What Are Your Hobbies In Thailand?

[Woodentop]

And prey, what was your contribution to this discussion?

Edit: Typo

Edited October 9, 2006 by Woodentop

[mrtoad]

Playing Cricket

[Lil_Jon]

Playing Cricket

Where do you play cricket????

[Naam]

my typical day in Thailand after building a house:

04.00 getting up

04.05 exercise - carrying my coffee mug from the kitchen to my study

04.06 exercise - switching on modem/router

04.07 tension - will the ADSL light stay on or blink

04.08 exercise - switching on my PCs

04.08 tension relieved - internet connection available

04.09 exercise - lifting coffee mug and taking a few sips

04.10 meditation - till windows has loaded all drivers and misc. programs

04.11 exercise - lifting coffee mug and taking a sip

04.12 checking DOW, Bovespa, IPC and Europe

04.15 checking EUR, THB, MXN, INR, IDR, ISK, TRY vs. USD and feeding it in my spreadsheet

04.20 checking mail

04.25 answering mail

05.00 finished answering mail

05.01 new mail arrived

05.05 answering new mail

05.30 finished answering new mail

05.31 reading news

06.00 downloading and reading a zillion attachments

07.00 feeding my fish

07.10 walking around my garden

07.30 exercise - getting 2nd cup of coffee from kitchen

07.45 EXERCISE! - punching my punching bag like a madman

07.50 out of breath (heavy smoker) taking a dip in the pool

07.51 considering whether to swim two or four full pool lengths

07.52 deciding that swimming might not be good for my health

07.53 evaluating the interest fact why i always have the urge to pee when in pool

07.54 suppressing the urge to pee in the pool although pH-level is quite low

08.00 climbing out of pool and cursing because there is no towel

08.02 walking very carefully with wet feet over highly slippery tiles to my study

08.04 thanking the GODs that i did not slip

08.05 calling angrily for the housemaid

08.08 calling even angrier for the housemaid

08.10 housemaid turns up and remarks cooly "at this time i serve madame coffee in bed!"

08.11 asking housemaid why no towels in pool area?

08.15 giving up asking housemaid why no towels in pool area

08.16

08.30 meditation - why are we still a long way from generating energy like the sun?

08.45 checking EUR, THB, MXN, INR, IDR, ISK, TRY vs. USD and feeding it in my spreadsheet

08.50 checking asian markets

09.15 shall we buy anything today? if yes, then what?

09.45 shall we sell anything today? i yes then what?

10.00 checking a transatlantic forum and making a few posts

10.30 checking thaivisa forum and shaking my head with disbelief

10.45 wife turns up and we are having breakfast and a morning chat

10.55 wife and me cannot agree how the situation in Iraq should be handled

11.00 wife leaves to spent an hour or two in her bathroom (so i think)

11.01 wife catches me while pouring a (tiny) glass of portwine

11.02 "do you really have to drink alcohol in the mornings???"

11.03 withdrawing with my glass to my study

11.30 checking EUR, THB, MXN, INR, IDR, ISK, TRY vs. USD and feeding it in my spreadsheet

11.40 checking asian markets

11.50 giving some chores to the gardener

to be continued!

[sibeymai]

I used to think I was playing chess when I went out to bars, One Night In Bangkok style, but then someone explained that I was mistaken and I was really playing "chest". Only problem was the the pawns kept turning out to be Porns. Gave up when I kept loosing the Queen.

[Martin]

I am doing research for an MA.

It is supposed to lead me to mastery of the arts of the social sciences, but if it doesn't, I will have enjoyed the day a week that I spend down at Khon Kaen University amongst all those flirtatious young ladies.

The phenomenon-to-come that I am looking into is the small proportion of those of the next generation of 'mia farang' who are now having houses built in the villages ahead of retiring there with their 'baby-boomer' husbands.

They look like being very formidable women, equipped with a strong set of the 'building blocks of power': experiential learning from years in the West (bringing up kids and seeing them through Uni, and so on), plus income, plus capital, plus a supportive husband. In twenty years time, Thailand may well draw a woman prime minister from amongst their ranks.

[Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t]

I am a RPG geek so I Play Dungeons & Dragons with friends on the weekends and I play a online Role Playing Game called World of Warcraft.

[Chantal]

my typical day in Thailand after building a house:

04.00 getting up

04.05 exercise - carrying my coffee mug from the kitchen to my study

04.06 exercise - switching on modem/router

04.07 tension - will the ADSL light stay on or blink

04.08 exercise - switching on my PCs

04.08 tension relieved - internet connection available

04.09 exercise - lifting coffee mug and taking a few sips

04.10 meditation - till windows has loaded all drivers and misc. programs

04.11 exercise - lifting coffee mug and taking a sip

04.12 checking DOW, Bovespa, IPC and Europe

04.15 checking EUR, THB, MXN, INR, IDR, ISK, TRY vs. USD and feeding it in my spreadsheet

04.20 checking mail

04.25 answering mail

05.00 finished answering mail

05.01 new mail arrived

05.05 answering new mail

05.30 finished answering new mail

05.31 reading news

06.00 downloading and reading a zillion attachments

07.00 feeding my fish

07.10 walking around my garden

07.30 exercise - getting 2nd cup of coffee from kitchen

07.45 EXERCISE! - punching my punching bag like a madman

07.50 out of breath (heavy smoker) taking a dip in the pool

07.51 considering whether to swim two or four full pool lengths

07.52 deciding that swimming might not be good for my health

07.53 evaluating the interest fact why i always have the urge to pee when in pool

07.54 suppressing the urge to pee in the pool although pH-level is quite low

08.00 climbing out of pool and cursing because there is no towel

08.02 walking very carefully with wet feet over highly slippery tiles to my study

08.04 thanking the GODs that i did not slip

08.05 calling angrily for the housemaid

08.08 calling even angrier for the housemaid

08.10 housemaid turns up and remarks cooly "at this time i serve madame coffee in bed!"

08.11 asking housemaid why no towels in pool area?

08.15 giving up asking housemaid why no towels in pool area

08.16

08.30 meditation - why are we still a long way from generating energy like the sun?

08.45 checking EUR, THB, MXN, INR, IDR, ISK, TRY vs. USD and feeding it in my spreadsheet

08.50 checking asian markets

09.15 shall we buy anything today? if yes, then what?

09.45 shall we sell anything today? i yes then what?

10.00 checking a transatlantic forum and making a few posts

10.30 checking thaivisa forum and shaking my head with disbelief

10.45 wife turns up and we are having breakfast and a morning chat

10.55 wife and me cannot agree how the situation in Iraq should be handled

11.00 wife leaves to spent an hour or two in her bathroom (so i think)

11.01 wife catches me while pouring a (tiny) glass of portwine

11.02 "do you really have to drink alcohol in the mornings???"

11.03 withdrawing with my glass to my study

11.30 checking EUR, THB, MXN, INR, IDR, ISK, TRY vs. USD and feeding it in my spreadsheet

11.40 checking asian markets

11.50 giving some chores to the gardener

to be continued!

Can't wait for the rest!

[alexth]

I don't play chess, but would love to play monopoly, I used to find it on www.games.com, but now it's gone. Is anyone else playing monopoly? If yes, where?

[game4shame]

10.30 checking thaivisa forum and shaking my head with disbelief

I think we've all done that before!!!

[siddv]

You gotta be kidding me! None of you go bar hoping or do any mongering any longer? Are you guy really beyond all that!!! Tell me it ain't so!!! I still have a few years before officially retiring in Thailand but do already own house there with the TGF. I'm there every 3 months for 2-3 weeks. In exchange..I am allowed boys night equal to 1 day per week..no questions asked as long as I'm in by 2-3am..no overnights, no mia noys. I accept the trade as fair. Nobody there has a similar better deal?

[Ta22]

First i would list the hobby that i am most enage in and then slowly into thoe that i enjoy doing .

My current Hobby ,

i spend most of my days . restoring my Classic cars . i won 4 classic cars now .

3 of them is Celica ( Ta22 ) 1970s model . - so is between workshop and hunting of parts ect ect .

almost everyday i play game online , used to be counter strike , and slowly move to War craft (DOTA)

about 3-4 time a week me and my groupy would go Drinking , usually beer , and of cos chasing young thai girl at the local bar and resturant , usually PG who is working for certian beer company .

