What if your Daughter did it

[Blackheart]

We know that many people here have huge differences in age between their partners and themselves.

We also know that opinions on the matter vary widely here also,does not bother me but I will share my thoughts if asked as it's generally not my business.

My question is this, would you approve of your Daughters dating what is considered an old man, would that be accepted.

This is not a flame, just curious.

[Blackheart]

I'm really just wondering if peoples stance differs with others doing it such as their children.

Are they truly ok with it, and does the let them be rule apply, trying to write this without appearing inflammatory.

[chiang mai]

You're clearly pointing at older men and younger Thai women in Thailand, you're not I would imagine pointing at older western men and young western girls, there's a big difference.

That being true:

To answer the question appropriately you would have to be a Buddhist who has lived within Thai culture and at Thai income levels, all of their life.

To answer the question as a Westerner means invoking a totally different set of values.

So, give us a model on which to base our answer, which nationality for which person?

[oxo1947]

We know that many people here have huge differences in age between their partners and themselves.-------OP

If there is in fact a huge difference in age between her parents......on what grounds would you tell her that she couldn't date someone older.......

[chiang mai]

As a Thai father in Thailand the answer is that it's OK.

As a Western father in the West it's sociably unacceptable hence it's not OK.

As a Western father in Thailand it's most probably not acceptable, to the father.

As a Thai father living in the West, it's probably OK, so what does that tell you about the West.

[SoiBiker]

Looks like we can expect some world-class question dodging here.

Personally, I don't have a daughter - but if I did, I can't imagine what I would hope for would be for her to become the plaything of a guy my age.

[buythisdashcam]

IF he is rich I have no problem as long as he does not smell bad as some ugly old people.

[Jip99]

As a Thai father in Thailand the answer is that it's OK.

As a Western father in the West it's sociably unacceptable hence it's not OK.

As a Western father in Thailand it's most probably not acceptable, to the father.

As a Thai father living in the West, it's probably OK, so what does that tell you about the West.

..... and what does it tell you about Thailand?

I agree with the summary except that as a western father I would leave my daughter to decide on the relationship she wanted.

[zeichen]

I think if my daughter is in love with someone and they treat her with respect, admiration and equality, I would support it.

I think just like any father it depends on the relationship and not the age.

The stereotypical relationship here of an older foreign man married to younger Thai women is different as the age isn't the issue. The problem with most of these relationships is that they are marriages of convenience and personal agendas. Women looking for financial security and a way out of poverty and disgruntled men that want a subservient woman who won't challenge their western superiority is the problem most fathers would have.

But I do like your question and reasoning. Before we do anything we should always ask ourselves if it happened to ourselves would we be as happy about it.

[n210mp]

I have a friend in the UK (dont we all) whose daughter married some DH of her own age, result catastrophe!

They had two kids He left her as they do and at the worst possible time leaving her devastated and with the prospect of a hard existence bringing the two kids up.

A couple of years down the road she met a man a lot older than her and bingo the best thing that happened to her and him.

So yes it is possible to have a happy life with an older man.

In any event you are only as old as you feel and the amount of old age, beer swilling, chain smoking 50 year olds propping the bars up in down town Pattaya are not indicative of Men of any age.

Finally in my rant and because I am sick of young jealous immature upstarts talking BS about the values of older men with younger woman does it ever occur to them when bringing older men with young women into disrepute that getting older, remaining fit and healthy, having an healthy interest in , dare I say it a younger woman is a result perhaps of not just good luck but a healthy brain that has done its job in maintain a healthy body and mind

When a nest builder (woman) looks around for a suitable mate in the West its for the biggest Phallus ( in other words pure eroticism ) with no thought of the future.

When a nest builder (Woman looks around for a suitable mate in the East its for the future with all the Instinctive reactive process kicking in.

Those Instinctive reactive processes are not too concerned with the size of the cock but the ability to build the best secure nest and bring home the bacon as it where to feed the family a situation IMO that an older man fills so much better than an "Hoppin youth"

So eat your hearts out you jealous young ageist youths for you will always be at the back of the line behind the older more attractive men chasing the young ladies from Thailand.

