Would you check the Phone of your GF,BF or Partner?

[RigPig]

The basics haven't changed since the "cave man days".

A man said to me once, "ALL women are whores...except for Mom, and if you REALLY want to know about Mom ...ask Dad....."

Your opinions may date back to "cave man days" - but the world has moved on.

Has it REALLY!!!

I usually charge for this however I'll make an exception in your case....

" So back in caveman days men used to go out hunting with the "boys", they would have a good time, maybe get into some "magic mushrooms, or fermented concoctions" and generally make friends and party. So why did they go back to the cave? Well call it what you like but basically it was for sex. And if that didn't happen we wouldn't be here now!

So how did the women choose (and it is always the woman's choice) which man she would couple up with? Yeah there were physical characteristics, strength looks etc. But it all REALLY came down to survival. Who was the best hunter? Who can feed me, my parents, grand parents? And especially my children. Who can protect us from the dangers?

So what's changed apart from the fact we feed the family by working?

So my question is what has moved on?

Muslims, Africans, Thais,Papua New Guinea.... ?

Asian marriages, and relationships in Thailand are still based on feudal mentality and the family benefiting from it.

Look up where the word Khun came from and who changed it. Watch Thai soapies and tell me that has changed....

Show me a happily married Farang that hasn't benefited his "Thai family" in some way shape or form and show me what he got back in return for his generosity...

[pgrahmm]

Nope - we both have full access to each other's phones & laptops - sometimes - depending on function/needs they become interchangeable.....

[bbbbooboo]

To be honest....I couldnt be bothered looking

[farcanell]

Checking is only a part of it..., what you choose to do about discovery of infidelity----farcanell

That's easy farcanell.....we have already been given the answer......you just have to be walking the talk, while talking the walk..........and it may assist you to chew gum at the same time as walking & talking ....then your a man...... ......apparently............

LOL... Insightful... And funny ?

[SoiBiker]

The basics haven't changed since the "cave man days".

A man said to me once, "ALL women are whores...except for Mom, and if you REALLY want to know about Mom ...ask Dad....."

Your opinions may date back to "cave man days" - but the world has moved on.

Has it REALLY!!!

I usually charge for this however I'll make an exception in your case....

" So back in caveman days men used to go out hunting with the "boys", they would have a good time, maybe get into some "magic mushrooms, or fermented concoctions" and generally make friends and party. So why did they go back to the cave? Well call it what you like but basically it was for sex. And if that didn't happen we wouldn't be here now!

So how did the women choose (and it is always the woman's choice) which man she would couple up with? Yeah there were physical characteristics, strength looks etc. But it all REALLY came down to survival. Who was the best hunter? Who can feed me, my parents, grand parents? And especially my children. Who can protect us from the dangers?

So what's changed apart from the fact we feed the family by working?

So my question is what has moved on?

Muslims, Africans, Thais,Papua New Guinea.... ?

Asian marriages, and relationships in Thailand are still based on feudal mentality and the family benefiting from it.

Look up where the word Khun came from and who changed it. Watch Thai soapies and tell me that has changed....

Show me a happily married Farang that hasn't benefited his "Thai family" in some way shape or form and show me what he got back in return for his generosity...

Yes, its moved on.

Nowadays women can earn their own money, and men don't just socialise with other men.

My wife doesn't need me to support her, and when I go out for a good time I generally take her with me.

[smotherb]

I ALWAYS give'em a free smart phone with spyware already installed. It's brilliant you can exen call the number and listen in to conversations around the phone where ever they are. Use Google translate for all the captured text msgs, browsing histoty, get her facebook password, email password...everything. Even tracks where she is on GPS.

Always a good start to a relationship and trust.

You can bet she is checking yours.

Oh Windows based computers are easy to install keyloggers on too, that can be a BIG help!!!

I'm pretty confident she isn't checking mine.

I really hope you're joking about the other stuff.

You can GUARANTEE she is, they can't help it! It's the "nature of the beast!!"

As for the rest, well it is all possible, and if you feel that insecure do it!! ALL or NOTHING!!

