Sometimes I just can't understand Thai mentality.

[anotheruser]

Assuming there is a shared, singular, all-encompassing, one-size-fits-all Thai mentality is part of your problem.

Start thinking of Thais, as you would of individual people in your home country, as individuals.

If someone in your home country says or does something quirky, you don't immediately think of what they did or said as farang mentality. Even in Thailand we all know rational, normal farangs despite the depressing impression of "farang mentality" one could take away from reading so many posts on TV.

Trust me, we are Thai....

[cyberfarang]

Unfortunately the lady car driver has got no chance of being compensated for the damage, the girlfriend of Faz has no moral compass and is just trying to save face rather than admit she`s in the wrong.

I say to Faz, let this be a clue to her character and a warning not to jump in at the deep end and marry it. Someone like her can never be trusted and will always be willing to step over other people and put her own interests first. Let this incident be a warning sign of her stubbornness and bad character. The writing is on the wall, only will Faz be able to read it?

[Ireland32]

I always heard in Isaan, if Bike hits person, bike fault, if car hit scooter, car fault, if truck hit car, truck fault...

[samsensam]

had a chat with thai friends and all agreed if someone runs into the back of you it's their fault, so not 'thai' mentality. they are all educated professionals so maybe that makes a difference to thinking?

[nickcar]

I always heard in Isaan, if Bike hits person, bike fault, if car hit scooter, car fault, if truck hit car, truck fault...

I always understood this was so in BKk also. The largest vehicle is at fault. As for understanding women, never have understood one of them, regardless of which culture they came from. As for never being wrong, i always describe the female members of my family, including my sisters and my daughters as "they may be many things but wrong is not one of them"

[Monkeyrobot]

Thai women spend most of there driving time looking in the rear mirror at themselves and not at the road, good luck with this one.

[Laughing Gravy]

No , that is not Thai mentality . that's your girlfriend's mentality . By the way , does she have driving license for car , or even a motor cycle ?

The law is very clear but hard to say about common sense on this. Anyway , she is your girlfriend and you should know her better , she happens to be Thai doesn"t necessarily means she represents all Thais.

Btw , I am not a Thai apologists nor Thai basher , just my two cents worht of thoughts!

I will have to disagree this is a Thai trait in many, Not all but I have seen this countless times. The face saving, not taking responsibility for their actions.

I have had 4 people run into the back of me in cars/trucks and besides one they all tried to blame me.

Not Thai bashing but a very perceptive observation. I know Thai Law and if someone hits someone in the rear, it is your fault automatically. So why still tray and blame someone else?

Edited June 16, 2016 by Laughing Gravy

[Issanman]

I always heard in Isaan, if Bike hits person, bike fault, if car hit scooter, car fault, if truck hit car, truck fault...

But they all drive as if the larger vehicle always has the right-of-way.

[kannot]

Assuming there is a shared, singular, all-encompassing, one-size-fits-all Thai mentality is part of your problem.

Start thinking of Thais, as you would of individual people in your home country, as individuals.

If someone in your home country says or does something quirky, you don't immediately think of what they did or said as farang mentality. Even in Thailand we all know rational, normal farangs despite the depressing impression of "farang mentality" one could take away from reading so many posts on TV.

youll be telling us next all black people are white

[kannot]

No , that is not Thai mentality . that's your girlfriend's mentality . By the way , does she have driving license for car , or even a motor cycle ?

The law is very clear but hard to say about common sense on this. Anyway , she is your girlfriend and you should know her better , she happens to be Thai doesn"t necessarily means she represents all Thais.

Btw , I am not a Thai apologists nor Thai basher , just my two cents worht of thoughts!

I will have to disagree this is a Thai trait in many, Not all but I have seen this countless times. The face saving, not taking responsibility for their actions.

I have had 4 people run into the back of me in cars/trucks and besides one they all tried to blame me.

Not Thai bashing but a very perceptive observation. I know Thai Law and if someone hits someone in the rear, it is your fault automatically. So why still tray and blame someone else?

sorry perceptive observations not allowed on TV

[kannot]

youre right the girlfriend uses the normal "Thai get out" excuse , she was too close, first rule is to allow enough space to stop in any conditions.

