Am I being a dick to my thai gf?

[Dan747]

"YES"

[AdamRich]

I say dump her and get a chick who understands that you will stay at your ex girlfriend's crib for a couple of weeks. You are right about not getting married until she can visit your country and experience your culture and meet your family. I had the same stipulations for an ex-girlfriend in Colombia. She thought it better for all of my family members to go to Colombia instead. Duhh. Kind of defeats the purpose. These days I think why get married at all? What benefit will you get out of marrying her?

[Dumbastheycome]

Here I am thinking " so regularly goes stateside, and amongst other places stays with sister ex girlfriend.......hmmmm. But the Thai gf does not get to go with ?

Ah well.

But for the skinyks.......Been married to a Thai wife for 15 years with 19 years age difference.

[djlest]

Lesson learned! Never tell a Thai woman the truth, they are not evolved or emotionally mature enough to handle it... Seriously, learn to lie if you ever want a Thai relationship.
However, eventually those lies will catch up to you... your 9 lives will run out... basically having a Thai girlfriend drags you down eventually in the evolutionary ladder we are so used to in the West.
Being OPEN doesnt work here... they dont get it...

[MyFriend You]

Don't care but you should know that.

Your sister/ex girlfriend of more than 15 years will always be there when your actual girlfriend is long gone.

..........after the TGF has cleaned him out of course, he would deserve it in her eyes. Be careful of the "Pea Chai" that comes around from time to time.

[ableguy]

@jimbo she asked me the same thing...the thing is if her ex is from a decade and a half ago and has been her family brother and has moved on through many girlfriends and was in a current 4 year relationship with his gf...no. not really. I trust her and i get the traveling lifestyle. I'm not a jealous type sorry....we my gf and I, have been together a year.

My ex has been more of my sister for the 18 YEARS i have known her.

Get real man , your gf is twenty three, you want a partner who understands go find someone your own age.

Your immature and it shows in your post.

[MyFriend You]

If you had true feelings for your girlfriend you would not consider staying with your ex.

full stop period

Rubbish,so your gf/wife vets your friends does she,doesn't matter if they are female.If that's the case you might as well hand your gonads over right now.

Hmmmmm what is that saying the TG's always seem to say, somthing about "feeding the ducks a piece of your anatomy?? " You can be the biggest baddest Leroy Brown in the City, but there is nothing more dangerous that an 80lb Thai Girl that thinks you are a butterfly. Be afraid, be very afraid.

[moto77]

Yes, sorry, but you shouldn't be doing this and I have a similar situation with my ex (who is also remarried).

Honestly, I think the new gf would be a sport if she was even willing to stay at the ex's house WITH you. For you to stay alone is too much to ask of anyone.

I can't imagine anyone giving you a different answer.

Edited January 25, 2016 by moto77

[moto77]

Many Thai women would get jealous - not by you staying with an exGF, they get pissed at the amount of money she thinks you might be spending on another women - other than her.

Even if it's nothing... They will just assume you are..

Anyway if she has an issue with it or not.. Some Thai women believe having sex with a Thai guy or making a few extra bucks with a customer is OK, while their farang bf(s) or sponser(s) are off staying with their exGF or family member back in the States..

When you call her and she doesn't answer - think the worse.. If she answers the phone - doesn't matter! Think the worst..

You're not being a dick to your Thai gf... She could careless about you.. It's all about the money.

And you should stop dating hookers.

[Matej]

Here I am thinking " so regularly goes stateside, and amongst other places stays with sister ex girlfriend.......hmmmm. But the Thai gf does not get to go with ?

Ah well.

But for the skinyks.......Been married to a Thai wife for 15 years with 19 years age difference.

you lucky bastard!

[Matej]

Many Thai women would get jealous - not by you staying with an exGF, they get pissed at the amount of money she thinks you might be spending on another women - other than her.

Even if it's nothing... They will just assume you are..

Anyway if she has an issue with it or not.. Some Thai women believe having sex with a Thai guy or making a few extra bucks with a customer is OK, while their farang bf(s) or sponser(s) are off staying with their exGF or family member back in the States..

When you call her and she doesn't answer - think the worse.. If she answers the phone - doesn't matter! Think the worst..

You're not being a dick to your Thai gf... She could careless about you.. It's all about the money.

And you should stop dating hookers.

and whores, spoiled Facebook girls, kids trapped in adults' bodies ... too

Edited January 25, 2016 by Matej

[torpedo1970]

[bangkapi]

Yes you are.

