Is It Possible To Find True Love In Thailand?

MartinBKK · October 20, 2006

I've been in Thailand for almost 2 years and whilst i find Thai ladies extremely attractive i am becoming disillusioned with the attitude of many. Whilst I didn't come here to look for ladies im not getting any younger and id like to find a lady to settle down with and build a life together. However, a pretty face is not enough for me. Im looking for a soulmate. Someone i can relate to on every level. Someone i can talk to about current affairs, sports, travel or whatever it might be. From my experience thus far im not so sure that i see my long term future with a Thai lady any longer.

I have met all sorts of ladies since ive been here both educated and uneducated. Many work in bars, restaurants, supermarkets, hotels, banks or other financial companies. I have met university students and ladies who have travelled extensively outside Thailand. The message i am getting from all of them is quite clear.

"I want to marry a farang".

"Why only a farang" i ask.

"They take care very good".

OR

"They have more money".

Before i came to Thailand i believed in true love. Loving someone for who they are and not what they had. For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. When i looked at a potential partner the amount of money they made was honestly bottom of the list. Now i have a serious question. How many who have Thai wives honestly believe their wife would stay with them if they lost everything they had? How many of you met your wife before you became financially successful?

Im not even against the idea of financially taking care of someone if they are taking good care of me. I want them to enter the relationship for the right reasons though. A lot of people have told me that Thai ladies are really good at taking care of their husbands. They cook, clean and do everything in the home. They never lift a finger they say. I have to tell you that this is not my experience here in Bangkok. The majority are lazy and do not expect to do anything in the home.

Im slowly losing hope that i can find what im looking for in Thailand so im begging you Thai visa users. Can you help restore my faith in Thai women? Have you had a different experience to me? Im really interested to hear your views.

Casanundra · October 20, 2006

I have been married for 18 months to a nice Thai lady and she is always telling me that she found 'true love' with me

Money is never an issue either and I don't send anything to her parents nor do I support her other than what we do together as a married couple and that means collectively making things work out as any normal couple should

because I am her first love, given the choice of having me or the money I have tucked away in the bank somewhere she tells me she would choose me everytime as money cannot buy her love (or so she says)

I think what you term as 'true love' does exist but it depends on what she sees in you as a person. if the relationship starts off with money, status and material things then it will continue that way.

For me, when I first met the wife, I just told her that I was stone broke and couldn't afford much and she didn't care and stuck around anyway and since we have been married she hasn't demanded anything which means we are together for the right reasons. I also know plenty of girls like her who are not interested in the money side and just want a nice relationship with a guy who won't have several mia noi's or do the dirty on them. Of course you won't find many such girls in a bar here though and it's knowing where to look that makes the difference.

Edited October 20, 2006 by Casanundra

Barney_the_Dinosaur · October 20, 2006

my missus, notwithstanding her humble roots, didn't take long to learn about Chanel and LV bags and diamond grade quality.

meemiathai · October 20, 2006

How many who have Thai wives honestly believe their wife would stay with them if they lost everything they had?

My Thai wife will undoubtedly die for me at any point if you ask her. She is really scared of me dying earlier than she does coz noone will take care of her. Does she love me or herself more? Who cares?

How many of you met your wife before you became financially successful?

Still waiting for this day to come.

bina · October 20, 2006

really barney,

and can u prevent the man from using the brothel?

martin:

i have a friend whom has remarried with someone she met thru internet dating (not thai or thai related but relevant story); in the internet profiling she maintained that she was unwilling to date anyone who earned under a certain amount plus education under a certain level.

she found several someones, sorted them out, met one guy who fit these criteria plus others that were more soul related criteria, and they are happlily living together. for her it was important criteria but it didnt neccasarily rule out the 'soul' aspect.(both are second marriages)

i have found someone poorer even then me, less educated but he fits my bill and i dont think he was even looking for someone like me.

maybe its a knee jerk reaction with many of them, and once u get to know them, u can get beyond the financial aspect (which is also important in the real world as my mother always points out).

the real users of people i suspect will always be found out eventually. you can always play poor ... test the waters. i cant believe that an entire society is based on loving someones money or there wouldnt be so many penises chopped off by thai ladies. someone must be marrying for love/affection or murders fo passion etc woudlnt be happening, no?

or maybe im just reallly naive???

alright dont answer that.....

bina

israel

GuestHouse · October 20, 2006

My observation is there are far more good women in Thailand than guys willing to make the effort to meet them... half way.

Thailand, like everywhere, the places you go looking has a huge impact on the kind of woman you meet.

