Problems With Wife

[Maxwell Smart]

I work in high tech industry and transferred to BKK 5 years ago. Shortly after my arrival I met a beautiful girl of 24 in a pool bar, I was 34. I dated her and became very attached immediately. Shortly after that, I asked her to move in with me and quit work. She was making 3 or 4K/mo plus tips in the bar so I gave her 20K monthly to compensate. She lived with me so all her living costs were covered plus I took her shopping anytime she wanted for clothes, jewelery or whatever. I make a lot of money so it's no problem for me. We lived together for a year and would go out every night and play pool so we were living well and I was complacent with her. After the year was up, I was transferred abroad and had to leave her behind. Little did I know but living without her would be unbearable. So I moved to a nearby country and she stayed behind and went back to work. I left her with about 70K be4 I left but did not send any cash in the next month.

After a month working abroad I realized that I could not live without this girl. I called her all the time and finally got her to come visit for a few days but this was not enough. I had met and been with some girls in my new country but it was not the same. I loved the Thai girl and could not live without her. I came back to visit after a year of working and spent a few weeks with her. During this time I asked her to Marry to which she said yes. In the meantime I was transferred yet again to a 3rd world country half way around the world. I arranged to Marry 6 months after my transfer and came back to Thailand at that time and we married. She came with me to my new country but she became very bored quickly and went back to Thailand. I got her to come back again but after a few weeks the same thing happened and she went back again. During this visit to me, I decided to have a look in her phone and noticed that she was talking to someone overseas. I didn't think too much about it but it did stick in my head. In the meantime, I gave her 5 million baht to build a house in her village.

I kept in touch with a few BKK friends by email and got one from a guy who said that he had seen my wife exiting a disco with a man. I asked the friend if he was sure it was her and he said absolutely. So basically I figured out that she was with the European man whose phone number was in her phone. I probed her on this but she said it was the bf of her friend who was at bar with her that night.

I came to bkk to visit her the next month and things were not well cause I suspected she was lying and told her so. She was furious at the friend who tipped me off and continued to deny. I decided to run more phone checks but found nothing. Then I hacked into her email by guessing her secret question to get her password. This is where I found out the story about the Euro man. I found that she planned to marry him even though she was married to me already! I made her come clean and she said that she met the guy in the bar after I left the 1st time and that he was good with her and gave her money without her asking. She also said that she loved me and did not love him but that I did not offer to give her money she needed to complete her house but that this man did.

Bottom line is that she did marry the man but says she does not love him. She loves me she says. I do still love her. I told her to make her choice, me or him cause I cant go on like this. Thus far she has not made her choice. She seems to be trying to hold onto both of us and do a juggling act. She has been to this man's country a few times I have discovered. He also visits her here. What should I do?

[SK1972]

Dump her fast before she gets all your assets, that's obviously what kind of woman she is. It's crystal clear from your post, can't be any clearer than that.

She is just after your money and everyone elses for that matter. You will be much better off without her. No brainer there. Time heals all wounds.

Think with your correct head and not the wrong one. You used Maxwell Smart for a username, then act SMART then.

Sorry if this is a little blunt/direct but it's just so obvious without having to think about it.

The truth hurts doesn't it?

Edited November 9, 2006 by SK1972

[Wolfie]

Dig around the forum, theres loads of similar threads with similar situations...

... we've heard this story a million times already this week!

[Rajah]

I told her to make her choice, me or him cause I cant go on like this. Thus far she has not made her choice. She seems to be trying to hold onto both of us...

... because she can get money from both of you.

I love this stories.

[donna]

very sad story.

very mean girl.

[PhilHarries]

Is this the 5th example in the last two weeks of guys having women problems?

Hey mods, we need an agony aunt section.

As Wolfie said, dig around the forum you'll find the answers.

You're already 5 Mil ++ out of pocket, you now know you can't trust her unless YOU keep 24/7 surveillance on her how the hel_l are you going to trust her again?

[Maxwell Smart]

Dump her fast before she gets all your assets, that's obviously what kind of woman she is. It's crystal clear from your post, can't be any clearer than that.

She is just after your money and everyone elses for that matter. You will be much better off without her. Time heals all wounds.

Think with your correct head and not the wrong one. You used Maxwell Smart for a username, then act SMART then.

