What Are Her Options?

[ThaiPauly]

At immigration yesterday we bumped into a girl who lives on our Moo Baan who was there with her 3 year old daughter.

She had a long conversation with my Wife and it would appear that her Husband (Farang 30 years her senior and as fat as a Cow) has left her and is living in a Condominuium in town with another Thai Girl.

He has not given her any money in 3 months, did not even send his daughter a birthday card She is such a sweet little girl and certainly does not deserve this.

It turns out that both the house and car are in finance...and he is now saying that as he has now financed his new "Love Nest" there will be no more payments made on the house or Car

She went to immigration to report him, but they said there was nothing they could do even though he was beating on her before he left!!...in front of his daughter.

They told her to get a Lawyer, she says she cannot afford one.

It's only going to be a matter of time before she is turned out on the street with her child

What are Lady's options?

Anyone any ideas.......but I know what MY OPTIONS will be if I ever see the old fat git in town

[fxm88]

What are Lady's options?

Send the kid to live with her folks upcountry, and go back to work at her bar?

[udon]

What are Lady's options?

Send the kid to live with her folks upcountry, and go back to work at her bar?

What bar?

Sounds like you know the lady.

[Nam Kao]

Hold on ThaiPaully, get both sides of the story before you start swinging

But if true this is really bad!!!

[My Friend Same]

There are 2 sides to every story. sounds like Thai Pauly has fallen for one side hook, line and sinker. lol

[alexth]

There are 2 sides to every story. sounds like Thai Pauly has fallen for one side hook, line and sinker. lol

Looks like you know a lot about Thailand...great starting posts though

[LaoPo]

I simply couldn't believe my eyes when I read some of the comments to the OP's story!

...talking about stupid and simple minds out there without any feelings or compassion.

Get back under your rocks

LaoPo

[udon]

My Friend Same:

Newbie........ I don't think so.

TP, just ignore the <deleted>.

Was/is the lass legally married to Fatso?

[pap]

At immigration yesterday we bumped into a girl who lives on our Moo Baan who was there with her 3 year old daughter.

She had a long conversation with my Wife and it would appear that her Husband (Farang 30 years her senior and as fat as a Cow) has left her and is living in a Condominuium in town with another Thai Girl.

He has not given her any money in 3 months, did not even send his daughter a birthday card She is such a sweet little girl and certainly does not deserve this.

It turns out that both the house and car are in finance...and he is now saying that as he has now financed his new "Love Nest" there will be no more payments made on the house or Car

She went to immigration to report him, but they said there was nothing they could do even though he was beating on her before he left!!...in front of his daughter.

They told her to get a Lawyer, she says she cannot afford one.

It's only going to be a matter of time before she is turned out on the street with her child

What are Lady's options?

Anyone any ideas.......but I know what MY OPTIONS will be if I ever see the old fat git in town

Sell the car and house and hope it covers the debt with a bit to spare. If she has brothers and is telling the truth this guy has erred in a big way. Not just from the perspective of being a decent human being but in a self preservation context as well. If your a bad person Karma can be a bad thing.

[My Friend Same]

I just think that 2 sides need to be heard be4 rushing to judgement

[ThaiPauly]

My Friend Same:

Newbie........ I don't think so.

TP, just ignore the <deleted>.

Was/is the lass legally married to Fatso?

Yes Udon they are legally married.

Yes I am ignoring the <deleted> too, I have been around too long to let them get up my nose.

however I appreciate there are 2 sides to every story, but even if it was uttur bullsh*t , he has definatley abandoned his 3 year old daughter

He is not German...but close

[Gary A]

Two sides to the story or not, common decency demands that he support his daughter. IF it is not his daughter that would be the only "other" side of the story that would be important.

[kmart]

If that is 100% true it is utterly dispicable.

But I'd forego any fisticuffs, as its not really your job.

Doubtless karma will catch up with this guy, maybe before or after his wife's male relatives have caught up with him.

[Jamie]

I am not sure what the laws are where this guy is from, but since he is a farng I am going to assume he is a westerner, and I'll also assume that there are child support laws in place (correct me if I am wrong) from his country of origin. It would be nice to know where this guy is working or where he is getting his money from (pension?). Couldn't she contact the child support agency from where this man originates to have his checks garnished? I don't think it matters if he is living in Thailand, if his money is originating from his country of origin and she can show them that he has a daughter he is not taking care of, then perhaps something can be done there.