However I will say that if the "little voice inside your head" is giving you these "messages" then I will bet (and I am not a gambling man) it is 10 times worse than you suspect!! You just hope/ wish and want to give her the benefit of the doubt. It's human nature.....

Do you remember the story of the scorpion and the frog (Crying Game).......

It's just the way it is.

NEXT!!! 50% of the population has the same plumbing.......

I am SURE you found "the one in a million".

And it's not just Thai's, it's women!!!

If it's just women, with whom would a wife or gf cheat, or are they all lesbian?

And, if it's just the nature of the beast, it appears you think all women cheat. Yours must be a pretty sad world to inhabit.

I believe more men cheat in a relationship than women; especially in a place like Thailand where desirable women can be had quite easily.

[RigPig]

The basics haven't changed since the "cave man days".

A man said to me once, "ALL women are whores...except for Mom, and if you REALLY want to know about Mom ...ask Dad....."

Your opinions may date back to "cave man days" - but the world has moved on.

Has it REALLY!!!

I usually charge for this however I'll make an exception in your case....

" So back in caveman days men used to go out hunting with the "boys", they would have a good time, maybe get into some "magic mushrooms, or fermented concoctions" and generally make friends and party. So why did they go back to the cave? Well call it what you like but basically it was for sex. And if that didn't happen we wouldn't be here now!

So how did the women choose (and it is always the woman's choice) which man she would couple up with? Yeah there were physical characteristics, strength looks etc. But it all REALLY came down to survival. Who was the best hunter? Who can feed me, my parents, grand parents? And especially my children. Who can protect us from the dangers?

So what's changed apart from the fact we feed the family by working?

So my question is what has moved on?

Muslims, Africans, Thais,Papua New Guinea.... ?

Asian marriages, and relationships in Thailand are still based on feudal mentality and the family benefiting from it.

Look up where the word Khun came from and who changed it. Watch Thai soapies and tell me that has changed....

Show me a happily married Farang that hasn't benefited his "Thai family" in some way shape or form and show me what he got back in return for his generosity...

Yes, its moved on.

Nowadays women can earn their own money, and men don't just socialise with other men.

My wife doesn't need me to support her, and when I go out for a good time I generally take her with me.

That's EXCELLENT, and I admire your relationship!!

Now tell her there has been a problem with your finances and she has to support you.....

Let me know how you get on with that one!!!

The underlying mentality (whether they have children or not is still "can you support, and protect me and my children")

[SoiBiker]

Your opinions may date back to "cave man days" - but the world has moved on.

Has it REALLY!!!

I usually charge for this however I'll make an exception in your case....

" So back in caveman days men used to go out hunting with the "boys", they would have a good time, maybe get into some "magic mushrooms, or fermented concoctions" and generally make friends and party. So why did they go back to the cave? Well call it what you like but basically it was for sex. And if that didn't happen we wouldn't be here now!

So how did the women choose (and it is always the woman's choice) which man she would couple up with? Yeah there were physical characteristics, strength looks etc. But it all REALLY came down to survival. Who was the best hunter? Who can feed me, my parents, grand parents? And especially my children. Who can protect us from the dangers?

So what's changed apart from the fact we feed the family by working?

So my question is what has moved on?

Muslims, Africans, Thais,Papua New Guinea.... ?

Asian marriages, and relationships in Thailand are still based on feudal mentality and the family benefiting from it.

Look up where the word Khun came from and who changed it. Watch Thai soapies and tell me that has changed....

Show me a happily married Farang that hasn't benefited his "Thai family" in some way shape or form and show me what he got back in return for his generosity...

Yes, its moved on.

Nowadays women can earn their own money, and men don't just socialise with other men.

My wife doesn't need me to support her, and when I go out for a good time I generally take her with me.

That's EXCELLENT, and I admire your relationship!!

Now tell her there has been a problem with your finances and she has to support you.....

Let me know how you get on with that one!!!

The underlying mentality (whether they have children or not is still "can you support, and protect me and my children")

There have been times during our relationship where she's supported me, and times when I've supported her. Neither has ever been a problem.

