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Holiday reminder to jai yen yen, or: How I got smacked in the back of the head

fishbrando

By fishbrando
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fishbrando Senior Member

fishbrando

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I hope everyone is having a good holiday season; I certainly am.

The story I'm about to tell might put a damper on the holiday spirits but I think there's a good lesson to be learned from it.

-----

I was walking on the ground floor of Siam Paragon this evening; some of you are probably familiar with the fact that it is almost always crowded down there and doubly so during the holidays. I was on my way to get a salad from the grocery store.

Now I should preface the story with the following: I come from a city with fast-walking pedestrians and everyone there is pretty good about either moving forward or staying out of the way. Sometimes I can get pretty frustrated here with the slow-walkers and the people who plant themselves in the middle of a busy walkway. My favorites are the "Crazy Ivans" or the people who do a sudden 180 and walk right into you. Anyway, I admit that sometimes I am fairly aggressive in working my way through a crowd; this is a known character flaw that I'm working on. In summary, I can be a bit of a jerk when trying to walk from point A to point B.

This evening was especially trying as there were many groups of travelers slowly wandering about, so I was squeezing past people in frustration. I wasn't in a huge rush so there was no reason I couldn't have been more patient. I finally made it past the worst of the crowds and was headed into the store when suddenly I felt something smack me hard in the back of the head. I turned around and it was clear who the culprit was: a tall stocky man with a backpack was jogging away from me and everyone was staring at him. I had zero recollection of this guy.

So I jogged after him and caught up with him near the down escalator, at which point he saw me. He turned around and grabbed my arms and started swearing at me, and I said, "What the hell are you doing?" He said, "You hit me first, so I hit you back!" He started pulling and shoving me towards the down escalator; I feared that he was going to try to throw me downstairs. I work out regularly but he had about 10cm and 20kg on me; still I was able to resist him and I felt like he would have a hard time overpowering me.

I then said, "No I never hit you." He seemed taken aback and said, "Really?" I said, "Really, I didn't hit you, not on purpose anyway." Then he said, "OK, then I didn't hit you, we're even!" and started walking away. I followed him again and after a few steps he turned back and came at me. At that point, a crowd had gathered around us, and a few security guards showed up and put themselves between us. He said something like, "Why did you hit me? Don't you know who I am??" So I took out my phone and pointed the camera at him. He said, "Oh, you're going to take a photo?" I took a photo and put the phone in my pocket. He then came at me, saying, "I'm going to take <deleted> your phone!" I jumped back a bit but the security guards stopped him. He then made an angry face and flipped me off; I raised my eyebrows and turned my nose up slightly, and we walked away.

As I was getting my salad a few minutes later, I was still in fight-or-flight mode; my heart was pumping and I was trying to calm myself down. I thought about his statement, "Do you know who I am?" and started getting a bit paranoid. Is he some sort of gangster? Was he going to wait outside for me with his buddies? Was he going to try to follow me home? All these are unlikely scenarios but they were all flashing through my head during my hyper-awareness.

-----

Later, when I arrived at home (after admittedly looking over my shoulder a bit), I reflected on the events that happened. As angry as I was at the guy, I was also thankful that the incident was a reminder for me to be a bit more polite and patient when working my way through a crowd. I can certainly do with a bit more calm and a bit more Thai-style jai yen yen and mai pen rai as I go from point A to point B. It reminded me of some of the bitter foreigners that I've run into, such as one who shoved me through the BTS entry gate when I was having trouble with my card, and another who kicked me as I squeezed past him on the stairs, and I don't want to end up like these guys.

A message to the guy, if he happens to be reading: if I accidentally hard-checked you while trying to get past you, I apologize and meant no disrespect. I honestly don't recall bumping into anyone that hard. However, that is no excuse for slapping someone on the back of the head and then running off like a coward. Next time, let's calmly discuss the issue like men rather than fighting like boys.

And a message to all: I humbly suggest not letting the holiday crowds get to you like I did. There are going to be plenty of travelers and huge crowds in the city, and IMHO the best way to deal with it is to stay calm and be a bit more patient, and to share a bit of holiday spirit with the strangers around you.

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JHolmesJr Gold Member

JHolmesJr

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If it didn't hurt, i probably wouldn't have bothered confronting the guy….and just carried on….shit happens.

But when you walk up to a guy, you have to be ready to tango….and if he pulls a knife and takes out your spleen, it will all have been because of a harmless smack in the head.

Perspective.

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fishbrando Senior Member

fishbrando

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Have you tried anger management courses ?

There are two sides to every story.

Certainly. I am just a random guy on the internet and could be lying about the whole thing. I don't think the story makes me look like an angel or anything, though. I fully admit that I could have been more polite in working my way through the crowd. OTOH, it wasn't like I was punching and kicking my way through.

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FritsSikkink Diamond Member

FritsSikkink

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Posted

I hope everyone is having a good holiday season; I certainly am.

The story I'm about to tell might put a damper on the holiday spirits but I think there's a good lesson to be learned from it.

-----

I was walking on the ground floor of Siam Paragon this evening; some of you are probably familiar with the fact that it is almost always crowded down there and doubly so during the holidays. I was on my way to get a salad from the grocery store.

Now I should preface the story with the following: I come from a city with fast-walking pedestrians and everyone there is pretty good about either moving forward or staying out of the way. Sometimes I can get pretty frustrated here with the slow-walkers and the people who plant themselves in the middle of a busy walkway. My favorites are the "Crazy Ivans" or the people who do a sudden 180 and walk right into you. Anyway, I admit that sometimes I am fairly aggressive in working my way through a crowd; this is a known character flaw that I'm working on. In summary, I can be a bit of a jerk when trying to walk from point A to point B.

