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Posted

Hi,

I have been living in Thailand for several months, in Pattaya,

To be precise and I love the country.

One thing that I cant find is a lady for a long term relationship,

I had a lot of sex but never found real love, a lady genuinly

interested in being with me; (I am 42 years old, in shape, decently attractive.)

The majority of the ladies that I met so far here in Patthaya seems to

be interested to obtain financial help. The other few that i

dated could not speak english and I felt uncomfortable

and bored after a while.

The ladies holding a regular job in shops,

markets, pharmacy etc seems to be not intersted in

a conversation/accepting my advances: it could be the

language barrier as many dont speak english, have already

a farang boyfriend or it could be

that Patthaya is the wrong town to flirt as a "farang " has

maybe a bad reputation .i dont know.

I am almost at the point of giving up looking for

a girfriend and I am considering moving to another place, maybe an english

speaking country like the Philippines.

But I want to ask the forum : has anyone left Thailand and

found better luck finding love somwhere else? Or what city

in Thailand have you find a long term gf or wife?

Thank you

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Posted

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

Posted

I found true love in a small village when I least expected it. It was just my lucky day.

Posted

Met my wife 12 years ago while there on business when she was working at the office of a client of mine. The decent girls can smell the sexpats and she has told me that. All women want a guy who can make a good living. Why wouldn't they?

Posted (edited)

Asking for "real" or true love in Pattaya is like looking for a Rib Eye steak in Mcdonalds.!

Its good for fast food, "quick n easy" and usually pretty cheap.

A good "steak" is harder to find but worth the effort. thumbsup.gif

Get away from the typical "tourist hunting ground" and go look for the real thing in the real Thailand.

Edited by Black Ops
Posted

Thailand is a great place to find love, and very easy.

Finding love with prostitutes and gold diggers from Pattaya, less so.

But not impossible.

Posted

In most areas, I found that 'decent' Thai ladies to be 'boring' and if they have any western aspects to them, I just steer clear of them. Finding someone on your wavelength is more important.

Most of what some call here decent with that education every guy says his girlfriend 'has' here are moot in question.

Most girls I know are too tired after a 12 hour day at work; they come home to watch a Thai Soap dreaming of meeting some buffed Thai guy like what is portrayed on TV and fall asleep. I have two such girls like this living with me now. They never go out, just watch television and work six days a week. On the seventh day, they do their washing and go home to parents.

One has just finished her degree and is 25 and the other one also has a degree from CMU and is 29 working for a bank. Both are extremely attractive. Most foreigners are not going to meet this type of girl as they cannot speak a lick of English and believe me; they live a very dull and lacklustre life.

The Philippines is worse than here; give it a miss - If you cannot score here, you will not be able to score anywhere.

Leave Pattaya for a start. I love Pattaya for the wild times I have had there over the years, coming down from Chiang Mai to have a bit of fun once a year, but to live there, not a chance.

Posted

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Posted

Can you find real love in Thailand Yes. I have met some Bar Girls with more Honesty and integrity than a lot of women in my Own Country. But understand the deal. They all want Security. You are 42 so life still open for you.I am 60 but look younger. Stop looking and you will find it.Bangkok, Pattayya , Phuket that is plastic Thailand. Beyond there you have a better chance. But if you look too hard you will not see the Forest for the Trees

Posted

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

Posted

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Ok, I will gladly go through this again... because it;s so much fun.

No. I pay for outings. That's my thanks to her for.....

Living rent free in her house.

Supplying me with free health insurance.

Putting 1 million for sinsod.

Her parents taking care of the wedding.

Depositing 400k in my bank account for marriage extension....

Posted

Thailand is just as good as any place to find true love

As in quantum mechanics, in love, the act of looking can have the affect of changing the subject and the result.

The truth of the matter is that you will find it when you least expected and not looking.

also when looking for something it is better to look where the lighting is better, How is the lighting in Pattaya? I was there once and did not find it too good.

Posted (edited)

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Ok, I will gladly go through this again... because it;s so much fun.

No. I pay for outings. That's my thanks to her for.....

Living rent free in her house.

Supplying me with free health insurance.

Putting 1 million for sinsod.

Her parents taking care of the wedding.

Depositing 400k in my bank account for marriage extension....

So you do pay more than "a single baht" then? Someone who has to come on this forum and brag about all the supposed "free" stuff, just doesn't ring true. Let me guess, the lady is a hi-so Chinese supermodel who also happens to be a member of Mensa.

Edited by giddyup
Posted

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Ok, I will gladly go through this again... because it;s so much fun.

No. I pay for outings. That's my thanks to her for.....

Living rent free in her house.

Supplying me with free health insurance.

Putting 1 million for sinsod.

Her parents taking care of the wedding.

Depositing 400k in my bank account for marriage extension....

So you do pay more than "a single baht" then? Someone who has to come on this forum and brag about all the supposed "free" stuff, just doesn't ring true. Let me guess, the lady is a hi-so Chinese supermodel who also happens to be a member of Mensa.

You guys are hilarious simply because you live in a massive denial bubble.

No, she is not a hi-so Chinese, what a bunch of nonsense. She is a regular Thai woman with a job.