Gary A · October 20, 2006

Finding a woman you can be happy with isn't easy. I lived with a number of Thai women and gradually gave up on the idea of finding one I could be happy with and who would put up with me. After I had finally given up I found the right one. I have been more happy and content the past three years than at any other time in my life. I should add that the most mercenary girl that I lived with had never been married and had never stepped foot in a bar in her life.

meemiathai · October 20, 2006

Has some stupid posts been deleted?

Neeranam · October 20, 2006

Tomorow, I'll have been married 5 years.

Things couldn't be better, and I mean that.

I suggest playing the field for at least 3 years, to see what Thai girls are like - all the relationships that I see failing have been guys getting hitched without having lived here for any time.

It's so easy to arrive in Thailand and think that the first woman that you meet is wonderful - if I'd hitched up with my first girlfriend here, it would have been a disaster. Looking back she was relatively ugly, although at the time I thought she were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

Jai Dee · October 20, 2006

"They take care very good".

I know it's a generalisation, but Thai males have a well known reputation for not being faithful for long.

No woman would ever want their husband to stray...

Just the same as men not wanting their wife to stray.

"Take care very good" could be applied in this context too.

MiG16 · October 20, 2006

I think it should be possible, but the key might be....dont LOOK for true love. just let it happen

its one of those things....higher expectations, higher disappointment. atleast thats how i look at it.

in terms of money matter -- if i were the farang men try not to splurge to impress your date on the first few meetings. go somewhere simple and nice, maybe start with a coffee first. that way the woman doesnt make any assumption to start with...about how well off or not you are. go to the movies, then take her for a soda or cake or icecream afterwards. they are nice enough gestures, yet not extremely expensive. that way it wouldnt give impression either way...that you are a cash box, nor that you are a cheapskate.

dont know if that helps....

good luck ...from a thai

robhudd · October 20, 2006

Hi All

I have read many posts like this and it sometimes makes me wonder if we ferang men expect to much from Thai women. I have had a few relationships with Thai women, some very good, some very bad and others in between. Strangely enough I have also had relationships back in im home country, some very good, some very bad and others in between. Bottom line is relationships are hard no matter where the girl comes from, there are always going to be problems. When you add on top of this culteral differences, language differences and (in some cases) long distances then it is going to be tough.

Good luck to everyone!!!

markwhite · October 20, 2006

I've been here 14 months and had been deliberately avoiding the sort of situations you described. But about 6 weeks ago I opened myself up to the chance of meeting someone and then tried to forget about it and get on with life: not to get wrapped up in the 'I need to meet someone' thing.

And just over a month ago I got on a songthaew, saw a gorgeous girl, and fell in love with her.

We spent proper time together and are still getting to know each other, which is fine by me after a break from any regular relationship for a few years. Neither of us want to rush things and screw up, when we can take time and just have fun.

Last night she told me I'm the sort of man she could spend the rest of her life with. She's in love with me and I don't have to be rich, successful, hunky or handsome to make her happy. I just have to be me. Which is coming real easy nowadays.

This is the sort of relationship I did not expect to find. It's early days but I'm very happy.

Chase skirt, and you get tail. Let love into your life and it will find you.

I wish you all the best,

Mark...

dgoz · October 20, 2006

You can find true love anywhere, including Thailand.

The question would more appropriately be asked of Farangland. Why are we all over here in Thailand in the first place?

britmaveric · October 20, 2006

Found it when I set eyes on my lady, so I guess yes you can find true love. Part of its being lucky and being in the right place at the right time. Fate perhaps???

meemiathai · October 20, 2006

For me, if I keep thinking or suggesting to myself that there might be a better one out there, or asking myself if this is the real one for me, I will forever be looking for someone in my life. I will always find fault in her.

One really has to decide that if this is the one, you must hang on to it. Try your best to make her happy and see how things turn out. For the past 7 yrs, the arguments between us can be counted on one hand. I gave everything I had to her. It has not always been smooth, but she gradually realises my willing to sacrifice for her. She is very different now from the very begining. She tries her best now to make me happy.

I doubt if there would be the day(dong mee suk wan!) I am no longer attracted to other women but I know for quite sure that this would be the woman I will take good care of for my life.

Donz · October 20, 2006

Im not married yet, But i met mine in Sydney, she was studying.

Ours relationship is definately based on true love, she is smart, doesnt have the "face" thing too much, talks to me openly and just a great person. Im not rich, actually I was broke as a joke when we first met.

First Thai girl I have met, and hearing many posters on here about there wives etc, it seems ive hit the jackpot. Just like a few other people too.