Just want to make sure I'm not being scammed

[Haus23]

I say take the risk, living life is taking chances... u dun move, u'll be at the same place.. minimize losses if u really r in a scam, can be calculative n be very mindful, then go enjoy your life... being too analytical will not get u anywhere romantic.. 
good luck...

 

ps.. not all Thais r con-people, some, actually most r very nice ppl.. ok.. ok some r really nasty, just avoid them.. 

[SOTIRIOS]

....he is risking very little....

 

...keep that in mind all along your 'relationship'....

 

...many before you...with more experience....have lost sight somewhere along the way....and paid dearly....

 

...you have very few rights once you come here.....

 

...people will try to be helpful.....

 

...they will appeal to your civilized and romantic nature.....two qualities that they can easily feign....

 

...then you will get caught.....

 

...I wish you luck.....oh....and maybe read up on statistics about certain diseases here.....

 

...you may even reconsider.....

 

....a slight mishap......visit to the hospital.....could cost you tens of thousands.....

 

....or you could be framed for a crime....then your life is over......

 

 

 

 

[ClutchClark]

2 minutes ago, SOTIRIOS said:

....he is risking very little....

 

...keep that in mind all along your 'relationship'....

 

...many before you...with more experience....have lost sight somewhere along the way....and paid dearly....

 

...you have very few rights once you come here.....

 

...people will try to be helpful.....

 

...they will appeal to your civilized and romantic nature.....two qualities that they can easily feign....

 

...then you will get caught.....

 

...I wish you luck.....oh....and maybe read up on statistics about certain diseases here.....

 

...you may even reconsider.....

 

....a slight mishap......visit to the hospital.....could cost you tens of thousands.....

 

....or you could be framed for a crime....then your life is over......

 

 

 

 

 

What are you working on a new novel?

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, robblok said:

Some people learn faster than others.. some will never learn.

 

I would hate to go through life suspecting everyone.

Hmmmm. When I venture on the roads I assume they might ( though not on purpose ) kill me, so I drive cautiously. If money comes into any conversation with people I don't know, I am cautious. What is wrong with that? As long as money is not involved, I don't suspect anyone of anything. I don't assume that people want to assasinate me just for being a farang.

[thaibeachlovers]

40 minutes ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

You made some good points but what is it with you and this age thing? Did you have a bad experience or are you just a younger guy guessing?

 

I don't know where you are from but in my Home Country Couples tend to get married close to heir own age and the Divorce Rate their is about 50%. I was a good example of that. In Thailand I have had much better success and I see and know of several Winter-Summer Relationships, although I am sure they all don't work out perfectly either. But even though they don't keep official records of this I am sure that this Divorce Rate in these Winter-Summer Relationships are not as high as this normal 50% or worst than that.

 

In my Home Country it is also not unusual for a Man and his Wife to share assets and bank accounts, when the Man is earning a far higher income, or even when his wife is a stay at home mom. Again I speak form experience. So it surprises me when so many other people talk so negatively about a man giving his wife an allowance here, when he earns far more money than she does, and he is accused of buying his love just because there is an age difference. Is he expected to give his wife nothing and to let her starve and walk around in rags just because he is older and is trying to prove a point to people he doesn't really care about?    

Is he expected to give his wife nothing and to let her starve and walk around in rags

 

LOL. She was probably earning her own money before the farang white knight turned up to save her from her terrible life and it was probably as much as most Thais make, even the millions that never meet a farang.

IMO a farang that gives his Thai wife everything is in fact "buying" her. Try not giving her anything and see how long she stays to be sure if she really loves the farang, or is in it just for the money.

That's different from paying rent for a decent place to live and paying the bills. I'd hate to live in a place that my wife could afford on her wage, and there'd be no AC or cable tv if she had to pay the bills.

However, I also learned long before getting married that she assumes all her money is for her, and sharing the bills is a farang concept, so I accepted that when I did get married, but she does earn her own money.

[robblok]

52 minutes ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

You made some good points but what is it with you and this age thing? Did you have a bad experience or are you just a younger guy guessing?

