How to Wai – and why it is good to know!

[Inspire]

How to Wai – and why it is good to know!

Recently many foreigners have been in the news for a variety of reasons and have been pictured wai-ing in forgiveness.

And even though they have tried to show their knowledge of Thai culture by clasping their hands in front of them, did they get it remotely right?

Some reports suggested that they did not.

There was the bicyclist in Chiang Mai who was pictured in an act of contrition outside the police station after he was caught recklessly riding up Doi Suthep on the wrong side of the road. He had placed his hands somewhere around his navel.

Then there was the pair of tourists who turned themselves in to Krabi police after they had been filmed in an infamous blow-job incident on Koh Phi Phi. They looked like they were praying with their hands upon their sorry chests.

Also in the news was a Thai “boy” who leapt to the ground in a police station to perform another gesture of forgiveness by prostrating himself at the feet of the mother he had stolen from. What was that all about?

The “wai” is a gesture used in Thai culture in a multitude of ways for many things. How and to whom it is performed is taught to Thai children by parents and teachers from an early age. It seems a bit of a minefield to many foreigners resident in the kingdom – so much so that many seem to avoid doing it altogether. They even laugh at tourists for getting it wrong.

But many who live in Thailand know that it is really necessary to know how to wai properly and to know who to wai. It is akin to knowing how to handshake or greet in the West.

So what are the basics of wai-ing?

Guidelines on how to wai are issued by the Education Ministry in literature about Thai Manners. This is available in the Thai language and is even in English for use in international schools. I should know – though I am English I was a teacher of Thai language and culture at international schools in Bangkok for 20 years. I ran a term long on the basics of Thai manners for Year 8 students (early teenagers) and used the ministry’s guidelines as a basis for my lessons.

I told my students that the important thing was not moving your hands but moving your head.

The hands should be clasped together in front of the upper body with the thumbnails together. When wai-ing older people or respected individuals like teachers the thumbnails should end up on the tip of the nose when the head is lowered.

For monks the thumbnails should end up between the eyebrows.

Wai-ing friends or people of roughly the same age and social status it is only necessary to have the nails end up just below the chin and a casual nod of the head is all that is required.

The fourth and last wai that I taught was called receiving a wai. This is when people of a lower age or status wai you. Of course it may not be necessary to wai at all but when you do the hands should be clasped on the chest and eye contact should be made with the other person. It is not necessary to bow the head at all and of course the younger person will wai first.

My students always laughed when I showed them the fifth wai that I didn’t really teach – the one where the hands are raised to the top of the head in a gesture of “don’t kill me!”

Full story: http://www.inspirepattaya.com/lifestyle/wai-good-know/

-- Inspire Pattaya 2016-07-29

[villagefarang]

Preaching to the converted with me but I am guessing you will get some heat for posting this topic.

[prakhonchai nick]

Far better to leave the wai to the Thais....it is after all THEIR culture. Good enough for the foreigners to say "sorry" if relevant, in either passa farang or Thai.

I get pissed off at home with Thais visiting my home on an almost daily basis and wai-ing me and expecting me to wai back. Totally pointless and unnecessary!

[1FinickyOne]

Ah Nick - no need for animosity... if a Thai were in your country and you put out your hand on meeting for a handshake and they refused, it would be a little insulting - no? It is not so horrible to return a friendly greeting...

A good informative post by Inspire - -

Of course, half the time I am returning a wai it is with a grocery bag or something in my hands and you can get into awkward poses but with a smile, the intent is taken as returning a friendly greeting... being polite does not take much effort but it does take intent...

Edited July 30, 2016 by kenk24

[Jeffkp]

Very helpful.

[TKDfella]

I did notice the OP doesn't say anything about timing. For example Wai first then say hello, say goodbye next then Wai. Just saying that's all.

[dick dasterdly]

So far (touch wood, fingers crossed) bowing my head in response to a wai seems to be acceptable - i.e. no indication that they thought I was being rude by not giving a wai back.

Presumably they know that I have no clue as to the intricacies of wai-ing, and realise that my bowed head is a respectful gesture in response.

[williamgeorgeallen]

like most people with experience living in thailand say, as a foreigner just stay away from it. return a wai to be polite. of course i wai my kids school teachers in return and so on. one exception is my kids thai grandparents, i give them a wai when i visit them.

[Laza 45]

Ah Nick - no need for animosity... if a Thai were in your country and you put out your hand on meeting for a handshake and they refused, it would be a little insulting - no? It is not so horrible to return a friendly greeting...

A good informative post by Inspire - -

Of course, half the time I am returning a wai it is with a grocery bag or something in my hands and you can get into awkward poses but with a smile, the intent is taken as returning a friendly greeting... being polite does not take much effort but it does take intent...

I think you have got it right.. I am in many situations where people wai me... and sometimes I have been unsure of the proper response.. this article makes it pretty clear.. When in Rome and all that...

[HerbalEd]

Far better to leave the wai to the Thais....it is after all THEIR culture. Good enough for the foreigners to say "sorry" if relevant, in either passa farang or Thai.

I get pissed off at home with Thais visiting my home on an almost daily basis and wai-ing me and expecting me to wai back. Totally pointless and unnecessary!

You get "pissed off" easily, huh? I bet you'd also get pissed off if you reached out to shake a Thai's hand and he refused.

[dick dasterdly]

Far better to leave the wai to the Thais....it is after all THEIR culture. Good enough for the foreigners to say "sorry" if relevant, in either passa farang or Thai.

I get pissed off at home with Thais visiting my home on an almost daily basis and wai-ing me and expecting me to wai back. Totally pointless and unnecessary!

You get "pissed off" easily, huh? I bet you'd also get pissed off if you reached out to shake a Thai's hand and he refused.

Entirely off topic, but a US friend was not happy when my English guest wanted to shake his hand.

I can understand both sides - the guest was hot and sweaty (not ideal for a handshake) - whilst the friend is (decades ago) from the US, and so didn't understand that a handshake is pretty much mandatory for Brits !

[ericthai]

On 7/30/2016 at 3:33 AM, dick dasterdly said:

Entirely off topic, but a US friend was not happy when my English guest wanted to shake his hand.

I can understand both sides - the guest was hot and sweaty (not ideal for a handshake) - whilst the friend is (decades ago) from the US, and so didn't understand that a handshake is pretty much mandatory for Brits !

I dont get your post, Shaking hands in the US is normal, so why would a guy from the US not understand...Ok sweaty hands, but in that case a person usually dries there hands first. 

[dick dasterdly]

10 hours ago, ericthai said:

I dont get your post, Shaking hands in the US is normal, so why would a guy from the US not understand...Ok sweaty hands, but in that case a person usually dries there hands first. 

No idea - perhaps US friend has just got out of the habit of shaking hands as he's been here so long?

I took his word for it that handshakes aren't the mandatory response in the US.  You disagree, and I'm happy to take your word for it and believe that the US friend was just (understandably) annoyed that my visiting guest had proffered his sweaty hand for a handshake.