[Wasima]

Been married for almost 18 years now. Have never checked up and neither has he. No reason to. We share same passwords on everything, email, phones, bank log-ins, everything. Nothing to hide. Also in some cases above, IMHO, I think some people don't check because they are BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING. Ignorance is bliss in some cases.

[RigPig]

I ALWAYS give'em a free smart phone with spyware already installed. It's brilliant you can exen call the number and listen in to conversations around the phone where ever they are. Use Google translate for all the captured text msgs, browsing histoty, get her facebook password, email password...everything. Even tracks where she is on GPS.

Always a good start to a relationship and trust.

You can bet she is checking yours.

Oh Windows based computers are easy to install keyloggers on too, that can be a BIG help!!!

I'm pretty confident she isn't checking mine.

I really hope you're joking about the other stuff.

You can GUARANTEE she is, they can't help it! It's the "nature of the beast!!"

As for the rest, well it is all possible, and if you feel that insecure do it!! ALL or NOTHING!!

However I will say that if the "little voice inside your head" is giving you these "messages" then I will bet (and I am not a gambling man) it is 10 times worse than you suspect!! You just hope/ wish and want to give her the benefit of the doubt. It's human nature.....

Do you remember the story of the scorpion and the frog (Crying Game).......

It's just the way it is.

NEXT!!! 50% of the population has the same plumbing.......

I am SURE you found "the one in a million".

And it's not just Thai's, it's women!!!

If it's just women, with whom would a wife or gf cheat, or are they all lesbian?

And, if it's just the nature of the beast, it appears you think all women cheat. Yours must be a pretty sad world to inhabit.

I believe more men cheat in a relationship than women; especially in a place like Thailand where desirable women can be had quite easily.

So you think it is not an even playing field? Who do you think the cheating men are cheating with and why they don't get caught?

You have heard of "Mia Noi" no doubt, have you heard of "Por Noi"? same same but in reverse. Why do you think they(Thai men" blow them away? Ask a Thai girl what her Thai BF would have done if it had happened....

MANY of us have stories of things we have seen, done, experienced here, but it isn't just Thailand, it's just more open and to a degree tolerated and expected here. It's humn nature. Look up the peculiarities of male dung beetles and the reasons why. Same for humans IMO.

My world isn't sad just realistic, and I can handle it. In the words of Tina Turner "What's love got to do, got to do with it?"

It's an illusion that is sold by Hollywood and marketing companies, no more.

[pgrahmm]

Back in the good old days!?!?

The basics haven't changed since the "cave man days".

A man said to me once, "ALL women are whores...except for Mom, and if you REALLY want to know about Mom ...ask Dad....."

Your opinions may date back to "cave man days" - but the world has moved on.

Has it REALLY!!!

I usually charge for this however I'll make an exception in your case....

" So back in caveman days men used to go out hunting with the "boys", they would have a good time, maybe get into some "magic mushrooms, or fermented concoctions" and generally make friends and party. So why did they go back to the cave? Well call it what you like but basically it was for sex. And if that didn't happen we wouldn't be here now!

So how did the women choose (and it is always the woman's choice) which man she would couple up with? Yeah there were physical characteristics, strength looks etc. But it all REALLY came down to survival. Who was the best hunter? Who can feed me, my parents, grand parents? And especially my children. Who can protect us from the dangers?

So what's changed apart from the fact we feed the family by working?

So my question is what has moved on?

Muslims, Africans, Thais,Papua New Guinea.... ?

Asian marriages, and relationships in Thailand are still based on feudal mentality and the family benefiting from it.

Look up where the word Khun came from and who changed it. Watch Thai soapies and tell me that has changed....

Show me a happily married Farang that hasn't benefited his "Thai family" in some way shape or form and show me what he got back in return for his generosity...

Yes, its moved on.

Nowadays women can earn their own money, and men don't just socialise with other men.

My wife doesn't need me to support her, and when I go out for a good time I generally take her with me.

[chilli42]

Why would I check ... for what possible reason? So I can know if she is messing about so I can upset myself? What a sad waste of time and emotion. Combine this with the fact that she is not so completely stupid to get caught this way.

