Wife transferring my money

[Bung]

That money is gone. It was sent to Thailand to pay for something,likely a family crisis/debt. I doubt it will be sitting in a bank account in Thailand any more.

[chiang mai]

The Bangkok bank in London does not offer a retail banking service. Never heard of the SCM bank .............

If she has an account number (like Bangkok Bank) She CAN transfer, have your Bank transfer to London's Bangkok Bank! Even though it is not actually open for retail services... THEY DO ACCEPT BANK TRANSFERS AND DEPOSITS TO LEGIT BANGKOK BANK ACCOUNTS! This is how example retirement funds are deposited and transfered here! They key in transfer... As soon as they click enter... It is here!! I do this all the time and transfer from Thailand to US Bank to pay taxes and major Bills (depending the amount fee is usually around 200 baht)

This discussion is about transfers from Thailand back to the UK, BBL London cannot be used for that purpose.

Yes it can, I just did it! I believe he is in UK and money is being sent to Thailand. Why else would she be doing WIRE TRANSFERS!Go back and read his post again! Both him and his wife live and work in UK. His Bank will transfer to Bangkok Bank, using their routing number (same as here) to the earmarked account. This is why fee charged by Bangkok Bank is so low... It is not classified as an International Transfer of funds. As soon as it is sent to routing number/and account... It is in Thailand! Wonderful mysteries of computers!!

You're confused, the OP is asking if there is any way his wife can transfer the money back to the UK without her actually visiting Thailand, IF she had transferred the funds to a Bangkok Bank account (he doesn't state which bank she used) and IF the funds were still there and IF she were in Thailand to issue the transfer instruction (you can only push funds, you can't pull them, therefore she MUST be at her branch of Bangkok Bank, IF that;'s where she banks) with her passbook, in order to issue the transfer instruction. IF all those IF's can be met then yes, she can transfer to the UK but NOT via BBL London because BBL London is NOT a retail bank and doesn't accept retail funds - neither is it necessarily a correspondent bank for any other banks in Thailand. The 200 baht charge is for funds transfers from the UK out to a Bangkok Bank account in Thailand, that's all.

[gandalf12]

So.........would you define that as stealing?

And there's probably not much she can do from the UK unless she has internet banking. Even then it's probably a slim chance she can do an international transfer.

However - I'm sure she has someone in Thailand that can access the money, assuming it ain't been spent yet.

If it is a joint account it is legal and certainly not stealing. Essentially they have entered into a contract were either party can withdraw as much money as they want without reference to the other person.

[MaeJoMTB]

By and large she's a really good girl,

No, she's a thief stealing thousands of pounds of your money.

Making up an endless series of lies to explain away her stealing.

And we all know it will never stop.

[1FinickyOne]

I really feel we are doing our bit to help but why are these people so greedy !! And why is she so influenced by them ?

Yes, you are doing your bit, but there might be pressures on your wife that are not reasonable and she does not know how to deal with. But, let me try and answer your questions.

1. She is influenced so heavily because most Thai are taught that their parents and family come first.

2. Most poor people have no understanding of "rich" people - and you don't even sound that rich. It is a word in their head - they don't think about it too deeply but a rich person - well, it is as if you have a cellar full of gold coins and you are too cheap to throw them a wheel barrel full of your billions... if you are rich, you will always be rich and they think if they had a cellar full of gold that would never run out, they would be extremely generous with you -

Your wife might be just in a bind between you and her family that has accelerated quickly and she did not know how to handle it. And handled it poorly - I know that people here are quick to advise you to throw her out - but I find it tough to believe that she was fine for so many years - then changed suddenly. Yes, I would take the necessary precautions but would also approach her with compassion and try and find out the real story... sometimes people make mistakes - sometimes situations occur. If you love her as you say, I think you can and will overcome this episode in life. Good luck to you -

[laolover88]

Oh dear!

It IS a criminal offence in the UK to access someone else's money. Most ATM cards even on joint accounts have different sets of codes. You can demonstrate which card was used to withdraw funds, where and when.However if it is a joint account the only control, if you have access to the PINs and/or the Internet Banking codes and passwords, would be if a cheque required 2 signatures.

Who in their right mind gives a second person access to the codes/passwords of a joint account unless it is joint income/savings? Even then? All banks I deal with are endlessly warning against circumstances where passwords and PIN numbers become known to a 3rd party.

If you go on like this you may have love, but you'll have no money! Close everything down, change all PINs and passwords, cancel all cards-easy to explain.

Cancel all payments being made in Thailand. "Brother" can buy his own pickup. Tell her you are not a fool and what does she plan to do about it. If you put her on a plane, I suggest a One Way ticket. You can worry about what to do later. Make sure you have originals or at least copies of all ID cards, Tabian Bans, Credit agreements (Tisco?),Chanoots, Marriage Certificates and Registrations.

