What would you advise the bunch of long stayers who became full of cynicism?

[smotherb]

Many thanks to the sensible replies to my admittance of being an old semi-invalid cynic.

Why are so many respondents so rude?

To the majority, you obviously did not read my entry in detail or understanding. Here's why:

1. I cannot return to the UK, even for a short stay - my wife would not survive it.

2. With a little over 100,000 baht in the bank, I could not afford it.

3. With a replacement knee joint, I am not very mobile and can only walk a little or go for a swim without bending my knee very much.

4. I would NEVER leave my wife.

5. In the UK, I was 100% active - a director of the number one British domestic heating company, looking after 7 factories. Then I played rugby at a high level, but then started refereeing moving up to high grade games. I also started my own musical theatre company and we staged one major musical show and one cabaret show every year. I was ALWAYS active - every day of the week. 100%

6. Now, here for 15 years, and retired and married, and handicapped, I am totally bored with doing NOTHING now, after seeing and doing all the main Thai sites. I go mad just sitting in the house. My wife can live just watching Thai TV, using her mobile, or playing games on the computer.

There were a few very nice and sympathetic replies which I will read again and see how I can adapt.

There were also some comments which, perhaps, the writer can help me with.

1. Where can I buy scones and pikelets from?

2. Is there any clotted cream in Pattaya?

3. How do you cope mentally with no insurance if you are over 70, like me?

4, If we left Pattaya and returned to Isaan and lived a quiet life in the country (which sounds divine), I still need to keep my brain turning, and not be one of the many old farangs who go to the beach here, drink their coffee and sleep for the rest of the day.

I already do loads of brain puzzles that help me stay alive.

At 76, you ought to be more resourceful. It takes some skills to reach that age.

If you need medical care, you can get it in the UK, can you not? Surely your wife would accompany you if you needed to go--they do not kill Thais in the UK, do they?

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

You're complaining you have nothing to keep your mind occupied, so why don't you learn to make clotted cream, scones and pikelets--they are all very simple--and learn to make any other dish you fancy?

Learn together with your wife and find new avenues of companionship.

The best part, you can learn to cook anywhere, even Isaan

[flyDelight]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

[MaeJoMTB]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Scones are very easy to cook.

Clotted cream is harder, but Greek yogurt makes a decent substitute.

Edited November 21, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[SoiBiker]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Scones are very easy to cook.

Clotted cream is harder, but Greek yogurt makes a decent substitute.

As a proud Cornishman, I find that last statement deeply offensive.

[Shadychris]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Really?? What does it have to do with luck? We don't win our partners in a lottery, and unless of Indian descent we dont have one picked for us by our parents... We get to choose our partners. So there's a choice of a nice family orientated girl who enjoys cooking and keeping the house nice, or a bar girl who does good bj's but not much else other than watch TV all day.

The only luck involved is in finding a nice domesticated girl who is also really hot in the bedroom, and in Thailand that really isnt so difficult.. ;-)

[Shadychris]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Scones are very easy to cook.

Clotted cream is harder, but Greek yogurt makes a decent substitute.

As a proud Cornishman, I find that last statement deeply offensive.

Agreed - MaeJoMTB has clearly never eaten Rodda's clotted cream... Edited November 21, 2015 by Shadychris

[SoiBiker]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Really?? What does it have to do with luck? We don't win our partners in a lottery, and unless of Indian descent we dont have one picked for us by our parents... We get to choose our partners. So there's a choice of a nice family orientated girl who enjoys cooking and keeping the house nice, or a bar girl who does good bj's but not much else other than watch TV all day.

The only luck involved is in finding a nice domesticated girl who is also really hot in the bedroom, and in Thailand that really isnt so difficult.. ;-)

It's not that hard anywhere, as long as you don't settle for the first thing that comes your way.

[MaeJoMTB]

Scones are very easy to cook.

Clotted cream is harder, but Greek yogurt makes a decent substitute.

As a proud Cornishman, I find that last statement deeply offensive.

Agreed - MaeJoMTB has clearly never eaten Rodda's clotted cream...

I used to live in Bude.

Edited November 21, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[SoiBiker]

Scones are very easy to cook.

Clotted cream is harder, but Greek yogurt makes a decent substitute.

As a proud Cornishman, I find that last statement deeply offensive.

Agreed - MaeJoMTB has clearly never eaten Rodda's clotted cream...