 

I don't know where you are from but in my Home Country Couples tend to get married close to heir own age and the Divorce Rate their is about 50%. I was a good example of that. In Thailand I have had much better success and I see and know of several Winter-Summer Relationships, although I am sure they all don't work out perfectly either. But even though they don't keep official records of this I am sure that this Divorce Rate in these Winter-Summer Relationships are not as high as this normal 50% or worst than that.

 

In my Home Country it is also not unusual for a Man and his Wife to share assets and bank accounts, when the Man is earning a far higher income, or even when his wife is a stay at home mom. Again I speak form experience. So it surprises me when so many other people talk so negatively about a man giving his wife an allowance here, when he earns far more money than she does, and he is accused of buying his love just because there is an age difference. Is he expected to give his wife nothing and to let her starve and walk around in rags just because he is older and is trying to prove a point to people he doesn't really care about?     

Because the age thing is a fact no matter how much you like to disagree with it. The girls really are not into older unless the financial reward is substantial. I have had quite a few conversations with girls about it. Mostly with girls that are financially independent. They were quite clear about it how they thought about it and what the girls saw in those guys. Now im sure there are girls that are into older, but its like winning the lottery.. everyone talks about it but few reallly win.

 

Now if your married if your so sure of yourself just give your wife full access to your money and see how that goes. Now I know that some age gap relations work but most just don't. Personally I have no problem with it only i get bored with guys moaning and bitching about it when it goes wrong. 

 

It also depends on the age gap.. personally i have had a relation with a girl half my age and found it hard. Its hard to relate to things as both are in different stages of their life. But then again if you only want someone to clean cook and have sex with you would probably be ok. I like the more independent and intelligent woman.

 

Anyway just my opinion on this subject.. i dont mind age gap relations.. i mind the guys moaning about it when it go wrong and then saying that all thai girls are after money and such.  

[ClutchClark]

All this hoopla over the age gap...what comedy.

 

My wife loves being married to an older man. (I turn 80 this year.)

 

She constantly complains the younger men her own age are still so immature.

 

[al007]

Online be careful, on the street be careful, just be careful

 

I met and married wife no 3 online, I married her, with friends of hers I wound up being beaten by police, in my own apartment, held in jail no lawyer no embassy, two weeks, I lost 90% of my world wide assets, including two beautiful beachfront apartments, I survived and escaped, the country ISRAEL  !   !   !

 

I met wife no 4 here in Thailand, eight yrs on so far all OK or actually wonderful, and made back a lot of what I lost

 

Nothing ventured nothing gained, after no 3 I could have just hidden and been miserable

[F4UCorsair]

The thing I would be wary of is his half not arriving via PayPal, and asking for your PP details, but that's a pretty simple one, and not difficult to spot.

 

If the money doesn't arrive after he says he's sent it, then alarm bells would be ringing for me.

 

Just be cautious, keep your wits about you.  The Thais are apparently very good at separating a farang from his $$.

[The manic]

Always pay for play and pay as you go. Then there is never a problem.

[Rod Gold]

I think you are a luck guy.  Enjoy your new friend and give up all the unwarranted suspicion. 

[adwbkk]

I agree with the last poster, why does he have to send you any money?   Why does any money need to change hands at all.   You pay for your trip to Chiang Mai and then you share expenses.   Pretty simple.

[Odysseus123]

Don't do it!

 

No financial transactions of any kind should be undertaken unless you have met the person and checked out their background.

 

...and even then be very,very cautious as Thais are adept at the game of smoke and mirrors and even though most go for the financial jugular pretty quickly there are more than a few that are quite capable of playing a longer game.

[smotherb]

On 8/2/2016 at 7:28 AM, allane said:

In 21 years here, I could count on one hand the number of times a Thai person has ever offered to buy me anything. But, it is hard to see that you have much to lose, other than the prospect of a romance. If you're ever asked to provide cash in advance, that changes everything.