PS. Whatever the circumstances of her, the family, stealing is NOT an Option!!

The money is gone. Forget it. You'll have to be really tough to say "No More"!

Edited March 10, 2016 by laolover88

[akentryan]

Sorry for you. Once trust is gone for something as vile as this your marriage is gone. Cut your losses and don't waste more money on air fare.

[ozyjon]

We have been married for 12 years

maybe she's had enough, setting up with a new model,, (i'm joking)

but in Thailand, it's all about the money.

[LC 100]

IMO the best investment you can make now is a one way ticket to BKK....

[zaZa9]

Im a bit surprised no one has commented on how pliable Thai women are in the hands of family.

I have seen two LT girlfriends turn in to malleable zombies when faced with demands from family , even more so when those making the requests/orders are older.

And basically these 2 Thai woman are a couple of many millions of Thai girls who have been programmed from the day of their birth to put their own needs as distant second to those of parents and siblings , and it should come as no surprise to us when this kind of thing , as stated by the OP , happens.

Sure , she should have asked , but like a kid to us , her response would likely to have been , "But you would have said 'No' ".

There she is , in the West with ALL that money , and being 'kee niow' and not sharing it with her own blood....

Doesnt anyone recognise that it appears she didnt take the money for herself?

My question therefore is , "Does she earn her own money in Scotland?"

If so , is it all accounted for so closely that she couldnt send from her own savings?

What she did is wrong , and Im not denying that.

But if the money isnt for her own benefit then there are extenuating circumstances ...

So Im not beying for her blood .... we all know that Thailand has no dole , no consumer protection body ( thus idiot brothers car ) and no pensions ( worth a salt ) ....and she is therefore seen by her family as THEIR social security net.

She can oblige them and stay in her family , or she can reject them and throw in her lot with a culture she probably never plans to live amongst in retirement...

I think it is good she will have to go back and retrieve the 6k pounds - if she doesnt return with it , then the relationship wasnt meant to be.

And , a big "No offence" , but how hard must it be for a Thai to live in the cold and work of Scotland.... I wouldnt leave Thailand to follow a supermodel to most of the countries we BMs are from ...

So dont blame yourself about any of this OP.

I think you are being suitably impassive about it all , and thats about all you can do.

[Deez]

Thanks all,

Looks like I'll need to put her on a plane to Bangkok and see if she comes back with the money !!

So how much has she transferred?

Must be substantial if the OP is putting her on a flight back to Thailand and can't be arsed to update those that were good enough to answer his OP.

It's a sad state of affairs when you have to resort to putting your wife on an aeroplane to Thailand to retrieve the money she has allegedly stolen from you in the UK.

What's to say she will even bother to return,maybe this was her plan all along.

Maybe it was his plan all along

[chiang mai]

OP: ignore all the posts regarding your wife, lots of bitter and twisted westerners on here who lost oodles through divorce/bad relationships etc, make your own decisions, YOU know best.

[zaZa9]

PS , I see Kenk24 has made a similiar post while I was typing...

And again , and honestly , I marvel how these Thai ladies can go and live in Europe or North America , or even Southern Australia for 10 and 20 years at a time...

I couldnt.

But I have money , so I have a choice.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

OP: ignore all the posts regarding your wife, lots of bitter and twisted westerners on here who lost oodles through divorce/bad relationships etc, make your own decisions, YOU know best.

And you are above all "westerner"?

What does it even mean a lot of bitter "Westerners" here? Does it mean it's ok to lie cheat and steal?

I don't get this post.... Unless....of course.... one is to gloat about themselves and their coolness and know it all on just about every thread. The perfect relationship guy who married into a perfect family.

Yes.... You are the cool one. We get it.

Meanwhile, the op came here for advice or perhaps to find some like-minded individuals who will emphasize that stealing is not ok.

[stoneyboy]

OP: ignore all the posts regarding your wife, lots of bitter and twisted westerners on here who lost oodles through divorce/bad relationships etc, make your own decisions, YOU know best.

He knows best alright he's just been fleeced for 6k GBP.

[SteveSamui6262]

FIRST OF ALL: I have been transfering monies from Los Angeles, California (USA) to various private Thai bank accounts in Thailand for approximately 14 years. Monies are easily transferred in small or large amounts, and many transfers are made through private services. In Los Angeles, many Thai restaurants provide money transfer services for $10 USD per transaction, with a maximum amount of $1,000 USD per transfer.

Your story has been heard many times before. Wife is being disloyal to you for her own selfish reasons.

RED FLAG!