Now where is my flak jacket?

[Berkshire]

As a Thai father in Thailand the answer is that it's OK.

As a Western father in the West it's sociably unacceptable hence it's not OK.

As a Western father in Thailand it's most probably not acceptable, to the father.

As a Thai father living in the West, it's probably OK, so what does that tell you about the West.

Not sure how you can answer for a Thai father if you yourself are not Thai. A Thai father can be against it, but will most likely relent to the will of his daughter. That would be the same as any western father. Yes, there are cases of young western women with older men (that we hear about). I would guess that the father may harbor private disagreement, but would support his daughter's decision.

To answer the OP, I would prefer my daughter be with a responsible older man than a punk irresponsible younger man. But regardless, it's her choice. I'm assuming the question is about an adult woman and not a teenager.

[n210mp]

In answer to the OP question

Whether you approve or not if your daughters anything like mine you would not have either an opinion or a say in the matter.

They will do as they want too whether you objecr not!

[Jip99]

As a Thai father in Thailand the answer is that it's OK.

As a Western father in the West it's sociably unacceptable hence it's not OK.

As a Western father in Thailand it's most probably not acceptable, to the father.

As a Thai father living in the West, it's probably OK, so what does that tell you about the West.

Not sure how you can answer for a Thai father if you yourself are not Thai. A Thai father can be against it, but will most likely relent to the will of his daughter. That would be the same as any western father. Yes, there are cases of young western women with older men (that we hear about). I would guess that the father may harbor private disagreement, but would support his daughter's decision.

To answer the OP, I would prefer my daughter be with a responsible older man than a punk irresponsible younger man. But regardless, it's her choice. I'm assuming the question is about an adult woman and not a teenager.

You don't need to be Thai to see what goes on everywhere (certainly in rural Thailand).

As long as sin sot, or a regular income is received from a relationship I doubt any Thai father would make any judgement.

[bigt3116]

You're clearly pointing at older men and younger Thai women in Thailand, you're not I would imagine pointing at older western men and young western girls, there's a big difference.

That being true:

To answer the question appropriately you would have to be a Buddhist who has lived within Thai culture and at Thai income levels, all of their life.

To answer the question as a Westerner means invoking a totally different set of values.

So, give us a model on which to base our answer, which nationality for which person?

Please explain what religion has to do with it ?

[MaeJoMTB]

As long as he buys me a pickup and her a house and land.

I'm fine with it.

Would I want her to be with a young Thai guy struggling to earn 9k a month?

Not really.

Edited February 6, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[impulse]

Do I get a house, health care and a stipend out of the deal?

[tonray]

Unacceptable except where age difference is not such a big deal....for example a 55 year old and a 35 year old...both middle aged adults. But an 18 year old and a 55 year old not acceptable.

[Blackheart]

I can say without a doubt my wife's father would cut her off permanently, that's him though.

I believe many are happy, but most are more or less a business transaction, I want to emphasise the point I made same are happy.

I also believe that those who are against it are not jealous, don't fool yourselves, they are just not in agreement.

As for Western woman they are not all bad, all are individuals.

[JHolmesJr]

I would flog her to within an inch of her life if she was below 30 and dating a bingo player.

[rogeroc]

When my Western daughter was 22 she was living in Australia and dating a 50 year old man, just a few years younger than me. I was pleased that she was happy to tell me about it but very reluctant to tell her mother. I agree with other Posters here that it should be more about 'who the person is' rather than age.

[Blackheart]

Depends

There's a big difference between the typical age-gap relationship in the West and the one in Thailand

Most guys who have them in the West have serious coin - a Western young 'un needs far more incentive to go nostalgic with a fossil than her Thai counterpart - that's why they old guys are here in such numbers singing the local women's praises

If my daughter was in the West and hooked up with an old man, there's a really good chance he'd at least have real world wealth and, I suppose, I could live with it . . . just

If she was here, though and considering an ex-Network Rail ticket inspector on a goat-cheese pension, I'd disown her in the blink of an eye and empty a clip into his face

In Thailand the western men are wealthy somewhat in their eyes.

You get what you pay for however, and you cannot buy love, and a woman that hooks up with any man for money regardless of age is what some may call a prostitute with one customer.

