How much dowry/sin sot are you supposed to pay for your wife's hand?

[mfd101]

When my partner (male) and I got married in a village ceremony in 2013, his Mum wanted 200,000฿. I said: Well I'm already building you a house costing me 1.5M. What do you want, house or dowry?

There was much cackling of laughter at this and we settled on 100,000. All fine.

[akentryan]

Paid nothing. Wife's family from Nakhon Si Thammarat. One sister of the wife married another American and he paid nothing. A third sister will eventually marry a German national and he will pay nothing. Maybe where they come from makes a difference?

[F4UCorsair]

You're not buying her hand. You're buying the soft bits between her hands when they're by her sides.

[F4UCorsair]

When my partner (male) and I got married in a village ceremony in 2013, his Mum wanted 200,000฿. I said: Well I'm already building you a house costing me 1.5M. What do you want, house or dowry?

There was much cackling of laughter at this and we settled on 100,000. All fine.

I'm surprised she had the nerve to ask. I'm surprised you were foolish enough to shell out anything on top of US $50K, or even that you copped that.

[vasudev]

I went to the home of an ex before and the parents were asking for sin sod ,they kept saying Thai culture ,I said if they respect mine I will theres ,agreed ,then they said they wanted 1 million,and they wanted to have big party and 300 guests ,I said ok ,you now have to pay for marriage and party and a dowry of 1 million . They didn't want to respect my culture,a week later I single ,I pity the next man in her life

ha ha ha,,,seems my story, i did same thing too

[scotchonrocks]

Ancient tradition kept alive in the modern age incentivised by the profit motive.

Culture should not be about money changing hands.

And anyway, as noted in here, it is supposed to be gifted back by the parents to help the new marrieds on their way. Buckley's chance today I would guess.

Oh how I hate the attitude of people in this

country towards money. It's a part of the new culture that is most distasteful.

[bridge2bridge]

I gave NOTHING although her sister asked for 200,000 Baht, mother NOTHING.

Just as well we divorced after three years, when i found out she was ripping me off.

[sead]

It's about how much you trust her.

100 000 for every %

10%= 1 million bht

25%= 2,5 million bht

[bridge2bridge]

My two cents... I wasn't very comfortable with the concept although did want to respect tradition. My wife is the youngest of three girls. The older two are married to Thai guys, one paid 100,000, one paid 200,000. I paid 200,000 and my wife offered to pay half but I said no. I hear stories of people paying none which I think is ok in some cases. I hear stories of people paying 1 million + which personally I think is way too much and maybe a little bit ego driven. I think its more important to respect the parents with something, then look after them in their old age just like your own parents, if they need it.

I don't mind giving them a little each month.

But not a upfront lump payment.

[mfd101]

When my partner (male) and I got married in a village ceremony in 2013, his Mum wanted 200,000฿. I said: Well I'm already building you a house costing me 1.5M. What do you want, house or dowry?

There was much cackling of laughter at this and we settled on 100,000. All fine.

I'm surprised she had the nerve to ask. I'm surprised you were foolish enough to shell out anything on top of US $50K, or even that you copped that.

I guess different people have different views on what's important in life, and on how to maintain a marriage, and on how to live in a foreign culture ...

[rijit]

Enough for the family to maintain 'face' but not enough to damage your pocket.

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[Khon Kaen Dave]

Before we married my gf and i discussed this.She was 40 years old,married once (deceased) 1 child now 15. I met her in the Asia Hotel in Bangkok,she was out on a staff party,they all worked for the Adidas Company.Anyway,we moved to pattaya and had a successful bar for 5 years.During that time,we decided to marry.I had been up to the village a few times and met the mother and the daughter and you could sense that they thought they had won the lottery.She made it quite clear that the only woman i was going to take care of was her.As for the sinsod.My wife told me "give them nothing,thats what she gave me when i was young."We had a buddha ceromony in the village everybody had a good time.But thats all i ever paid for.

[chicowoodduck]

This thread had been beaten to death but still provides me with so much entertainment.....??

My first and last coin operated gf was asking for a million baht..they can still hear me laughing all the way up in Udon....???? Told the entire family at a nice sit down dinner to stop dreaming! Came back with a counter offer of zero.....I matched it....???

[12DrinkMore]

Ancient tradition kept alive in the modern age incentivised by the profit motive.

Culture should not be about money changing hands.

And anyway, as noted in here, it is supposed to be gifted back by the parents to help the new marrieds on their way. Buckley's chance today I would guess.

Oh how I hate the attitude of people in this

country towards money. It's a part of the new culture that is most distasteful.

"Culture" in this context is not about being cultured, or part of a "cultured society".

We need this definition.

the way of life, especially the general customs and beliefs, of a particular group of people

So corruption, pack of dogs behaviour, misuse of religion for personal gains, abuse of power and wealth, lying, going to abysmal lengths to save face, having a constant imbecilic smile, brainless actions, selling daughters all form a part of Thai culture that we live with everyday.

[goonnerone]

give <deleted> all sin sot it not even a Thai tradition they nicked it from the Chinese its just another scam to get more money out of a farang

[jacko45k]

Couple of thousand baht for the hand.

Probably 10 grand a leg.

The rest is negotiable.

Some parts can only be rented.

[12DrinkMore]

When my partner (male) and I got married in a village ceremony in 2013, his Mum wanted 200,000฿. I said: Well I'm already building you a house costing me 1.5M. What do you want, house or dowry?

