Romancing a Thai woman

[fusion58]

It's important to remember that romantic love, as we know it, is a specifically Western phenomenon that emerged sometime during the Middle Ages. In other traditional cultures, marriages were arranged, and matches were decided by purely social, political and economic considerations; personal feeling didn't enter into it.

 

The influence of Western culture being comparatively recent, romance is just not in the average Thai female's DNA to the extent that you might imagine or expect.

 

 

[trainman34014]

Take it from a professional lifetime sufferer of Women.

 

Lesson 1......Never try to understand a Woman....period.

 

End of lessons !

[pumpjack]

i had to laugh when i read the headline " romancing a thai woman "  555+

 

i wont even bother to read down some of your replies but heres mine as i dont want to waste your time or my time.

 

if you have a pocketfull of cash then your fine ,  no need for " romancing "

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, trainman34014 said:

Take it from a professional lifetime sufferer of Women.

 

Lesson 1......Never try to understand a Woman....period.

 

End of lessons !

After 26 years of working with thousands ( in hospitals around the world ) and getting to know hundreds of women reasonably well, I came to the conclusion that no man can ever understand a woman and visa versa.

 

The Boss said it well. Read the entire lyrics.

 

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/brucespringsteen/secretgarden.html

 

She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
Then she'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away

 

Edited October 15, 2016 by thaibeachlovers

[villagefarang]

I completely disagree with the notion women are unfathomable and men shouldn’t even try to understand them.  Blaming them for your own shortcomings is really weak.

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, villagefarang said:

I completely disagree with the notion women are unfathomable and men shouldn’t even try to understand them.  Blaming them for your own shortcomings is really weak.

You base your opinion on your intimate experience with how many women? Most men associate with only a few hundred ( if that ) and get to know even fewer well in a lifetime.

Saying hello to unknown women at a party doesn't count, unless you went home with them after.

 

Blaming them for your own shortcomings is really weak

Who mentioned shortcomings?

Edited October 15, 2016 by thaibeachlovers

[AYJAYDEE]

38 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You base your opinion on your intimate experience with how many women? Most men associate with only a few hundred ( if that ) and get to know even fewer well in a lifetime.

Saying hello to unknown women at a party doesn't count, unless you went home with them after.

 

Blaming them for your own shortcomings is really weak

Who mentioned shortcomings?

 

neither does saying good morning at work

 

[Kaalle]

What these anecdotes prove is that all of you have been with women who weren't genuinely interested in, or attracted to you. Amazing how it seems to be impossible for people to find a normal thai girl with integrity and her own wallet.

[YeahSiam]

15 hours ago, pumpjack said:

i had to laugh when i read the headline " romancing a thai woman "  555+

 

i wont even bother to read down some of your replies but heres mine as i dont want to waste your time or my time.

 

if you have a pocketfull of cash then your fine ,  no need for " romancing "

 

How original

Cash works with hookers and mercenaries.

If that's what you want you want, fine but I think the OP actually LIKES women.

[metisdead]

A post containing inflammatory comments has been removed as well as the replies. 

[villagefarang]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You base your opinion on your intimate experience with how many women? Most men associate with only a few hundred ( if that ) and get to know even fewer well in a lifetime.

Saying hello to unknown women at a party doesn't count, unless you went home with them after.

 

Blaming them for your own shortcomings is really weak

Who mentioned shortcomings?

I consider the inability to understand women, and the unwillingness to try, a shortcoming and several posters have mentioned that as their go-to position on women.

 

I am not going to get into a pissing match over how many women we have bedded in life but I spent 20 years in Bangkok as a single guy with an extremely active social life before I settled down.  I know women, I like women and I generally prefer their company and conversation to that of men.

[bwpage3]

If you have to ask the forum what she would like, you obviously don't have very close communications with her.

[bwpage3]

On 10/14/2016 at 0:42 PM, Fabricus said:

 

That's a horrible post, but it's horrible because it's true.

 

I've done the same: moonlight swims followed by lingerie-clad adventures in the bedroom.

 

I've had two long term GFs over the last 17 years, and have spent serious cash on romantic underwear.

 

But it all means nothing. They just want you to get it off so they can take. That's the deal: you give; they take. It's incredibly selfish, but unfortunately one of the ways in which this country's version of Buddhism manifests itself.

 

Way too many westerners here will tell you their wife or GF is different. But it's all lies: the lies kick in the moment you start handing over the cash. If you want, you cant substitute the word "lies" for terms and phrases such as "self deception" or "self denial".

 

----------

 

Mr BeachLovers

 

I've followed many of your recent posts. You're obviously now single. Me too.

 

The difference between us might be that I've been through this before. I can see you're feeling slightly jaded.

 

Don't be. You're doing well. You're making an effort to understand things. 

 

The deal is this: you need to change your attitude; you need to toughen up.

 

 

 

How do you call westerners all liars when you don't even know them?

 

Are you bitter because yours did not work out?

 

It seems if foreigners have been married to Thai's for 20 years must be more to it than money?

[F4UCorsair]

Just now, bwpage3 said:

How do you call westerners all liars when you don't even know them?

 

Are you bitter because yours did not work out?

 

It seems if foreigners have been married to Thai's for 20 years must be more to it than money?

 

There is more to it.......MORE money!!!

[JLCrab]

I enjoy it when guys here or elsewhere say that they know or understand women due to their multiplicitous experience. To me, the trick is to put yourself in a position where you don''t have to do either.

