Expected too much in Thailand?

[Cypress Hill]

It's interesting when people justify their involvement in prostitution by saying that some of the locals do it.

Some of the locals also deal drugs. Is it ok for us to do that too?

Almost every guy I have ever met does prostitutes and drugs.

It's entirely normal in any country.

I used drugs almost every evening in the UK, they were readily available, and not expensive.

I used prostitutes frequently in Thailand (when I was a bit younger), why not, they were there, and not expensive.

When I was in the USA, nearly every middle class party I attended had cannabis and cocaine on the table.

But to equate drinking with hookers to dealing drugs is a bit of a stretch, even for you.

Almost every guy does drugs and prostitutes??!!

You don't half talk crap sometimes, MaeJo

[louse1953]

Heres a prime example of what I spoke of above.

You want some, LOL.

Can you provide subtitles.

[SoiBiker]

For a little context, a recent study in the British Medical Journal concluded that some 11% of men in the UK had used prostitutes at some point in their life.

It's your life, and I'm not judging you - but don't kid yourself that we're all it.

(source - http://sti.bmj.com/content/early/2014/10/28/sextrans-2014-051683.full.pdf)

[fang37]

Do drugs & prostitutes?

Only with WRITTEN permission from wife.

[louse1953]

Never ever have I been with a hooker.

If I did I would have to confess to Father Brian.

Father B is very demanding as you can guess.

Father Brian believes in ghosts, fairy's and the invisible man/woman.Wouldn't store any faith in him.

[Lukasisgood]

Many retirees especially the drinkers are unhappy wherever they retire. Here in the states they are sitting at the bar still complaining about the government an yelling at the television. It's the same wherever you go

exactly true. I waited a long time to get back to the Philippines (retired serviceman). However, when I arrived, there were only a few places left that resembled what I knew in the mid seventies. Pinatubo had pretty much decimated the area, and it was slowly rebuilt. There were a few bars/ladies left.... and it was very pathetic. Now Angeles is busting out from side to side with gals and bars...but I have long given that up.

But my memories were of the old, retired sailors in subic bay. Not one of them looked at a girl or smiled. They all screamed and shouted at each other, or at fox news...while 10 gorgeous girls would be dancing, half naked, behind them.

I never got over it. And...to tell you the truth...I would much rather see a smartly dressed gal in a mall, than a naked one in a sleazy bar ...be it subic or thailand...

yeah ...i still look. and its not at fox news. But I do not imbibe. Happy with what I have at home.

Agreed. There is something very hollow about strippers and hookers that i just can't get passed. I went to a few strip clubs in my youth even dated one. Nothing about it is real and I could always feel it deep down. Watching a dancing girl just dosn't do anything for me. It might as well be a cartoon. Now a woman smiling and genually interested in me over a cup of coffee.... I'll take that over some girl in a bar with her eye on my wallet any day. Edited November 12, 2015 by Lukasisgood

[CharlieH]

Post in poor taste removed.

[tonray]

I think my expectations of Thailand started dropping around 2012 , I could see the place going south and no one seemed to care, to busy to lazy , Thais have devalued there Country .

Can you name some specific ways Thais have devalued their country ? Your post bears little substance except in your own perceptions. What happened in your situation from 2012 until now to change your mind ? Perhaps they are simply tired of farangs speaking poor English ?

Edited November 12, 2015 by tonray

[nemrut]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

Where I'm from immigrants and minorities are treated equally under the law and authorities. There may be a minority of national idiots who treat them poorly, but the law and authority does not. So you're comparing apples and pears.

I have no unfulfilled expectations personally, I didn't move here without having been here enough to know exactly what to expect.

From what I can tell, some people become dejected not because they are not given special treatment, but because they are not given equal treatment. TiT, we can tell them, because it is.

Not being a minority nor an immigrant, how would you know what their experiences are with the majority populace? Obviously many if not most of them do not have the luxury of being an 'expat' so they wouldnt get very far if they mirrored the behavior of whiners on TV.

The equal treatment you claim farangs yearn for is often none other than a sense of entitlement in disguise.

[nemrut]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

Learn to speak it, then.

I don't disagree. Probably factors heavily into one's disillusionment with their situation. Probably a bridge too far for most though.

