How much dowry/sin sot are you supposed to pay for your wife's hand?

[ozyjon]

I told the family i would pay them in installments,

they (mama, an ex bar girl i later found out) agreed

but i stalled, as the relationship grew so did the

shopping list, i complied, but eventually slowed to

inevitably stop, absolute gold diggers so i left,

never payed sin sot, it's not a Thai tradition, it's

a way to scam money and many fall for it, they

should pay the government 50% tax on it.

Learn Thai history and culture.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I am glad to read that I'm not the only moron who didn't pay sinsod.

[Howitzer]

Keep re-reading the words "pay for your wife's hand" until you realize how idiotic and antiquated that sounds and I am sure you will come to the answer yourself.

short for 'hand in marriage' a phrase made up by i guess an idiot

[Bangkokazy]

Thai lady deserves a dowry of 100,000- 300,000 baht. A dowry of a million baht for an uneducated lady of modest means is just ridiculous. Thai dowry prices fall drastically if your bride-to-be has been previously married, already has children, or is not a virgin anymore. In fact in most of these instances, no dowry deserves to be paid.

ladyboy you do not pay for

[rgs2001uk]

Love reading the replies from the Thai experts, who in all honesty cant speak a word of Thai, have never been involved in negotitaions, and just paid up.

How many of you have actually been involved in the process?

Not so long back the Buffalo Special rolled into town at Mor Chit, khun por and khun mair rocked up with Issan silk in tow to wow the prospective brides parents.

I sat as the dumb farang as things were being thrashed out, wais were given and recieved etc etc etc, but no one got to the point.

I was asked what I thought, I said no need for sin sot, if you truely love this girl, keep your money, spend it on an education, then after you have landed a decent job, you come back and talk to me.

Big, "oh lors" all round.

Somcahi has never been seen again.

Little Lek finished her Uni and got a job starting at 25k baht per month, now earns about 50k per month.

She in now engaged to some guy earning way more.

[rgs2001uk]

Thai lady deserves a dowry of 100,000- 300,000 baht. A dowry of a million baht for an uneducated lady of modest means is just ridiculous. Thai dowry prices fall drastically if your bride-to-be has been previously married, already has children, or is not a virgin anymore. In fact in most of these instances, no dowry deserves to be paid.

ladyboy you do not pay for

Talk to the Thais, the going rate is 10 times her salary.

EG, if the girl earns 30k baht paer month, the sin sot will be 300,000-400,000.

Not mentioned, the girls mother doesnt get to keep it.

Geographical Warning, the above is for Bkk only, what happens upcountry is up to you.

[thehelmsman]

I am glad to read that I'm not the only moron who didn't pay sinsod.

So......you agree that you're a moron. Really shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

[rgs2001uk]

I am glad to read that I'm not the only moron who didn't pay sinsod.

So......you agree that you're a moron. Really shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

Oh LOL hilarious, says the guy who doesnt even live here.

Just another FIFO.

[Bangkokazy]

They are easy to understand many are leaving this website, with a queried goal.

no one here can answer that, mostly sits them with a hand in your pants and jerking off on others mysly

[TJR4ASR]

Dont pay if you dont want to. My wife told me I dont have to,but I did.only 60k baht. But I dont care. I dont do much when I'm there except pay for bbc.I truly care for her family. It doesn't matter if you give the money or not, you pay slowly over the years. Be it mom and dad's electric bill, water bill it will be something. Just have a serious meltdown on them the first time they take or sell anything and that stops.give an inch they will take a mile. Just be happy and love your wife.

[TJR4ASR]

Chill

[DrTuner]

Inflation has definitely hit the bride market. Isaanites in my wife's village used to go for 50-100k a pop a decade ago, now the remnants that are still left won't hear about it under half a million. On the bright side, price per kilo has remained almost the same.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Inflation has definitely hit the bride market. Isaanites in my wife's village used to go for 50-100k a pop a decade ago, now the remnants that are still left won't hear about it under half a million. On the bright side, price per kilo has remained almost the same.

Sounds like a bkk condo market.

[Skeptic7]

ZERO. I've got both hands, both legs, head and everything in between without the ridiculous ritual of marriage...nor the ripoff tradition of "sin sot".