- Recently i am very much into Car audio . and had spend alot of time at the car audio shop ..

i just installed a mid grade Bostwick , 6.5 inches . multi componet System , a pair of 10 inches sub woofer , . Ads Amp , and alphard Amp , total 8 ch ,

the whole car now have a total of 10 speaker in it . making it a impressive sound machine .

MOVIE !!! is a daily thing for me .. usually i am at the local DVD shop buying some Movie title .

lucky that the title keep coming and i used to visit MAJOR cineplex once a week . but now i spend more on DVD instead of Movie tix ,

I do enjoy Bowling , and have friendly match between my pal .. i am a below average player .

score range between 120-180 -

I have my own Car club , with about 30 member - and we do have meeting once in a while .

used to be every week and it get boring . and now ismroe like once every bluemoon .

i am online everyday . reading world news , seeing how bush screw up is kinda fun , i make it a point that i read up about all the news for about 1-2 hour everyday . just to have a mild topic when i chat up with anyone currrent affair thing .

looking for good foods had also been a enjoying hobby , as it come with the bar and resturant visit .which run late into the night usually coming home 5-6 am in the morning .

Bussiness planning . i spend part of my time . working work bussiness plan . and looking for all kinda resources and income from my contact and oversea connection . i do enjoy this also . but is more ike a task and hobbything .

i am recently trying to pick up Golf > but had yet find time for it . i would be starting off maybe at the local driving range . which charge like 30 balls for 45 baht .

i play Sanooker . with my younger brother almost every week . ..

usually spending about 3 hour at the palour .

i enjoy , chess ( suck at it ) - by my brother and father is good at chinese chess .

Photography is also one of my hobby . usually taking work progress of my restoration .

learning something everyday .

i just learn how to Mix a clearer for washing oily surafce for cars whahah .

searching for DIY junky online .

jewellery design , handicraft , is also omething which i spend time on weekly .

riding my cars around town , rising my Honda dream ( 100 cc ) bike around town .

watching TV. satalite channel again listening to world news . recently on taiwan and north korea ,

as well as the amish school shotting and yesterday kids who fire a ak47 in his school .

what i would love to do soon ,

learn to speak a thai better , as well as write it . i can speak decent thai but yet to learn the ABC of it . so would be putting sometime on it .

Cooking is also a daily hobby . which i enjoy . so come with eating

i do get bored easily . so if you are in chiangmai . do PM meif you wanna go

Snooker , bowling , just riding around town , photography , movie , drinking beer ( thai resturant and bars ) , or any other hobby . i am keen to learn .

Oh yeh i do enjoy MONOPOLY . and i think i got a Set of the full version some where if i try to find . is a good time killer and enjoy winning whhaha

Ta22

Edited October 10, 2006 by Ta22

[terry57]

You gotta be kidding me! None of you go bar hoping or do any mongering any longer? Are you guy really beyond all that!!! Tell me it ain't so!!! I still have a few years before officially retiring in Thailand but do already own house there with the TGF. I'm there every 3 months for 2-3 weeks. In exchange..I am allowed boys night equal to 1 day per week..no questions asked as long as I'm in by 2-3am..no overnights, no mia noys. I accept the trade as fair. Nobody there has a similar better deal?

hope you have that in writing mate as it sounds a little bit to good to me.

let me get this right as i might be reading you wrong. ?

you still get with the trollups is that right. ?

if you do, chances are very good that she wont be around for too long and that house you bought will no longer be available to you.

[Tornado]

I think you migt be right Terry.

[siddv]

I didn't mean to drip on this thread. It was pretty good and for someone who is not in Thailand on a full time basis just yet it was interesting to hear what you guys really do with some of your time. The deal I have is with me. Will it last? I don't know but I'll tell you the fact that this is what I am allowed to enjoy is part of the reason Thailand even appeals to me. If not, what is the point of even being there? I might as well jsut stay in the US and live the same quite life of desperation most of my suburban friends live. Its a two way street. She gets the nice home and financial security and I get a beautiful young TG who I can bee seen in public with and travel with to nice places (ie non bar girl type). I was just wondering if others are allowed a little recreation as well. I'm here to learn from some of you long timers ok and I repect your opinions. I was just wondering. I I offended anyone...sorry.

