Nutter neighbour insults wife - what can we do? Help please.

[cliveshep]

I'm going crazy here. Opposite is an obese young woman who is mentally unstable but not dangerous physically. She hates my wife because she is slim and attrective and ever since we moved in 8 months ago and she saw me, a falang, was married to her has not ceased to call out to my wife that she is a prostitute, a bar girl, and such insults that my wife really takes to heart.

We had CCTV cameras covering the outside when we bought the house because the previous owners were two pretty girls - also not bar-girls but a UNI student and her older Civil Servant sister - who suffered eggs thrown at the house, insults etc and called the police on numerous occasions but nothing was done it seems. The nutter has not been put in a mental home and is free to do what she wants.

We have installed a similar new infra-red CCTV system which has been in operation 24/7 for 7 months, covering the roadway in front of our home, the gardens, and with this woman's gates in view. There is unfortunately no sound. Apart from an attempt to throw a concrete block at the house - too heavy for her - nothing physical done but a barrage of insults every time my wife goes outside the front door into the front yard have driven her almost insane, and naturally it is my fault in some way for not doing something. She has gone so far as to try to buy a gun, and asking me for money to hire a killer - she has been driven demented.

We have had the police here repeatedly - they are chocolate teapots, made us all go to the police station and sign papers saying we agreed not to fight each other on two occasions - a pointless excercise.

My wife, (Thai by the way) insists I call the British Embassy and tell them I don't feel safe and ask them to do something. I have refused because I really cannot see them doing anything at all, but am I wrong?

Apart from illegal responses and to save our sanity and my marriage that is fast going down the tubes, what if anything can I do? I have put the house on the market, well, she has as it is in her name but I agreed, which is a pity as we have just finished an expensive refurbishment and alteratios giving us 5 aircon bedrooms for the family who won't be coming here now anyway, 4 bathrooms and a somewhat improved kitchen. The garden looks good too but if it saves her mind and our marriage selling is worth it.

Any sensible ideas please? I must add we live on my small UK pension and all my capital has been expended almost buying the house, a car and a motorbike - so we don't have pots of money.

[beachproperty]

Sorry to hear you have a bad neighbor? Why not just .....MOVE

[ClutchClark]

A taller wall between the two properties?

A sprinkler system directed towards the neighbors place that can be switched on minutes before your wiife leaves your house?

Order your wife to calm down.

[cliveshep]

Sorry to hear you have a bad neighbor? Why not just .....MOVE

I guess my post was too long for you.

We are selling the house - I did say that - but it takes time and really - should I have to for this reason?

Edited July 30, 2016 by cliveshep

[JAFO]

I feel for you. The worst are the bar girl insults and cracks because this is a heavily ingrained stereotype in this country. She is immediately dumped in that bucket. even posters on this site will think she is. Most can't believe that a foreigner can meet a nice average normal woman.

So now you bought the house so you have to find a way to deal with her unfortunately or sell it and move away. While hindsight, I always tell people rent the house you are considering buying so you can check out your neighbors.

Honestly I am afraid you only a few options and neither are going to be fun.. Wish I could offer a plan to eradicate the whack job but the rules on how this is handled here is WAY different then the UK or US.

[Rhys]

Yikes sorry to hear about this... well, not much you can do... tolerate it..or move..your current option.. unless natural events have while she drives here motorcycle.

[bubba1]

Hire a lawyer to threaten her.

[cliveshep]

A taller wall between the two properties?

A sprinkler system directed towards the neighbors place that can be switched on minutes before your wiife leaves your house?

Order your wife to calm down.

The offending property is opposite - across the road. Sprinkler system - joke right?

Order wife to calm down? She is Thai and I've already said she is at her wits end, 1) she would not accept orders from me and I don't blame her, she is a wife, not a servant and 2) she is hurting badly and is coming unravelled so your comments do not help.

Has anyone got any sound and reasonable sympathetic advice to help my poor wife?

[ClutchClark]

My eyesight is not great these days so I did skim some parts.

Good luck with the sale but I think you have zero remedy from authorities and you are obviously not buying a gun so I thought some creative home remedy might get you by.

You can't hit her with a blast from the garden hose?

