Some thoughts before moving abroad

[JAFO]

I found this to be quite a good assessment by the author in 4 paragraphs. Lots to think about. Thought I would pass it along for some thinking about it. Funny too as I read it, I realize some of the posters didn't consider any of them based on the behavior in this forum.

No. 1: retiring overseas isn’t a vacation

After you’ve packed up your life, said goodbye to your friends and moved to your new exotic overseas home, there will soon come that moment when you realize: This is not a vacation, this is my life.

There are bills to be paid and chores to be dealt with. Finding the best markets and restaurants, making new friends and learning the ropes in your new location is fun, but eventually you’re going to need to find something more.

Many people plan for their financial needs in retirement, but they neglect the psychological and emotional aspects. That’s a big mistake. You don’t want to spend the best years of your life just frittering your time away. Although it might seem so at first, living abroad is not in itself an actual activity.

So before you start out, come up with a project (or many) and prepare to do things you’ll find rewarding. If you haven’t discovered your passions, this is the perfect time to find them. If you already know your passions, this is a perfect time to delve into them further.

No. 2: comfort and happiness aren’t the same

One of the things I used to hear over and over from people like me nearing retirement age was that they just wanted to be comfortable in retirement. Mostly they were referring to their finances, but often they were also talking about creating a sort of secure cocoon somewhere where they could hide from their worries, too. Problem is, as I’ve since learned, comfort and happiness aren’t the same thing.

As people get older, they tend to start playing it safe while sacrificing their happiness. To me, there would be nothing sadder than to move somewhere and be seduced into a life with plenty of comfort, but little happiness. Wouldn’t it be better to use retirement abroad as an opportunity to push our comfort zones and find out new things about the world and ourselves?

No. 3: no place is perfect

As I’ve been traveling the world in retirement, I’ve discovered that it’s truly an amazing place, but if you go looking for perfection you’re going to be disappointed.

Every place has periods of bad weather, dodgy parts of town and potholes. Bureaucracies and inefficiencies exist everywhere (albeit, more in some places than others). If you let them, they can be doubly frustrating when you don’t know the culture.

How you deal with the negative aspects of any place comes down to a choice: They can be a trying ordeal or a challenging adventure.

In my experience, people who thrive abroad are the ones who are mentally prepared for dealing with things that are less than perfect.

Paradise is an attitude as much as it is a place.

No. 4: the world isn’t that scary after all

Before I headed out on my new adventure, I was a little fearful of what I might find in some exotic locations. But I can now report that despite the way things are presented in the 24-hour news cycle, the world isn’t that dangerous or scary.

So before you write off a place based on the latest event or news headline, do your homework. It’s entirely possible that hyped-up events in the news might keep you from going to a place that is safer than where you are now.

Fear is a phenomenon that is largely media-driven and marketing-created. I can’t begin to tell you how many people I’ve met overseas who, after watching their own country’s news channels, say they’d be afraid to go to into a movie theater or a school in the U.S. We know doing those things are safe, but media exploitation can make some foreigners think otherwise.

Here’s the most important thing I’ve learned retiring abroad: There are far more places to live overseas filled with wonderful people who will generously accept you into their community than there are places where people wish you harm.

English is spoken widely and no matter how far afield you travel, chances are there will be someone with at least a basic knowledge of it. Knowing how to say “hello,” “please” and “thank you” in the local lingo will get you started. Having a great attitude and a genuine smile while you’re learning the native language will get you even further.

Edited July 30, 2016 by JAFO

[Jingthing]

Credit for the above post is to JONATHON LOOK:

http://www.nextavenue.org/4-things-i-wish-id-known-retiring-abroad/

 

He has an interesting website which includes Thailand content. Such as best hamburger in Chiang Mai. Now, that's really going native! 

http://lifepart2.com/

 

OK, I plead guilty. It's a pet peeve of mine to see large  blocks of text posted without giving the source.

Edited August 1, 2016 by Jingthing

[owenm]

A great topic with insight. One cannot expect perfect harmony wherever they decide to retire to. No place will ever be perfect in all ways. 

[Mudcrab]

N0 5...what is the price of baht busses?

 

This forum has become so boring......

[rogeroc]

I think No 1 is incorrect especially 'there are bills to be paid and chores to be dealt with'.

Sell your property in your home country and regularly collect the interest along with your pension and eat into your savings as you need. Make sure your Condo bill includes once or twice a week cleaning and take your washing to the laundry next door. Do all this and your retirement can be one long vacation.