Edited October 10, 2006 by siddv

[Martin]

Each to their own, 'siddv'.

If you and she are happy with the arrangement and are doing no harm to each other or to anyone else, then (in my book, at least) you are fine, and good luck to you.

If there is a Judgment Day, I can't see that being brought up against you, but I can see "Disapproving of others who were different" being a sin that a lot of folk will have to answer for.

I was brought up in a society that had been shaped in its views by the Victorian 'mechanical-era' belief that there was One Right Way to behave. I gradually saw the error of that belief and Thailand has completed (I hope) the process.

Live and let live!

(And if it doesn't last: mae pen rai, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you had enough 'go' about you to try out something that seemed a good idea at the time.)

[terry57]

I didn't mean to drip on this thread. It was pretty good and for someone who is not in Thailand on a full time basis just yet it was interesting to hear what you guys really do with some of your time. The deal I have is with me. Will it last? I don't know but I'll tell you the fact that this is what I am allowed to enjoy is part of the reason Thailand even appeals to me. If not, what is the point of even being there? I might as well jsut stay in the US and live the same quite life of desperation most of my suburban friends live. Its a two way street. She gets the nice home and financial security and I get a beautiful young TG who I can bee seen in public with and travel with to nice places (ie non bar girl type). I was just wondering if others are allowed a little recreation as well. I'm here to learn from some of you long timers ok and I repect your opinions. I was just wondering. I I offended anyone...sorry.

your leaving me hanging mate,

do you get with the trollups or just have a giggle with the boys. ?

there's a big difference when you got a nice young lady at home as you have just told us.

sounds like you love your thai lady and i was just curious if you trollup it up on your nights out as im sure this could determine the future with your partner.

cheers

[Martin]

"08.00 climbing out of pool and cursing because there is no towel."

No towel in the pool area!!!

Whatever is the world coming to???

This must preage the end of civilisation as we have known it!!!

[borracho]

Shaking the dewdrops off my liver and raising gerbils.

[PeaceBlondie]

I swim a lot; just bought a one-year (200 baht) membership so each visit just costs me sip baht more.

I am on the internet way too much, forums, news, etc.

Walk around the block occasionally.

No real "hobbies" as such. Maybe need to find some. I never have played golf, tennis, rugby. Never enjoyed American major sports. I have followed Formula I car racing and motoGP in the past. Several of my friends knew Kevin Schwantz....

My partner and I go out about twice a week in evenings. Sometimes go on short day trips, like Doi Inthanon last Sunday, with his family.

Cinema; my partner brings VCD's of movies that we watch at home.

I meet an expat friend maybe once a week (trying to get more friends).

Thanks for all these ideas, folks.

[fruittbatt]

so much to do, so little time!

basically reclusive....

read heaps: fiction, history, academic texts, newspapers, online blogs, TV.

historical research and writing drafts of my historical novel (about colonial Ceylon).

study for my MA online part time.

discuss many topics of mutual interest with my best friend: my husband. Lots of laughs and jokes as well as serious analysis.

study Thai language at home with my husband: sporadically!

learn new publishing skills.

yoga, fitness.

write my blog & replies to TV.

meet friends at dinner or at various interest groups.

Edited October 11, 2006 by fruittbatt

[jetjock]

My favorite hobby in Thailand ???

So much to do--to so many--with so little--and so little time left to do it in !

Oops ! Sorry guys, I must have dozed off and been dreaming about my good old days !

[sego]

workout in the morning or go to yoga before work

go to night class twice a week, or speeches, or operas / ballet/ concerts... but save a little time for bars as well

yoga, runs (1/4 marathons) and waterski saturdays and booze cruises on sundays...

[Thaiboxer]

My avatar says it all:) I like traveling too.

