my girlfriend says she cannot manage on 25000 month

[harrry]

@ Ardon,

Yes your English is on the poor side but we do accommodate for all..Happy family...

Did I say Trans was being ripped off....?

Please answer.........

My nickname not Ardon

its ARDOKANO

please read carefully

Did I say Trans was being ripped off....?

i donno

May be you frarang.

you tell me meaning of frarang and i can ansver

and its not my fault if some " being ripped off " in Thailand

PS

just kidding

if seriose.

i do not belive OP.

But if...

Why his need know how much it be? Why need compare with some thai or any another?

His have his income and opinion about life.. This is HIS son.. and:

1So how much HIS can spend for HIS son an his GF with her another children.

2 What type life HIS want for HIS son and how much its costing in Thailand( isaan)

3 How much realy spend His GF and what really give for HIS son from money her get from him

4 How much spend average Thai ( isaan, villige, farmer) family.

Its FOUR DIFFERENT Thinks!!!

Kano.....i think it would be nice to be more respectful of posters...

and rememer this is an english language forum.

He gives plenty....

[thaiduncankk]

@49

he

Do you even live in Thailand ?

I seems you are running out of words to have a conversation

I lived here in Thailand for over T10 years, six of those years was living in Sukhothai in the farm where she was born and raised. I met her here when she was 7 months pregnant from her first marriage which was not legal. The husband died in a accident before knowing she was pregnant with his son. I was there in the hospital when he was born and a few years ago finally was able to adopt him officially. We now also have another son and I treat both of them exactly the same. Whenever people especially Thais find out he isn't my blood and watch him and I together they wonder how I could love him the way I do since he isn't my blood. There was a time I wonder myself but one day I met a Monk and he told me " being able to father a child does not give them a exclusive right to love " I treat and give the same to both of my son.

Today we live in Chon Buri, my wife and I have been through a lot it hasn't been all Sabai, many of the things I speak of we both have been through it and today are better off from it. She understand more how foreigners think and I for sure have found out how Thai think.

You are not Thai.

Once a farang starts listening to, and believing the monks, I am afraid, like yourself, they are losing the plot.

[D3030]

My gf of 5 years with our 2 year old son and 9 year old daughter from a previous relationship says she is struggling to manage on 25k a month,no debt,house,motorbike all paid.

Issan villiage life.

Am I behind the times or is she squeezing me..

Yes... And she also maybe struggling..

She "wants" things or "wants" to do things, she doesn't need to have or do...

So, if you're struggling, give her half that amount!

If she gets mad and says this and that..

Time to leave her.. Or not return..

[CharlieH]

bickering nonsense removed.

please try to stay on topic and dont make personal remarks.

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

8) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities.

9) You will not post inflammatory messages on the forum, or attempt to disrupt discussions to upset its participants, or trolling. Trolling can be defined as the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet by posting controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.

DO NOT use coloured font.

[thailand49]

@49

he

Do you even live in Thailand ?

I seems you are running out of words to have a conversation

I lived here in Thailand for over T10 years, six of those years was living in Sukhothai in the farm where she was born and raised. I met her here when she was 7 months pregnant from her first marriage which was not legal. The husband died in a accident before knowing she was pregnant with his son. I was there in the hospital when he was born and a few years ago finally was able to adopt him officially. We now also have another son and I treat both of them exactly the same. Whenever people especially Thais find out he isn't my blood and watch him and I together they wonder how I could love him the way I do since he isn't my blood. There was a time I wonder myself but one day I met a Monk and he told me " being able to father a child does not give them a exclusive right to love " I treat and give the same to both of my son.

Today we live in Chon Buri, my wife and I have been through a lot it hasn't been all Sabai, many of the things I speak of we both have been through it and today are better off from it. She understand more how foreigners think and I for sure have found out how Thai think.

e

You are not Thai.

Once a farang starts listening to, and believing the monks, I am afraid, like yourself, they are losing the plot.

You are right I am not Thai, one thing for sure if we bump into each other you would not know I was a foreigner except for the way I dress. I speak enough Thai and actually stop learning because I started to hear stuff I just got tired of it hearing.

I've been told by many Thais who knows me " I'm more Thai than Thai " I know a number of girls that work in Go-Go's and worry whenever they bring their customer around me and once their customer realize I'm not Thai and speak English and living here start to ask me questions. The girls get real nervous I might say too much. The tell me I'm Farang Loo Mak = I know too much about Thailand.

Personally, and my wife and son have heard my tandrem and I'm very careful not to give them the impression I hate Thai people, which I don't. But it does get to me at times I can't speak my mind as to how in general Thais treat foreigners, there is a standard for Thais and another for foreigners. In the beginning my wife did not see it but after years she understand it now. In my tandrem they have heard many times the last thing I would ever want to be is Thai!