The situation where I would check is if she turned up dead.

[seancbk]

One of the first things I did, when I decided that my GF was the one I wanted to be with, was tell her what my phone password was and tell her if my phone rang she was free to answer it.

I also gave her my computer passwords, showed her my bank balance, explained where my money comes from and how much gets paid into my account from overseas each month.

I explained to her that I was doing this because to me trust and honesty are extremely important.

We are friends on Facebook so she can see all my photos and who I am friends with. I've had some messages from girls pop up on the computer and she's enquired why they are, so I explained they were ex girlfriends and gave her all the details of when/how long/where etc.

I have her phone password, access to her Facebook and Instagram. I've not asked her how much she earns but if I did she would tell me.

We discussed her last boyfriend (Thai guy).

She travels quite a bit for work, when we are not together she sends me regular Line messages and photos letting me know what she's doing and who with.

Basically we can trust each other 100%

[seancbk]

Your opinions may date back to "cave man days" - but the world has moved on.

Has it REALLY!!!

I usually charge for this however I'll make an exception in your case....

" So back in caveman days men used to go out hunting with the "boys", they would have a good time, maybe get into some "magic mushrooms, or fermented concoctions" and generally make friends and party. So why did they go back to the cave? Well call it what you like but basically it was for sex. And if that didn't happen we wouldn't be here now!

So how did the women choose (and it is always the woman's choice) which man she would couple up with? Yeah there were physical characteristics, strength looks etc. But it all REALLY came down to survival. Who was the best hunter? Who can feed me, my parents, grand parents? And especially my children. Who can protect us from the dangers?

So what's changed apart from the fact we feed the family by working?

So my question is what has moved on?

Muslims, Africans, Thais,Papua New Guinea.... ?

Asian marriages, and relationships in Thailand are still based on feudal mentality and the family benefiting from it.

Look up where the word Khun came from and who changed it. Watch Thai soapies and tell me that has changed....

Show me a happily married Farang that hasn't benefited his "Thai family" in some way shape or form and show me what he got back in return for his generosity...

Yes, its moved on.

Nowadays women can earn their own money, and men don't just socialise with other men.

My wife doesn't need me to support her, and when I go out for a good time I generally take her with me.

That's EXCELLENT, and I admire your relationship!!

Now tell her there has been a problem with your finances and she has to support you.....

Let me know how you get on with that one!!!

The underlying mentality (whether they have children or not is still "can you support, and protect me and my children")

I've had a few relationships where my GF was better off than me financially and helped me out with paying my rent or other things.

I don't think the "can you support me" thing is a definite anymore.

Sometimes it's a "Are you a nice guy who I'd like to support"

[BookMan]

One of the first things I did, when I decided that my GF was the one I wanted to be with, was tell her what my phone password was and tell her if my phone rang she was free to answer it.

I also gave her my computer passwords, showed her my bank balance, explained where my money comes from and how much gets paid into my account from overseas each month.

I explained to her that I was doing this because to me trust and honesty are extremely important.

We are friends on Facebook so she can see all my photos and who I am friends with. I've had some messages from girls pop up on the computer and she's enquired why they are, so I explained they were ex girlfriends and gave her all the details of when/how long/where etc.

I have her phone password, access to her Facebook and Instagram. I've not asked her how much she earns but if I did she would tell me.

We discussed her last boyfriend (Thai guy).

She travels quite a bit for work, when we are not together she sends me regular Line messages and photos letting me know what she's doing and who with.

Basically we can trust each other 100%

It's good to be open and transparent once u have reached a certain relationship level

Still... I do think everyone needs some degree of privacy and separation on some matters

[connda]

I don't and never have.

All my significant others have and do, since the inception of the cell phone. It creates nothing but problems, especially considering that I'm not dumb enough to call my mia noi and giks using my cell phone. (Just kidding, no mia nois or giks. More trouble than they are worth, because they would feel a need to check my phone too.)

Jealousy is a bitch. I don't feed that dog.

[mrmicbkktxl]

Absolutely not and neither would I open her mail.

