At Rock Rock Bottom!

[Nam Kao]

>>>In the future don't get legally married again, at least not without a pre-nup

Pre-nups are a good idea, Paul McCartneys lawyers were BEGGING him to get one when he

married that gold digger, but Paul said "No that would not be romantic". I wonder what he is

thinking now.

In the US though - once you have kids the pre-nup is cancelled out and you will be taken to

the cleaners for a good soapy no matter what.

[LaoPo]

Im not sure yet what im going to do, but most likely is that i will move away within the next 4 weeks (korea/japan??)-

Think twice. In 4 weeks it will be bloody cold in these countries...

You'll be feeling much finer and better in a warmer climate.

Make some fun on the beach and send her some sexy pics from you and...........who knows?

Just tell her you are 'just' good friends....

LaoPo

[udon]

Fun, fun, fun.

If you don't talk to a divorce lawyer in the next 48 hrs (it's FREE) everyone who has offered advice, will label you a loser or a troll.

Do you really want that?

Do you want a fresh start with your young life?

Just DO IT!

[Beavis and Butthead]

I vote for troll

[Jamie]

>>>In the future don't get legally married again, at least not without a pre-nup

Pre-nups are a good idea, Paul McCartneys lawyers were BEGGING him to get one when he

married that gold digger, but Paul said "No that would not be romantic". I wonder what he is

thinking now.

In the US though - once you have kids the pre-nup is cancelled out and you will be taken to

the cleaners for a good soapy no matter what.

Wouldn't that depend on who gets placement/custody?

[LaReina]

Here is an idea,

Protect yourself from claims of spousal abuse and take photos of the messages on her phone to her lover.

Get her to admit in public, or on video or in writting or hel_l tape record the conversation of her telling you that she never loved you .. ..

NOW.. file for an annulment of your marriage based on the fact that she entered it for her personal gain. Then stop everything in its tracks.. including spousal support if any might be awarded to her.

Now.. is it possible that this swiss guy did a number on her? Perhaps.. maybe she had the best sex in her life.. and can't get over it.

One thing is for certain, a lot of people walk around with their noses in the air and pretend that their relationships are perfect and in order, and do little to maintain what they have.

I am not blaming you for your martial woes, but next time, you need to pay better attention to any signs. They are usually there if you open your eyes.

[Chang_paarp]

Funfunfun

Welcome to the club. Been there got the t-shirt and the AVO (Aggravated Violence Order) for assaulting her fist with my face, it took 6 months to go to court and the complaint was withdraw as we stood in front of the judge .

I am with the "find other arrangements" school. I would book a holiday on the joint account, or close it. Notify all your financial institutions, landlord, electricity, water get the meters read and move NOW!!

If you chose to stay in the UK, stay in a youth hostel if you have to, get out of the house because your loving EX will find a member of the wimmins movement full of advice, and turn into something you will not recognise as the same lady you have lived with for the last 6 years. She might look the same, but that will be the only thing you recognise.

I would recommend a holiday in Pattaya, Sukhumvit or some place you enjoy and don't even pretend to be PC. Then go to your job in some cold place.

Move on, have a life, and enjoy it.

[Thaddeus]

>>>In the future don't get legally married again, at least not without a pre-nup

As this has been mentioned in this thread a couple times a point needs to be made. (no relevance to the OP, apologies for that)

Unless UK law has changed very recently. A pre-nup is not enforceable in the UK. A Judge in the Divorce Courts may use it as a guideline if he considers it fair (and close to what he was going to do anyway) but he can just ignore it altogether if he sees fit.

[Rinrada]

I vote for troll

Maybe he is maybe he aint but so many readers including yours truly remini-hizz on that day in court when the Beek (Judge) utters those memorable words..

"I award Mrs ***** the sum of £££££" and as I turned to my brief and said..."Nice of Him Init."....

he replied ...Dont think you get the idea ..what he actually means is that YOU have go and see your friendly bank Manager and arrange for a Loan to extend your house so YOU can.....

My BILL will be in the Post .....all the best....

You cant beat them so dont even try... but you can Escape and start again......

O those happy MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE days ...gorra larf.....now

[dgoz]

Is she a good sort?

I'll be in the UK next month.What's her number?

She sounds like a good girl to know for a couple of days.

[wasabi]

Why are there so many posts like this where the wife has proven herself to be a heartless bitch, yet the guy thinks he can get back that lovin feeling through some impossible twist of fate? In these types of posts, it's nearly unanimous that the wife is no good and he should get out. The poster thanks everyone but has long since made his mind up. I'm not insulting you FFF, on the contrary I respect your level headedness and ability to stay sane. However you also need to get out of your romantic fantasy. She is being totally selfish, obsessed with this Swiss guy after a few days boning, there's no excuse for it. It's the opposite of love. A relationship is about two people loving each other, not one person loving twice as much to compensate for the others ineptness.