[terry57]

so much to do, so little time!

basically reclusive....

read heaps: fiction, history, academic texts, newspapers, online blogs, TV.

historical research and writing drafts of my historical novel (about colonial Ceylon).

study for my MA online part time.

discuss many topics of mutual interest with my best friend: my husband. Lots of laughs and jokes as well as serious analysis.

study Thai language at home with my husband: sporadically!

learn new publishing skills.

yoga, fitness.

write my blog & replies to TV.

meet friends at dinner or at various interest groups.

cricky's fruitty,

and all this time i thought you had a pair of gonads.

sorry about that mate,

err, umm, sorry again as i mean miss.

anyway,

cheers, you cracking top sheila.

[Naam]

"08.00 climbing out of pool and cursing because there is no towel."

No towel in the pool area!!!

Whatever is the world coming to???

This must preage the end of civilisation as we have known it!!!

it is indeed end of civilisation and/or broken bones if your pool area is tiled with highly polished marble like mine

[fruittbatt]

cricky's fruitty,

and all this time i thought you had a pair of gonads.

sorry about that mate,

err, umm, sorry again as i mean miss.

anyway,

cheers, you cracking top sheila.

Cheers, Terry. And you can call me "mate" if you want to: a few of my Aussies mates do.

And as for the gonads, never had 'em, never envied them. Happy to be a gal. Happy to be alive and in Thailand.

Edited October 11, 2006 by fruittbatt

[Kan Win]

Maybe if we are really lucky, we can get Kan Win to give us a chat about simple stuff "Yes one Kan" like framing a picture, and rule of thirds etc.

Wel-come to my hobby and to Kan

But I am more of a Panoramic Photo Person, Landscape and all….

And I love it, to just step out of this little town and try to capture the sheer beauty of this Province (once the weather clears up that it).

Now that is a Hobby of Great Magnitude

Yours truly,

Kan Win

P.S. "Khutan" beers are nice and cold, just waiting for you to arrive with your camera

P.S.S. Another Hobby of mine is to post silly things on ThaiVisaDotCom, but that is another "Never Ending Story".

[Sakeopete]

I am a RPG geek so I Play Dungeons & Dragons with friends on the weekends and I play a online Role Playing Game called World of Warcraft.

LOL I play World of Warcraft in the evenings when the wife and kids sleep, I'm on the Euro Teranis server.

The rest of the time I'm usualy breaking things trying to fix them

[backflip]

How to Have a Mid-Life Crisis

Sometimes a man has to lose his bearings to find his way.

By Hugh O'Neill

Here are some new ambitions we should strive toward.

1. Give Lancelot Love Handles

Some psychologists advise moving beyond what they call heroic thinking. By that,

they mean the phallic, ride-to-the-rescue, assert-your-will inclination of young

manhood. There's probably wisdom in this thought. But why give up that beloved

word, "heroic." Better to tweak the ideal a touch, cast Lancelot as older and

wiser, less jouster than judge. Granted, it's no snap to see middle age as

swashbuckling. The cliché of the diminished middle-aged man -- ineffectual,

riddled with doubt -- is deep-rooted. But it's also ridiculous. Try swapping the

merely muscular, boyish traits of youth for this anthology of autumnal virtues:

prudence, patience, experience, wisdom, kindness, temperance, judiciousness,

tenacity, perspective, coolness, and style. You could build a big shot from

these beatitudes.

2. Throw the Boy Overboard

Hey, dingdong, the boy is dead. And so are his dreams. It's important to admit

they're gone, sit shivah for a while, and then move on. Yes, grieving is

required. But if we cling to the persona of youth (in Jung's phrase, "prop up

the corpse"), we'll find ourselves trapped in regret and nostalgia for the past.

Wrap the lad in an oilskin, slip him over the gunnels, salute a helluva fella,

and chart a new course.

3. Write a New Mission Statement

We've got to find a new motivating mythology. "As he attempts to reappraise his

life, a man discovers how much it has been based on illusions," says Levinson,

"and he is faced with the task of de-illusionment." Levinson is careful not to

use the word "disillusionment," with its implication of cynicism and despair.

De-illusionment is not surrender, but rather a modification of our long-held

dreams. "The challenge for the midlife man," adds Brim, "is to adapt to the

closing down of possibilities, to the new realities of his life. It's perfectly

okay to lower your level of aspiration, to give up an early goal and substitute

something else."