The law will say that if you hit a vehicle from behind, then you are automatically at fault, but there are times when it would be unfair

to blame the person who hit the vehicle traveling in front. Think about it.

unfair and the law are two different things

[opalred]

now in happy retierment had many wives and g/fs in many countrys

you learn to talk to yourselfit makes more sence

my wife says something

say cup and go back to conversation with myself

[NoshowJones]

youre right the girlfriend uses the normal "Thai get out" excuse , she was too close, first rule is to allow enough space to stop in any conditions.

The law will say that if you hit a vehicle from behind, then you are automatically at fault, but there are times when it would be unfair

to blame the person who hit the vehicle traveling in front. Think about it.

unfair and the law are two different things

Very true Kannot, I could not agree more.

[1FinickyOne]

No, there IS a Thai mentality and is a result of their culture. Let's call it "Thainess". They are all brought up from birth with the "idea" of face and that it should under no circumstances be lost.

This isn't uniquely Thai, but, is Asian. It's just the Thai's reaction to losing face. The Japanese and Koreans admit losing face and then either it's public humiliation via an apology, resignation, or, in times past, suicide.

In Thailand, no one admits to anything.

It may not be PC, but, it's the truth. Something which trumps all in Western culture, but, doesn't have anywhere near the same value in certain Asian cultures.

The concept of face is the root of most problems in this country and is the single most important factor in why this country cannot move ahead faster than a snail's pace.

Hi Karen - Bravo for your thoughts but I see "saving face" not admitting fault to be at epidemic proportions in the West... Saw it up real close in my family. My father was NEVER wrong and even if later proven wrong, felt that he was right at the time. How many cases go to trial when a person quite obviously committed the crime but will not own up to it being their responsibility?

Though I have no idea if coercion of some sort is used, but sometimes people do confess a crime. I don't think that happens too often in the west... Saving face is not an eastern or Thai thing only.

Just what I have seen...

[Youbloodybeauty]

Thai mentality, hmmm sometimes I don't understand Australian mentality either..

​

​Haha how about an Australian Thai?

[Shatian]

No , that is not Thai mentality . that's your girlfriend's mentality . By the way , does she have driving license for car , or even a motor cycle ?

The law is very clear but hard to say about common sense on this. Anyway , she is your girlfriend and you should know her better , she happens to be Thai doesn"t necessarily means she represents all Thais.

Btw , I am not a Thai apologists nor Thai basher , just my two cents worht of thoughts!

A judicious use of sense will let you know that when it said that Thai mentality, it doesn't mean that all Thais are like that. It simply means that majority will act that way. Look at how many comments came before yours and you will realize that you are the only one thinking that way.

[Berkshire]

Assuming there is a shared, singular, all-encompassing, one-size-fits-all Thai mentality is part of your problem.

Start thinking of Thais, as you would of individual people in your home country, as individuals.

If someone in your home country says or does something quirky, you don't immediately think of what they did or said as farang mentality. Even in Thailand we all know rational, normal farangs despite the depressing impression of "farang mentality" one could take away from reading so many posts on TV.

So true. This isn't a Thai thing. The OP's GF is a moron and he's coming on here to complain about her. Why is he even with her? Desperate?

[KittenKong]

Sometimes I just can't understand Thai mentality.

You mean that sometimes you do understand it? If so, I'm impressed.

Nothing Thais do ever makes any sense to me.

[willyumiii]

youre right the girlfriend uses the normal "Thai get out" excuse , she was too close, first rule is to allow enough space to stop in any conditions.

Where I come from, California, anyone who rear ends anyone is in the wrong.

Period.

Case closed.

But this is not California, this is Thailand.

[willyumiii]

There is a strange attitude about safety and fault while driving here in Thailand.

I will never forget an incident a couple of years ago where a young woman on a motorbike was waiting in a turning lane to make a left turn when I driver in a truck drove right over her while using the lane to pass a car.

She was killed. **

I found it hard to believe when I heard Thai people state that it was not the truck drivers fault because he was passing someone!