[joskeshake]

I didn't payd nothing for dowry, she/they should be happy they can marry farang man,who take cares of her and probably few kids

[neverdie]

This subject seems to get people all worked up. Those who need a definitive answer just arent going to get it. It all depends on the people involved and what they want. I didnt pay anything but that is a little bit unusual and as they say my wife in different.

I gave my in laws 350 goats, 7 horses, 3 elephants, 500 deer, 21 rattlesnakes, 4500 honey badgers & 25,000 gerbils and a partridge in a pear tree and for my trouble they left me Mrs Nd & did a runner in my limited edition turbo tuk tuk. The one with a GT stripe & fluffy dice hanging from the mirror.

Worse still they keep sending me pictures of the tuk tuk parked at the tops of high cliffs and threaten to push it over if I try to return the misses.

Worse again, this has been ongoing for 3 decades now.

[GOLDBUGGY]

Many of the posts here make it sound like a Dowry (Sin-Sod) in Thailand is some crazy Thai Trick that Thai Women use to screw more money out of you, like a Bar Girl asking for Lady Drinks. Yet they plan to Marry her.

Try to understand this! A Sin Sod is a Thai Tradition that goes back Centuries. It is not some crazy trick invented by the Mother-in-law to screw more money out of the Farang. This Thai Tradition applies equally to a Farang and his Thai Bride as it does to a Thai Man and his Thai Bride. There is no set figure on what the Sin Sod should be just like there is no set figure in how much one should spend in the West on and Engagement Ring, as it depends a lot on what you can afford and how rich they are.

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary. I know people spend less than that but this is the standard rule of thumb. For a Sin Sod (Dowry) the standard rule of thumb is between 3 months to 5 months salary. But then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family. .

Again this is only a Standard Rule. If you were marrying someone more wealthy then you would be expected to spend more on a Sin Sod. Just like you would be expected to do if you married someone more wealthy in the West and was buying an Engagement Ring. See! Same Same! Only Different!

It should also be noted that the Dowry (Sin Sod) was not invented by the Thais. In fact there are many more countries and people in the world who pay a Dowry now then the ones that don't, and like in the West. Most, if not all, Arab Countries pay a Dowry. As does India and also China. I am sure there are plenty more countries but with these countries this takes well over 66% of the worlds population. Here is a LINK about China and there men not affording to be able to pay the $24,000 for a Bride.

http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/

It is these guys that come here to this threat and boast that they did not pay a Sin Sod, like they are some hero, that is actually sickening. It would be like me going to a Western Form and bragging how I didn't buy my Wife and Engagement or Wedding Ring, but instead used a Bread Wrapper Twist Tie as her ring. You certainly give the rest of us a Bad Name and fully earn my vote as "Cheap Charlie".

[GOLDBUGGY]

I went to the home of an ex before and the parents were asking for sin sod ,they kept saying Thai culture ,I said if they respect mine I will theres ,agreed ,then they said they wanted 1 million,and they wanted to have big party and 300 guests ,I said ok ,you now have to pay for marriage and party and a dowry of 1 million . They didn't want to respect my culture,a week later I single ,I pity the next man in her life

Well, the way I see it you got what you paid for then.

Which was absolutely nothing!

[vukovar77]

Many of the posts here make it sound like a Dowry (Sin-Sod) in Thailand is some crazy Thai Trick that Thai Women use to screw more money out of you, like a Bar Girl asking for Lady Drinks. Yet they plan to Marry her.

Try to understand this! A Sin Sod is a Thai Tradition that goes back Centuries. It is not some crazy trick invented by the Mother-in-law to screw more money out of the Farang. This Thai Tradition applies equally to a Farang and his Thai Bride as it does to a Thai Man and his Thai Bride. There is no set figure on what the Sin Sod should be just like there is no set figure in how much one should spend in the West on and Engagement Ring, as it depends a lot on what you can afford and how rich they are.

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary. I know people spend less than that but this is the standard rule of thumb. For a Sin Sod (Dowry) the standard rule of thumb is between 3 months to 5 months salary. But then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family. .