Sorry if this is a little blunt/direct but it's just so obvious without having to think about it.

The truth hurts doesn't it?

well many friends recommend this and in fact I did break off with her for a few months. She kept coming in to my hangout spot while I was visiting bkk and I caved in. I got back with her, bought her flowers and tried to be a sweet guy. I told her I want her to call this guy in my presence and finish with him. She said she needs time and will not do this right now. In the meantime I am working out of the country again and will be back early next year

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I work in high tech industry and transferred to BKK 5 years ago. Shortly after my arrival I met a beautiful girl of 24 in a pool bar, I was 34. I dated her and became very attached immediately. Shortly after that, I asked her to move in with me and quit work. She was making 3 or 4K/mo plus tips in the bar so I gave her 20K monthly to compensate. She lived with me so all her living costs were covered plus I took her shopping anytime she wanted for clothes, jewelery or whatever. I make a lot of money so it's no problem for me. We lived together for a year and would go out every night and play pool so we were living well and I was complacent with her. After the year was up, I was transferred abroad and had to leave her behind. Little did I know but living without her would be unbearable. So I moved to a nearby country and she stayed behind and went back to work. I left her with about 70K be4 I left but did not send any cash in the next month.

After a month working abroad I realized that I could not live without this girl. I called her all the time and finally got her to come visit for a few days but this was not enough. I had met and been with some girls in my new country but it was not the same. I loved the Thai girl and could not live without her. I came back to visit after a year of working and spent a few weeks with her. During this time I asked her to Marry to which she said yes. In the meantime I was transferred yet again to a 3rd world country half way around the world. I arranged to Marry 6 months after my transfer and came back to Thailand at that time and we married. She came with me to my new country but she became very bored quickly and went back to Thailand. I got her to come back again but after a few weeks the same thing happened and she went back again. During this visit to me, I decided to have a look in her phone and noticed that she was talking to someone overseas. I didn't think too much about it but it did stick in my head. In the meantime, I gave her 5 million baht to build a house in her village.

I kept in touch with a few BKK friends by email and got one from a guy who said that he had seen my wife exiting a disco with a man. I asked the friend if he was sure it was her and he said absolutely. So basically I figured out that she was with the European man whose phone number was in her phone. I probed her on this but she said it was the bf of her friend who was at bar with her that night.

I came to bkk to visit her the next month and things were not well cause I suspected she was lying and told her so. She was furious at the friend who tipped me off and continued to deny. I decided to run more phone checks but found nothing. Then I hacked into her email by guessing her secret question to get her password. This is where I found out the story about the Euro man. I found that she planned to marry him even though she was married to me already! I made her come clean and she said that she met the guy in the bar after I left the 1st time and that he was good with her and gave her money without her asking. She also said that she loved me and did not love him but that I did not offer to give her money she needed to complete her house but that this man did.

Bottom line is that she did marry the man but says she does not love him. She loves me she says. I do still love her. I told her to make her choice, me or him cause I cant go on like this. Thus far she has not made her choice. She seems to be trying to hold onto both of us and do a juggling act. She has been to this man's country a few times I have discovered. He also visits her here. What should I do?

[Maxwell Smart]

Is this the 5th example in the last two weeks of guys having women problems?

Hey mods, we need an agony aunt section.

As Wolfie said, dig around the forum you'll find the answers.

You're already 5 Mil ++ out of pocket, you now know you can't trust her unless YOU keep 24/7 surveillance on her how the hel_l are you going to trust her again?

I'm holding out hope that she can finish with this guy once and for all. She says she loves me and not him.

[SK1972]

You need more self restraint and will power. Stop hanging out where you used to, change your phone and stay in a different hotel etc. If this woman wants your money, she will know how to get it......probably with sob stories etc.

IMO, it all boils down to YOU. You let her do this to you, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

Move to another country and have break all contacts with her (email, cell phone, phone etc).

Mark my words, you will end up losing more than money....get a divorce PRONTO, what are you waiting for? For her to come back to you? She will keep doing this (having affairs) because she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger. Don't be sooooo stupid.

I reiterate.....think SMART like your name.

Edited November 9, 2006 by SK1972

[SK1972]

She says she loves me and not him.

Bloody hel_l, if you are really that DUMB, no one else can help you.