Additionally, I have also used my Thailand Bank (Siam Commercial Bank) issued Visa and Mastercards to charge for merchandise in the U.S.A. I was able to monitor my Thai bank account transactions and balances online. For example: scbeasy.com (Siam Commercial Bank). This could be a good way to begin to recuperate some of the funds.

As far as transfering large sums of $ out of Thailand via bank wire or even by carrying the fund out of the country yourself, Thailand has a limit which you can move per trip, and to my recollection, those funds must be in foreign currency and not Thai Baht. Once the monies are converted into baht, things get tough.

IF I WERE YOU: Assuming you have a joint bank account with your wife, I would IMMEDIATELY open a SEPERATE PERSONAL ACCOUNT in your name only and then transfer *ALL* funds from the joint account over to your new private account. There would be nothing illegal about doing so because your name is on the account too. Her secret withdrawals behind your back from your JOINT BANK ACCOUNT were also legal, as she has already demonstrated.

HOWEVER: If she fradulantly extracted funds from a private account of yours, I suggest you contact a divorse attorney and the police. It might be time to DTB (DUMP THAT BITCH)!

Good luck mate.

[blackcab]

You really need to act fast. If she divorces you, how much would you lose? I can guarantee that she has considered divorcing you.

Empty your accounts quick, then work to secure your other assets.

If you can't do that quickly then make your peace while you get on with it.

For all you know the theft of the cash might have been the last act to clean you out before she divorces you.

[Bangkok Barry]

Difficult to see any future with her when she went behind your back to steal the money, and then she lied to you twice about why. As for getting the money back, as one or two have suggested it might have already been spent. If it is available, then Google money transfers Thailand to the UK. I personally use TransferWise to send money in the other direction. And there is always the Thai bargirl favourite of using Western Union.

The bottom line though is that you have fallen victim to the normal Thai thing of her family being more important than you, her husband. Maybe she was pressured into doing what she did, so she was between a rock and a hard place. Maybe she was a victim in this. Her family wouldn't care about that, of course.

[chiang mai]

Dinner's almost ready so I'll give it my best shot without editing or too much thought, in a short time, it goes like this:

Not difficult to imagine a younger Brit.acquires a Thai female from a poor rural family and falls in love, applies for and gets granted a Settlement Visa and sets up home UK side - adjustments aplenty for both parties, some work, others don't, his expectation (if it even existed) that she would cease to care for/support her family would be naive and shows no understanding for the differences in culture. She gets pressure from both sides, him and from the family, what to do - they need to work it out, he knows her, YOU don't, let him decide to rebuild or to move on. 6K Pounds, peanuts, get over it, you'll blow more than that in the pub in a year or on a decent holiday, it's not as he's a pensioner for goodness sake.

Food, bye.

PS: to "the guy from"..., hit a nerve I see, was not personalized but if the shoe/cap fits...!

[davidstipek]

Why would you be thinking she try to transfer funds to UK? Where are they? He stated if first paragraph they were in UK. The funds disappeared from HIS UK ACCOUNT...

Funds can be pushed both ways. I just did it! Receive monies which included shipping costs from UK and France. This morning I transfered funds to pay for it Harley Engines and mounting hardware.

Is not her family in Thailand?

[F4UCorsair]

FWIW - my opinion.

1. Stop all payments to family in Thailand.

2. Insist that the money is paid back to you from your wife's wages in the UK.

3. Once the money has been returned, show her the door.

EXACTLY what I would advise chiclenslegs.

Differemt stories on where the money went makesher a bloody liar too.

There will be a divorce settlement to contend with in the washup.

[Stevemercer]

In my humble opinion, the OP has handled the situation quite well. He is being realistic in understanding that most of the money has probably already been spent, but still giving his wife the chance to redeem herself by returning half the money. Obviously she and her family will loose out financially if the OP seeks to cut her off (e.g. no more annual gifts or monthly payments for the car). If she has been a good wife for 12 years, and you love her, I think she deserves the chance to make good.

Since you are both in the UK you have the upper hand. It would be a different story if you were both in Thailand (you would have everything to loose).

[chiang mai]

Why would you be thinking she try to transfer funds to UK? Where are they? He stated if first paragraph they were in UK. The funds disappeared from HIS UK ACCOUNT...

Funds can be pushed both ways. I just did it! Receive monies which included shipping costs from UK and France. This morning I transfered funds to pay for it Harley Engines and mounting hardware.

Is not her family in Thailand?

Dude you're a troll, whatever you're on, stop imbibing: the OP is in the UK with his wife, the funds have been transferred out to Thailand and he wants to know how to get them transferred back.

We're done here until you sober up, detox and/or gain some reading and comprehension skills.