You are in a complex legal situation, just because you are poor doesn't mean the law won't apply go to a lawyer. One last thing if you had to sign some kind of affidavit of support like we do here in the USA it's actually in your best interest if she becomes a citizen, this is one of the few things that indemnifies you from such documents. Only a lawyer can answer these things though.

[bkkmadness]

Why are there so many posts like this where the wife has proven herself to be a heartless bitch, yet the guy thinks he can get back that lovin feeling through some impossible twist of fate?

Power of the pussy mate.

[helicoptor]

How could you even touch her, knowing she raped your heart, how could you kiss her and taste another man's loins on her lips? Fool, dump that whore on the streets were she belongs. And for your own sake grow a spine and have some respect for your self. Is not your love worth more than that? Are you not entilteld to somone better? I might have killed the bitch. Seriously.... or threated to take a hit on one of her family members unless she leaves and revokes her citizenship rights. Ugh I get a nasty taste in my mouth just reading that story......though I doubt it's quite as bad as the one you have.

did you perchance watch a lot of the 'A-Team' when you were younger? (crazy fool ain't gonna get on no plane, sucka

you do have a point though in that if he still have feelings for this woman, let him take some time to imagine in detail what she got up to with the swiss bloke that should help him to boot her out on her arse worked for me, never looked back - once a cheat always a cheat

[aussiestyle1983]

Come on FunFunFun, its time to wake up and do what is right for you.

All I can say is that after your wife expressed her feelings about " only wanting to use you untill she can find another man " yes that is what she meant, weather or not she used those exact words or not, you should of taken the clue and kicked her out. Weather you love her or not, its gonna be over one way or another. The longer you wait and if you wait long enough and she makes the first move, it will hurt you more financially and emotionally than if you woke up now and took action to protect yourself. All I can say is, end it now. As soon as everything is fianalised ( Most people with common sense would not need to do this to get over someone they love but know is ripping them off ) get on a plane, come down to BKK or Pattaya and have some fun ( that is your screen name isnt it? fun? ) Send you ex some pics of you having fun and start your new life...............

[Couthy]

Funfunfun

Welcome to the club. Been there got the t-shirt and the AVO (Aggravated Violence Order) for assaulting her fist with my face, it took 6 months to go to court and the complaint was withdraw as we stood in front of the judge .

I am with the "find other arrangements" school. I would book a holiday on the joint account, or close it. Notify all your financial institutions, landlord, electricity, water get the meters read and move NOW!!

If you chose to stay in the UK, stay in a youth hostel if you have to, get out of the house because your loving EX will find a member of the wimmins movement full of advice, and turn into something you will not recognise as the same lady you have lived with for the last 6 years. She might look the same, but that will be the only thing you recognise.

I would recommend a holiday in Pattaya, Sukhumvit or some place you enjoy and don't even pretend to be PC. Then go to your job in some cold place.

Move on, have a life, and enjoy it.

In complete agreement here; I had the domestic violence unit at my door - 5 of them eh?.

7 days after it was suggested that she check out and live with the guy she was screwing.

I made sure there were FEMALE witnesses at the time when she was told to sling her hook.

When the wimmin's movement get involved with Asian ladies - for goodness sakes, one thinks of walls and firing squads.

(My Grandmother was the first women to ever be granted a government scholarship to go to UNI in UK and she was most certainly not a 'feminist' - but she believed in the vote and education for all - regardless of who you are - she lost 4 of her 5 daughters due to the piss poor health care in the UK in the 30's and what did she do?. She tried to change the system - but didn't sue anybody or expect anything other than her own efforts).

Every single thing that my ex said was contradicted in three different statements, to the police twice and to the prosecuter: The single sign of a liar is that they cannot remember the story as it is only a story.

Court threw it out and charged her costs.

Woman domestic violence officer got a telling off from the magistrate.

I went for a pint after that escapade and really, really enjoyed it.

Then went home and told the lodgers. (Females.)

They bought me a bottle of wine.

Get your bills sorted, get out - forget her, and go far away.

You need space away from the immediate environment. It works.

Go-go-go!.

Cheers,

Couthy.

[udon]

once a cheat always a cheat

Yep, a leopard can't change it's spots...

[farangsay]

once a cheat always a cheat

Yep, a leopard can't it's spots...

change , Udon , you forgot change.