This evening was especially trying as there were many groups of travelers slowly wandering about, so I was squeezing past people in frustration. I wasn't in a huge rush so there was no reason I couldn't have been more patient. I finally made it past the worst of the crowds and was headed into the store when suddenly I felt something smack me hard in the back of the head. I turned around and it was clear who the culprit was: a tall stocky man with a backpack was jogging away from me and everyone was staring at him. I had zero recollection of this guy.

So I jogged after him and caught up with him near the down escalator, at which point he saw me. He turned around and grabbed my arms and started swearing at me, and I said, "What the hell are you doing?" He said, "You hit me first, so I hit you back!" He started pulling and shoving me towards the down escalator; I feared that he was going to try to throw me downstairs. I work out regularly but he had about 10cm and 20kg on me; still I was able to resist him and I felt like he would have a hard time overpowering me.

I then said, "No I never hit you." He seemed taken aback and said, "Really?" I said, "Really, I didn't hit you, not on purpose anyway." Then he said, "OK, then I didn't hit you, we're even!" and started walking away. I followed him again and after a few steps he turned back and came at me. At that point, a crowd had gathered around us, and a few security guards showed up and put themselves between us. He said something like, "Why did you hit me? Don't you know who I am??" So I took out my phone and pointed the camera at him. He said, "Oh, you're going to take a photo?" I took a photo and put the phone in my pocket. He then came at me, saying, "I'm going to take <deleted> your phone!" I jumped back a bit but the security guards stopped him. He then made an angry face and flipped me off; I raised my eyebrows and turned my nose up slightly, and we walked away.

As I was getting my salad a few minutes later, I was still in fight-or-flight mode; my heart was pumping and I was trying to calm myself down. I thought about his statement, "Do you know who I am?" and started getting a bit paranoid. Is he some sort of gangster? Was he going to wait outside for me with his buddies? Was he going to try to follow me home? All these are unlikely scenarios but they were all flashing through my head during my hyper-awareness.

-----

Later, when I arrived at home (after admittedly looking over my shoulder a bit), I reflected on the events that happened. As angry as I was at the guy, I was also thankful that the incident was a reminder for me to be a bit more polite and patient when working my way through a crowd. I can certainly do with a bit more calm and a bit more Thai-style jai yen yen and mai pen rai as I go from point A to point B. It reminded me of some of the bitter foreigners that I've run into, such as one who shoved me through the BTS entry gate when I was having trouble with my card, and another who kicked me as I squeezed past him on the stairs, and I don't want to end up like these guys.

A message to the guy, if he happens to be reading: if I accidentally hard-checked you while trying to get past you, I apologize and meant no disrespect. I honestly don't recall bumping into anyone that hard. However, that is no excuse for slapping someone on the back of the head and then running off like a coward. Next time, let's calmly discuss the issue like men rather than fighting like boys.

And a message to all: I humbly suggest not letting the holiday crowds get to you like I did. There are going to be plenty of travelers and huge crowds in the city, and IMHO the best way to deal with it is to stay calm and be a bit more patient, and to share a bit of holiday spirit with the strangers around you.

so you act like an idiot by pushing everyone and got slapped once. be prepared to get loads more and possibly worse.

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fishbrando Senior Member

fishbrando

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If it didn't hurt, i probably wouldn't have bothered confronting the guy….and just carried on….shit happens.

But when you walk up to a guy, you have to be ready to tango….and if he pulls a knife and takes out your spleen, it will all have been because of a harmless smack in the head.

Perspective.

Very good viewpoint. The smack hurt a bit but was more shocking than painful. Certainly not worth getting knifed or shot.

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fey Advanced Member

fey

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Thats a pretty serious slap if he was buddhist.

My guess is he was japanese.

Have been having more and more problems with japanese men in bkk.

Usually involves staring, and passive-aggressive type stuff like snickering. I almost told one i was going to stick my foot in his arse on the bts because he kept staring at my feet and laughing about my shoe size (49 eu). These guys can be really annoying.

My preferred manner of removing some of these dudes from the equation is to stick my foot between their legs while they are in a rush walking and watching them stumble, then just playing dumb.

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FritsSikkink Diamond Member

FritsSikkink

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Thats a pretty serious slap if he was buddhist.

My guess is he was japanese.

Have been having more and more problems with japanese men in bkk.

Usually involves staring, and passive-aggressive type stuff like snickering. I almost told one i was going to stick my foot in his arse on the bts because he kept staring at my feet and laughing about my shoe size (49 eu). These guys can be really annoying.

My preferred manner of removing some of these dudes from the equation is to stick my foot between their legs while they are in a rush walking and watching them stumble, then just playing dumb.

you need to see a docter
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MrTee Silver Member

MrTee

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Posted (edited)

Sometimes we all get wrapped up in our own little worlds. all that matters is our "mission" whether that be buying a salad or going to meet your buddies.

It's probably a good thing that you recognise your behaviour may cause others to react in a way that could end up in poor outcome. I'm sure the other chap has had time to recognise his own poor behaviour too..

In an ever more crowded world we need to show more tolerance to each other. I get hacked off with slow movers too.. even when not in a hurry I like to move swiftly. I've even been admonished by my own friends for being bolshie when moving through crowds ALA Richard Ashcroft.. I do try to be more passive now..


well done for seeing it for what it was and accepting that perhaps you could do better, as we all could.

More Jai Yen Yen less it's all about me.


Seasons Greeting to all readers.

Edited by MrTee
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