Many people retire overseas and make their life just as difficult as pre retirement by:

 

Renting their property in their homeland

Getting married to a local girl

Buying a house

Buying a car

 

Edited August 1, 2016 by rogeroc

[bazza40]

If you treat life in Thailand as a daily adventure, retirement is great.

[riceyummm]

A very thoughtful and right on post by the OP. #4 is one of my pet peeves where media is concerned. With seven billion people in the world there is no shortage of horror stories to feed the media's "if it bleeds it leads" focus. It sells advertising but distorts people's perception of the world in general. My mother was a perfect example, she lived in a retirement community where almost NOTHING ever happened but she was thoroughly convinced that drug crazed lunatics were gathering right outside her door planning to break in and wreak havoc on her tidy existence. With no knowledge of human conditions throughout history it's easy to buy into the perception that the human race is on a downhill spiral into mayhem. It's simply not so.

[starky]

Should know all this before retiring anyway where ever you may choose to retire. 

[ozyjon]

On 01/08/2016 at 2:41 PM, bazza40 said:

If you treat life in Thailand as a daily adventure, retirement is great.

 

So i get up every morning, at the crack of dawn,,

about 11.30 - 11.45 am, oh be quiet.

I do my thing, look in the mirror, who is that guy,

i saw him yesterday,, realize i made it through the

night, whoa, another great day for me, 

[JB300]

I aree with #1, I retired at 40 & was climbing the walls after 3 months as I didn't know what to do with myself (going from a 12 hour day, 6 days a week to nothing was like hitting a brick wall), tried it again at 49 & much better (mentally) prepared (though only lasted a year as I was tempted back into employment for another couple of years).

 

 

[dageurreotype]

The writer forgot to add a no. 5. That 'tropical paradise' becomes a 'third world shithole' eventually.

[Chapelroad]

6 minutes ago, dageurreotype said:

The writer forgot to add a no. 5. That 'tropical paradise' becomes a 'third world shithole' eventually.

 

Life's what you make it.

[dageurreotype]

Just now, Chapelroad said:

 

Life's what you make it.

 

'Life's what happens to you whilst you're busy planning other things' - John Lennon (and he should know ..)

[Chapelroad]

Just now, dageurreotype said:

 

'Life's what happens to you whilst you're busy planning other things' - John Lennon (and he should know ..)

 

Ask Mark Chapman.

[JAFO]

On 8/1/2016 at 8:41 PM, bazza40 said:

If you treat life in Thailand as a daily adventure, retirement is great.

 

I agree. Goes for anywhere quite honestly. While I am not retired yet (I tried like hell but the offer was too good to pass up) but being here in Thailand working affords me the opportunity to establish myself both socially and mentally.  

On 8/1/2016 at 10:48 PM, riceyummm said:

A very thoughtful and right on post by the OP. #4 is one of my pet peeves where media is concerned. With seven billion people in the world there is no shortage of horror stories to feed the media's "if it bleeds it leads" focus. It sells advertising but distorts people's perception of the world in general. My mother was a perfect example, she lived in a retirement community where almost NOTHING ever happened but she was thoroughly convinced that drug crazed lunatics were gathering right outside her door planning to break in and wreak havoc on her tidy existence. With no knowledge of human conditions throughout history it's easy to buy into the perception that the human race is on a downhill spiral into mayhem. It's simply not so.

 

Yes my biggest heartburn about the US is the image they portray of other places yet the US looking back in is just as scary as seen from here. Its all media hype driven because fear and shock value sells. I remember when I was here during the 2005 coup. It made US headlines and my friends and family all freaked out. Said leave that place the country is in turmoil. I had to say settle down. Its not as the media shows it. Same with the Yellow shirt event and the Red shirt stuff in BKK. Many people up North had no idea that there was even an issue in BKK. It was like 2 square miles of political posturing. I have people here that say they are afraid to go to the US. Said way too many random shootings. I just laugh. Same media nonsense. People need to learn how to filter it or do as I do and do not even watch it. My life is so much nicer with out the news.  

[ardokano]

On 01/08/2016 at 5:50 PM, rogeroc said:

 

Buying a car

 

How in Thailand can with out car? If no normal pablic transport?

Only in Bangkok have taxi

Car in thailand  make more easy life.

[dddave]

On 8/1/2016 at 4:20 PM, owenm said:

A great topic with insight. One cannot expect perfect harmony wherever they decide to retire to. No place will ever be perfect in all ways. 

Add to this; you are who you are no matter where you are. If you are an unhappy or chronically depressed person or have unresolved personal issues, moving to another country won't change that.

