Fun2Fun,

Not wishing to comment on any of your previous relationships- you were there & would know better than anyone what your partners' motivations were for being with you- I'm just wondering : is it possible that you were more relaxed, confident & easygoing during your "high-flying periods" than in any other periods in your life? Possibly it was your more confident personality, rather than your increased income that proved more attractive to women at these times?

Fun2Fun,

Not wishing to comment on any of your previous relationships- you were there & would know better than anyone what your partners' motivations were for being with you- I'm just wondering : is it possible that you were more relaxed, confident & easygoing during your "high-flying periods" than in any other periods in your life? Possibly it was your more confident personality, rather than your increased income that proved more attractive to women at these times?

Not at all......

( The main difference had more to do with if they wanted a serious relationship or a casual relationship/one night stand )

There will always be women who are attracted to men with money/status/ power etc but there will always be men who like women like that. My problem is how so many men assume that just cause they are attracted to women who are attracted to money etc that we are all like it. New flash, we aren't. We are individuals like not all men strive to be rich or succesful, not all women need or want a man with money.

if you liked both but you had a choice between a man who works a minimum wage job and was struggling, vs. a man who owned his own company and was comfortable, you would probably choose the latter... common sense. that doesn't mean you want his money. women are attracted to intelligent, ambitious, strong men. we don't like to hook up with guys we have to carry through life like children. i and the girls i know have our own money, but we would prefer to find men of equal or higher economic status (or at least working towards something) so we know they can take care of themselves, and can be proud that we aren't with a shiftless loser.

I know some women who wanted a provider & I also know many like me who have no need, desire or ambition to a man with money.

Everyone needs money to live, thats a fact or life but not all of us need a lot of it or if we do are quite happy to be the main earner, as I am.

I find the attitude that a man who doesn't have a good job or a lot of money or the ambition to have it as a shiftless loser very interesting. This is IMO, an ingrained attitude that a lot of people have & is a very middle class attitude to me. It isn't a correct assesment as there is a huge difference between someone being lazy & someone working for their own goals outside of societies norm or without the need for material wealth but I suppose if you have been brought up to beleive that money = being better then you may think that way too.

I know of people in the UK who think like this & their husbands will probably work until 65 then have a stress related heart attack a year later (I hope not) My point is that for me & my husbnad, quality of life is much more important than being ambitious. We have goals just not the same as others may be.

This is an age old argument but as I said in the last post, not all women want a man with a lot of money & just because you do or are attracted women who do, doesn't make it all women.

I find the attitude that a man who doesn't have a good job or a lot of money or the ambition to have it as a shiftless loser very interesting.

i should clarify that it's not the money itself that is the goal (when i say i want a man with ambition), rather it is that i would want to be with someone who is doing something with his life, other than looking to me to take care of him. i would be just as happy with an artist who was living out his dreams but not making much money as i would with someone who was running their own business and making loads. the point is, if they have no passion for life and are not moving forward, they are to me a shiftless loser and not worth my time.

I think many people fail to make the distinction between following one's passion and pursuing material gains. In light of the poster assuming that women were after what appears to be material gains, a misunderstanding of your post, girlx, was easily made. You have cleared it up and admirably, I might add. I completely agree with you here, nothing worse than a man with no passion except maybe one whose passion includes every other woman on the planet

but we would prefer to find men of equal or higher economic status (or at least working towards something) so we know they can take care of themselves, and can be proud that we aren't with a shiftless loser.

I find the attitude that a man who doesn't have a good job or a lot of money or the ambition to have it as a shiftless loser very interesting.

Somehow I don't think the two bolded statements mean the same thing.

Thanks for clarifying that girlx, I agree completly.

the point is, if they have no passion for life and are not moving forward, they are to me a shiftless loser and not worth my time.

Well..in western relationships there might not be money changing hand directly..or even not given much concious thought.

BUT...Status, mony and profession is very much in the picture.

So can you girls say with a hand on your heart that you would consider a physical attractive man in a low income job or unemployed as a good catch for a long lasting relationship/marriage...or would you rather just have him for a cassual one night stand?

My husband was jobless when we married. In fact, for the first year and a half. It bothered him though.

rainx,

You're right that some women in the West abstain through religious beliefs, but more often (particularly in the past) it was due to societal expectations & codemnation. Plenty of women did have sex, they just hoped not to get caught out (pregnant). If you look at mental hospitals in UK in the early 20th century, you'll find a lot of inmates were girls of "loose morals". So, if a girl did get pregnant, very often she'd be committed (perfectly sane) & left there for the rest of her life. Nice treatment, huh? Other girls were sent away until they'd had their baby, which was then either taken from them, or raised by another member of the family, & the girl returned from her "holiday" or "work away" with no blemish on her character. It's only since the 60s, free love & the pill that women in the West have taken their own sexual choices (more) into their own hands.

As for the question of how soon? I agree with many others. I see nothing wrong with one night stands being initiated by a woman, if that's what she wants (& her partner, of course) & I also see nothing wrong with waiting. You do what feels right & comfortable...

Just because you get pregnant? That’s insane.

Thank you for the info.

So can you girls say with a hand on your heart that you would consider a physical attractive man in a low income job or unemployed as a good catch for a long lasting relationship/marriage...or would you rather just have him for a cassual one night stand?

I don't think of men as "catches" one way or the other, and never have.