As for the Monk, I'm the type that will do what is necessary to make my family happy, Since I live here and they are being raised in Thailand, like everyone you want them to learn their culture. So I go to the temple and do what they do at the temple. Years and years I went and got to know this one Monk, real good command of the English language, so we ended up like friends and got talking basically venting to him about many of the frustration. He also knows how I feel about religion and once told him when my number comes and I'm before the man and they ask me " Why I should be let into his kingdom " my answer will be " I done a lot of bad things lots of it and I've done some very good things " If you want to let me in great if you don't that is O.K. ". I also told him you got me buying baskets that just get resold and walking around and around your temple praying in my bare feet and asking for stuff that never happens and when I'm done I find out someone stole my Dr. Scholl.

Just like all these pages of opinions and that includes Monks, Not everything said by a person right or wrong is 100% right. There is always something one can learn from and assuming that the Monk had nothing of value due to their reputation just shows a person has a close mind. I've met a lot of suppose smart people, a lot of politician in my life time, and once was in the room with the Governor of California and heard him say " Don't worry about it the voters are too stupid to figure it out " but this advice from a Monk was something I've never forgotten!

[D3030]

I am due to be in Thailand in 10 days and after all this helpful advice i will be keeping her money at 25k month and explaining why.I have a lot of information now from the answers you have all given if it doesn't satisfy her it has certainly convinced me.

In the past i assumed 3 people every day 500bht thats 15000 month food and drinks,1500 ac electric,500bht water,1000bht school snacks and after school money and the other 7000bht she could do whatever she wanted with it including transport costs,medicine,cosmetics,parents ect.

Thats a lot more than just giving enough money to exist or live the same as her neighbours.

Looks like i have a greedy girl and she's not going to win by extracting more money for no reason other than she thinks she can.

Neither am i going to leave her and miss out on having a good relationship with my son over money issues and throw a 5 year relationship away.

When you break it down, it doesn't sound like very much for just her..

Anyway, I just returned myself. Three months, I sent 25000 baht a month and 9800 baht out of that went for the truck payment..

Now I feel like a cheap bastard..

Anyway, no complaints about money while I was away, in fact there was still baht in that bank account..

Now in the past, different story.. Not one freaking phone call ever went without her asking for money in so many different ways..

How I do it now...

500 baht a day is what I give her for food, when I'm here.. Even if we went into town and bought a bunch of groceries..

She gets money each month that supposed to go into her savings account, but it goes to gold or an upgrade..

Everything else, I pay for..

My TGF still complains about money, not often, but still does..

Quick funny to me.. Went to Big C, her mother started putting stuff in the cart..

They both know that pisses me of to no end..

I guess a 3 months break, it was time to give the wicked mother a few things..

Peace out!

P.S. Wasn't leaving my child either, but the (grandmother) did make it very difficult to stay here for the past 7 years..

Edited May 7, 2016 by D3030

[thaiduncankk]

@49

he

Do you even live in Thailand ?

I seems you are running out of words to have a conversation

I lived here in Thailand for over T10 years, six of those years was living in Sukhothai in the farm where she was born and raised. I met her here when she was 7 months pregnant from her first marriage which was not legal. The husband died in a accident before knowing she was pregnant with his son. I was there in the hospital when he was born and a few years ago finally was able to adopt him officially. We now also have another son and I treat both of them exactly the same. Whenever people especially Thais find out he isn't my blood and watch him and I together they wonder how I could love him the way I do since he isn't my blood. There was a time I wonder myself but one day I met a Monk and he told me " being able to father a child does not give them a exclusive right to love " I treat and give the same to both of my son.

Today we live in Chon Buri, my wife and I have been through a lot it hasn't been all Sabai, many of the things I speak of we both have been through it and today are better off from it. She understand more how foreigners think and I for sure have found out how Thai think.

e

You are not Thai.

Once a farang starts listening to, and believing the monks, I am afraid, like yourself, they are losing the plot.

You are right I am not Thai, one thing for sure if we bump into each other you would not know I was a foreigner except for the way I dress. I speak enough Thai and actually stop learning because I started to hear stuff I just got tired of it hearing.

I've been told by many Thais who knows me " I'm more Thai than Thai " I know a number of girls that work in Go-Go's and worry whenever they bring their customer around me and once their customer realize I'm not Thai and speak English and living here start to ask me questions. The girls get real nervous I might say too much. The tell me I'm Farang Loo Mak = I know too much about Thailand.

