laolover88 Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 A zillion words of nonsense have been written about Love. In daily life it pretty much comes down to a reciprocal interpersonal care, interest and concern for each other. Obviously things like trust and honesty, sensitivity and awareness of feelings, an ability to talk about anything, disagreements without rancor, sex, children, economic mutuality and so on come into it. In the "West" most of this is centered on the couple. In Thailand you have to take into account both the close and extended family, many of whom expect an unconditional love and respect which extends far beyond their childrens' marriage.I have said I think my wife both passionate and violent but these attributes extend to her behavior with the whole extended family.Her obligation to love her family has been ingrained from birth. Because Thais are Thais I am not "her family", in spite of the years and children. In Europe she would be (and is) constrained by a set of acceptable behavior. Not so here! I am often reminded of the phrase "running amok"!! It seems to me women here are so repressed and insecure while men are spoiled brats. Not a bash! But in my view not a good basis for "Love"..Attempts to understand! Views please!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverSure Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Do you think western women are actually capable of Love, in the Western sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeab1980 Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 "It seems to me women here are so repressed and insecure" I can not identify there. Very easy statement to make. As for your question yes is my answer love is love wether in Thailand or Europe. Love of husband is very diffrent from love of family can not compare both in one breath. So turn question round can European man really love and understand Thai lady???. We argue as mist couples do at start it was not good him culture talk about argument settle argument before bed. My culture not talk about it say nothing maybe all night so no more bad talking. Solution we found husband talks about it says what he feels (says not shouts or argue about aurgument) I listen but say nothing next day all OK kiss and cuddle. We all have to bend a little even more so if married into diffrent cultures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happynthailand Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 not "NO" but Hell NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaiLai Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 No - for sure!!! Even the ones that have been and still are in a long term relationship would think nothing of 'moving onto the next one' immediately if things went south, seen it happen......very strange. It's all to do with being kept / supported / taken care of, as soon as that stops - game over, 20 year relationship forgotten about in a couple of days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oxo1947 Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 (edited) Honestly--you guys just want to lighten up a little, since I have been living here, I have found that Thai Women just love a farang with a sense of humour, ...........and apparently there's nothing more hilarious than having a few million baht in the bank....................... Edited May 10, 2016 by oxo1947 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 yes absolutely! thai woman can love! a thai couple ( both thai) is quite similar to a foreign couple( both foreigners) in terms of romance and relationship. But in the other hand, a farang-thai couple is not about love, but more about ฿ and $. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiBiker Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 I think they are. I'm not so sure about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 I think they are. I'm not so sure about you. but but but she throws the first punch.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lannig Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 By defintion, no. Different culture, different way of loving. And I'm not even thinking of the many things that can interfere with genuine feelings in a thai-farang couple. Such as money, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeab1980 Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 You all have a money obsession. Every time it comes to money you must all be very shallow or very not good looking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bwpage3 Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Foolish answers as always. Ask yourself why you came to Thailand? Was is the floods? The drought? The corruption? People that are always so negative are the ones that have no idea what a real relationship is whether western or in Thailand. Is love 2 people caring for each other in the most spectacular way? If it is maybe you are not doing your 50%? If you are, you already know the answer to the ops post. Of course love is possible. When you have love and respect and treat any woman equally you can have love regardless of nationality. I am amazed every day how much my wife is still in love with me, so I can tell you it is possible if you are doing the right things as a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 well depends how much you are spending on them, they can't eat your love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaalle Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Haha guys come here and date girls way out of their league and who´s main focus is money and then precede to declare millions of Thai women are incapable of love. Look outside the dating sites, the nightclubs, the bars etc etc. There are hordes of girls and women who have their own money and on top of that integrity and pride, they are looking for emotional stability in a relationship, not economic stability provided by a boyfriend/husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeegee Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Yeah lots of excuses about money. Derogatory nonsense too. One worth picking up on is culture... or how "they are from another culture." I am not at all convinced by this. Human society develops out of cooperation. It's how cultures develop as people try to live and work together, social beings that they (most of the time) are. Therefore, it stands to reason that two social beings from two different cultures who are trying to live and work together are also able to develop. The human anatomy comes first, not culture: it dictates that we are also emotional beings when it pumps a chemical into our blood stream and we go into fight or flight mode... that's survival