Okay, maybe the Oval Office is a reach, but school board may still be on the

radar screen. Adapt. Modify. Don't panic. Invent new goals. Remember that '60s

slogan: "Think globally, act locally." Aspire to achievements in your backyard,

small ambitions that are within your arms' reach.

Bad Idea #1: Plastic Surgery. No hair weave. No lobe lifting, eye nipping,

wrinkle smoothing. Consider this list of names: Churchill, Tutu, Lombardi,

Einstein, Schwarzkopf, Pope John Paul II. Not a liposucker among them.

Cautionary Thought: Try small changes before you blow up your life. It could be

that to find happiness, you'll have to move to Montana, become polygamous, and

start tagging wolves. But more likely, nothing so drastic will be required.

After all, if your house needs a coat of paint, you don't tear it down and start

from scratch. So your first self-seeking step shouldn't be to quit your job and

blow your nest egg on berets, smocks, and easels.

Take baby self-steps first. Spend a Saturday working on the seascape that's been

calling you for years. See where it leads. Sometimes little fixes can mean a

lot. It's important to resist the inclination to just bug out, says Brim. "It

can be a useful illusion, a daydream to carry one through, but it doesn't solve

the problem."

4. Dance with Darth Vader, Turn Into a Soul Man

The move to selfhood requires a genuflection in the direction of our dark sides,

all of our most severe secrets. Enough of this prissy Pollyanna pose. You've got

to cop to the hurtful stuff, both the pain you've endured and the pain you've

caused.

Maybe your old man didn't give a ###### about you, diminished you daily with that

deadly glance. Maybe you've done the same to your boy. Maybe you wasted your

youth in a stupid job or married the wrong girl or betrayed your brother. Maybe

you're not real bright or brave or blessed. Whatever your confession, make it.

Swallow what's bitter in the cup, and move ahead bearing all the burdens that

are yours.

Our wounds are our uniqueness. Remember Tolstoy's wisdom that "all happy

families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own

way." The psychotherapist Thomas Moore argues in his book Care of the Soul,

"Soul power may emerge from failure, depression, and loss." To deny our dark

feelings is to cut ourselves off from what he calls "the gifts of depression."

He's not recommending the pall of diagnosable depression but simply saying that

a Rotarian, sunny-side-up persona is false and traps us in a limiting innocence.

"The sadness of growing old is part of becoming an individual," he writes.

"Melancholy thoughts carve out an interior space where wisdom can take up

residence."

Gail Sheehy puts it this way in her best-selling book New Passages: "The spirit

finds an opening in the brokenness."

5. Express Yourself, Anger and All

Nobody is suggesting that every hostile thought should get fired across the port

bow. We've got to live together. But part of becoming a fully grown man is

saying what's on your mind, respectfully, without rancor, straight up, no ice.

It may not be a good idea to be completely honest with your boss; the phrase

"odious autocrat" can be a bad career move. Ditto "spineless sea slug" and

"obese cuckold." But when the mortgage payment isn't at risk, it might help to

be ever-so-slightly less eager to please. Speak your piece. Forgo an excess of

politeness. Conflict is rarely catastrophic; it's just the sound of life

happening.

6. Become a Girlie Man

Listen for a second. No need to develop an obsession with shoes, but take a

second look at some virtues normally associated with our mothers, sisters, and

wives. It's a psycho-truism that, as we age, women and men get more like each

other. They get more assertive; we get more interested in relationships. Pardon

the expression, but go with that flow.

Start to move from conquesting to caretaking. Consider Thoreau's wimpy wisdom:

"The weapons with which we have gained our most important victories, which

should be handed down as heirlooms from father to son, are not the sword and the

lance, but the bushwhack, the turf cutter, the spade, and the bog hoe." Slowly

segue from hunter to farmer. Practice husbandry.

Encouraging Thought: Sadat and Begin got to Camp David. In youth, Anwar and

Menachem were fighters, sworn ancestral enemies, fierce on behalf of their

cause. And yet when their arcs ended on the White House lawn with a handshake

and an olive branch replacing an Uzi, nobody questioned their cojones. Aspire to

make the transition from warrior to wise man.