Personally, and my wife and son have heard my tandrem and I'm very careful not to give them the impression I hate Thai people, which I don't. But it does get to me at times I can't speak my mind as to how in general Thais treat foreigners, there is a standard for Thais and another for foreigners. In the beginning my wife did not see it but after years she understand it now. In my tandrem they have heard many times the last thing I would ever want to be is Thai!

As for the Monk, I'm the type that will do what is necessary to make my family happy, Since I live here and they are being raised in Thailand, like everyone you want them to learn their culture. So I go to the temple and do what they do at the temple. Years and years I went and got to know this one Monk, real good command of the English language, so we ended up like friends and got talking basically venting to him about many of the frustration. He also knows how I feel about religion and once told him when my number comes and I'm before the man and they ask me " Why I should be let into his kingdom " my answer will be " I done a lot of bad things lots of it and I've done some very good things " If you want to let me in great if you don't that is O.K. ". I also told him you got me buying baskets that just get resold and walking around and around your temple praying in my bare feet and asking for stuff that never happens and when I'm done I find out someone stole my Dr. Scholl.

Just like all these pages of opinions and that includes Monks, Not everything said by a person right or wrong is 100% right. There is always something one can learn from and assuming that the Monk had nothing of value due to their reputation just shows a person has a close mind. I've met a lot of suppose smart people, a lot of politician in my life time, and once was in the room with the Governor of California and heard him say " Don't worry about it the voters are too stupid to figure it out " but this advice from a Monk was something I've never forgotten!

I first came here in 1991, lived here since 2005, I don't believe in Buddhism, and temple visits are restricted to funerals. As far as monks are concerned, the less said, the better.

[jeab1980]

I think you should get off your ass and go there and spend a few months there yourself! Times have changed when we were young and even in Thailand, today kids need what we had and a hundred times more! Sure she could be ripping you off only you know her? Do you think she is doing that?

For whatever reason women in Thailand have been condition to think they must be the bread winners for their parents while in general the guys do nothing. I would be surprise if she isn't helping the parents in some form. Thailand isn't the West!

What I can tell you and I've been in your position asking the same question from afar wondering at the same time I have plenty of money to spend on myself while someone else is raising the kids. Each day whether you are there or not, the more she is married to you or not she becomes more like a farang. She and your kids need the same things you wish for yourself otherwise she might have married and have kids by a useless Thai !

I hear this a lot and it is their opinion that living in Isaan one does not need as much money! I think you have to live there been there in your shoes to know. Looking at the amount you are sending the number of kids and her surrounding I would disagree she is socking a lot of money away on you. Reality thing breakdown, people get sick, kids need toys, clothes, etc... I really need to go on and explain it to you and everyone. Prices are cheaper for some things but not many. What the prices are at Big C, in Bangkok or Pattaya aren't much different in Isaan, car, motorbike, gas, etc.. I've been there particularly in Sukhothai.

You took on the responsibility so do so! Not saying you should now send 100,000 a month. But you might want to cut back on the coffee, beer, etc.. luxury each day you most likely enjoy but don't consider it to be? The money you save you be surprise could translate addition 5,000 or 10,000 baht a month without a loss in your enjoyment!

Thai teachers, some with more kids than her, survive on a lot less than 25,000 baht a month. The kids do not suffer, and most of these families lead quite a comfortable life.

So my advice to her is, to get off her big fat Arse and get a job, if not, go back on the game.

The reality is this... she isn't with a Thai Teacher, living in a Thai matter? She is with a foreigner if she wanted to live like a Thai why in the hell did she have two kids with him. Having two kids with a foreigner the expectation here is to have a better life. Just last year a MP, was quoted in a interview in the Bangkok Post in regards to Isaan women. " if you want a better life marry a foreigner " The truth hurts that is why after the interview he was removed from his office!

The problem is your western thinking trying to apply it here in Thailand. If she was making a living in a bar/go-go, making for example 40,000 a month and someone falls in love with her and want her out of the business. You think love is going to make everything right for her and her family? Most of the time the guy think it does? In Asia, sure love exist but in general unless it is a better or easier life they might as well stick to their own kind. This is a tough concept for foreigners to accept! Sure you might be right get her fat ass back to work, but the BM took that away when he locked her up with two more kids! End of story for me!

For your information, she has ONE kid by him.

Can I ask please why you think she was "on the game" as you so rudely put it. Have you met her

[thaiduncankk]

I think you should get off your ass and go there and spend a few months there yourself! Times have changed when we were young and even in Thailand, today kids need what we had and a hundred times more! Sure she could be ripping you off only you know her? Do you think she is doing that?