Again this is only a Standard Rule. If you were marrying someone more wealthy then you would be expected to spend more on a Sin Sod. Just like you would be expected to do if you married someone more wealthy in the West and was buying an Engagement Ring. See! Same Same! Only Different!

It should also be noted that the Dowry (Sin Sod) was not invented by the Thais. In fact there are many more countries and people in the world who pay a Dowry now then the ones that don't, and like in the West. Most, if not all, Arab Countries pay a Dowry. As does India and also China. I am sure there are plenty more countries but with these countries this takes well over 66% of the worlds population. Here is a LINK about China and there men not affording to be able to pay the $24,000 for a Bride.

http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/

It is these guys that come here to this threat and boast that they did not pay a Sin Sod, like they are some hero, that is actually sickening. It would be like me going to a Western Form and bragging how I didn't buy my Wife and Engagement or Wedding Ring, but instead used a Bread Wrapper Twist Tie as her ring. You certainly give the rest of us a Bad Name and fully earn my vote as "Cheap Charlie".

I think people like you give the rest of us Bad Name,cos. they think we are all stupid to pay Sin Sod.It is for Thais only!!!I would consider myself worthless if I must pay for my wife!!!

[GOLDBUGGY]

You're not buying her hand. You're buying the soft bits between her hands when they're by her sides.

The Love Handles???

[GOLDBUGGY]

OP: »Do you pay more if she's a hi so and less if she's a bar girl?«

Probably yes.

Sin sot is a question of negotiation and the status of the families – including some "make face" – presumably you will find less filthy rich hi-so Thai-Chinese girls in the bars, than you meet poor Isaan farmer-girls..!

An Isaan farmer girl sin sot is often within the range of around 150,000 baht and up to the million area – if the girls family can squeeze that out, remember girls tend to marry up in status – whilst the highest hi-so sin sot I know about is 100 million baht; and I think it actually was only for engagement, and on top a big diamond ring...

I don't mean to disagree with you at all, I'd just like to add for the op's benefit that in some cases there isn't a negotiation at all. My wife's parents simply said to me "up to you, we just want you both to be happy". Maybe I was one of the lucky ones in that regard.

Always interesting to see different views on things like this. I know some of the regulars on here are probably bored with this topic but hey, it's not going away so I guess they just need to accept that people will continue to ask....

So what did you pay?

In Thailand "Up-to-you" does not mean nothing. Most Bar Girls will tell you that if you are new to Thailand in hopes of getting a price above the standard price. They certainly don't want to come to your hotel room for the night and expect the next morning you give them nothing.

[GOLDBUGGY]

Many of the posts here make it sound like a Dowry (Sin-Sod) in Thailand is some crazy Thai Trick that Thai Women use to screw more money out of you, like a Bar Girl asking for Lady Drinks. Yet they plan to Marry her.

Try to understand this! A Sin Sod is a Thai Tradition that goes back Centuries. It is not some crazy trick invented by the Mother-in-law to screw more money out of the Farang. This Thai Tradition applies equally to a Farang and his Thai Bride as it does to a Thai Man and his Thai Bride. There is no set figure on what the Sin Sod should be just like there is no set figure in how much one should spend in the West on and Engagement Ring, as it depends a lot on what you can afford and how rich they are.

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary. I know people spend less than that but this is the standard rule of thumb. For a Sin Sod (Dowry) the standard rule of thumb is between 3 months to 5 months salary. But then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family. .

Again this is only a Standard Rule. If you were marrying someone more wealthy then you would be expected to spend more on a Sin Sod. Just like you would be expected to do if you married someone more wealthy in the West and was buying an Engagement Ring. See! Same Same! Only Different!

It should also be noted that the Dowry (Sin Sod) was not invented by the Thais. In fact there are many more countries and people in the world who pay a Dowry now then the ones that don't, and like in the West. Most, if not all, Arab Countries pay a Dowry. As does India and also China. I am sure there are plenty more countries but with these countries this takes well over 66% of the worlds population. Here is a LINK about China and there men not affording to be able to pay the $24,000 for a Bride.

http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/

It is these guys that come here to this threat and boast that they did not pay a Sin Sod, like they are some hero, that is actually sickening. It would be like me going to a Western Form and bragging how I didn't buy my Wife and Engagement or Wedding Ring, but instead used a Bread Wrapper Twist Tie as her ring. You certainly give the rest of us a Bad Name and fully earn my vote as "Cheap Charlie".