 

I feel for you allane. Perhaps, you have been friendly with the wrong Thais. I have two Thai friends with whom I almost have to argue for them to allow me to pay for anything. I have several more Thai acquaintances who certainly stand their shout for drinks and pay their share. And, I have Thai in-laws who invite me over for dinner, pay for dinner out as often as I, and always bring something when invited to dinner at our house.  Gee, just like friends and family; imagine that.

[ericthai]

On 8/1/2016 at 9:31 PM, robblok said:

I seen guys with no intention at all of being serious hooking up with girls acting all sincere and then after they got what they wanted dump them. Also guys juggling around multiple girls at the same time and then acting surprised if some dont take it and lash out.

Sure there are bad girls around too, but in general if you treat them fair and are in a similar age group / looks then there are plenty of good ones around. 

Guess it does depend where you look.. in Pattaya it might be a lot harder than in BKK.

And these are the girls that after happening to them a few times become bitter and cold and then are only out for money. My friend in BKK owns a bar and I have seen it many times. The girl is played, thinks she found the guy that will give he a good life only to find out she was lied too. Then the next guy pays the dues....

[balo]

Just wait for the money , if it arrives he is genuine, if not forget it. 

 

[gemguy]

Just have an exit strategy if things start to go sideways.

 

Cheers

[GOLDBUGGY]

19 hours ago, robblok said:

20 hours ago, robblok said:

Because the age thing is a fact no matter how much you like to disagree with it. The girls really are not into older unless the financial reward is substantial. I have had quite a few conversations with girls about it. Mostly with girls that are financially independent. They were quite clear about it how they thought about it and what the girls saw in those guys. Now im sure there are girls that are into older, but its like winning the lottery.. everyone talks about it but few reallly win.

 

Now if your married if your so sure of yourself just give your wife full access to your money and see how that goes. Now I know that some age gap relations work but most just don't. Personally I have no problem with it only i get bored with guys moaning and bitching about it when it goes wrong. 

 

It also depends on the age gap.. personally i have had a relation with a girl half my age and found it hard. Its hard to relate to things as both are in different stages of their life. But then again if you only want someone to clean cook and have sex with you would probably be ok. I like the more independent and intelligent woman.

 

Anyway just my opinion on this subject.. i dont mind age gap relations.. i mind the guys moaning about it when it go wrong and then saying that all thai girls are after money and such.  

Because the age thing is a fact no matter how much you like to disagree with it. The girls really are not into older unless the financial reward is substantial. I have had quite a few conversations with girls about it. Mostly with girls that are financially independent. They were quite clear about it how they thought about it and what the girls saw in those guys. Now im sure there are girls that are into older, but its like winning the lottery.. everyone talks about it but few reallly win.

 

Now if your married if your so sure of yourself just give your wife full access to your money and see how that goes. Now I know that some age gap relations work but most just don't. Personally I have no problem with it only i get bored with guys moaning and bitching about it when it goes wrong. 

 

It also depends on the age gap.. personally i have had a relation with a girl half my age and found it hard. Its hard to relate to things as both are in different stages of their life. But then again if you only want someone to clean cook and have sex with you would probably be ok. I like the more independent and intelligent woman.

 

Anyway just my opinion on this subject.. i dont mind age gap relations.. i mind the guys moaning about it when it go wrong and then saying that all thai girls are after money and such.  

The "age thing" in Thailand is only a fact when it has been proved to be a fact and not just because you said so. Since you failed to show any statistics here where it states that the Divorce Rate in Thailand is higher than the average, when there is an bigger age difference, or that "age gap" relationships mostly don't work, as you claim, then your fact is only your thoughts, and in your case only a myth.

 

I personally know of several Winter-Summer Relationships that are working out great were both are happy. I think we both can agree that you will probably see more Winter-Summer Relationships here in Thailand than you would back home. Like Lady-Boys. Otherwise it wouldn't be such a Hot Topic. So if you want some real hard facts then here is some for you.