For whatever reason women in Thailand have been condition to think they must be the bread winners for their parents while in general the guys do nothing. I would be surprise if she isn't helping the parents in some form. Thailand isn't the West!

What I can tell you and I've been in your position asking the same question from afar wondering at the same time I have plenty of money to spend on myself while someone else is raising the kids. Each day whether you are there or not, the more she is married to you or not she becomes more like a farang. She and your kids need the same things you wish for yourself otherwise she might have married and have kids by a useless Thai !

I hear this a lot and it is their opinion that living in Isaan one does not need as much money! I think you have to live there been there in your shoes to know. Looking at the amount you are sending the number of kids and her surrounding I would disagree she is socking a lot of money away on you. Reality thing breakdown, people get sick, kids need toys, clothes, etc... I really need to go on and explain it to you and everyone. Prices are cheaper for some things but not many. What the prices are at Big C, in Bangkok or Pattaya aren't much different in Isaan, car, motorbike, gas, etc.. I've been there particularly in Sukhothai.

You took on the responsibility so do so! Not saying you should now send 100,000 a month. But you might want to cut back on the coffee, beer, etc.. luxury each day you most likely enjoy but don't consider it to be? The money you save you be surprise could translate addition 5,000 or 10,000 baht a month without a loss in your enjoyment!

Thai teachers, some with more kids than her, survive on a lot less than 25,000 baht a month. The kids do not suffer, and most of these families lead quite a comfortable life.

So my advice to her is, to get off her big fat Arse and get a job, if not, go back on the game.

The reality is this... she isn't with a Thai Teacher, living in a Thai matter? She is with a foreigner if she wanted to live like a Thai why in the hell did she have two kids with him. Having two kids with a foreigner the expectation here is to have a better life. Just last year a MP, was quoted in a interview in the Bangkok Post in regards to Isaan women. " if you want a better life marry a foreigner " The truth hurts that is why after the interview he was removed from his office!

The problem is your western thinking trying to apply it here in Thailand. If she was making a living in a bar/go-go, making for example 40,000 a month and someone falls in love with her and want her out of the business. You think love is going to make everything right for her and her family? Most of the time the guy think it does? In Asia, sure love exist but in general unless it is a better or easier life they might as well stick to their own kind. This is a tough concept for foreigners to accept! Sure you might be right get her fat ass back to work, but the BM took that away when he locked her up with two more kids! End of story for me!

For your information, she has ONE kid by him.

Can I ask please why you think she was "on the game" as you so rudely put it. Have you met her

It ain't rocket science, is it ?

[Bangkokazy]

Sorry

Edited May 7, 2016 by Bangkokazy

[Bangkokazy]

I think you have used for this link:

http://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/country_result.jsp?country=Thailand

[Richard W]

Thai men won't go near a woman who has a kid from someone else; only dumb ass foreigners do.

I've met counterexamples from princes to artisans.

Can I ask please why you think she was "on the game" as you so rudely put it.

It fits the stereotypes. One wonders why the OP keeps his girlfriend in Thailand. Long distance relationships are not convenient.

[thailand49]

I think you should get off your ass and go there and spend a few months there yourself! Times have changed when we were young and even in Thailand, today kids need what we had and a hundred times more! Sure she could be ripping you off only you know her? Do you think she is doing that?

For whatever reason women in Thailand have been condition to think they must be the bread winners for their parents while in general the guys do nothing. I would be surprise if she isn't helping the parents in some form. Thailand isn't the West!

What I can tell you and I've been in your position asking the same question from afar wondering at the same time I have plenty of money to spend on myself while someone else is raising the kids. Each day whether you are there or not, the more she is married to you or not she becomes more like a farang. She and your kids need the same things you wish for yourself otherwise she might have married and have kids by a useless Thai !

I hear this a lot and it is their opinion that living in Isaan one does not need as much money! I think you have to live there been there in your shoes to know. Looking at the amount you are sending the number of kids and her surrounding I would disagree she is socking a lot of money away on you. Reality thing breakdown, people get sick, kids need toys, clothes, etc... I really need to go on and explain it to you and everyone. Prices are cheaper for some things but not many. What the prices are at Big C, in Bangkok or Pattaya aren't much different in Isaan, car, motorbike, gas, etc.. I've been there particularly in Sukhothai.

You took on the responsibility so do so! Not saying you should now send 100,000 a month. But you might want to cut back on the coffee, beer, etc.. luxury each day you most likely enjoy but don't consider it to be? The money you save you be surprise could translate addition 5,000 or 10,000 baht a month without a loss in your enjoyment!

Thai teachers, some with more kids than her, survive on a lot less than 25,000 baht a month. The kids do not suffer, and most of these families lead quite a comfortable life.