I know it seems impossible for some guys to get

to That point, but it's up to you, self control, trust

just get on with your business and let get on with

hers.

Trust is good but for losers,control is better and best,special in a country where 75% enjoy to have a gik.

[RigPig]

Absolutely not and neither would I open her mail.

I know it seems impossible for some guys to get

to That point, but it's up to you, self control, trust

just get on with your business and let get on with

hers.

Trust is good but for losers,control is better and best,special in a country where 75% enjoy to have a gik.

And if not mandatory then (almost) expected!

It's all good ...as long as no one looses FACE!!!

[connda]

Nope, I don't care what she gets up to.

I don't own her.

If she wants a bf, new husband, gik ...... up to her.

MaeJoMTB and I are on the same page.

All my Ex's had flings. I divorced all three of the American wives. I refused to divorce the current wife. I told her to have fun and notify me when the new BF got old. It took about 3 months. At her age, nobody is gonna take care of her. She knows it; I know it. Now post-menopausal, and having had her hormones kick the wind out of her sails, we're on the same page too. Romantic love is for kids in order to get them to procreate, and it's that 'romantic' love that causes the jealousy problems. Like I said previously: "I don't feed that dog". Compassion and mutual caring is a better route for us 'over-the-hill' types. We complement each other, and for all the friction and sparks in the relationship, we're better off together than apart. Oh, and it's nobodies business but mine on how I manage my relationship. Sail your own ships; I'll sail mine.

Edited March 11, 2016 by connda

[farcanell]

And it's not just Thai's, it's women!!!

If it's just women, with whom would a wife or gf cheat, or are they all lesbian?

And, if it's just the nature of the beast, it appears you think all women cheat. Yours must be a pretty sad world to inhabit.

I believe more men cheat in a relationship than women; especially in a place like Thailand where desirable women can be had quite easily.

A quick web search came up with a bunch of varying statistics, but one site that seemed credible, shows men are indeed more likely to have an affair.... But it's a close run thing, with the separation being only a few percent different. (57% verses 54%)

That survey was done in the US, and is probably indicative of other western countries statistics, but as to your point that men, in Thailand, commit acts of infidelity on a grander scale... I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you are right.

[RigPig]

Honesty is a trait (part of your nature), doesn't exist here it's the culture, trust has to be earned..... We are ALL where we came from and the concept of honesty, responsibility, consequences has no meaning here. There are no words in the Thai language that express them!!!

[RigPig]

It is what it is, accept it and get on with it, As John Lennon said "What ever gets you through the night..."

[seancbk]

One of the first things I did, when I decided that my GF was the one I wanted to be with, was tell her what my phone password was and tell her if my phone rang she was free to answer it.

I also gave her my computer passwords, showed her my bank balance, explained where my money comes from and how much gets paid into my account from overseas each month.

I explained to her that I was doing this because to me trust and honesty are extremely important.

We are friends on Facebook so she can see all my photos and who I am friends with. I've had some messages from girls pop up on the computer and she's enquired why they are, so I explained they were ex girlfriends and gave her all the details of when/how long/where etc.

I have her phone password, access to her Facebook and Instagram. I've not asked her how much she earns but if I did she would tell me.

We discussed her last boyfriend (Thai guy).

She travels quite a bit for work, when we are not together she sends me regular Line messages and photos letting me know what she's doing and who with.

Basically we can trust each other 100%

It's good to be open and transparent once u have reached a certain relationship level

Still... I do think everyone needs some degree of privacy and separation on some matters

I would be interested to know what things you feel need to be kept private from your partner?

[SoiBiker]

It's surprising how many people on this forum make the error of mistaking cynicism for wisdom, especially when it comes to relationships.

[connda]

Heello,

A relationship is based on mutual trust.

If you don't trust her then leave her.

It's better than always asking yourself where she is, what she does and who is with her. And if you check her phone or her handbag, it's sure that the storm will start in your brain.

Trust works until it doesn't. When it doesn't, then what?

Same with control. Control works until it doesn't. We know what controllers do.