If you drive in Thailand for very long, you learn that Thai drivers feel they obligated pass every vehicle possible, no matter how dangerous it is to do so.

But to the point of killing others in the process of passing, I will never understand.

** She was 19 years old, recently married, and had a new baby.

Edited June 16, 2016 by willyumiii

[kannot]

youre right the girlfriend uses the normal "Thai get out" excuse , she was too close, first rule is to allow enough space to stop in any conditions.

Where I come from, California, anyone who rear ends anyone is in the wrong.

Period.

Case closed.

But this is not California, this is Thailand.

there are some Uk get out clauses 1 is if someone parked over the brow of a hump backed bridge

[kannot]

There is a strange attitude about safety and fault while driving here in Thailand.

I will never forget an incident a couple of years ago where a young woman on a motorbike was waiting in a turning lane to make a left turn when I driver in a truck drove right over her while using the lane to pass a car.

She was killed. **

I found it hard to believe when I heard Thai people state that it was not the truck drivers fault because he was passing someone!

If you drive in Thailand for very long, you learn that Thai drivers feel they obligated pass every vehicle possible, no matter how dangerous it is to do so.

But to the point of killing others in the process of passing, I will never understand.

** She was 19 years old, recently married, and had a new baby.

most babies are "new" ..... Thai way.............its called being a selfish unthinking (insert expletive)

[Roomuck]

youre right the girlfriend uses the normal "Thai get out" excuse , she was too close, first rule is to allow enough space to stop in any conditions.

The law will say that if you hit a vehicle from behind, then you are automatically at fault, but there are times when it would be unfair

to blame the person who hit the vehicle traveling in front. Think about it.

Exactly.

Legally the girlfriend was in the wrong, but in reality it was the stupid driver.

I did the same thing about 5years ago. I was looking for a bar, saw it as I drove past it and slammed on the brakes. A bar girl rammed into me on her bike. It was my fault, but not legally.

She was justifiably pissed off. She was going to be late for work, so I paid her bar fine and told her to go to a repair shop, and if it was under 2000 to get fixed, I would just pay it. More, then we use my insurance. She was quoted 4,000, so we went to the broker who was only 1km away.

I told her to say that I backed into her. I thought she understood why.

We wet to the broker, I told her "happened" but she said we had to wait for the insurance rep to come and look. It took about an hour for him to show up. I told him what happened. Then he started speaking to her.

To my horror she started telling him the truth.

It was unravelling, so I have tried to tell her discreetly "go hok" lie. She then started crying and screaming that she wasn't lying.

So the insurance bloke said he wasn't paying and I got exposed for insurance fraud. Luckily he just left, and the broker who saw it all was also cool.

The girl, mustn't have known legally it was her fault, much like I expect the the OP's girlfriend didn't. Legally, she was wrong, but in REALITY it was my shit driving that caused it.

She won't admit she was wrong, because she actually wasn't wrong. She will be questioning the OPs farang mentality.

[neeray]

This is a great topic. Thanks for posting it OP. I am pretty new at this Thai thing (2 years). But the seemingly different Tai (perhaps Asian in general) thinking has been quite challenging to adjust to. I have encountered numerous situations where that face saving thing has reared its ugly head. And that's amongst much more than one Thai.

Accountability, responsibility, moral compass ...... I don't think "many" Thais are taught these things.

But they are well schooled in "deny, deny, deny" !

[cyberfarang]

This is a great topic. Thanks for posting it OP. I am pretty new at this Thai thing (2 years). But the seemingly different Tai (perhaps Asian in general) thinking has been quite challenging to adjust to. I have encountered numerous situations where that face saving thing has reared its ugly head. And that's amongst much more than one Thai.

Accountability, responsibility, moral compass ...... I don't think "many" Thais are taught these things.

But they are well schooled in "deny, deny, deny" !

I don`t think it`s quite as simple as that. Most traffic accidents unless it`s a case of drunken driving or serious injuries or deaths are involved, are civil cases. The accident involving Faz girlfriend is definitely a civil case and why I think the police said; good luck work something out between yourselves.