No amount of speaking Thai is going to make you think Thai, and god forbid if you ever do, you would have just successfully dumbed yourself down to believing in things like "Face" (Dublicity) Ghost (Superstition) Status (Prejudice) and god knows how many other qualities we spent centuries educating ourselves out of in the west. (For better or worse).

Spoken like a true colonialist - ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand

[Stevemercer]

I'm not sure what all this talk about wanting to be treated equally (presumably with Thais) is all about? As far as I can tell, and my experience goes, we ferangs get preferantial treatment in just about everything!

[tookwan cottage]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

It is moments like these when I realize that TV comprises people with exceptional intellects—thank you Cypress Hill!

[tookwan cottage]

I'm not sure what all this talk about wanting to be treated equally (presumably with Thais) is all about? As far as I can tell, and my experience goes, we ferangs get preferantial treatment in just about everything!

And credit to you for being able to recognize the way that others actually treat you. This myth often goes hand-in-hand with the other one about how all Thais are "stupid."

[StreetCowboy]

I was a bit disappointed with my time in Thailand, but the failings were entirely in myself - I was not the dynamic entrepreneur and potential tycoon that I thought I was; I was not able to manage the multitude different priorities, and establish and maintain the cross-cultural business relationships.

A couple of years later, I went to another job, in another country, and it was exactly how I'd expected it to be. If you'd asked me what the job was like, I would have described it exactly the same before I went as after I left, but before I went, I had no idea what that kind of job was really like to work in. If you don't understand your expectations, then they're not very good expectations....

SC

[thaiduncankk]

I think a big part of it is realising that the small strips of bars in particular tourist areas are far removed from daily life in Thailand. The realisation that to hang out in bars with prostitutes is no different to doing the same in any other country. Everyday Thai women aren't fussed about speaking with foreign men and don't play along with the sleezy jokes, let alone getting involved in any pay to play. A lot of guys rush to move out here saying things like "the women are great", weirdly discarding the fact that the women they have been interacting with are prostitutes: uneducated single mothers from very poor families who get paid to entertain, much the same as any other country with a similar scene.

Such men then end up living on the fringes of society. They become part of the underbelly, and as such fail to integrate properly, learn the language beyond "suuwayi" or "aroi mak mak" or earn any respect in their local community.

As is inevitable, they usually begin having bad experiences with the Thais in and around the bar/hooker scene. And that's when you start hearing all the Thai bashing: "Thais are all [expletive goes here].

Internet dating ?

[thaiduncankk]

I think a big part of it is realising that the small strips of bars in particular tourist areas are far removed from daily life in Thailand. The realisation that to hang out in bars with prostitutes is no different to doing the same in any other country. Everyday Thai women aren't fussed about speaking with foreign men and don't play along with the sleezy jokes, let alone getting involved in any pay to play. A lot of guys rush to move out here saying things like "the women are great", weirdly discarding the fact that the women they have been interacting with are prostitutes: uneducated single mothers from very poor families who get paid to entertain, much the same as any other country with a similar scene.

Such men then end up living on the fringes of society. They become part of the underbelly, and as such fail to integrate properly, learn the language beyond "suuwayi" or "aroi mak mak" or earn any respect in their local community.

As is inevitable, they usually begin having bad experiences with the Thais in and around the bar/hooker scene. And that's when you start hearing all the Thai bashing: "Thais are all [expletive goes here].

And where did you meet your 'Internet' bird ?

[thaiduncankk]

It's interesting when people justify their involvement in prostitution by saying that some of the locals do it.

Some of the locals also deal drugs. Is it ok for us to do that too?

[thaiduncankk]

It's interesting when people justify their involvement in prostitution by saying that some of the locals do it.

Some of the locals also deal drugs. Is it ok for us to do that too?

And some boring bastards spend all day on TV ! Cap fits, wear it !

[SoiBiker]

It's interesting when people justify their involvement in prostitution by saying that some of the locals do it.

Some of the locals also deal drugs. Is it ok for us to do that too?

And some boring bastards spend all day on TV ! Cap fits, wear it !

Criticising people for posting on a forum by posting on a forum?

Not sure that carries much weight there, bub.

[StreetCowboy]

It's interesting when people justify their involvement in prostitution by saying that some of the locals do it.

Some of the locals also deal drugs. Is it ok for us to do that too?