PS are you sure ?

[London Crocodile]

It’s over, pure and simple. She’s already told you so.

It’ll be hard on you to start with, but remember there are plenty more fish in the ocean.

First thing you need to do is see a lawyer. Listen very carefully to what they say.

She’ll be seeing one as well if she hasn’t done so already.

It sounds like she’s using you as a safety blanket. Be careful. Most divorces start nice and friendly then rapidly deteriorate once lawyers get involved.

Do not get into a fight. One legal trick is to find any excuse to get a domestic violence order against the husband. Once that happens, you’re on a loser in court.

Start looking for accommodation elsewhere.

Whatever happens, get the divorce and start enjoying life again.

Good luck.

You should read this, then read it again, then read it again.

Best advice you will get.

Cheers and good luck mate.

[udon]

once a cheat always a cheat

Yep, a leopard can't it's spots...

change , Udon , you forgot change.

PS are you sure ?

Thanks...... too early for my tiny brain.....

[Maizefarmer]

You said it yourself: the problem is that she can meet and get so infatuated with a guy over a space of 48 hrs that not withstanding the fact she is married, she was firstly, quite happy to jump into bed with him, and secondly, conclude from that 48 hr expriance that her previous 6 years plus in a full time committed relationship with someone else was worth throwing away.

I think that mentality sums up her true colours and switch off my heart thinking mode and go into brain thinking mode, I can't think of a bigger "red flag" scenario.

But what baffles me is that it has taken so long for this aspect to her character and personality to show through.

I can only think that in the fullness of time the novelty of the experiance will wear off and she'll come back to earth with a bump, in which case she may well be knocking on the door at some point in the future expressing remorse, or there will be no change of heart which is as close to "bar girl" behaviour as one is likely to experiance in any relationship - and in which case, take it from me after 20 twenty of living here: you will have lost nothing. If anything, although it may take a long time to sink in, you will come out of the experiance alot tougher and a lot wiser.

But thanks for your honesty and openess - I certainly wouldn;t have the courage to share something like this in the detail you have.

I wish you the best. Now don't let it drag you down

Tim

Edited November 7, 2006 by Maizefarmer

[Nam Kao]

>>>>Wouldn't that depend on who gets placement/custody?

Well in the US the woman always gets custody, unless she was really really messed up,

crackhead, Manson family member ect

[Khleerm]

While it takes two to tango, it only takes one to walk out. And we all know that walking out leaves one half of the couple feeling betrayed.

That being what it is, for those in a similar pickle who want to heal and evolve emotionally past this pain, I would strongly urge them to bury their minds in a copy of Eros and Pathos.

No more wiser book on love and the complexities it engenders has ever been written [at least that I am aware of]. Yet you can get through this 135 pages of wisdom in what will become a profoundly insightful week. Trust me too, when I say there's a very good chance it will resonate with the OP such that he'll probably reread it immediately. It is THAT GOOD!

[Jersey_UK]

At Rock Rock Bottom!,

The good news is that you are not at Rock Bottom ..............the bad news is that Rock Bottom is yet to come .

Read the replies. Again.

And then go and see a lawyer to at least find out your options - cos' you want to avoid having her as a Financial Millstone around your neck (that will get boring, very quickly) and also you don't want her having the ability to later withhold a divorce (you may want to get married again! ) - I would do this before leaving the country (which I think is a great idea), as you will probably want to come back at some point and the last thing you want waiting for you is several court orders or judgements against you.

No problem in still having feelings for the Woman, just wake up and smell the coffee - she has already moved on, she's just living with you. (whether this is a good thing, a bad thing or something you want or don't want is immaterial - it's happened, sorry dude).

Whether you try and spike her chances at the Homo Office only you can decide...............plenty of options if you were going down the nasty route - but in the long run (for yourself) probably not really worth the bother.

[Nam Kao]

Fun, get as much * as you can while u still can

thats what i do when i see the end coming

-nam

[Rumourz]

If she said she doesn't love you anymore, I guess you just have to take the words from her then. File for a divorce and move on from there. At least she is being honest. There's no point trying to reconcile in this case. Damage has been done. Live with it and move on. You are still young, there are plenty of girls out there. Life is short, don't torture yourself...

[mcd]

The op got banned?

[TAWP]

Being stupid must now be against the rules. That's gonna cut the userbase short.

[roguegirl]

The op got banned?

For what crime?

[London Crocodile]

The op got banned?

For what crime?

For being honest i would imagine, a crime on this forum it seems.

[BKK90210]

The op got banned?

For what crime?

OR from posting A FICTION - on non fiction forum?