Long shot, but maybe something there.

I'm thinking the child is better off without this guy around. I just hope she doesn't have to suffer on account of him.

Jamie

[pnustedt]

Get her to see a lawyer. If the case is as straightforward as it seems here a Thai lawyer would probably take it on with the commitment to pay him from the proceeds of any action.

[chingching]

To the OP: since u seem to have some personal interest in this, why don't u hire the lawyer for her. It won't cost u much, and if she is able to keep house and car, then u can charge her some "rent" to pay u back for cost of lawyer.

If not, u have done yr good deed for the year.

[Khutan]

...and as fat as a Cow....

I don't understand what his weight has to do with this.

Send the kid to live with her folks upcountry, and go back to work at her bar?

That is uncalled for and only demonstrates your ignorance.

....Doubtless karma will catch up with this guy....

Probably yes

Get her to see a lawyer. If the case is as straightforward as it seems here a Thai lawyer would probably take it on with the commitment to pay him from the proceeds of any action.

That is probably the best advice.

[chuchok]

What are Lady's options?

Send the kid to live with her folks upcountry, and go back to work at her bar?

What an idiot.

[Mobi]

I'm surprised no one has suggested that she go to the local police and report him for beating her - especially if she has witnesses. If nothing else, this might bring him to the negotiating table, and even our corrupt bib are certainly going to take the lady's side on this, especially if she finds some 'Puyai" to go with her to add credence.

There are the equivalent of "pro bono" lawyers who will take on this sort of case in BKK. According to my wife they are very good and conscientious - they have some tie up with ITV. If you need a number, let me know.

Edited October 14, 2006 by Mobi D'Ark

[bkkmadness]

I'm sorry ThaiPauly, but I think you do need to verfity the other side of the story first before taking sides. Is all the information in your OP gathered from just talking to this lady? Are you sure there's been no drastic turn of events recently that has caused the guy to leave her, another guy on the side? maybe the he just found out the kid isn't his after all? Maybe it's all 100% true, but you do need to verify some facts first.

I think considering she says there has been physical violence then Mobi's advice should be followed. You can help her take care of this thing through the proper channels, but don't take action into your own hands

[eljeque]

At immigration yesterday we bumped into a girl who lives on our Moo Baan who was there with her 3 year old daughter.

She had a long conversation with my Wife and it would appear that her Husband (Farang 30 years her senior and as fat as a Cow) has left her and is living in a Condominuium in town with another Thai Girl.

He has not given her any money in 3 months, did not even send his daughter a birthday card She is such a sweet little girl and certainly does not deserve this.

It turns out that both the house and car are in finance...and he is now saying that as he has now financed his new "Love Nest" there will be no more payments made on the house or Car

She went to immigration to report him, but they said there was nothing they could do even though he was beating on her before he left!!...in front of his daughter.

They told her to get a Lawyer, she says she cannot afford one.

It's only going to be a matter of time before she is turned out on the street with her child

What are Lady's options?

Anyone any ideas.......but I know what MY OPTIONS will be if I ever see the old fat git in town

Some general questions. These are not meant to be accusing anyone of anything.

Are they legally married?

How long had they been maried?

Did you see the kid, how did he/she look? Was the child hers before the marriage, by him or by someone else, Thai or foreign?

Although he has not given any money in three months, did he give her a lump sum in parting?

If you are looking to help, find out about the car financing. Remember, when a car is financed, all of the interest is tacked on in the front AND interest is determined based on the loan value x months x rate. A funny system they have here. I wonder how they teach it in finance school. She if the company will take the car back. I doubt it can be slod for the balance including interest. She might also be able to find a foreigner to buy the car on payments from her and get a small down payment. She can have the buyer make the payments directly to the finance company.

On the house. It is financed in her name. Can she rent it out and use the rent to pay the mortgage? If it was his before, it migh be farang style, and she may be able to find a foreigner to rent it. She cannot sell it over time as it does not belong to her. Banks will not act like the finance company that I mentioned above.

She should have a copy of his passort, or if they are married, she would be able to get one. I know this is a long shot, but she can try going to the man's embassy and asking what the requirements are for pushing for child care. If he is from country "K," then country K more than likely has a K-Thai Women's Association in Bangkok where she can call or write for ideas. Long shots might not work, but they can scare him into being responsible.... if he is guilty of anything.

Thai Karma is certainly fast, but it is very inaccurate, misfires, backfires, and often blows up in one's face.