[JAFO]

A taller wall between the two properties?

A sprinkler system directed towards the neighbors place that can be switched on minutes before your wiife leaves your house?

Order your wife to calm down.

The offending property is opposite - across the road. Sprinkler system - joke right?

Order wife to calm down? She is Thai and I've already said she is at her wits end, 1) she would not accept orders from me and I don't blame her, she is a wife, not a servant and 2) she is hurting badly and is coming unravelled so your comments do not help.

Has anyone got any sound and reasonable sympathetic advice to help my poor wife?

While I do not know your wife's personal make up I know that Thais typically do not like confrontation...HOWEVER. get them mad and that is out the window. I know my wife would straight up get in her face if she had gone the nice polite route initially. Don't let her be a bully. Maybe a approach would be to sit her down and have her over for dinner or lunch. Find out whats got her panties all up in her arse. AT least this might settle her down and give you more time to sell the place and move on.

[cliveshep]

No blast from garden hose, I'm sure the police would come after me if I did that. Gun - we only have a blow-back Beretta 5.6 Cal. bb auto and that is for snakes, real ones! Turning it on her would rightly see me banged up and wouldn't be very effective anyway.

I guess I'll have to chase the sellling agent to up the ante marketting-wise.

Doesn't look like there is any other option. Shame - our side neighbours are both lovely and so helpful - but opposite?? They all hate her, even the police hate her, apart from one policemen who seems a bit sweet on her. Mind you, she has a history off stripping off and offering herself to the married men in the area apparently. Perhaps he likes his women with arse, belly and mouth like a hippo. I kid you not, she is apparently on drugs to control her pyschosis that make her clinically obese and other drugs to make her lose weight - which isn't happening. She is gross! Her aged parents live with her, an obese schoolboy son, and a husband who won't or cannot control her and who seems to live elsewhere most of the time - I don't blame him.

[Inn Between]

Put her antics on Youtube and make sure her family gets the link. Have a Thai friend do a commentary, explaining her rantings and her actions against the previous tenants. If saving face is so important here, her family might be the ones to put a muzzle on her.

Edited July 30, 2016 by Inn Between

[cliveshep]

Quote: JAFO: "While I do not know your wife's personal make up I know that Thais typically do not like confrontation...HOWEVER. get them mad and that is out the window. I know my wife would straight up get in her face if she had gone the nice polite route initially. Don't let her be a bully. Maybe a approach would be to sit her down and have her over for dinner or lunch. Find out whats got her panties all up in her arse. AT least this might settle her down and give you more time to sell the place and move on."

My wife is the same - she lost it on one occasion, all the soi knew and most heard her. I've never seen her like that. She was simply pushed too far. The fat cow opposite stayed behind her sliding gate and riposted from cover.

This nutter cannot be reasoned with like a normal person, she is psychotic, her head is wired all wrong, my wife's sister tried to befriend her but she turned on them too. With this one a "soft answer does not turn away wrath". Her husband says that as christians we must forgive her - fine, can do that but still want her controlled and prevented from further abuse. He's a nice friendly guy, but he lives away so can "forgive" and hop in his car and go!

My wife would never ever allow this woman in our home, and I fully support that. You would not want to enter a cage with an unpredictable wild animal and it would be the same.

Edited July 30, 2016 by cliveshep

[KittenKong]

How about learning the Thai for "you are a fat evil-smelling turd who couldn't even give it away let alone charge for it" and shouting that out at her when you see her?

[jvs]

Get help from the Pujai Bahn,(spelling police?)Chances are the girl has had problems before and if she really is mental unstable she is not to blame.

It is wise to try and win her over to your side,your wife should understand how the system works.

Try to get some help from inside the village,if this turns violent you are the one who is going to lose.

The fact that the girl is obese has nothing to do with this at all,why did you mention this?

Maybe try and talk to her and buy her a present?Have you talked to the parents directly?

I hope you can solve this in a peaceful way and moving is not necessary.

It is time for you to take charge!The wife wants to buy a gun?Are you kidding me?

It is not only your wife but you also have a bad attitude towards this girl,calling her a nutter does not do you any good.

Your think your marriage is on the clips because of this?Sounds like your wife has a few issues.