Low income job per se would not be a turn off as long as it was work that held some meaning to him, or there was some other reason why he did (e.g. to make a living while doing something else that was meaningful). I would have a problem with someone in a low paying meaningless job for no particular reason other than a lack of trying or ability -- not because I care in the least about money (I make my own) or status (irrelevant, an illusion). But as other posters have indicated, I do care about the character of a person and the energy and dedication they put into their lives. I also care about responsibility, so someone unemployed for no good reason would be a turn off -- not because of the money but because it suggests a lack of responsibility and feeling that others should take care of him, be it parents, girlfriend or the state...able bodied people should pull their own weight, earn their living and try to give something back to the world, IMO.

In any case it there's quite a distance between the "no money, no honey" statement of the wearlier poster (i.e. no woman, anywhere, will have sex except for material gain) to your position.

Yes, there are women who want to gain money and status via marriage, but they are by no means all women. I don't think they are even the majority. But they do exist, and will flock around men with money and status. An affluent man would be wise to take that with a grain of salt, and look for the ones who aren't so motivated. And the non-affluent should consider themselves just as well off not to be drawing that type. After all, wealth and status come and go. Nobody wants a fair weather friend, why would anyone want a fair weather lover or spouse?

nothing worse than a man with no passion except maybe one whose passion includes every other woman on the planet

hehe

For Westerners who are somewhere in the middle of the sexually conservative-liberal scale, does kissing on the first or second date make the woman look bad? Some Americans think sex on the first date implies that the woman is loose, but now I am getting the impression that Americans are a little more conservative than Europeans when it comes to that matter. How long do Western women typically wait before they kiss and have sex? Three dates? Ten dates?

Input from Western women and Westernized Thais would be appreciated.

Thank you.

This is a good topic of which I have much interest. I am an American who has lived in Thailand for 2 + years. I have encountered several women who seem to play "old maid auntie" with me about sex and physical contact. I do not consider myself that undesirable, fat & ugly. What I do see (from these Thai women) is a pattern of extracting or requesting money, while doing or giving as little as possible in physical contact. No sex within the first week is OK. If no sex beyond the first month, something is amiss, usuall boyfriend in the woodwork. I have not found no women here who could match several I knew in High School back home, many years ago.

I think many people fail to make the distinction between following one's passion and pursuing material gains. In light of the poster assuming that women were after what appears to be material gains, a misunderstanding of your post, girlx, was easily made. You have cleared it up and admirably, I might add. I completely agree with you here, nothing worse than a man with no passion except maybe one whose passion includes every other woman on the planet

What about a women with no passion? I think I would give women the percentages on this.

I have not found no women here who could match several I knew in High School back home, many years ago.

I am afraid I don't understand this last sentence at all.

Perhaps I don't want to

Women who get paid for sex are prostitutes, women who just extract money are scammers.

I have not found no women here who could match several I knew in High School back home, many years ago.

I am afraid I don't understand this last sentence at all.

Perhaps I don't want to

Women who get paid for sex are prostitutes, women who just extract money are scammers.

Yes, scammers are a dime a dozen here and very skillfull and sophisticated. They must have a school for them somewhere, because I see many familiar patterns of behavior over & over. My remark about my old high school sweethearts refers to level of interest, desire and motivation with physical intimacy. Sadly, my LOS loveleys have been "dead in the water" on this one.

Scammers and con artists abound in every country. And occur in both sexes.

A person who constantly gets fooled by scammers has only one person to blame; themselves. Don't you know that old phrase? (made famous in Star Trek ) "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me".

As for the feelings you had in high school, did no one ever teach you about the hormones raging through teenage bodies? Your own included. The only way to mimic that is to somehow regress through time to the age when you had lots of energy, good health, and an overload of hormones.

Life is about living with the reality you have now, not dreaming about a past that can never be resurrected.

Scammers and con artists abound in every country. And occur in both sexes.

A person who constantly gets fooled by scammers has only one person to blame; themselves. Don't you know that old phrase? (made famous in Star Trek ) "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me".

As for the feelings you had in high school, did no one ever teach you about the hormones raging through teenage bodies? Your own included. The only way to mimic that is to somehow regress through time to the age when you had lots of energy, good health, and an overload of hormones.

Life is about living with the reality you have now, not dreaming about a past that can never be resurrected.

I don't want to start a debate about this, but my references to the old high school days are not about teen hormones, but are about desire and interest on the part of the women. Because I have encountered many scammers, does not mean that I have been taken advantage by them, although many have tried. Unfortunately, as you should be well aware, the majority of the Farang man and Thai Lady matches in LOS are based on money. Virtually ALL of the woman I have encountered here have fit this pattern and I am not talking about bar girls, beer girls and prostitutes.

My misunderstanding, sorry

As for women losing their passion as they get older, well, I believe that must, in part be true. Alot of it has to do with just being plain tired; most adult women find themselves with the responsibility of a job, kids and a house to take care of. Sure men contribute but not usually as much as the woman. (and don't flame me here guys, be honest with yourselves first).

Also, by reaching adulthood most women have had more than a few disillusioning experiences with men and have learned to not necessarily throw themselves body and soul into a relationship with a man who may not be as committed as they are.

Also, since it appears we are talking about passionate sex (or being passionate in a relationship) instead of being passionate about something, many women find their enthusiasm diminished when they end up with a husband overly critical of their appearance, their job, their housekeeping skills etc etc. As well, men tend to be more visual in their sexuality, while women tend to be more emotive and "feeling based". If the man isn't willing to devote some time to the woman's enjoyment as well, she may just think "Oh well, lets get it over with" instead.

^^That may be true but probably says more about how you meet women than the general population of Thai women- not that there aren't a sizeable group of scammers who make it "easy" for you to meet them. I have the feeling if you keep going in this direction generalising about Thai women you won't be long for this thread...

What about a women with no passion? I think I would give women the percentages on this.

a woman without passion would accept the deadbeat. and they belong together i say.