[Tywais]

I'm surprised no one has suggested that she go to the local police and report him for beating her - especially if she has witnesses.

Unfortunately the police will usually not get involved in domestic situations unless extreme violence or death occurs. I've witnessed it myself and they will say 'nothing they can do'. Doesn't make sense to me.

There is the Pavena Foundation that I have prevailed upon in the past and they are the perfect NGO to help in this matter. http://www.pavena.thai.com/emain.html

[swissie]

Ever since I read the opening comment, I have been crying in my pretzels. How thouching!

- What about the hundreds of Frarangs that get "duped" every month by their Thai GF/Wifes??

eeeeh......!

[chuchok]

Ever since I read the opening comment, I have been crying in my pretzels. How thouching!

- What about the hundreds of Frarangs that get "duped" every month by their Thai GF/Wifes??

eeeeh......!

Well I certainly hope that your wee pretzels don't get too soggy.

I suppose you also think that two wrongs make a right?

some people....

[soic]

Ever since I read the opening comment, I have been crying in my pretzels. How thouching!

- What about the hundreds of Frarangs that get "duped" every month by their Thai GF/Wifes??

eeeeh......!

so in your mind that makes it right? Wow! So I'm guessing that everytime a Swiss person gets robbed, you cheer too, I mean look at all the millions the Swiss hid from world that belonged to the Holocaust victims. Jeez! What a crock! Each incident should be measured on it's own merits... every innocent victim doesn't deserve to be hammered with the guilt of others. It's the same for everyone...

As for the idiot that abandoned his child, if it's proven that he did abandon them like that, he needs to learn the err in his ways. that's the kind of crap that usually gets me in trouble. I realize that there are two sides to every story as well, but any dirtbag that would abandon his child deserves to have his breeding equipment removed or at least adjusted to the point of non-functionality.

[dgoz]

Actually, there are 3 sides to a story like this. The womens side, the mans side and then there's the truth.

And yeah, what has his weight got to do with it? If he was thin would his actions be OK.

And what about the millions of Thai guys who beat their wives and then leave them without a cent?

Are you going to sort them out as well?

I'd like to see you or any other doo-gooder stranger get involved with one of my failed relationships.

[Dragonman]

A couple of legal pointers, but of course as others have said a lawyer is best way forward. Unless he is open to negotiations Juvenile and Family Court seem best process.

Thailand has no "reciprocity agreements" on child support and hence suggestions regarding his Embassy, etc. are out. Besides they only take claims from citizens.

Does she definitely want a divorce? If so there should not be too much problem on the grounds "he has taken another woman as his wife". Adultery is not grounds, loss of face due to the previous grounds is.

The settlement issued by the Judge takes into account past maintenance, which is required by law.

Recent Case Law now means that due to many people transferring assets into new girl friend's name, she also can be sued for maintenance!

[Maizefarmer]

If he is the biological father and he is in Thailand - he is legally liable for the child (i.e. maintenance)- period, end of subject, and it will be enforced with a vengance if the right case officer gets on it.

But mom has to go about things in the right way: it is not a police matter and it is not an Immigration matter - and untill such time as he is served with legal process and refuses to oblige , it is not a criminal matter.

Mom must get hold of the regional office of the Department of Public Welfare as a starting point - under which all matters relating to child welfare fall. I am sure she will find a feminist and nationalistic case officer who woul dlove to get her teeth into this - if only to make her case record load look a little bit more succesfull.

Tim

Edited October 14, 2006 by Maizefarmer

[swissie]

In addition to my comment above: Yes, the denial of fatherhood is something beyond comment.

BUT AGAIN, referring to the original "duping" scenario, and this only for "food of thought" and purely theorethical (because in real live, of course, this could never happen): A Thai/Farang relationship starts to go "sour" and the "Lady" starts to realize it and in the process starts flushing her birth-control tablets down the toilet?

The outcome? Should be fairly clear!

Remember: The subject of this thread is basically who is "duping" whom and for what reason and who has to gain in any sort of "duping" scenario. The Farang? Hardly, under any circumstances!

PS: Yes, I am still crying in my pretzels. But not because of the story itself. I am just amazed how many Farang "white knights" surface and rush to the defence of an average Thai Bar Lady that (in all likelyhood) has supplied ample reason to make the Farang walk out of this relationship.

Cheers.

[bkkmadness]

You really need to deal with your issues Swissie.