And some boring bastards spend all day on TV ! Cap fits, wear it !

And some people's vocabulary is so limited that they cannot string a sentence together without obscenities.

[bazza40]

Perhaps a more educational question from the OP would be "what does it take to have your expectations met in Thailand?"

Disappointed expats have only themselves to blame, there was some aspect of Thailand they failed to come to terms with. Coping strategies include bitching and whining either back in their home country, or here. Sad people.

[bazza40]

Perhaps a more educational question from the OP would be "what does it take to have your expectations met in Thailand?"

Disappointed expats have only themselves to blame, there was some aspect of Thailand they failed to come to terms with. Coping strategies include bitching and whining either back in their home country, or here. Sad people.

[quandow]

Over the last few months I've posted about moving to Zijuatanejo, Mexico. Well, I did it, and am already making plans to move back. Zi is a pleasant community, the drivers are VERY polite, and it's a good place to come and die. Nothing but bars, restaurants and 75% Canadian foreigners which I believe accounts for the polite traffic.

I'd recommend to anyone who is growing weary of Thailand to get out of your comfort zone for a bit to realize how good you actually have it.

Oh, and the beaches in Zi are nice except for the occasional alligator.

[mpyre]

My big disappointment here is buddhism.

Of course, I never intended to become a buddhist, as it has a fundamental flaw, just like western philosophies.

But I hoped to be able to find a middle way or combination.

Thailand is not the place for that.

Luckily I found a nice place to live, far away from most farangs and thais, so I enjoy life here 6 months a year.

The way a religion or philosophy is put into practice is usually what is disappointing, not the belief system itself...Buddhist philosophy has much to recommend it.

[mpyre]

The way a religion or philosophy is put into practice is usually what is disappointing, not the belief system itself...Buddhist philosophy has much to recommend it.

[mpyre]

Over the last few months I've posted about moving to Zijuatanejo, Mexico. Well, I did it, and am already making plans to move back. Zi is a pleasant community, the drivers are VERY polite, and it's a good place to come and die. Nothing but bars, restaurants and 75% Canadian foreigners which I believe accounts for the polite traffic.

I'd recommend to anyone who is growing weary of Thailand to get out of your comfort zone for a bit to realize how good you actually have it.

Oh, and the beaches in Zi are nice except for the occasional alligator.

Sounds like you like it there...what's the problem?

[JAFO]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

Excellent post CH and probably the most accurate.

I have never understood why expats or foreigners embarking on this huge life change, expect it to be the same as the country they left and become terribly disappointed when its not. Are they really that naive? They come over and the rose colored glasses come off and if its not like home they pick, they scream, they bitch, they piss and they moan its not and in some cases become miserable A hole drunktards because of it. You can't have it both ways, try as you will. Some want all the perks and none of the noise. It just doesn't work that way.

The successful ones are the ones who did their research. visited enough to see what it has to offer. Evaluated and adjusted their priorities and expectations. These same successful expats are the ones who are likely very well rounded and were in their home country before they left.

[NovaBlue05]

Heres a prime example of what I spoke of above.

You want some, LOL.

My...What an annoying little <deleted>

[JLCrab]

There was a line (originally) from a 1928 blues song: I been down so long it seems like up to me.

I never had any real clout back home but, here in Thailand, even though I still have no real clout, it is in many ways better than I had it back home as nobody continually reminds me that I have no clout.

In my years before moving to Thailand, in USA, when you met someone male or female, you could almost see their mind churning: Can this person help me more than I can help them? and, if the answer was NO, 'twas nice meetin' you but ...

Edited November 12, 2015 by JLCrab

[puukao]

I expected:

1. Everyone to bow to me as I got off the plane

2. Embraced by a village and made chief within 2 days

3. Choice of 100 wives by Friday (today is Thursday)

4. Never to see a westerner

5. Never to see a backpacker

6. Spoon fed as they are amazed I can speak English

7. Honored as I spent time in NYC

8. Given gifts hourly; including real croc bags and tiger coats

What I got:

1. pollution

2. heat

3. sex tourists

4. fat old guys

5. yelling

6. hearing tuk tuk secondly

7. chinese products

8. ripped off

9. atm card stolen

10. food poisoning

11. aids

12. more aids

13. bugs at night

14. warm beer

So I will definitely be back!!! See you soon!!!!