There was much cackling of laughter at this and we settled on 100,000. All fine.

I'm surprised she had the nerve to ask. I'm surprised you were foolish enough to shell out anything on top of US $50K, or even that you copped that.

I guess different people have different views on what's important in life, and on how to maintain a marriage, and on how to live in a foreign culture ...

I reckon that "maintaining a marriage" requires an equal contribution from both parties. Presumably your partner, being male, has made a significant contribution to your parents' lifestyle?

[dirtycash]

you pay nothing , zilch !!!

only a complete retard pays a sinsod . fact

[DrTuner]

I can handle the negotiations for you for a mere 20% of the lump sum. Wouldn't happen to have any interest in old French statues, btw? I've got one to sell in NYC, special price just for you my friend.

[khunPer]

OP: »Do you pay more if she's a hi so and less if she's a bar girl?«

Probably yes.

Sin sot is a question of negotiation and the status of the families – including some "make face" – presumably you will find less filthy rich hi-so Thai-Chinese girls in the bars, than you meet poor Isaan farmer-girls..!

An Isaan farmer girl sin sot is often within the range of around 150,000 baht and up to the million area – if the girls family can squeeze that out, remember girls tend to marry up in status – whilst the highest hi-so sin sot I know about is 100 million baht; and I think it actually was only for engagement, and on top a big diamond ring...

[tails]

OP: »Do you pay more if she's a hi so and less if she's a bar girl?«

Probably yes.

Sin sot is a question of negotiation and the status of the families – including some "make face" – presumably you will find less filthy rich hi-so Thai-Chinese girls in the bars, than you meet poor Isaan farmer-girls..!

An Isaan farmer girl sin sot is often within the range of around 150,000 baht and up to the million area – if the girls family can squeeze that out, remember girls tend to marry up in status – whilst the highest hi-so sin sot I know about is 100 million baht; and I think it actually was only for engagement, and on top a big diamond ring...

I don't mean to disagree with you at all, I'd just like to add for the op's benefit that in some cases there isn't a negotiation at all. My wife's parents simply said to me "up to you, we just want you both to be happy". Maybe I was one of the lucky ones in that regard.

Always interesting to see different views on things like this. I know some of the regulars on here are probably bored with this topic but hey, it's not going away so I guess they just need to accept that people will continue to ask....

[obi1970]

Yet another sinsod topic ?

This has been done to death many times ------------------Use the search function.

if you dont want to read about the persons sinsot quistion than dont open the post or are you just a troll !!!!!

[mfd101]

When my partner (male) and I got married in a village ceremony in 2013, his Mum wanted 200,000฿. I said: Well I'm already building you a house costing me 1.5M. What do you want, house or dowry?

There was much cackling of laughter at this and we settled on 100,000. All fine.

I'm surprised she had the nerve to ask. I'm surprised you were foolish enough to shell out anything on top of US $50K, or even that you copped that.

I guess different people have different views on what's important in life, and on how to maintain a marriage, and on how to live in a foreign culture ...

I reckon that "maintaining a marriage" requires an equal contribution from both parties. Presumably your partner, being male, has made a significant contribution to your parents' lifestyle?

So if I give my partner toast with marmalade for breakfast today, he has to give me toast with marmalade tomorrow?

[Davekavo]

You are not Thai,this is NOT for farang this is only for Thai people.If family or girl insists,walk away because

you will be paying for the rest of your life.

[Davekavo]

pay nothing you are not Thai

[siamcrut]

Just to make her parents feel good in their village I'd suggest:

If she's below 30 and without previous kids

200-500.000 THB.

(Remember, the money will be the parents retirement fund, there isn't a government pension fund)

Anyway, for a 30 year old one with kids from a previous relationship, well go figure...!

You really do want to get married? Think again.

Good luck!

[richard_smith237]

A highly variable discussion... there is no right answer and experiences a very different.

IMO: Mutual respect requires a little compromise on both sides.

My perspective.

Wife - 3 years younger than I (30 when we met). We were introduced through a good Thai friend of mine.

Wife is reasonably well educated: Thammarsat Masters Graduate, excellent English,

Family (and Wife) are from Bangkok.

My Wife has worked for International Companies and more recently as MD for her family business.

Her family are relatively Wealthy and own their own business.

They are fairly Well respected and have a good network of contacts and friends (Thai cabinet members at the wedding etc)

Sin Sod was 400,000 baht - Thats all I offered - it was accepted and returned after the wedding.

Wedding guests - Approx 1000 ppl.

Wedding Costs - Approx 1.3 Million baht.

Wedding Costs were recovered from the 'Envelope Money' (Wedding gifts).

Everyone is happy - a mutually respectful and caring relationship exists between myself and in-laws.

Now that In-Laws have a Grandson they visit whenever they like, about 3-4 times per week.

I'm happy that they feel comfortable visiting so regularly.

[Doc46]

It depends on how much of a Sod you are,,,I paid 0 Baht and have a happy wife /Gf no probs.

[rijit]

You are not Thai,this is NOT for farang this is only for Thai people.If family or girl insists,walk away because

you will be paying for the rest of your life.

Rubbish, sounds like you need to up the 'standard' of person you mix with.

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[Fairynuff]

Pay sod all...and tell 'em to sod off