I used to live in Bude.

You have my deepest sympathy.

[huawei]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Really?? What does it have to do with luck? We don't win our partners in a lottery, and unless of Indian descent we dont have one picked for us by our parents... We get to choose our partners. So there's a choice of a nice family orientated girl who enjoys cooking and keeping the house nice, or a bar girl who does good bj's but not much else other than watch TV all day.

The only luck involved is in finding a nice domesticated girl who is also really hot in the bedroom, and in Thailand that really isnt so difficult.. ;-)

A nice domesticated " poor" girl from a "village"....to be more precise..

[flyDelight]

[connda]

Some OPs just aren't happy unless they can complain about 'sexpats', expats, and long-term residents who talk about their experiences with the negative aspects of this country.

I tend to stay away from those types of self-righteous ideologues who like to go on trolling expeditions.

Edited November 21, 2015 by connda

[GOLDBUGGY]

There is 3 Golden Rules called the 3 C's which everyone should get to know when working and living Overseas.

They are:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

I suppose you could add another "C" to this Golden Rule for people who can't follow the first 3 C Rules. It would be:

4) Don't "Come Here!"

Don't compare? How one can in his right mind come to some exotic place and not make comparisons? It also serves in making improvements...

Criticism is also a way to clear one's thoughts on any subject and perhaps find a way to comply with changes whether they are positive or negative.

Complaining sometimes lets out the excess steam...

I not see much value in your advice. A person without brains goes not very far. And in that process also processing negative things is very valuable. I've seen far too many empty headed people repeating the mantra of positive thinking and burn out at the same time.

The 3 C's aren't about being positive all the time. They are about not being negative all the time, and what this post is all about.

How can one argue with a person who thinks comparing this country to his own, criticizes everything he sees, and complaining about everything he doesn't like, is a good thing? You wouldn't be my friend.

I have lived and worked Overseas most of my adult life, and it is people like you that I see burn out first by a long shot. So let's see how long you will last and keeping your friends and family here, by bitching and complaining all the time and telling everyone that back home we had this or that and not the crap they have here.

[GOLDBUGGY]

There is 3 Golden Rules called the 3 C's which everyone should get to know when working and living Overseas.

They are:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

I suppose you could add another "C" to this Golden Rule for people who can't follow the first 3 C Rules. It would be:

4) Don't "Come Here!"

Very good What are the 3 Do's?

That is easy to answer.

1) Do not Compare.

2) Do not Criticize.

3) Do not Complain.

And if you can't handle that..

4) Do not Come Here!

[off road pat]

I was born to be a pessimist. ...........My blood type is B negative.......................

A pessimist is a optimist with experience....!!!

Best regards, Off Road Pat

[GOLDBUGGY]

There is 3 Golden Rules called the 3 C's which everyone should get to know when working and living Overseas.

They are:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

I suppose you could add another "C" to this Golden Rule for people who can't follow the first 3 C Rules. It would be:

4) Don't "Come Here!"

That sounds a veritable subservient attitude. If you don't compare, you have no values; if you don't criticize, others will think you agree, if you don't complain, nothing will change, and if you don't come here, you will still be a miserable old sot who is afraid to compare, criticize and complain.

It is better to know enough to realize what can be changed and what cannot. Beating your head against a wall does little good for anything, including the wall.

So you think you can change things here by comparing your country to this country then criticizing and complaining about everything that is different here?

Like a Pigs Pattula you will!

But good luck burning yourself out trying.

As they say: "God help me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things that I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference."

[off road pat]

!00% agree I am having the best time of my life, My motto in life is where ever I lay my head to sleep is home, I try to never compare apples with oranges, every where is unique enjoy the difference and ignore the negative. I have found Thailand to be a very friendly positive place to live and plan to stay until the my final Bar-B-Q. Everything is do-able even the immigration process sometimes a bit frustrating but overcome by good planning. Some of the posters here would be miserable in Utopia it is just the way they are and I think they honestly love to bring people down to their level of despair so they don't feel lonely down there.

So well said,....I agree with you the full....

Best regards,...Off Road pat

[SoiBiker]

I was born to be a pessimist. ...........My blood type is B negative.......................

A pessimist is a optimist with experience....!!!

Best regards, Off Road Pat

A pessimist is an optimist who failed, and then gave up trying.