[Blackheart]

You're clearly pointing at older men and younger Thai women in Thailand, you're not I would imagine pointing at older western men and young western girls, there's a big difference.

That being true:

To answer the question appropriately you would have to be a Buddhist who has lived within Thai culture and at Thai income levels, all of their life.

To answer the question as a Westerner means invoking a totally different set of values.

So, give us a model on which to base our answer, which nationality for which person?

Please explain what religion has to do with it ?

Yes, what does religion have to do with it.

Poor upbringing is the reason for entering a relationship based on cash alone.

[SoiBiker]

Depends

There's a big difference between the typical age-gap relationship in the West and the one in Thailand

Most guys who have them in the West have serious coin - a Western young 'un needs far more incentive to go nostalgic with a fossil than her Thai counterpart - that's why they old guys are here in such numbers singing the local women's praises

If my daughter was in the West and hooked up with an old man, there's a really good chance he'd at least have real world wealth and, I suppose, I could live with it . . . just

If she was here, though and considering an ex-Network Rail ticket inspector on a goat-cheese pension, I'd disown her in the blink of an eye and empty a clip into his face

In Thailand the western men are wealthy somewhat in their eyes.

You get what you pay for however, and you cannot buy love, and a woman that hooks up with any man for money regardless of age is what some may call a prostitute with one customer.

Someone will be along shortly to tell you that we're all paying for it one way or another, and imply that all women are some kind of prostitute.

They'll be wrong, of course, but that's the kind of attitude that prevails around here.

[Fookhaht]

Read a pretty disparaging western article on the internet recently about the prevalence of this in Thailand.

The oft-used derogatory terminology was "inter-generational sex." It was used in a similar way we'd say "incest" or "bestiality."

I felt so guilty...

[MaeJoMTB]

You get what you pay for however, and you cannot buy love,

If you think you can't buy love, then you don't have enough money.

[SoiBiker]

Read a pretty disparaging western article on the internet recently about the prevalence of this in Thailand.

The oft-used derogatory terminology was "inter-generational sex." It was used in a similar way we'd say "incest" or "bestiality."

I felt so guilty...

How is that term derogatory? Sounds purely descriptive to me.

[Fookhaht]

It was the WAY it was used. You'd have to read it to get the gist. Sorry I don't have a link.

[chiang mai]

You're clearly pointing at older men and younger Thai women in Thailand, you're not I would imagine pointing at older western men and young western girls, there's a big difference.

That being true:

To answer the question appropriately you would have to be a Buddhist who has lived within Thai culture and at Thai income levels, all of their life.

To answer the question as a Westerner means invoking a totally different set of values.

So, give us a model on which to base our answer, which nationality for which person?

Please explain what religion has to do with it ?

It's not a huge part of the equation, it's just that Buddhism is a religion that is somewhat more relaxed about marriage and sees it as at the discretion of the individual whereas Christianity sees everything as being a commandment from God and in terms of fire and brimstone if you do something bad.

[chiang mai]

As a Thai father in Thailand the answer is that it's OK.

As a Western father in the West it's sociably unacceptable hence it's not OK.

As a Western father in Thailand it's most probably not acceptable, to the father.

As a Thai father living in the West, it's probably OK, so what does that tell you about the West.

Not sure how you can answer for a Thai father if you yourself are not Thai. A Thai father can be against it, but will most likely relent to the will of his daughter. That would be the same as any western father. Yes, there are cases of young western women with older men (that we hear about). I would guess that the father may harbor private disagreement, but would support his daughter's decision.

To answer the OP, I would prefer my daughter be with a responsible older man than a punk irresponsible younger man. But regardless, it's her choice. I'm assuming the question is about an adult woman and not a teenager.

"Not sure how you can answer for a Thai father if you yourself are not Thai".

I'm making the assumption that must be the case given that here in Thailand there as so many young daughter/older man relationships and very few fathers seem to object to it.

[stephenterry]

You get what you pay for however, and you cannot buy love,

If you think you can't buy love, then you don't have enough money.

I can't make you love me if you don't. George Michael at his best.