How Are Thai-american Male & Farang Wife Relationships Viewed In Thailand?

[Q_Q_Dude]

I'm a Thai-American guy, with a Thai mother and a Farang dad. Aside from some differences, I look Thai (people here in the US guess Chinese or something) for the most part.

Anyway, my wife is Farang. My Mom recently got over that, after I had a talk with my parents and we all came to the conclusion that since their relationship was interracial, they wouldn't have as much as an issue with mine being so too. I guess they were satisfied with that and just hope that my wife is kind and caring. My brother married a Thai woman though, so I'd say that my Mom is just happy that one of her children married into Thai culture.

My Mom's family in Thailand know that I married a Farang woman, but my wife and I still haven't visited Thailand to see my Mom's family and friends in their hometown up north in Chiang Rai, so I don't know how they feel about it. They know that I'm pretty Western due to the way that I grew up, but I'm still not sure how they feel about the fact that I didn't marry a Thai woman.

I also don't know how Thai society in general reacts to this? Will people be okay with it? Will I be fine planning a trip/vacation to Thailand with my wife next summer?

So really, what do you think about this situation in general? Am I just over-thinking things and that my family/mother really just care about hoping that my wife is kind and caring?

[dgoz]

I think you are over thinking.

But that's what us westerners do. (so I've been told)

Can you speak Thai? That would probably make things a little easier.

[Q_Q_Dude]

I think you are over thinking.

But that's what us westerners do. (so I've been told)

Can you speak Thai? That would probably make things a little easier.

I spent a lot of my childhood in Thailand, so I'd venture to say that I can speak Thai and read Thai fairly well. My wife can't, yet, but she's making an effort to learn.

Edited November 16, 2006 by Q_Q_Dude

[Sing_Sling]

I think you are over thinking.

But that's what us westerners do. (so I've been told)

Can you speak Thai? That would probably make things a little easier.

I spent a lot of my childhood in Thailand, so I'd venture to say that I can speak Thai and read Thai fairly well. My wife can't, yet, but she's making an effort to learn.

Good for her. I can't see any problems at all.

[qualtrough]

I am a farang and have been married to a Thai woman for almost 11 years now, and neither of us have experienced any problems like the ones you worry about, either here or in the US. That's my experience, others experience may vary.

I doubt very much whether your family in Thailand will have any problem at all with your wife, and in fact suspect that many will be thrilled to meet her.

Edited November 16, 2006 by qualtrough

[Maizefarmer]

You have nothing to worry about at all - my son is in the same position as you (although he grew up in Thailand). He doesn;t care a toss and no-one else seems to either - and how often do you you see light skinned Thai's with blue eyes (with only thing people sometimes comments about).

[h90]

I'm a Thai-American guy, with a Thai mother and a Farang dad. Aside from some differences, I look Thai (people here in the US guess Chinese or something) for the most part.

Anyway, my wife is Farang. My Mom recently got over that, after I had a talk with my parents and we all came to the conclusion that since their relationship was interracial, they wouldn't have as much as an issue with mine being so too. I guess they were satisfied with that and just hope that my wife is kind and caring. My brother married a Thai woman though, so I'd say that my Mom is just happy that one of her children married into Thai culture.

My Mom's family in Thailand know that I married a Farang woman, but my wife and I still haven't visited Thailand to see my Mom's family and friends in their hometown up north in Chiang Rai, so I don't know how they feel about it. They know that I'm pretty Western due to the way that I grew up, but I'm still not sure how they feel about the fact that I didn't marry a Thai woman.

I also don't know how Thai society in general reacts to this? Will people be okay with it? Will I be fine planning a trip/vacation to Thailand with my wife next summer?

So really, what do you think about this situation in general? Am I just over-thinking things and that my family/mother really just care about hoping that my wife is kind and caring?

Just be prepared to get the stupid question "how are these white woman in bed" got that question a couple of times and still don't know a good answer.

It seems that is one of the main concerns of thai male.

[GuestHouse]

Quit fretting about your mother and concentrate on your relationship with your wife.

[TallTravel]

Just be prepared to get the stupid question "how are these white woman in bed" got that question a couple of times and still don't know a good answer.

It seems that is one of the main concerns of thai male.

Hmm, that is probably worth a thread in itself! Side topic, though:

How about answering that question with " I don't know about white women, I know only about ONE white woman, and she and I have a great relationship. We love keeping our intimate relationship intimate and private ".

Would that work?

[Boo]

My husband is thai & I am English (caucasian) his family adore me & this last trip I was told by many neighbours that mum talks about me all the time & tells them how much she missed me, her son too but me the most We did live there for several months though & have visitied several times over the last few years.

Older relatives don't know how to act around me as I am so alien to them but the younger aunts & uncles, the kids & hubbies friends are great & we are always having a laugh. My thai is passable but they speak the local issan dialect mainly so I too am limited to what I understand.

I would suggest buying your wife a couple of books of thai customs for your visit so she knows the correct way to sit on the floor, how to wai people of different ages & status & teach her the basic greetings & thank yous etc.

Also advise her to expect to be much commented on & touched by the women, esp if she is fair skinned. If she is normal farang size (which is large to thais) then prepare her for comments about being fat or chubby. Even if she isn't most thai women (older) like to comment on farang bodies & I got a lot of the older women touching my boobs on our first couple of visits (cause they are bigger than what they had ever seen!)

This way she wont be a complete ignoramous & her effort will hopefully (usually) charm your family as thais, being generous to guests & super patriotic like any kind of effort on our part to learn something about thai culture. Oh & if she can eat spicy food she will be half way there.

As for worrying about what they will think, it's none of their business is it. She is your wife & you love her & what these people thousands of miles away think really is irrelvant as, unless you both plan on moving in with them will have to see them only on vacation times. So enjoy the trip but IMO I would arrange to go elsewhere for part of it (beach etc) so your wife doesn't go mad with the constant attention

[Mobi]

I don't think you have anyrthing to worry about - especially a Thai male marrying caucasian woman.

Everyone will be waiting with baited breath for a few female 'Luk Kreungs' they can put in the Thai soap operas.

As othesr have said, concentrate on making sure that your wife is happy and your relationship is good.

[samran]

Quit fretting about your mother and concentrate on your relationship with your wife.

Logic would dictate that you are right, Guesthouse. But then you don't have a Thai mother. Thai mothers have their ways of controling things in a way that you can't ignore them. I know, I have one.

[sbk]

I, too, am a farang woman married to a Thai man and have absolutely no problems with my husband's entire extended family because I am a farang. Sure, there was curiousity at first but I think my husband's 93 year old grandfather said it best (and remember I was the first farang he had met) "It doesn't matter what's on the outside, it is what is on the inside that counts".

Boo is right, clue her in to what is considered 'acceptable behavior" for women in this country, make sure she dresses politely when out with the family (no short shorts, no spagetti strap tops, no topless tops--nothing too revealing). The better her appearance the better impression she will make Teach her how to sit properly if you go to the temple (Major OUCH!) and teach her some words in Thai.

She'll do fine.

In fact, the biggest problems my husband and I have ever faced have been with white men in the US who can't get over a white woman with a man of color, not with Thai people in Thailand.

[Q_Q_Dude]

Thanks everyong for the reassuring opinions.

This definitely makes me feel better about the Thailand vacation that she and I have planned out for next summer.