[off road pat]

I don't get the OP... why the post?

I can say with certainty that I don't love it. I don't hate it either. I can live here for now, but I am exploring other options. It's just not that exciting to me.

It's easy to live here, but it's a dead end in my opinion. Fun at times, but there are much more fun places in this world and some very close by.

Thaivisa is a place you should not frequent if you are not enjoying thailand, it will bring you down.

Getting out of here throughout the year is mandatory therapy. Good to see other places and I like going back to my home country... the people there are AFU but the mountains, beaches, countryside, beer and food is way better than here.

Chiang Mai immigration is completely dysfunctional...the worst and may be the reason I leave Thailand altogether (If I am happy in Vietnam I will certainly come back to CM and that immigration), certainly why I may leave CM.

The thai street food has become boring to me (although there are a few great places on Suthep) and I am finding adventure in seeking out other culture foods and making my own at home.

If chillin out is your thing, this can be the place. Often I find I need more to do with my life than this place offers... then I get lazy and just chill...5555

A motorcycle ride into the mountains and a road trip to Chiang Rai is my usual therapy.

If motorcycle trips into the mountains is your thing, do the Mae Hong Son Loop,..off road to Pai, May Hong Son, Wat Chan, Mae Sot,Mae Sariang, Sop Moei, Mae Caem, Chiang Dao, Khun Yuam, Umphang,.....and that's just a small percentage of the places I have done several times by 4x4,....there are so many great off road tracks around Chiang Mai and the North,....I never get bored here.....

Best regards, Off Road Pat....

[simon43]

I think that anyone with over ten thousand posts on this forum should be put down! These are the guys who clearly never leave their bar stools and go out and see what is actually happening in this great country.

Depends on how many years you've been a member of Thaivisa.

I haven't reached 10,000 posts yet, but not far off - still less than 2 posts per day.

[onni4me]

The 3 C's aren't about being positive all the time. They are about not being negative all the time, and what this post is all about.

How can one argue with a person who thinks comparing this country to his own, criticizes everything he sees, and complaining about everything he doesn't like, is a good thing? You wouldn't be my friend.

I have lived and worked Overseas most of my adult life, and it is people like you that I see burn out first by a long shot. So let's see how long you will last and keeping your friends and family here, by bitching and complaining all the time and telling everyone that back home we had this or that and not the crap they have here.

You didn't seem to catch my drift at all. And you truly seem to be happy in your holier-than-thou approach...

I don't dwell much here on ThaiVisa since it is full of people who judge other's character just by reading some reply to their posts. Sad and yet so predictable.

Burn out? Hmm...actually I am quite happy here in this country. Been here 15 years and had a family 10+ years...have to try real hard to complain and bitch since I was just asked to join for a nice cruise by some Thai friends and they will pay for the trip - or their company to be more precise. So hard to have friends like this...LOL They must enjoy my negativity.

Oh and btw, you are not the only one who has been overseas most of his life. So it does not make you an expert. Hope you have everything under control and when life throws some surprises at you, I must advice you at that moment:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

4) Don't "Come Here!"

[MILT]

Who?

[billd766]

I think that anyone with over ten thousand posts on this forum should be put down! These are the guys who clearly never leave their bar stools and go out and see what is actually happening in this great country.

Depends on how many years you've been a member of Thaivisa.

I haven't reached 10,000 posts yet, but not far off - still less than 2 posts per day.

I agree with you.

I have been a member for 13 years and I still haven't reached 10,000 posts yet.

It is easy to do though, just go onto the political threads and you can rack them up in a few months.

[GOLDBUGGY]

The 3 C's aren't about being positive all the time. They are about not being negative all the time, and what this post is all about.

How can one argue with a person who thinks comparing this country to his own, criticizes everything he sees, and complaining about everything he doesn't like, is a good thing? You wouldn't be my friend.

I have lived and worked Overseas most of my adult life, and it is people like you that I see burn out first by a long shot. So let's see how long you will last and keeping your friends and family here, by bitching and complaining all the time and telling everyone that back home we had this or that and not the crap they have here.

You didn't seem to catch my drift at all. And you truly seem to be happy in your holier-than-thou approach...

I don't dwell much here on ThaiVisa since it is full of people who judge other's character just by reading some reply to their posts. Sad and yet so predictable.