[ThaiTony2]

You do not understand her.

It is a big deal to her but you won't accept what she's saying and you won't accept the Thai way.

I personally don't know of any Thai woman that would smile and accept it in their heart as being happy to hear about this ex.

But maybe you cannot understand that.

You also seem quite selfish by spending that much time away from your love when you're visiting the USA.

It may be that she isn't feeling very confident with your relationship with you being gone so long and then hearing about you staying with an ex. And then to top it off, you rub in her face that you won't marry her until...

Give us a break!

[ThaiTony2]

You need more understanding.

Edited January 25, 2016 by ThaiTony2

[mrfaroukh]

I guess even if you feel as if your ex is like your sister, I am sure you and her still feel something when near each other which is not like sister and brother. That is what your Thai girl friend is pissed about and probably she knows what is happening between the ex 's .

And answer to your question is YES

[AlexRRR]

You know, I always roll eyes when the argument of maturity comes up.

Supposedly this 40 year old guy is so mature that he decided to blabber about staying in his ex gf 1.2 mil condo and is also so mature when it comes to understanding other people's feelings. Frankly, I find his post revolting.

Didn't most come here because of supposed "bad" Western women?

I had a few where they were playing me for a fool precisely like the OP. They were "oh, so more mature than me" and I wasn't supposed to be jealous when they were going out with their "friends" or getting drunk and who knows what.

No, op.... you are wrong. If nothing you should be mature enough to respect her feelings. I don't know this 23 year old, but rest assured that even she is is the most perfect, honest Thai girl she has a lot more friends than you and she is communicating with them about your less than stellar performance. They are already plotting for her and you are not aware of a single thing.

Man up and please drop this bs excuse "I am not a jealous type". I have dumped women over that statement because not everyone is like you. Infact, I find the whole statement stinks of hypocrisy as chances are you would be very jealous if she did the same to you. "Oh.... I'm going to see my hiso ex-bf and stay a few nights at his place... don't worry he my brother too". Just imagine the 100 page thread on this very forum.

Come on!

I am with the op on this one.I am not the jealous type either and would just move on if she found another,but she wont because i am honest and she finally trusts me.What do you mean man up,he has by not telling little white lies like a lot of blokes.Hell to pay when they catch you out,but ok when they check around and catch you out telling the truth.Your fantasy are getting in the way of real life.

Since when do Thai women play by your set of rules, I've enough experience to know sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut, a jealous woman became jealous because she's insecure, anyway you look at it it's still the same, it's just not the done thing, on the other hand if your still flying solo who cares.

[mercman24]

agree, thai girls are very jealous, (got to be the money) my lady goes off the other day in a taxi , ten minutes later i get a text, "what are you doing"? reply, watching the <deleted> tv like i was doing ten minutes ago when you left. lol

[bamukloy]

no worries on this one.....i think i was in my 30's when i realized 23 is way too young for a relationship. that was a few years ago, and now i think 28 is pretty young. probably under 31 or so is too young....anyhow, my point is this relationship won't last much longer so who cares.......it's your money. lie to her. tell her you are staying in a 200 USD a night place and now no gifts to her.....i'm being honest. this age gap has 5% of working......

I think many posters who claim to know Thai women have got it very wrong.

None of them are jealous of you, your handsomeness, babe pulling power etc

1.they are worried about what money you are spending period AND what money could of/should of gone into their pockets

2.not jealous of another girl per se but furious of the thought you are spending money on her instead.

3.if you spent 200 a night on accomations then she will be pissed.... get the drift?

[kinmaew]

She is right, people who want to stay in contact with their ex's are only trouble because they cant move on.

[jacko45k]

@jimbo she asked me the same thing...the thing is if her ex is from a decade and a half ago and has been her family brother and has moved on through many girlfriends and was in a current 4 year relationship with his gf...no. not really. I trust her and i get the traveling lifestyle. I'm not a jealous type sorry....we my gf and I, have been together a year.

My ex has been more of my sister for the 18 YEARS i have known her.

But she isn't like your sister unless you had a previous sexual relationship with her too.

I can understand a much younger girl feeling insecure about this.

Particularly a Thai woman, who sometimes I feel would prefer less painful lies.

I also think you leave your Thai lady alone for too long, a month at most is my thoughts.

Mine is somewhat older (I am older than you too), I only stay with old male friends all of whom she has met, I keep my trips under 4 weeks. While I am away she will see me and my old male friends via Skype, and she brings her mother over to keep her company.