Deal with what you need to deal with.

[ThaiPauly]

On 8/1/2016 at 5:50 PM, rogeroc said:

I think No 1 is incorrect especially 'there are bills to be paid and chores to be dealt with'.

Sell your property in your home country and regularly collect the interest along with your pension and eat into your savings as you need. Make sure your Condo bill includes once or twice a week cleaning and take your washing to the laundry next door. Do all this and your retirement can be one long vacation.

Many people retire overseas and make their life just as difficult as pre retirement by:

 

Renting their property in their homeland

Getting married to a local girl

Buying a house

Buying a car

 

I have done all those things and am very happy with my lot

[Franky Bear]

The most important thing is make sure you can stand up, pick up a bag of belongings got to the airport and get home and have enough money to go back home and live for a good few months if things go wrong.

You are always a guest in a country you choose to live in.

[jobin]

How could i get to the golf course without a car?  Oh, i know some guys who carry the golf bag on the back while motorbiking a Honda tiny, but that is not my style at all. When i pull up at the clubhouse bag drop and pop the boot of the Bentley then i know both, comfort and happiness.  And the caddies do swoon, so that too is nice for me.  Motorbike?  Not even a Harley, or big BMW, will get that much attention.

[thai3]

The most essential thing to have in an uncivilized dump like Thailand is good ear plugs.

[geriatrickid]

One need only look to  the fundamental law of survival: Adapt or Perish. That's all there is to it.

 

This thread provides insight into the reason why so many  people do not do well when they move to Thailand: They do not have the necessary emotional stability,  skills, nor financial means to do so. All truisms.  They would have failed in their own countries had they remained there, but instead they come to Thailand and fail. As there are no social services to help them, they fail in some very depressing and horrible ways. One need only look at the  case of the Frenchman who drank a bottle of wine and sprawled out naked in the  soi wailing  and flailing.  Failures cannot adapt to their changed environments because they lack the emotional and physical assets to do so.

 

Expressions such as "pushing the comfort zone" are foolish. This is not a one size fits all situation. Everyone has to know his/her limitations and live with them. Another entry in the pop psychology fluff section isn't going to change things for the better. I understand why some people prefer comfort over what the OP defines as "happiness". It works for them and only these people know what really works.

 

Sorry to say, the majority of people who fail in Thailand were losers to start with. Facilitating their fall into despair in Thailand is their limited financial position. It's their own doing. Oh yes, I have heard the sob stories about wives who "stole" money. What is never mentioned is how the man  was a bounder and was busy rogering the maid or a  bar girl, while the wife and family were neglected. I get to read about tales of the "ugly" wife written from perspective if an obese slob with disgusting  teeth and hygiene, and who reeks of stale beer and wet cigarette butts. Yes, I have heard the sob stories of  the men who's  kids  want nothing to do with them. What's not mentioned is how they were horrible father's neglecting the kids, or beating them or inflicting pain and trauma. It's always someone else's fault.  They get ripped off by Thais in "business" deals. What's never mentioned is that these business deals are almost always illegit or are of dubious  structure.  

 

Despite all the sad tales, there are people who do  quite well.  Rich or of modest means, educated or not, they all  share some characteristics: Common sense, emotional stability including  restraint, and the ability to adapt to change.  One cannot buy common sense or   emotional stability and sadly so many of the foreigners I have seen in Thailand are cringe worthy losers, especially in the tourist areas  that cater to exploiting their weaknesses.

 

Want to be happy in Thailand? Be of decent physical and mental health and have money in the bank. Have friends and hobbies. Have a skill of some sort like carpentry, or gardening or birdwatching or volunteering or hiking. be able to enjoy the company of young kids who will reinvigorate one's love of life with their laughter and sense of fun. Be able to see the beauty in a gecko on the wall or a cat sunning himself on a chair. Be able to float above the chaos and filth that is everywhere. Do that and you will do well.

 

[Scotwight]

On 8/1/2016 at 3:28 PM, Jingthing said:

Credit for the above post is to JONATHON LOOK:

http://www.nextavenue.org/4-things-i-wish-id-known-retiring-abroad/

 

He has an interesting website which includes Thailand content. Such as best hamburger in Chiang Mai. Now, that's really going native! 

http://lifepart2.com/

 

OK, I plead guilty. It's a pet peeve of mine to see large  blocks of text posted without giving the source.

Isn't it also against some Thai Visa rule about only copying 2 sentences for fair use or something like that?  Maybe special rules for special people though.