Burn out? Hmm...actually I am quite happy here in this country. Been here 15 years and had a family 10+ years...have to try real hard to complain and bitch since I was just asked to join for a nice cruise by some Thai friends and they will pay for the trip - or their company to be more precise. So hard to have friends like this...LOL They must enjoy my negativity.

Oh and btw, you are not the only one who has been overseas most of his life. So it does not make you an expert. Hope you have everything under control and when life throws some surprises at you, I must advice you at that moment:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

4) Don't "Come Here!"

The 3 C's are not something I just dreamed up here today.Most hardened veterans who have worked Overseas for many years know of these rules. It was passed on to me by a 64 Year Old Expat who has worked in construction overseas for 40 years, and had been to most place here on Earth. I was a newbie then and my first overseas job, so he passed this on to me. I saw a lot of wisdom in it then and I still do now.

From a guy who originally posted it was good to compare, criticize, and complain, you sure changed your tune on your second post. Drinking a wee bit are we?

But of course if this doesn't fit you or your life style then by all means don't take good advice. I could care less.

[louse1953]

I wish all the time that I could go home, but I am married to a Thai girl who could not survive England. I am a semi-invalid, 76 years old, and would die if I had to leave her after 13 years of marriage. So comments like "go home" are so crass. We have enough money to live on, but now from being 100% active to being almost totally inactive is just existence and not living.

Most of the comments were directed at the OP not at yourself. With your skills im sure you could imerse yourself with something online or learn a new skill? Your never too old to learn

Prof,where does your wife come from? Surely her hometown is not Pattaya? At your age you should be living in a nice place in the country, enjoying the simple pleasures of birds singing in the morning.There's nothing to beat nature, especially when we know we are in our sunset years...,we're going back to where we came from, It's comforting with contentment and dignity.... and the internet connections are as good as Bangkok.!

I live in rural Thailand and it is great for me but not for everyone.

The main thing I have learned about nature is that sunshine and rain makes the grass grow. The bad thing is it grows so fast, the good thing I that I get exercise when I cut it.

Slow down the posts billd,you closing in on the 10,000 posts.

[Fookhaht]

Immerse yourself in society. Learn Thai, make Thai friends, read about Thai history and do your best to understand the culture.

Absolutely.

I wonder how many of the chronic whiners/ whingers have Thai friends outside of their Thai partner who only puts up with them because of their money?

Edited November 22, 2015 by Fookhaht

[onni4me]

From a guy who originally posted it was good to compare, criticize, and complain, you sure changed your tune on your second post. Drinking a wee bit are we?

But of course if this doesn't fit you or your life style then by all means don't take good advice. I could care less.

Now I am an alcoholic too? No, sorry to disappoint you. I rarely drink. Perhaps 2-5 times a year. You should try it too...makes life seem so much better...and sober.

And you seem to care a lot...just to say that my point was that I engage my brains first in any situation to asses it. I don't have rules per se but like to keep an open mind and if things look bad, I just walk away. I don't stay and try to rectify an unsalvageable situation.

I did say it was good to try to see things what they really are. Just that. Maybe that is not what you try to achieve but for real understanding of things it's invaluable.

[mpyre]

They were full of cynicism when they arrived in Thailand. Life is a growth process, body, mind and spirit.

Go to the Temple or any house of worship and surrender to the Lord of your understanding. Stay with it, because when you are sincere, it will happen.

The good life isn't for the faint of heart. We are spiritual beings on a temporary journey as humans. Make the best of it. Fear not.

Yeah, that will solve all my daily business and other problems...I'll just walk to a temple amd surrender myself to the Lord...

That would be fine by me but my family would certainly suffer. No food on table and bills unpaid and other things not done.

This kind of religious BS in something I frown upon...and for many good reasons.

It's a metaphor...

[smotherb]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Well. I would not choose a woman who would not try to please me in all ways.

[smotherb]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Really?? What does it have to do with luck? We don't win our partners in a lottery, and unless of Indian descent we dont have one picked for us by our parents... We get to choose our partners. So there's a choice of a nice family orientated girl who enjoys cooking and keeping the house nice, or a bar girl who does good bj's but not much else other than watch TV all day.

The only luck involved is in finding a nice domesticated girl who is also really hot in the bedroom, and in Thailand that really isnt so difficult.. ;-)

.

I think there are other choices; and certainly being able to cook does not negate being able to give a good BJ