And what is this "free" stuff you speak of? It's not free, I am just being treated like an equal she married.

Ah.... but here is the catch. Since she is a self sufficient woman that doesn't depend on my handouts I assume she will most likely kick me out if I lie or cheat. Fair enough because I would do the same. She also doesn't tolerate Western alcoholics which is fine with me since I never consume alcohol. So, I am a good catch to her and she appreciates it.

Also, a very important point I need to make. No self respect means you get no respect from a woman.

You give allowance or sinsod to her family instead of yours means you have no self respect and woman won't respect you either, I know it's a rather difficult conclusion for many whipped people to make, but hey!

There. I hope I schooled you a bit on relationships.

Posted

First get out of pattaya. You are in a town that is based on sex where love is paid by the hour. This is sin city and should be treated that way.

Move to Bangkok where you have one million plus halfway educated office girls looking for love who you don't have to pay. It is a goldmine with endless vanes running in all directions.

Posted

You failed to mention how old these girls are working as pharmacists and such that you have shown interest in. Despite what you may have been led to believe, a 25 year old pharmacist is most likely not interested in a 42 year old man (Thai or foreigner). If it is a girl half your age that you are looking for, prepare to pay up.... Or get very lucky.....

Posted

Sure I can move to Bangkok but I doubt the level

of English of the ladies I will.meet there is good

Maybe I am being pessimistic but for my 6 months

experience here in Patthaya very few spoke decent english

Posted

Sure I can move to Bangkok but I doubt the level

of English of the ladies I will.meet there is good

Maybe I am being pessimistic but for my 6 months

experience here in Patthaya very few spoke decent english

What made you choose Pattaya in the first place?

I had never even heard of Pattaya till I came to Thailand.

Posted (edited)

There are tons of attractive single women in Bangkok, and while probably the majority of them don't speak much English, a portion of them do. And I'm talking about regular women, not bar or sex industry types.

The challenge for a single westerner looking for a genuine relationship is finding that kind of compatible woman in a big city where you probably don't know anyone. Looking in bars isn't likely going to get you there, and random chance encounters are, at best, random. There's a variety of online options to sort thru the chaff, but using those will require, a lot of sorting thru the chaff.

I think it's easier if you're working in an office setting where you'll be in contact with Thai (female) co-workers. But if you're retired/not working, you've got to find other ways of coming in contact with the right kind of mate you're looking to meet.

Pattaya, more than likely, isn't going to be the place to do that.

Maybe this will make the point:

Your chances of finding a good, healthy relationship in Pattaya are probably about the same as finding a virgin working in a Walking Street go-go bar. Not impossible, but probably pretty unlikely.

Edited by TallGuyJohninBKK
Posted

Learning to speak Thai will help as you are living in Thailand! I have many friends happily married to bar girls and my wife of 7 years I met in a GO GO bar.

Posted

The OP's original question:

is Thailand a good place to find true love?

No.

As has already been stated ad nauseum, "Thai ladies aren't particularly interested in farangs- unless they're seeking financial security."

I have been in Thailand for 8+ years. Went to "Thai-School" for a year and learned enough Thai to get my needs met. Traveled nearly

everywhere in Thailand and seen numerous Thai/Farang couples. For the most part, they only exist because they are based on the

Thai societal version of what we in the west would classify as "codependence." (- Over dependence on others to make you happy.)

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful ("office") lady for 5 years here in Bangkok. Even after 5 years, and me speaking (limited) Thai

and her speaking comparatively advanced English, there are still communication and cultural barriers that make "True Love," (whatever that

means to you,) - difficult.

Learn to enjoy your solitude and when you can share a "happy-time" with someone - RELISH IT!

Hope this helps, wai2.gif

Posted

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

My Thai girlfriend and me do communicate often mostly in Crapanese. Intellectually a discussion about the meaning of life, Einstein`s theory of relativity or about the gold standard in Thailand would be a very one sided conversation no matter which language we spoke, so I keep it simple like, what`s for dinner today? Or do you think these brown shoes match my green shorts?

But if you`re really serious about meeting a Thai lady and worried about communication then why don`t you make some effort and learn Thai? Once you learn some Thai then you`ll have a lot more women to choose from. Otherwise yes, it may be better for you to go woman hunting in other countries rather then being the stupid Farlang in Thailand who can`t communicate with the girls.

Posted (edited)

Although I am happily married to a Thai-woman, I would have to say "No"... it is not easy to find true love in Thailand.

I think your problem is that you are spending too much energy looking for it. Why not just live life... date loads of girls (thats easy here) and one day you will meet the right one.

Besides that, I think you should be aware that being married to a Thai-woman is a challenge of its own. You will experience MANY misunderstandings due to cultural and language differences etc. But if you are lucky and find a Thai-woman that is decent, hard-working and not a gold-digger, then you will have a very rewarding relationship and fantastic wife.

A Tip: Try to find someone close to your own age and make it clear from the start, what she can expect from you and what you are not willing to do (e.g. support her entire family in the village). If you are very clear from the start, you will have much better changes of success.

Good luck!

Edited by khunpa

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