[ardokano]

Dinner's almost ready so I'll give it my best shot without editing or too much thought, in a short time, it goes like this:

Not difficult to imagine a younger Brit.acquires a Thai female from a poor rural family and falls in love, applies for and gets granted a Settlement Visa and sets up home UK side - adjustments aplenty for both parties, some work, others don't, his expectation (if it even existed) that she would cease to care for/support her family would be naive and shows no understanding for the differences in culture. She gets pressure from both sides, him and from the family, what to do - they need to work it out, he knows her, YOU don't, let him decide to rebuild or to move on. 6K Pounds, peanuts, get over it, you'll blow more than that in the pub in a year or on a decent holiday, it's not as he's a pensioner for goodness sake.

Food, bye.

PS: to "the guy from"..., hit a nerve I see, was not personalized but if the shoe/cap fits...!

What pressure? She thief.

She family have problem and she ask OP for money can hepled and OP not give?

He knows it when he could not think that she stole? and I stole it as I understand it more than once, and for many years.

"differences in culture"

You say in Thai cultural thief - its normal?

i not think so.

[fletchsmile]

Life's rarely black and white. Although some people choose to make it so from their perspective.

Looking for the intent behind an action is often more useful than judging an action. Often more so across different cultures.

In OP's case I'd have had a discussion with the wife about what she did and why she did it, to try and get at the intent. Bearing in mind the answers he gets may not be the actual truth. Plus why she didn't/couldn't wouldn't tell him. Doesn't bode well though that he's had some of those discussion already and she gave several versions, some of which must have been lies. A common thing here sometimes until someone finds the one that's acceptable.

Then assess what part he had to play in all this. Some might answer that simplistically as none, he's just a victim. On the other hand there's some soul searching about what this says about the relationship and there he probably does have a part to play.

Hope OP does have continue those conversations, and only he's going to be there when they happen, to try and come up with what's real and what's BS.

More than anything though he probably needs to be honest and realistic with himself. Very easy to make excuses for her and lie to himself

Sending her back on a plane to Thailand to get the money and send it back isn't a bad idea either, assuming it's still around. If not and she stays, problem largely solved and lesson hopefully learned and he's well shut. If she comes back is the more difficult question as to if something might be worth salvaging... might.

Cheers

Fletch

[Chalard]

You can prosecute a spouse in the UK for taking money out of a joint account???

Not if she has drawing rights which she will have

Didn't you read what the OP said, she took his ATM Card without his knowledge & because she knew the pin, she withdrew money without him knowing...

[chiang mai]

You can prosecute a spouse in the UK for taking money out of a joint account???

Not if she has drawing rights which she will have

Didn't you read what the OP said, she took his ATM Card without his knowledge & because she knew the pin, she withdrew money without him knowing...

IF he gave her/she knew his PIN, he gave her his approval to access his account.

[davidstipek]

No I have stated how easy it is to transfer funds in and out of Thailand. I do it several times a week!

I have trolled no one, you kept telling me she was trying to get funds out of Thailand! I then spoke up and told you to go back and read his post! You chose to argue with me... That your problem, I am not arguing, either get your glasses checked or you command of English has a poor demeanor... No one else has any issues with what I stated. I have stated my facts. I don't drink... I would not have carried a top secret clearance for 40 years if I was of the level you have insinuated! My wife is Thai, has been advisor to several US Senators on SE Asian issues for 20 years.

I have not stated anything to be level OP. As I believe other will latest to. I am done I do not need to be drawn down to your level...

[ardokano]

You can prosecute a spouse in the UK for taking money out of a joint account???

Not if she has drawing rights which she will have

Didn't you read what the OP said, she took his ATM Card without his knowledge & because she knew the pin, she withdrew money without him knowing...

IF he gave her/she knew his PIN, he gave her his approval to access his account.

is the official definition that follows the laws of the British?

where you saw that he had given her?. OP said only that she knew ..

may she saw. OP knew about that she knew

Edited March 10, 2016 by ardokano

[ardokano]

No I have stated how easy it is to transfer funds in and out of Thailand. I do it several times a week!

I have trolled no one, you kept telling me she was trying to get funds out of Thailand! I then spoke up and told you to go back and read his post! You chose to argue with me... That your problem, I am not arguing, either get your glasses checked or you command of English has a poor demeanor... No one else has any issues with what I stated. I have stated my facts. I don't drink... I would not have carried a top secret clearance for 40 years if I was of the level you have insinuated! My wife is Thai, has been advisor to several US Senators on SE Asian issues for 20 years.

I have not stated anything to be level OP. As I believe other will latest to. I am done I do not need to be drawn down to your level...

How can money be transferred from Thailand without being in Thailand without having online banking, and having only the Thailand banking book?

PS

Ofcouce OP say it money go to mother account as wife say.

So mother can easy transfer money.. or brother .. or any another frtom family.

But have big chance money NOT have...