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Posted
SPLIT COLOSTOMY BAG

sh1tting and spunking

Kayo, for the

"Keep the 3 word Rude - Keep the 3 word in bedlam" Campaign :o

Posted

Three word story so far

Once Upon A

Hill, a man

With a clueless

idea for a

som tam recipe

took out his

cleaver and his

pocketknife, cigar, and

contemplated his task.

his wife asked,

"Why is your

brow so furrowed?"

He laughed and

spat in the

face of a

passing Katoey who

licked her lips,

burped and said,

"mmmm! so good,

tastes like squid!!"

HE said, "when

are you available

as my goat?"

And died suddenly.

Meanwhile the squid

salesman from Pttaya

went to beach (sic),

wiped his backside

on a plank

and sold it

to a pervert

policeman and his

mia noi who

cheated on him

with a GoGo

dancer who had

a simple plan.

What on earth

(40posts) is this story

of sordid sex

getting you going?

Or is it

Just me that

thinks this story

is getting on

the nerves of

the mods who

are, regretfully, impotent?

Anyway, the man

and his wife,

and pet buffalo

decided to walk

to the city

and join a

nieghbourhood watch scheme.

The buffalo was

designated to be

a sacrifice to

bring good luck;

sadly he fell

in a pile

of Som Tum.

Coincidentally, the local

fortune teller and

her scabby cat

were on hand

to pull him

away from the

bloody lottery numbers

(b1tch ruined me)

for a minute,

but then I

remembered the katoey

with big boobies

and no teeth

but very large

furry eye brows.

"Right," he said,

"you're gonna take

it up the

beachroad in PTYA

to the biggest,

hairiest, smelliest backpacker,

and drop it

inside his mingeing...

and ask her...

'Why in God's

heaven did you

say you loved

me, when we

both know I

am a butterfly

(nongwahyay said: I assume the op is going to write a summary of the story at the end of each week, just to make sure we don´t lose track of things)

and I assume

you are katoey.'"

Meanwhile the wife

and her Girlfriend

and her false,

really expensive brassiers

were shopping for

carton of heineken.

(and counterfeit cigs)

Unbeknown to both,

the Kateoy was

looking for meat;

sausages in particular,

when the brassiers

suddenly caught fire,

for no reason

and the fireman

controlled the fire

with a large

bottle of chang

and everybody cheered, "Hoooorah!

Our HEro!" (then)

(and) Hoolie Doolie

out of nowhere

suddenly sprang the (120 posts)

policeman's Mia noi

with his Magnum

secreted in her

fake louis Vuitton

handbag, and yelled,

on the back

of a speeding

songtheaw, " hey you

boobytrapped ugly Katoey!

You're really cute!

Any chance of

you and me

meeting up for

monkey soup and

a small beer,

a wet shag?"

In which order

visiting LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWLLLLANTYSILIO

station,

quite by coincidence,

a heap of

Welsh train spotters

found a sheep,

tied to a

shorttime bar

beside the rear

of a big

ThaiVisa member who

missed one leg

of the European

Baht bus championships.

Still, that did

his spare leg

no good, because,

his third leg

hasd recently turned

red and throbbing

which reminded him...

Just mucking about

can be (a)

worse than wanking.

"In China?", enquired

a confused looking

lad named Dave,

with skid marks,

Who enjoyed jenny's

and the delights

only a Star

could engage in

without losing a

bet to britmaveric.

Meanwhile back at

The Blues Factory,

Dave spotted the

Kateoy, Kurgen was

with, and she

was playfully fondling

his beer condom

While scratching Kurgen's:

-Enormous big willy

-Two big dangling

-Hemarroids that ooze

-two coconuts, plus

(khall wrote "a carton of Heineken (blonco)"

That's 4 words!!!!)

and started caressing

the policeman's Gun

(kayo NOW writes, Christ, you HAVE been doing summaries, <deleted> am i doing this for then...Oh well, I've started now...)

(post 187)

Have we finished

Stuffing the chicken

with used condoms?

Sage and Onion

can itch when

inserted nasally but

open up your

wallet and I'll

put in my

Jack and Danny.

Meanwhile the Buffalo

Contracted a sexually

attractive ladyboy, with

a clarinet coming

in any colour

from his big

very cute eyes.

Meanwhile in a

walking-street grillbar,

Our Hero ordered

two of his

favourite money boys

a thong each

and a big,

gooey splodge of

lovely spotted dick

with some creamy

stuff on top.