Maybe ignoring the insults and give a friendly wave?

[farang000999]

So are you going to inform the potential new home owners of the situation before they purchase the home?

[ClutchClark]

A taller wall between the two properties?

A sprinkler system directed towards the neighbors place that can be switched on minutes before your wiife leaves your house?

Order your wife to calm down.

The offending property is opposite - across the road. Sprinkler system - joke right?

Order wife to calm down? She is Thai and I've already said she is at her wits end, 1) she would not accept orders from me and I don't blame her, she is a wife, not a servant and 2) she is hurting badly and is coming unravelled so your comments do not help.

Has anyone got any sound and reasonable sympathetic advice to help my poor wife?

I didn't mean any disrespect to your wife or to appear callous but my wife listens to me and knows the final word is mine.

Is this not the way it is for most farang men with Thai wives?

[metisdead]

An off topic post containing a slur comment has been removed.

[oxo1947]

We have had the police here repeatedly.

She has gone so far as to try to buy a gun, and asking me for money to hire a killer - she has been driven demented.---OP

.

Yer .......after the first statement------I don't think I would go for the hit-man option.....the police do tend to be a little slow here........but ............

[cliveshep]

Get help from the Pujai Bahn,(spelling police?)Chances are the girl has had problems before and if she really is mental unstable she is not to blame.

It is wise to try and win her over to your side,your wife should understand how the system works.

Try to get some help from inside the village,if this turns violent you are the one who is going to lose.

The fact that the girl is obese has nothing to do with this at all,why did you mention this?

Maybe try and talk to her and buy her a present?Have you talked to the parents directly?

I hope you can solve this in a peaceful way and moving is not necessary.

It is time for you to take charge!The wife wants to buy a gun?Are you kidding me?

It is not only your wife but you also have a bad attitude towards this girl,calling her a nutter does not do you any good.

Your think your marriage is on the clips because of this?Sounds like your wife has a few issues.

Maybe ignoring the insults and give a friendly wave?

JVS - I have no worse an attitude to this sick <deleted> than all the neighbours and tradespeople here who suffer with her. The only peaecful way this can end is either she goes or we go. A lightning strike would be a nice solution! Thanks for your advice, "tree-hugging" is not an answer.

The parents are old bless them, she bullies them all the time. I don't know where it comes from but she seems to have money, her car is a beemer, quite old but still a beemer, her husband's is a beat up Honda Civic so I'm thinking she holds the financial purse strings.

Obese - she is. Her husband calls her that - it is probably a combination of drugs and daily pizzas that are delivered. It is accurate and mentioned because she repeatedly tries to be winsome and offer sex, walking out into the street with only an open house coat on. It is grotesque. You cannot win over psychotics, you'd have as much success as with a rabid dog. She is medically diagnosed as psychotic - says her husband. I call her a nutter because of what she does is not normal.

Examples - she buys spray cans and pains her dustbins weekly, also the gate, also the car, also the yard tiles. All different colours.Makes a right mess extending out onto the roadway.

She had builders in one time, that week her colour was day-glo orange, she sprayed the yard and entrance tiling, the wheels on her car, and made the workers spray their shoes orange before she let them work.

She comes out in the night at odd hours, maybe 2 or 3 or 4 am and takes flash pictures through our railings of the house and videos us all the time with an i-pad, but makes complaints about CCTV protecting our home (which the police ignore of course.)

She went to the police and complained because our dustbin was outside our house for collection.So were everyone elses! She hates our flowers, my wife was ordered to cut them because she hates the colours.

She puts dustbins in the road because outside her house the road is her property, she has 3 bines that are placed about 3ft past her car so cars struggle to pass the obstructions. He mother moves them in, she puts them back, someone else in her house moves them in, she puts them back. Two days ago this saga repeated so she went to the police to complain it was my wife moving her bins - we have it on CCTV - it was her mother. Before she went we had a half hour of "you are a prostitute" type shouting.

My wife called the police to come and shut her up, this resulted in a shouting match between her and her husband in the street with 3 police officers who of course could do nothing useful. The constant insulting behaviour is wearing my wife down, yes, we have issues with this woman and any one who understands Thais and the deeply ingrained Thai attitude to prostitution and being referred to as bar-girls would understand. You clearly do not grasp how they view this.