from the days long before there was any "culture", as of course is the same for procreation. No, sir, if she loves him then she loves him as a woman loves a man, and if he can't see that I feel sorry for his wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsensam Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Do you think western women are actually capable of Love, in the Western sense? absolutely. my parents had a long and loving marriage, my brother and male friends are all in long term, happy loving marriages. i dont get where this western women bashing comes from, though i suspect it's because certain males who have had unsuccessful relationships and seek to blame the other party. i have many educated, professional and basically wonderful female friends in the west Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeegee Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 i suspect it's because certain males who have had unsuccessful relationships and seek to blame the other party Thai, Westerner. Martian, sheep. A bad workman always blames his tools. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhys Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 OK...which way does a rooster drop its eggs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZBill Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 They will if you're worth loving. Just sayin........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 (edited) Mine literally smothers me with love. I have to chase her away, sometimes. Really! She is very traditional about marriage. I tend to take advantage, and sometimes I get impatient, but we are a good couple. If they love you, you will definitely know. If you are not sure...then watch out. I would not want it any other way. The answer is, there are still a few good ones. Edited May 10, 2016 by slipperylobster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronimo Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Buddhists try to remain emotionally detached, so no, I doubt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nausea Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 Depends how you define "Love". You could say that "Love" is a primeval human emotion that defies logic. So, in that sense, all women are capable of the same love regardless of culture. Of course, most relationships are not based on that kind of love, so cultural, financial, and other considerations, come into play. Others might even say that love is an illusion, a perpetually unstable relationship where you never quite get what you're seeking. But what do I know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 (edited) Looks like a lot of people here rushed into a loveless relationship. Many people grab the first thai woman and marry way to quickly, no love really to begin with. Then they wonder why things go pear shaped after the honey moon period. Take your time and have a long relationship before marriage, spend time examining every inch of the closet for hidden skeletons. Common sense is hard to find in a new relationship when things are shining bright, marry after the lights dim and she still shows you feelings. Edited May 11, 2016 by Blackheart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laolover88 Posted May 11, 2016 Author Share Posted May 11, 2016 I should try and elaborate a bit!. I believe my wife does love me and loves the children. But her love is circumscribed by her family: mother, father elder brother her love for whom is based more on duty than spontaneous emotion. Her love for the children is constrained by her determination to control them otherwise they will not learn to became good Thais and a requirement that they are subservient to her. I raise the children in a "European" way and she says that is not helping them to be "strong"! We used to have squabbles about the fact that I picked them up too much. And, of course, she subscribes to the simple belief that a husband looks after his wife economically and that is the basis of love. Marriage has been looked at as an economic or political arrangement for centuries in many places, so you can't complain about that. What I have found slightly unsettling over a couple of decades, and not just in my family, is the sense that personal relationships mirror that patronage/patronized relationship in the wider society. Realised I cannot spell actually!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stradavarius37 Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 What an asinine thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagnabbit Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 Foolish answers as always. Ask yourself why you came to Thailand? Was is the floods? The drought? The corruption? People that are always so negative are the ones that have no idea what a real relationship is whether western or in Thailand. Is love 2 people caring for each other in the most spectacular way? If it is maybe you are not doing your 50%? If you are, you already know the answer to the ops post. Of course love is possible. When you have love and respect and treat any woman equally you can have love regardless of nationality. I am amazed every day how much my wife is still in love with me, so I can tell you it is possible if you are doing the right things as a man. I agree. For those saying no - do you not realize that already shows you disrespect them. That you are the reason you arent getting any love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 Perhaps its a point missed on expats who have cut ties with their own families back home, but this idea of love extending to parents and siblings, the extended familiy responsibilites and caring for the wider family is alive and well in British society. If it is something you missed out on or walked away from do not conclude it does not exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petermik Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 You all have a money obsession. Every time it comes to money you must all be very shallow or very not good looking. I,m very good looking,ask any bargirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 Two thais marry, they have no cash, obviously love is the case. A woman marries you and believes money is the backbone of the relationship,well that is a woman raised with little moral values that will show in other aspects of her behaviour. If marriage was not rushed this would have all become apparent before you married her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 What an asinine thread Good job weve got your reply so we can realise that then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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