I think most of the issue is the immaturity of your lady and some lack of consideration on your part.

Edited January 25, 2016 by jacko45k

[gemguy]

I can see where you are coming from OP. I am going back to aussie next month for my daughters wedding. Of course my ex wife of 6-7 years is going to be there. We are still friends for the sake of the kids. OMG the Thai missus is not too happy. But what can I do? Tell the daughter I will not be there. Taking my Thai missus is not an option. My daughter wants the day to obviously be about her wedding not other distractions. Also I have to sort out divorce papers and such with ex wife. I guess just have to cop the snide remarks and jealousy from thai missus and soon it will be over and we can be normal again. I guess I will have to take her there in a couple of months time and that will please her. Peace at any price as they say.

She will still be all distraught and jealous about your relationship with the Ex Wife.

In cases such as yours and the OP....your GF is a woman, obviously, while all women feel they are entitled to act Jealous as that is their female prerogative.

It is part of their defense mechanism while many of them actually believe that jealousy in a relationship is a significant means of displaying their supposed love and affection for you while really it is a means of establishing their "Turf"

Lesson learned is best not to tell her and if you do, then do not explain the details or as little as possible....as grief will surely come your way.

Silence is Golden....lol

Cheers

[sir charles IV]

no worries on this one.....i think i was in my 30's when i realized 23 is way too young for a relationship. that was a few years ago, and now i think 28 is pretty young. probably under 31 or so is too young....anyhow, my point is this relationship won't last much longer so who cares.......it's your money. lie to her. tell her you are staying in a 200 USD a night place and now no gifts to her.....i'm being honest. this age gap has 5% of working......

I think many posters who claim to know Thai women have got it very wrong.

None of them are jealous of you, your handsomeness, babe pulling power etc

1.they are worried about what money you are spending period AND what money could of/should of gone into their pockets

2.not jealous of another girl per se but furious of the thought you are spending money on her instead.

3.if you spent 200 a night on accomations then she will be pissed.... get the drift?

interesting and valid point which most have overlooked here. It is fair to say young Thai girls hooking up with much older farang do so mostly for financial reasons. Any $$ spent in her absence is seen by her as missed opportunity and a fear of losing you (and your/her future money) to someone else is what drives the so called jealousy. A half good looking 23 year old Thai girl will not have any issues finding a partner for romantic/relationship purposes but finding a young Thai man with financial security is difficult for them. The wealthy ones are often butterflies and dicks. This is where a much older farang comes in. That's why a lot of young Thai girls have Thai and farang partners at the same time. They're not as silly as some think. If the op thinks that she won't punish him for that he's in dream land (I think he's there mentally anyway). Gee don't Thai girls love revenge or what? I lost count on the stories I've heard where the girl sleeps with another guy just because she suspected her partner was cheating on her to piss him off.

[mihalis]

You have no idea ! Let your Thai gf stay with her ex, while your away in the USA.. Tell her she can..

[fireplay]

Hey to everyone again thanks for the sincere.hilarious. and

d!ckish replies...some are real gems. I just read 8 pages at once and will try to clarify some things as if it even matters...

1. We open cam every day. The issue hasn't been raised since the initial bomb drop. Her fb pic is still black...but its all kid thueng chan rak khun again...tears from missing me....

2. We met on thai friendly. We have lived together for 1 year. Her parents and family have no idea...but her mom i think is worried/suspicious she stays with me.

3. She wont come to the usa with me...not ready. I only met her mom and dad once. I made her get a passport...I want her to move with me to tokyo this june...and see the world with me...rent an ocean cottage in greece...apartment in madrid..few months here few months there....her mom won't let her meet me in Brazil in march for a maroon 5 concert (backstage my boy does sound for dashboard confessional. Opening act) so she says now as of today she is ok to go to America end of this year

4. I dont know what to say about the money thing. Yes i take care of her but to be honest I was thinking about starting a new thread about "the long game." My girl friend is not materialistic..at all..is not into fashion...and hates to spend money. I have offered her money since i left...she refuses. I even gave her a bank card copy (sans password ) so if she needs money she can dip in there and take it. She is all about saving money. She thinks a pair of shoes for 500 bht is pang mak...she likes to look at expensive things but she never wants to buy or me to buy. I paid the rent for the next four months gave her walk around cash and paid for graduation pics. She works her ass off for 300 bht a day at tesco lotus. She just got hired at a lab starting next month.