In England motorists are advised, never admit to being in the wrong, deny everything, let the other parties have all the stress of proving they are in the right, make their claims as difficult as possible in the hope they`ll get bored and go away and if there is no proof of wrong doing either way it normally ends in a stalemate.

It`s probably the same in Thailand and everyone knows how outmoded the Thai civil legal system is, cases can take years to get to court and even then they can appeal and drag it on forever. So most won`t bother. A few years ago in Lumphun a man on his motorbike smacked into the back of my motorbike and smashed my rear indicator. He just stared at me and if saying; well then, what do I intend to do about it? What could I do? No injuries involved and the only option was to start a fight with him and thought it`s not worth it, so I drove off and left it at that.

I don`t think it`s about losing face, it`s more about what they can get away with and that`s the same everywhere.

[anotheruser]

I can't understand people that would engage in relationships with Thais that are apparently diametrically opposed to being decent to other human beings.

[YeahSiam]

This is a great topic. Thanks for posting it OP. I am pretty new at this Thai thing (2 years). But the seemingly different Tai (perhaps Asian in general) thinking has been quite challenging to adjust to. I have encountered numerous situations where that face saving thing has reared its ugly head. And that's amongst much more than one Thai.

Accountability, responsibility, moral compass ...... I don't think "many" Thais are taught these things.

But they are well schooled in "deny, deny, deny" !

I think most of you people

generalizing about some

mythical, collective Thai

mentality have spent most

of your time scratching

around the lowest of the

low in this country.

You wouldn't go to

Thamesmead in London or

Compton in Los Angeles

and expect to find the

cream of the crop would

you? Yet you come to

Thailand, move to some

shithole in Isaan then

whine because Phichai

doesn't take responsibility

when he takes off your

door mirror on his souped

up Fino or when your wife

who finished school at 13

refuses to yield in an

argument - assuming of

course she even

understands what you're

saying to her.

Climb out of the gutter and

meet some good people

and your outlook might

change

[kaorop]

Assuming there is a shared, singular, all-encompassing, one-size-fits-all Thai mentality is part of your problem.

Start thinking of Thais, as you would of individual people in your home country, as individuals.

If someone in your home country says or does something quirky, you don't immediately think of what they did or said as farang mentality. Even in Thailand we all know rational, normal farangs despite the depressing impression of "farang mentality" one could take away from reading so many posts on TV.

How come you are never in these threads defending "thainess" or as you want when it suits, the "diverseness of thainess"?

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/925446-dsi-suspends-search-of-wat-dhammakaya-after-encountering-resistance-from-followers/

Predictable, which is what the generalizations about 'Thais" are here.

[neeray]

It's hard to tell who YeahSiam is responding to in his post but I for one have not "spent most of your (my) time scratching around the lowest of the low in this country". Never been to Isaan either. I associate with reasonably average and successful, hard working Thai people, many with university education (many of whom think they are smarter and better as a result of their uni degree). It is through this association that I have observed and formed my personal opinion that a Thai brain does seem to compute somewhat different than their peers in North America. It is the way it is and I accept that. But that doesn't change the fact that face saving is still a major obstacle to advancement of the Kingdom and that the trait of not being able to admit you were wrong is challenging to deal with. Even a Thai family member, university educated, recognizes this problem which is why she is raising her children in a European country and will return to the homeland after they are adults.

[cyberfarang]

Assuming there is a shared, singular, all-encompassing, one-size-fits-all Thai mentality is part of your problem.

Start thinking of Thais, as you would of individual people in your home country, as individuals.

If someone in your home country says or does something quirky, you don't immediately think of what they did or said as farang mentality. Even in Thailand we all know rational, normal farangs despite the depressing impression of "farang mentality" one could take away from reading so many posts on TV.

That`s exactly how I think about Thai people. All races and nationalities have their good and bad sides. I don`t judge people by race, people are people wherever they are.

The short time I have been posting on these forums I have been shocked by how too many posters seem to be anti Thai and also noticed the most critical get the most likes. It seems that to become a popular poster is to slag off the Thais and Thailand as much as possible. What is it with these people? Are they just sad old loners disgruntled with the world or with themselves, or what is it? What`s their problem?