[FritsSikkink]

A taller wall between the two properties?

A sprinkler system directed towards the neighbors place that can be switched on minutes before your wiife leaves your house?

Order your wife to calm down.

The offending property is opposite - across the road. Sprinkler system - joke right?

Order wife to calm down? She is Thai and I've already said she is at her wits end, 1) she would not accept orders from me and I don't blame her, she is a wife, not a servant and 2) she is hurting badly and is coming unravelled so your comments do not help.

Has anyone got any sound and reasonable sympathetic advice to help my poor wife?

Grow a pair of balls and sort out that woman

[bubba1]

Get help from the Pujai Bahn,(spelling police?)Chances are the girl has had problems before and if she really is mental unstable she is not to blame.

It is wise to try and win her over to your side,your wife should understand how the system works.

Try to get some help from inside the village,if this turns violent you are the one who is going to lose.

The fact that the girl is obese has nothing to do with this at all,why did you mention this?

Maybe try and talk to her and buy her a present?Have you talked to the parents directly?

I hope you can solve this in a peaceful way and moving is not necessary.

It is time for you to take charge!The wife wants to buy a gun?Are you kidding me?

It is not only your wife but you also have a bad attitude towards this girl,calling her a nutter does not do you any good.

Your think your marriage is on the clips because of this?Sounds like your wife has a few issues.

Maybe ignoring the insults and give a friendly wave?

Obese people often had bad attitudes and are jealous of others such as his wife. Totally relevant imo.

[cliveshep]

I didn't mean any disrespect to your wife or to appear callous but my wife listens to me and knows the final word is mine.

Is this not the way it is for most farang men with Thai wives?

No offense taken.

Lucky you if you have the final word! I could have but I'd suffer for a long time if I forced her. We are partners, I provide money of course, but how we spend it is shared decision. We try and find a place of agreement on things - makes life peaceful. She looks after me just fine - but this is a slow build that is seriously taking it's toll.

We needed this big house - my kids came to stay, one is still here until September. Hopefully we can weather this until he goes, then I might lock up the house and go rent somewhere until it is sold just to preserve her sanity.

[Honkie]

Go and get a solicitor and take the neighbour to court , better than losing the wits and your home . Make sure you go with your wife to discuss with the solicitor . Moving is the last resort , what are you going to do if your new neighbour is in the same category ? Are you going to cut off both of your legs to avoid snakes ?

Ever watch " Neighbour from Hell " ? Why should the relationship between you and wife suffer because of a stupid neighbour ?

If a letter from your solicitor doesn't help . then the next phase is to SHAME her , video her in her antics and put them up the social media.

Try this first and keep us posted.

[cliveshep]

A taller wall between the two properties?

A sprinkler system directed towards the neighbors place that can be switched on minutes before your wiife leaves your house?

Order your wife to calm down.

The offending property is opposite - across the road. Sprinkler system - joke right?

Order wife to calm down? She is Thai and I've already said she is at her wits end, 1) she would not accept orders from me and I don't blame her, she is a wife, not a servant and 2) she is hurting badly and is coming unravelled so your comments do not help.

Has anyone got any sound and reasonable sympathetic advice to help my poor wife?

Grow a pair of balls and sort out that woman

And spend final years in a Thai prison before being deported if I was still alive. Like THAT advice is sensible! Get real!

[cliveshep]

Go and get a solicitor and take the neighbour to court , better than losing the wits and your home . Make sure you go with your wife to discuss with the solicitor . Moving is the last resort , what are you going to do if your new neighbour is in the same category ? Are you going to cut off both of your legs to avoid snakes ?

Ever watch " Neighbour from Hell " ? Why should the relationship between you and wife suffer because of a stupid neighbour ?

If a letter from your solicitor doesn't help . then the next phase is to SHAME her , video her in her antics and put them up the social media.

Try this first and keep us posted.

If this was the UK she'd be in court pdq, here? I don't know. I'll ask my wife to investigate lawyers, they don't have solicitors here do they? On the face of it that is sound advice, thanks.

We got a gun for snakes so I can keep my legs lol.