I think people like you give the rest of us Bad Name,cos. they think we are all stupid to pay Sin Sod.It is for Thais only!!!I would consider myself worthless if I must pay for my wife!!!

Thai Men pay Sin Sod to. Get Real!

Do you consider yourself worthless when you buy and Engagement Ring or Wedding Ring for your future wife in the West?

Second thought...forget about it. I don't want to know. There are Cheap Charlies in the West to.

[stevensg]

Up to you actually,

I pay bt100k in cash and some gold jewelleries.(as of Singapore Chinese custom)

I also pay for the traditional wedding ceremony,a wedding dinner (toh chin) of 35 tables and stage performance.

That was all stated when I propose the marriage.

But my in laws give me back the bt100k and gold jewelleries to my wife at the wedding ceremony.

But I buy them 2 rai of land (bt100k)in wife name to build house on.Pay for materials(bt50k) and in laws build a house for us to stay when we visit.

Now planning to build another house for retirement stay.

But that was 8yrs ago.

[Bangkokazy]

Sin sod is like buying a car, you are not satisfied with her then replace her, with something you like...

[laolover88]

Nothing. But she has, when I die, a guaranteed income, well above the Thai average, for life; which probably means 40+ years. ie. 24 millionB or so. My friends call her a Princess. I call her an Heiress. Ain't the British Government generous!? Of course she can't remarry! But Thais not fussed about that, are they?

[Bangkokazy]

Why should you give away that you've saved and you might not get back.

Edited May 13, 2016 by Bangkokazy

[GOLDBUGGY]

Nothing. But she has, when I die, a guaranteed income, well above the Thai average, for life; which probably means 40+ years. ie. 24 millionB or so. My friends call her a Princess. I call her an Heiress. Ain't the British Government generous!? Of course she can't remarry! But Thais not fussed about that, are they?

I am just wondering that if this woman you married was British, and you were back in the UK, if you would buy her a Wedding Ring and yet still leave her your Pension?

I am just trying to figure out why someone would spend big money on a Rock, that is also used in cutting other rocks in Oil Exploration,which is a UK Tradition, but not the same amount of money on a Thai Tradition which helps out your In-laws and shows respect to the family and there tradition.

[F4UCorsair]

When my partner (male) and I got married in a village ceremony in 2013, his Mum wanted 200,000฿. I said: Well I'm already building you a house costing me 1.5M. What do you want, house or dowry?

There was much cackling of laughter at this and we settled on 100,000. All fine.

I'm surprised she had the nerve to ask. I'm surprised you were foolish enough to shell out anything on top of US $50K, or even that you copped that.

I guess different people have different views on what's important in life, and on how to maintain a marriage, and on how to live in a foreign culture ...

I guess different people want to be ripped off by mercenary in laws.

I've lived in several Asian countries, Indonesia, Cambodia, Japan, and respect their culture, but I don't have to adopt it, e.g., in Japan I refused to bow to anyone, and asked that they not bow to me. I felt uncomfortable having people bowing. It's just not my culture. Even the Japanese realize it's an anachronistic practice, and it happens less often in modern Japan.

In Indonesia, and Thailand, I'm happy not to point as westerners do with a forefinger, summon somebody with my hand pointing upwards, or point my feet toward anyone, because they feel it's offensive. I can't subscribe to the dowry/sin sod thing because whilst there is nothing offensive about it to them, it is offensive TO ME!!! They don't seem to respect my culture????

If a westerner has to continually shell out to maintain his marriage, he's nuts, and the wife/family is using him as an ATM.

Go ahead suckers, pay a fortune for a (perhaps former, if you're lucky) bar girl. It's not my way.

Edited May 14, 2016 by F4UCorsair

[F4UCorsair]

You're not buying her hand. You're buying the soft bits between her hands when they're by her sides.

The Love Handles???

Not quite.....a little further toward the centre!!

[HLover]

Wikipedia:

Dowry: Uneeded but welcome funds paid by a dopey man to a bloodsucking flea at the prodding of her useless relatives.