I dont want to be the "my gf is different!" Guy but seriously some of you are way off base. She wants to get a house and start a coffee shop...I'm not ready to invest in thailand until the gov improves...and then a condo..i am not a chiang rai country guy...

Anyways I don't know why i just shared all that...maybe to keep getting more feedback on it...sorry if its off topic... thanks again its lovely to see all you guys commenting here...whose posts i read all over this site daily.

[fireplay]

Oh and about her ex...she has one..they were bf gf for like 3 years...high school ...he apparently was attempting to swoon her back but she says not interested...

Edited January 26, 2016 by fireplay

[bamukloy]

no worries on this one.....i think i was in my 30's when i realized 23 is way too young for a relationship. that was a few years ago, and now i think 28 is pretty young. probably under 31 or so is too young....anyhow, my point is this relationship won't last much longer so who cares.......it's your money. lie to her. tell her you are staying in a 200 USD a night place and now no gifts to her.....i'm being honest. this age gap has 5% of working......

Very hard to get ones head around this. A young most probably quite attractive young girl..jealous of an old geezer.

just one of the aspects of life in LOS where eveything normal is upside down

Edited January 26, 2016 by bamukloy

[AlexRRR]

no worries on this one.....i think i was in my 30's when i realized 23 is way too young for a relationship. that was a few years ago, and now i think 28 is pretty young. probably under 31 or so is too young....anyhow, my point is this relationship won't last much longer so who cares.......it's your money. lie to her. tell her you are staying in a 200 USD a night place and now no gifts to her.....i'm being honest. this age gap has 5% of working......

I think many posters who claim to know Thai women have got it very wrong.

None of them are jealous of you, your handsomeness, babe pulling power etc

1.they are worried about what money you are spending period AND what money could of/should of gone into their pockets

2.not jealous of another girl per se but furious of the thought you are spending money on her instead.

3.if you spent 200 a night on accomations then she will be pissed.... get the drift?

nope don't get your drift and obviously you float close to the ground, we don't all hang around with the types of women you do.

[Hardie]

No, I don't think you're being a dick, but her reaction is certainly no surprise, and I wouldn't force it on her. Give her some time, if you really care about her, which poses the larger question: are you really ready for the long wait to her 'maturity', which may or may not ever come? Honesty doesn't always mean 'full disclosure', though, if it's not necessary, and could even be perceived as a form of aggression itself, regardless of your intent.

[AlexRRR]

Hey to everyone again thanks for the sincere.hilarious. and

d!ckish replies...some are real gems. I just read 8 pages at once and will try to clarify some things as if it even matters...

1. We open cam every day. The issue hasn't been raised since the initial bomb drop. Her fb pic is still black...but its all kid thueng chan rak khun again...tears from missing me....

2. We met on thai friendly. We have lived together for 1 year. Her parents and family have no idea...but her mom i think is worried/suspicious she stays with me.

3. She wont come to the usa with me...not ready. I only met her mom and dad once. I made her get a passport...I want her to move with me to tokyo this june...and see the world with me...rent an ocean cottage in greece...apartment in madrid..few months here few months there....her mom won't let her meet me in Brazil in march for a maroon 5 concert (backstage my boy does sound for dashboard confessional. Opening act) so she says now as of today she is ok to go to America end of this year

4. I dont know what to say about the money thing. Yes i take care of her but to be honest I was thinking about starting a new thread about "the long game." My girl friend is not materialistic..at all..is not into fashion...and hates to spend money. I have offered her money since i left...she refuses. I even gave her a bank card copy (sans password ) so if she needs money she can dip in there and take it. She is all about saving money. She thinks a pair of shoes for 500 bht is pang mak...she likes to look at expensive things but she never wants to buy or me to buy. I paid the rent for the next four months gave her walk around cash and paid for graduation pics. She works her ass off for 300 bht a day at tesco lotus. She just got hired at a lab starting next month.

I dont want to be the "my gf is different!" Guy but seriously some of you are way off base. She wants to get a house and start a coffee shop...I'm not ready to invest in thailand until the gov improves...and then a condo..i am not a chiang rai country guy...

Anyways I don't know why i just shared all that...maybe to keep getting more feedback on it...sorry if its off topic... thanks again its lovely to see all you guys commenting here...whose posts i read all over this site daily.

Its cool, lot of guys with the head permanently stuck between there legs in TV the forever pessimists, they haven't worked out you attract where your at in your head yet.

She sounds like a nice girl and theres plenty of them around if some of them bar hoppers spent more time trying to get to know real Thai's rather than the "tourist attraction types"