I don't trust, nor do I control. I have none of the problems of a 'Truster' or a 'Controller'.

[BookMan]

It's surprising how many people on this forum make the error of mistaking cynicism for wisdom, especially when it comes to relationships.

They are interchangeable aren't they?

Depends what u beleive

[SoiBiker]

It's surprising how many people on this forum make the error of mistaking cynicism for wisdom, especially when it comes to relationships.

They are interchangeable aren't they?

Cynics believe they are. The wise know better.

[Naam]

Nope, I don't care what she gets up to.

I don't own her.

If she wants a bf, new husband, gik ...... up to her.

MaeJoMTB and I are on the same page.

All my Ex's had flings. I divorced all three of the American wives. I refused to divorce the current wife. I told her to have fun and notify me when the new BF got old. It took about 3 months. At her age, nobody is gonna take care of her. She knows it; I know it. Now post-menopausal, and having had her hormones kick the wind out of her sails, we're on the same page too. Romantic love is for kids in order to get them to procreate, and it's that 'romantic' love that causes the jealousy problems. Like I said previously: "I don't feed that dog". Compassion and mutual caring is a better route for us 'over-the-hill' types. We complement each other, and for all the friction and sparks in the relationship, we're better off together than apart. Oh, and it's nobodies business but mine on how I manage my relationship. Sail your own ships; I'll sail mine.

why do you advertise which sails you have set if you don't want comments?

[farcanell]

Nope, I don't care what she gets up to.

I don't own her.

If she wants a bf, new husband, gik ...... up to her.

MaeJoMTB and I are on the same page.

All my Ex's had flings. I divorced all three of the American wives. I refused to divorce the current wife. I told her to have fun and notify me when the new BF got old. It took about 3 months. At her age, nobody is gonna take care of her. She knows it; I know it. Now post-menopausal, and having had her hormones kick the wind out of her sails, we're on the same page too. Romantic love is for kids in order to get them to procreate, and it's that 'romantic' love that causes the jealousy problems. Like I said previously: "I don't feed that dog". Compassion and mutual caring is a better route for us 'over-the-hill' types. We complement each other, and for all the friction and sparks in the relationship, we're better off together than apart. Oh, and it's nobodies business but mine on how I manage my relationship. Sail your own ships; I'll sail mine.

Well said... Kudos to you, as it sounds like you are right were you want to be... Hopefully the sea will remain calm for sailing. ?

[BookMan]

One of the first things I did, when I decided that my GF was the one I wanted to be with, was tell her what my phone password was and tell her if my phone rang she was free to answer it.

I also gave her my computer passwords, showed her my bank balance, explained where my money comes from and how much gets paid into my account from overseas each month.

I explained to her that I was doing this because to me trust and honesty are extremely important.

We are friends on Facebook so she can see all my photos and who I am friends with. I've had some messages from girls pop up on the computer and she's enquired why they are, so I explained they were ex girlfriends and gave her all the details of when/how long/where etc.

I have her phone password, access to her Facebook and Instagram. I've not asked her how much she earns but if I did she would tell me.

We discussed her last boyfriend (Thai guy).

She travels quite a bit for work, when we are not together she sends me regular Line messages and photos letting me know what she's doing and who with.

Basically we can trust each other 100%

It's good to be open and transparent once u have reached a certain relationship level

Still... I do think everyone needs some degree of privacy and separation on some matters

I would be interested to know what things you feel need to be kept private from your partner?

At this stage of my life? Meeting someone new with no history together?

Off the top of my head...

My financial situation would be private

I have a lot of female friends. I wouldn't be too honest about exact past relationships with some of them. (dependent on the person of course)

I wouldn't be jumping up to explain every message and small going on that happens

She could look at my phone, that's okay.

I wouldn't give her passwords to my emails and bank details.

Neither would i expect to read her emails or have her passwords

When you make trust and honesty such an overtly important issue in the relationship, what happens when some small piece of dishonesty or evasion is chanced upon? It can blow things out of proportion

Everyone has some secrets, most of them trivial.

I also believe people need some space and some private boxes in a healthy relationship