[JHolmesJr]

You can make some serious cash from this situation.

Find out her name (LETS SAY ITS PORN) and start a blog called THE ANTICS OF LADY PORN

Do a short bio on Lady Porn (watch the wording, nothing that can be construed as defamatory, keep it light and entertaining) and keep updating it with videos daily…your wife must carry a handy cam with her and film while she is walking out….tell her to take her time and record as much as she can, without saying anything nasty or goading..its guaranteed to go viral…..

Then the media might show up to do an interview or a variety show.

Treat this as a fun hobby….revenge tastes better when you do it slowly and on your terms.

Dont dabble in anything illegal or you will lose the people's sympathy.

I promise you she will stop once the abuse starts pouring in online.

Edited July 30, 2016 by JHolmesJr

[ClutchClark]

You can make some serious cash from this situation.

Find out her name (LETS SAY ITS PORN) and start a blog called THE ANTICS OF LADY PORN

Do a short intro on her and keep updating it with videos daily.its guaranteed to go viral.

Then the media might show up to do an interview or a variety show.

Treat this as a fun hobby.revenge tastes better when you do it slowly and on your terms.

Dont dabble in anything illegal or you will lose the people's sympathy.

I promise you she will stop once the abuse starts pouring in online.

Seriously the best advice to date.

Guys of the OP and myself don't recognize social media for the great tool it can be.

You already have the CCTV so build a "Best Of" compilation.

And a second lesson I just learned is to not get on JHolmesJR's bad side.

[Squeegee]

Get help from the Pujai Bahn,(spelling police?)Chances are the girl has had problems before and if she really is mental unstable she is not to blame.

It is wise to try and win her over to your side,your wife should understand how the system works.

Try to get some help from inside the village,if this turns violent you are the one who is going to lose.

The fact that the girl is obese has nothing to do with this at all,why did you mention this?

Maybe try and talk to her and buy her a present?Have you talked to the parents directly?

I hope you can solve this in a peaceful way and moving is not necessary.

It is time for you to take charge!The wife wants to buy a gun?Are you kidding me?

It is not only your wife but you also have a bad attitude towards this girl,calling her a nutter does not do you any good.

Your think your marriage is on the clips because of this?Sounds like your wife has a few issues.

Maybe ignoring the insults and give a friendly wave?

"Maybe try and talk to her and buy her a present?"

Out of touch. This woman already forced out two Thai nationals and has a history of offensive behaviour and you're suggesting she'll be appeased by being given a present! A preposterous suggestion after "...and if she really is mental [sic] unstable she is not to blame." Presents cure mental illness?

So there she is hurling abuse and you also suggest to respond with a friendly wave?! That could easily exacerbate the situation, not just from misunderstanding (assumed sarcasm) but quite simply because many people who make a habit of throwing their poo at others are not reasonable people.

Normal, decent folk get driven to distraction by problem neighbours. It doesn't mean the OP's wife - the victim here - deserves to be blamed for having 'issues'... or whatever that foul taste in the mouth was.

Since you feel qualified to dictate to the OP's wife on what you think her knowledge of her own culture should be, would you care to answer how, if two Thai women are in conflict, it therefore implies one may not "...understand how the system works"?

Edited July 30, 2016 by Squeegee

[JHolmesJr]

You can make some serious cash from this situation.

Find out her name (LETS SAY ITS PORN) and start a blog called THE ANTICS OF LADY PORN

Do a short intro on her and keep updating it with videos daily.its guaranteed to go viral.

Then the media might show up to do an interview or a variety show.

Treat this as a fun hobby.revenge tastes better when you do it slowly and on your terms.

Dont dabble in anything illegal or you will lose the people's sympathy.

I promise you she will stop once the abuse starts pouring in online.

Seriously the best advice to date.

Guys of the OP and myself don't recognize social media for the great tool it can be.

You already have the CCTV so build a "Best Of" compilation.

And a second lesson I just learned is to not get on JHolmesJR's bad side.

I wish I could take full credit mate but this is not an original idea….it is very effective though….

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/10216146/German-tourist-takes-blog-revenge-on-the-man-who-stole-her-smartphone.html

Edited July 30, 2016 by JHolmesJr