Are you putting me on? You believe a woman who lies to you and is ######ing someone else? What are you? A complete moron?

Edited November 9, 2006 by SK1972

[Maxwell Smart]

Yes I did break all contact except that she knew where to find me at my hangout. I did ignore her there also but as I said, I caved after a few weeks. I love being with her but I can't take this fact that she has this other guy

[SK1972]

Will you listen to yourself for christ's sake?? You are making a whole load of excuses. Did you read what I said at all?

You need more self restraint and will power. Stop hanging out where you used to, change your phone and stay in a different hotel etc. If this woman wants your money, she will know how to get it......probably with sob stories etc.

IMO, it all boils down to YOU. You let her do this to you, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

Be a man!

What do you like about her? The fact that she is screwing someone else on the side, lies to you through her teeth and wants all your money? That's love? Wow, she really must love you a great deal.

I think you need to find out what love is really about......and grow up. I hate weak men.

Edited November 9, 2006 by SK1972

[OneeyedJohn]

please move it to the Ladies forum....I don't think us chaps can take much more of this

PS that really is me in <<<avatar.

Edited November 9, 2006 by OneeyedJohn

[PhilHarries]

Is this the 5th example in the last two weeks of guys having women problems?

Hey mods, we need an agony aunt section.

As Wolfie said, dig around the forum you'll find the answers.

You're already 5 Mil ++ out of pocket, you now know you can't trust her unless YOU keep 24/7 surveillance on her how the hel_l are you going to trust her again?

I'm holding out hope that she can finish with this guy once and for all. She says she loves me and not him.

She is a pathological liar straight up, no messing, no sh1t.

Tell you what, get your post translated into Thai, print a couple of hundred copies and stick them up round Bangkok and Pattaya. Gives the bar girls hope and shows them that holy grail punters really do exist.

Or........

Do I detect the odour of a large troll?

[SK1972]

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Stephen Leacock

[lannarebirth]

I tend to believe what most posters write here, because I don't understand what would motivate a person to post things that are untrue. That said, this story is just very hard to believe. It's as if you've gone down a checklist of things to include in the story that are guaranteed to elicit the most reponses, whether sympathetic or scornful.

My apologies if I've judged you incorrectly, and if so I suggest you scan the past few pages in this forum. You'll find similar situations listed and the responses.

[SK1972]

Every man is a ###### fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.

Elbert Hubbard

That's enough for a quickie I guess.

"The only thing that ever consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them."

-Oscar Wilde

Edited November 9, 2006 by SK1972

[pumpuiman]

She married you...and the other guy....WAKE UP !!! She is in it for the money, and playing you for a fool ( which I happen to believe you are )

This is a classic bar girl scam, if you dont stop now....you deserve eveything you get (or lose) in the future.

[Donnyboy]

I work in high tech industry and transferred to BKK 5 years ago. Shortly after my arrival I met a beautiful girl of 24 in a pool bar, I was 34. I dated her and became very attached immediately. Shortly after that, I asked her to move in with me and quit work. She was making 3 or 4K/mo plus tips in the bar so I gave her 20K monthly to compensate. She lived with me so all her living costs were covered plus I took her shopping anytime she wanted for clothes, jewelery or whatever. I make a lot of money so it's no problem for me. We lived together for a year and would go out every night and play pool so we were living well and I was complacent with her. After the year was up, I was transferred abroad and had to leave her behind. Little did I know but living without her would be unbearable. So I moved to a nearby country and she stayed behind and went back to work. I left her with about 70K be4 I left but did not send any cash in the next month.

After a month working abroad I realized that I could not live without this girl. I called her all the time and finally got her to come visit for a few days but this was not enough. I had met and been with some girls in my new country but it was not the same. I loved the Thai girl and could not live without her. I came back to visit after a year of working and spent a few weeks with her. During this time I asked her to Marry to which she said yes. In the meantime I was transferred yet again to a 3rd world country half way around the world. I arranged to Marry 6 months after my transfer and came back to Thailand at that time and we married. She came with me to my new country but she became very bored quickly and went back to Thailand. I got her to come back again but after a few weeks the same thing happened and she went back again. During this visit to me, I decided to have a look in her phone and noticed that she was talking to someone overseas. I didn't think too much about it but it did stick in my head. In the meantime, I gave her 5 million baht to build a house in her village.