Next to this,

whilst sipping MeakhongCoke

the intrepid Trio

went to bed

while Dave,

who had been

at Lucifers disco

seen with a

tin of lubricant

which he carefully

applied to a

fat Germans belly,

"Thanks!" Said the

Colonel and KanWin

to Dave and

his best mate,

Dave looked at

hiring a singer

who murdered a

ass grabbing Swede

who didn't realise

roots (swedes) are veggies

but Dave decided

that he wanted

to meAt britmaveric

and murdering singer

at Soi 6,

singing the Thai-Way

whilst simultaneously removing

an actresses' bikini,

who moonlighted as

a Pattaya Papaya.

meanwhile at Jenny's,

Kurgen and KerryD

were flirting heavily

with Daleyboy and

(a drunk britmaveric)

giggling like schoolgirls,

planning a school trip

But Kerry's rubber

(OP summarises again here, and adds:

kerry's rubber youse people posting in this thread are pretty bored I guess. god help me if I ever get that bored"said the a@#hole)

Contd...

Said the a@shole

while telling alll

how many posts

his dog had

a new post

dangling from Martin's

left ear, "that's

why I never

ask why"

"are you Horny?"

Martin replied proudly

to the sexy

g-stringed wrinkled fossil.

"Me, not married!

I go with

you and aussiecollin;

Have sexy threesome!

up to you!"

SHe replied, very

seductively. Meanwhile

In Oxford everyone

got very excited

about the invasion

of Thai Katoeys (280 posts - getting tired of this now)

to the P1ss-up,

and the boys,

picking their noses,

holding their members

wake up from

a horrid dream

in which they

lived happily everafter

in Phuket Khall

until they moved

back to the

same district again.

But then unexpectadly

who shows up

but the sheriff

and his posse

all riding bareback

on a wobbling,

weeble that wobbled,

drunken female fillie (300 posts)

Tippaporn, together with

the Surin drunks

that hang out in -

unexpectedly, a bright

recovering alcoholic emerged

holding his flask

containg only Gatorade

wearing matching Singha,

smelling similar to

a mini babybell,

thought 'Bell' ahh

we're all drunk

and really bored

so why not

do something like

a bit jugged

old slapper from

Wacko, texas, USA

got out her

huge plastic lubricated

pencil sharpener. Then,

peeled off her

Bandaid. Meanwhile, in

another part of

her huge anatomy,

a tattoo of

snakes writhing sinuously,

eschewing for purposes

not to discharge

(short discussion about thread killing)

Contd..

Finally, the slapper

got to slapping

big, fat thighs,

tenderising farang-connection steaks.

After dinner he,

burped the alphabet

grabbed the girl

and ran away

from yorkies shadow

that stalks him

day and night.

Life goes on

in shadies connection

ith those naughty

girls who liked

other lovely girls.

Rhinoceroses evaded ambush,

being massive-horned.(horny) Knees,

Gone to Phuket,

Beach Road Patong,

Then he died

in the arms

of his muvva

of a headache in his foot

"OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCHCHCHCCHHCCHHCHCHC cha cha!"

"That's cheating Snake!"

said the fat

git in Sulin/

man called Kayo

using his long

stick to poke

in the crevice

of Dan Sai's

Dark and hairy,

Brown, anal retentive

short stumpy finger

into Donzies quacker

eye, and then

Donzie really quacked (up)

(up) the Junction

at Crewe Station

The Elephant Jumped

Up the Boogie,

the monkey got

his Hram out

and started spanking

his own monkey

whilst his mother

married rich farang

with a small

discharge from the

enormous love muscle

tattoo on his

way home from

a progressive party

in the centre

of left/right policies,

good insurance strategies

and enough Viagra,

after the Monkey

to ensure that

weet peas wouldn't

be over cooked

ever again as

forever and ever,

my friend Dilley,

enjoyed wanking with

his left foot

(AND THIS IS WHERE IT GETS MOVED TO BEDLAM???????)

his left foot

which caused cramps

in his brain,

so he pondered

about brain cramp,

drinking his red

ruby delicious wine

for increased libido

but the doctor

mentioned that the

bed was leaking

because of his

split colostomy bag,

large ingrown toenail

(cut your losses, mentions Macb)

split colostomy bag, shitting and spunking,

Kayo sealed that (423 posts before I get mentioned in thiis farce..)

sample for the

huge katoey in

the bedlam section

who is called

kayo by some (and this is what I get

blind punters but

blind painters could

blind painters easily

without quality brushes

with the authorities

as would Pheasant

pluckers not be

the pheasant plucker

able to pluck

my willy out

of Kayo's tight

little left fist

of a <deleted>-sac

BTW, y'all owe me a pizza for that... mine turned a darker shade of Black and my oven is practically on fire...

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