 

The Divorce Rate in the United States is 53%. In Canada it is 48%. In the UK 47%. Germany is 49% and France is 55%. So you can also forget that myth that French is the Language of Love. Judging by the Divorce Rate in France, there is probably more swearing going on then words of Love in those households. But in Thailand the Divorce Rate is only 25%. So how do you explain that in a country like Thailand, which probably has double the Winter-Summer Relationships compared to the West, and you claim these age gap relationships are more likely for failure and are falling apart, only has a Divorce Rate of above half of the West? According to you it should be double. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography

 

As far as asking College Girls who they see as a Dream Husband, and what they think of Winter-Summer Relationships, you might as well ask a 9 Year Old Girl what she wants to be when she grows up. This is because both of there answers will be the same. Young, Handsome, and Rich. Odd that none will say they want to marry some unemployed drunk man, but even more odd many end up with just such a man.

 

But speaking of College Girl Aged Women, then next time you talk to them try to ask them something different. Ask them what they think of a 50 Year Old Woman marrying a 23 Year Old Man. You may be very surprised at their answers. This is because now, when the shoe is on the other foot, they will see nothing wrong with this, as long as they love each other. Or if they share common goals. Or if they are a good fit together why not?

 

As far as people moaning here about a shaky Thai Divorce, this is Thaivisa, which subject matters that deal with Thailand. A  Bitter Divorce will always get people moaning about it. Just go to a Western Forum and you will see the same thing, or worst. But the real beauty about this Forum is that nobody will make you read someone else's post if you don't want to. So if this moaning bothers you so much may I suggest that you just don't read them.          

 

 

 

[GOLDBUGGY]

21 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Is he expected to give his wife nothing and to let her starve and walk around in rags

 

LOL. She was probably earning her own money before the farang white knight turned up to save her from her terrible life and it was probably as much as most Thais make, even the millions that never meet a farang.

IMO a farang that gives his Thai wife everything is in fact "buying" her. Try not giving her anything and see how long she stays to be sure if she really loves the farang, or is in it just for the money.

That's different from paying rent for a decent place to live and paying the bills. I'd hate to live in a place that my wife could afford on her wage, and there'd be no AC or cable tv if she had to pay the bills.

However, I also learned long before getting married that she assumes all her money is for her, and sharing the bills is a farang concept, so I accepted that when I did get married, but she does earn her own money.

"Try not giving her anything and see how long she stays to be sure if she really loves the farang, or is in it just for the money."

 

So are you suggesting that the secret to a happy relationship is to treat your wife like crap just to test if she loves you? Well, I can't speak for the rest of the guys but with my wife and the women I knew in the past, and if you treated them like crap, they won't love you or stay with you after that either. To be honest, I wouldn't blame them one bit for that either. So it doesn't seem like much of a true test for love as far as I am concerned.  

 

Maybe I am Old Fashioned and different but I was raised by my Mom to respect the Female Sex. To treat them nice and to pull a chair out for them to sit down for dinner or open a door for them. I was taught by my Father to also respect the woman and that it was a mans responsibility to support his family. Which last time I looked included his wife.

 

Nobody says you need to give your wife or girlfriend everything you own. A little Common Sense goes a long way at anytime. Nobody says that it is wrong for your wife to work also. Each relationship is different. Some men need there wives to work to make ends meet. Others don't. In my case I prefer to have my wife home with me even though she has graduated from University. She is busy enough with me, the house, and the farm to look after. More so then the 15,000 Baht she could be earning working 6 days a week.

 

Just one question for you though. If your test of your wife's love for you is to give her nothing, like you said, then what is her test and proof of love from you? To give you nothing as well? Don't know what you or others thing, but if I was in a relationship in which we both were giving each other nothing, I would sooner be single again and not tied to a nothing relationship.

  

[AlexRich]

He may have been influenced by the last UK man to "marry" a Thai guy. If my memory serves me right the Sin Sod was set at 5 million baht?

 

On a serious note, if you are not being asked for money just go with the flow ... there are honest people here too. At least you are aware of the dangers, which is more than most.

[The manic]

Marriage to a Thai makes even less sense than marriage to a western women as for dating Thai lads - no idea.