Psychotherapist Erikson suggests that middle-aged men aspire to "generativity,"

meaning they should find ways to be of use to the next generation. But it can

work in the other direction, too. Start to see your mother and father as the old

and vulnerable people they are. Step up, pally boy. You're a grown man.

7. Leave a Legacy

At middle age, we start to think about our legacy. A fellow wants to leave a

footprint or two on the beach. A good-natured child is a legacy. So is a

multinational company or the O'Neill Center for Public Policy and Baseball

Studies at Yale. But legacies don't have to be carved in granite or traded on

the big board. At midlife, it helps to start working on what you'll leave

behind.

Get started on that novel. You're no wordsmith? Okay, build that deck off the

kitchen. You're all thumbs? Okay, fire the guy who blows the leaves around and

do it yourself. Apply your effort, your muscles, your sweat, not just your

money, to your home's care. Anything you do to resist the Second Law of

Thermodynamics -- the one that says things tend to fall apart -- is an assertion

of your presence on this earth and so, self-celebrating. A well-tended house is

a legacy.

So is a story your children pass on to your grandchildren. The key, wrote Ernest

Becker in the landmark book The Denial of Death, "is to fashion something -- an

object or ourselves -- and drop it into the confusion, make an offering, so to

speak, to the life force."

8. Throw Out the Map

Men take flak for being goal-oriented. You've probably heard that we should

enjoy the journey (foreplay) more and stop focusing so much on the destination

(hallelujah). Best defense: If Lewis and Clark hadn't had a goal, the French

would own Vegas. Still, the charge is not without merit. We do tend to barrel by

some scenic overlooks that would be worth a glimpse.

Don't be so straight ahead, so sure you know where you're going. Be like

free-market capitalists, pro-growth but not determined to grow in any particular

direction. Sheehy cites the Chinese notion that a mature person is a ball,

rolling with life's ups and downs but always centered unto itself. Levinson

argues that it's continuing evolution, and "not the attainment of any particular

final state," that is "the essence of human development." Jung used the image of

the tree, growing around rocks and purposelessly up toward the sun, to describe

this open-minded growth.

9. Stop Making Sense

We're a cause-effect bunch of guys. We like things that make sense. If the

Lakers have 97 and the Bucks 96, Lakers win. Rules are clear. But the fact is,

if we're ever going to fully appreciate this trip called being human, we're

going to have to learn to swim around in more ambiguous waters. If we constantly

cut to the chase, are always bottom-lining everything, we're going to miss some

intriguing steps along the way.

Don't get flummoxed by illogical things or expect people to make sense. Love and

hate make no sense. Why should the stuff in between? The young man is undone by

uncertainty; the middle-aged sage is not. He savors the oddness of other humans.

Don't be so sure that the Western, Aristotelian, mechanistic rendition of

reality tells you all you need to know.

10. Seek Sensuality

Nope, sorry, this is not permission to act on those frisky feelings about Fiona

from finance; just a reminder that the routinization of life saps our energy.

Jolt yourself awake with jaunts off the tracks. Seek new textures, tastes. Try

new foods (enough with the chili -- eat a kiwi, or something from Africa). Try

reading a book, maybe two, maybe even one written by a woman. Or better yet, by

a Latina woman. Get respectful of legends in areas other than sports, war, and

money. You're bored because you haven't learned anything new since the Ayatollah

put the kibosh on Carter.

Take up a new sport. (If it's whitewater kayaking, try a sit-on-top first, and

get a good helmet.) Any new skill or competence -- cooking, gardening,

carpentry, car care, golf, guitar, or origami -- makes the spirit more

receptive. Get outside. Fluorescent light is stealing your spunk. Walk in the

woods or even down your street at dusk or dawn. There is consolation in nature,

inspiration in oblique angles of light.

Bad Idea #2: Don't throw money at midlife. The Ferrari won't help. Nor will that

titanium driver with the huge sweet spot. There's no talismanic cure. "We deny

our own sense of failure," says Levinson, "by using narcissistic pleasures as a

device for reassurance." Put away the credit card; it'll just add double-digit

interest rates to the other stressors. The only answer, wrote Jung, is to turn

directly toward the approaching darkness and "find out what it wants from you."