So my advice to her is, to get off her big fat Arse and get a job, if not, go back on the game.

The reality is this... she isn't with a Thai Teacher, living in a Thai matter? She is with a foreigner if she wanted to live like a Thai why in the hell did she have two kids with him. Having two kids with a foreigner the expectation here is to have a better life. Just last year a MP, was quoted in a interview in the Bangkok Post in regards to Isaan women. " if you want a better life marry a foreigner " The truth hurts that is why after the interview he was removed from his office!

The problem is your western thinking trying to apply it here in Thailand. If she was making a living in a bar/go-go, making for example 40,000 a month and someone falls in love with her and want her out of the business. You think love is going to make everything right for her and her family? Most of the time the guy think it does? In Asia, sure love exist but in general unless it is a better or easier life they might as well stick to their own kind. This is a tough concept for foreigners to accept! Sure you might be right get her fat ass back to work, but the BM took that away when he locked her up with two more kids! End of story for me!

For your information, she has ONE kid by him.

Can I ask please why you think she was "on the game" as you so rudely put it. Have you met her

It ain't rocket science, is it ?

Yes this isn't rocket science, Please point or quote where I've said she was " on the game " as I rudely put it. Maybe you ought to go back the 10 plus pages and read again because if you want to see remarks on whether she was on the game or not and being rude, I can say I've written and put myself out there more than anyone on this subject. I've been hard on the BM, but he had the balls to remark to me that he like the posting I have made on his subject. Whether I feel he is right or wrong this fact let's me know whatever his reason and he hasn't said for not marrying her and not being in Thailand or his home country I'm sure he has reasons. As I noted shit happens? In the end, I feel he will do the right thing.

[thailand49]

When I hear " Temple visits are reserves for funeral " I say you got to be kidding right! Where have you been and where are you living under a rock?

I've visited Temples throughout Thailand and here in Pattaya, have you seen the Temples there are more here than government offices throughout Thailand! I've heard and seen things in the country but this statement is really funny!

I've tried to be polite and answer all your simple and silly questions that is coming from someone who just doesn't hear what they want from someone else experience. Let me be polite let's just part ways with " agree to disagree " have a good day.

[thaiduncankk]

When I hear " Temple visits are reserves for funeral " I say you got to be kidding right! Where have you been and where are you living under a rock?

I've visited Temples throughout Thailand and here in Pattaya, have you seen the Temples there are more here than government offices throughout Thailand! I've heard and seen things in the country but this statement is really funny!

I've tried to be polite and answer all your simple and silly questions that is coming from someone who just doesn't hear what they want from someone else experience. Let me be polite let's just part ways with " agree to disagree " have a good day.

When I first came here in 1991, as a tourist, I did the temple visits as it was the 'thing to do'.

As buildings, I must confess, a lot of them were very impressive, as far as the spiritual side of it goes, every man for himself.

Now, when you go back to the U.S of A, do you frequently visit places of worship there ? Or is it more a case of been there, done it, got the T shirt etc.

It also makes me laugh, how someone wants to be soooooo Thai rather than the farang he was born, probably feels ashamed to be a farang, and lives in...........................PATTAYA !

[jacko45k]

Her job is being a mother to his children. The reason she is with him is because she doesn't have to get a job! It she had to get a job why would she be with him.

I seem to recall my mother achieved both, and here in Thailand the extended family should make that somewhat easier.

She is with him for the 25k she does get, soon to be more, which helps to fill her time.

If you recall that then you should also recall your mother doesn't live in Thailand. Which has nothing to do with the Thai culture. People have this thing that Asian culture extended family is going to solve everything it helps but it is not what all thing is suppose to be?

If you haven't read the BM has made a decision as to what he plans to do. What I have got from this conversation is lots of people throw out solution they have heard or read about and think it should apply here. What I've learn from my experience it doesn't in general.

m

A BM, ask if I live here. My answer is I've lived here close to 15 years, 5 of those were in Sukhothai in a farm owned by my wife family. We have a son together and when we first met in Sukhothai she was 7 month pregnant. Her first husband died before she knew she was pregnant and he was bored premature with only a 50/50 chance of survival. I was there for the birth and I'm the only father he knows. Several years ago I was finally able to complete the adoption. I treat and look at him as my really son.

All the things I express and what I know the BM will experience in the future I've gone through already and much much more. I wish him the best but he needs to brace himself as to what will come.

Yes very magnanimous and heart wrenching.

But is it relevant to the OP?

Your post seems to be a particular situation you felt obliged to tell all of, but not what was asked.

[CharlieH]

Due to the continued petty bickering, I think this has run its course.

CLOSED.