I kept in touch with a few BKK friends by email and got one from a guy who said that he had seen my wife exiting a disco with a man. I asked the friend if he was sure it was her and he said absolutely. So basically I figured out that she was with the European man whose phone number was in her phone. I probed her on this but she said it was the bf of her friend who was at bar with her that night.

I came to bkk to visit her the next month and things were not well cause I suspected she was lying and told her so. She was furious at the friend who tipped me off and continued to deny. I decided to run more phone checks but found nothing. Then I hacked into her email by guessing her secret question to get her password. This is where I found out the story about the Euro man. I found that she planned to marry him even though she was married to me already! I made her come clean and she said that she met the guy in the bar after I left the 1st time and that he was good with her and gave her money without her asking. She also said that she loved me and did not love him but that I did not offer to give her money she needed to complete her house but that this man did.

Bottom line is that she did marry the man but says she does not love him. She loves me she says. I do still love her. I told her to make her choice, me or him cause I cant go on like this. Thus far she has not made her choice. She seems to be trying to hold onto both of us and do a juggling act. She has been to this man's country a few times I have discovered. He also visits her here. What should I do?

are you sure you didnt take this story from Stephen Leathers book "Private Dancer"?

my boy Maxwell, wake up and smell the coffee. You better cut your losses and run before you get in too deep and someone dies from a crime of passion and the other ends up on the front page in one of the Thai papers.

[Maxwell Smart]

I swear on a stack of bibles that my story is 100% true. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction

[Douggie Style]

You sound genuine and a hard worker too, probably very good at what you do.

However have you ever considered your partner is equally as good at what she does?

Now if I came to you and said 'my hard-disk has a virus' and you told me ' Look the only way to clean it is to wipe the whole disk' and I said 'Well I can't do that, it's got my photos, addresses and memories' what would you say?

'It's painful but there's no other way'

Each man has to follow his own course and bear his own pain.

However here, before you lays the entire collective wisdom of Farang/Thai girl relationships (aka the barfly chronicles), use it wisely.

Good luck!

[Jockstar]

Is this serious? Come on. Mate, pull your head out you arse. Are you for real?. Little Noi or whatever her name is playing both you and this other guy. Seeing who will pay the most. ###### her off and find a better girl. BTW you wont find good girls in pool bars. USUALLY!

Edited November 9, 2006 by Jockstar

[Dennis M]

I don't believe this guy. How blind can you be???

[SK1972]

I swear on a stack of bibles that my story is 100% true. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction

If it is really true, then you are on of the MOST stupid person I have ever met......and stubborn too.

Are you that ugly or desperate that you cannot find someone else?

From what I see from your postings here, you don't really want advice, you just want someone to tell you what you want to hear...which is that the bitch is worth it and to stick around. This is not likely to happen as no one is THAT stupid.

Edited November 9, 2006 by SK1972

[Axel]

...I left her with about 70K be4 I left but did not send any cash in the next month.

.....In the meantime, I gave her 5 million baht to build a house in her village.

..... She also said that she loved me and did not love him but that I did not offer to give her money she needed to complete her house but that this man did. ....

A few points from your original post. Seems the 5 millinwas not enough.

No further comments.

[Donnyboy]

I don't believe this guy. How blind can you be???

Love is blind they say.

wonder how long the love will last after the cash has run dry?

well if your story is true, its not that unusual. So, take some of the advice and your gut instinct and go with that....

and after that, youve got a great base for a novel about how these go go girls can fleece farang!!

[Maxwell Smart]

Axel, she did say that she needed more money to complete the house. I also want to state that she bought a new condo but says that she got a loan for that purchase. I dont know if I should believe that she got this loan or paid cash received from the other guy.

Oh and donnyboy, she never was a go go girl

Edited November 9, 2006 by Maxwell Smart

[SK1972]

Reiteration...........

From what I see from your postings here, you don't really want advice, you just want someone to tell you what you want to hear...which is that the bitch is worth it and to stick around. This is not likely to happen as no one is THAT stupid.

She may not be a go go girl but she is definitely a "go go get all his money girl!"

Edited November 9, 2006 by SK1972

[Donnyboy]

5 million baht for the house in the village?

crickey! 500,000 would have been plenty. I guess the 4.5 million left would have been for the house warming party! chok dee!!