[rogeroc]

On 10/15/2016 at 6:52 AM, trainman34014 said:

Take it from a professional lifetime sufferer of Women.

 

Lesson 1......Never try to understand a Woman....period.

 

End of lessons !

 

Even though i know i will never fully understand i still like to try.  Have learnt a bit more from Thais than Western women, once you get past the veneer they can be quite blunt and down to earth. You can still enjoy the company and conversation of women without understanding their 'logic' or dare i say lack of.

Edited October 16, 2016 by rogeroc

[Damrongsak]

On 10/12/2016 at 11:44 PM, KarenBravo said:

Never met a romantic Thai woman in the 35 years I've lived here.

They are far too practical to be romantic.

 

 Don't recall my Thai wife of 38 years being particularly romantic.  Maybe scratch me behind the ear if I did something nice. "Good boy".

 

Dang, we both forgot about our 38th anniversary on Oct 7th.  I usually remember, she never does. 

 

My wife and I started out as acquaintances, having a mutual friend.  Hung around with her brother and family a wee bit.  Hired her to do my laundry and the rest is history.  We did talk homespun philosophy around the dinner table when I was invited to her house.  And taking 2 of her younger siblings on the rare date was always enjoyable.

Edited October 16, 2016 by Damrongsak

[YeahSiam]

16 hours ago, JLCrab said:

I enjoy it when guys here or elsewhere say that they know or understand women due to their multiplicitous experience. To me, the trick is to put yourself in a position where you don''t have to do either.

 

Understandable if you don't have the capacity to do either.

[JLCrab]

2 hours ago, YeahSiam said:

 

Understandable if you don't have the capacity to do either.

 

2 hours ago, YeahSiam said:

 

Capacity has nothing to do with with. It's like with trust: If someone asks 'Do you trust me?' I say that I'd rather not be in a position to HAVE to trust you. But it isn't surprising to me just who on here obviously feels that they know and understand women summa cum laude. It's always enlightening to hear the further adventures from life at the top of the food chain.

Edited October 17, 2016 by JLCrab

[F4UCorsair]

3 hours ago, JLCrab said:

 

Capacity has nothing to do withinwith. It's like with ta non academicnust: If someone asks 'Do you trust me?' I say that I'd rather not be in a position to HAVE to trust you. But it isn't surprising to me just who on here obviously feels that they know and understand women summa cum laude. It's always enlightening to hear the further adventures from life at the top of the food chain.

JLCrab, I generally like your posts, but why do you feel the need to quote Latin In a non academic discussion?  Most readers would be rushing off to a google search.

I hope your expression Isn't the next 'sans' (French, of course, not Latin), used In the most ridiculous of discussions.....for what purpose?  Perhaps to show the writer knows one woerd of French, or just likes cliches?

As you've probably realized, I hate cliches.

 

Unable to edit typos

[JLCrab]

That is a term along with magna cum laude commonly used in the USA to denote persons who graduate from university with high honors. I think the summa -- being one step above magna -- is appropriate for those who always seem to know more about any topic in which they post than anyone else who would care to post in the same topic. 

Edited October 17, 2016 by JLCrab

[F4UCorsair]

I understand what you're getting at (I do have an education), digging at villagefarang, but in Latin?   Few would know the meaning, and Latin has fallen into disuse.  This is 2016!!

 

My partner is a lawyer, in a judge role, and won't have lawyers representing clients use Latin in her courtroom.  Her view is that it's anachronistic and plain silly.  Her logic is that few know the meaning of what is being said, except the legal fraternity.

 

I liken using Latin, and most having to refer to google to understand what is going on, to an explanation of an artwork, its meaning in the view of some pretentious art critic.  If the viewer needs to have the meaning explained, the artwork has failed.

 

But.....if you choose to use Latin, that's your choice.

[JLCrab]

In USA it is a commonly used term. From the screenplay for Silence of the Lambs:

 

FBI Exec: I remember you from my seminar at UVA. You grilled me pretty hard, as I recall, on the Bureau's civil rights record in the Hoover years. I gave you an A.

Clarice Starling: A-minus, sir.

FBI Exec: Double major: psych and criminology. Graduated magna.

 

And from Wikipedia on Barack Obama:

He graduated with a J.D. magna cum laude from Harvard in 1991 and ...

 

But up to you.

 

 

Edited October 17, 2016 by JLCrab

[wow64]

The more educated a women the harder to romance. I would suggest you try an "Angry Dragon" she will be head over heels the fact that you have tried so hard to impress her. Marriage will not be far around the corner. 

 

Good of luck and let us know how it goes.

[khunpa]

A Thai-woman will expect and respect a real MAN, that can take care of the family and that values her role as a WOMAN. 

 

The biggest problem about most farangs, is that in the western world, men have become more and more like women... and the other way around. Everything has to be discussed and everything has to be 50/50. (Ideas, income, kids, taking care of the home etc.). You pull that stunt on a Traditional Thai-woman and you will only create confusion and in the end disrespect. 

 

In my view romancing, dating and living with a Thai-woman is much more difficult that with a faring-woman. Simply because of difference in culture, tradition, mind-set and gender-roles. And it takes a lot for both partners to fit in and learn to adjust to those differences.

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

Edited October 18, 2016 by khunpa

[F4UCorsair]

You lost me after a couple of paras khunpa......just too long winded.

[khunpa]

1 minute ago, F4UCorsair said:

You lost me after a couple of paras khunpa......just too long winded.

 

Agree... edited... ;-)

[GarryP]

 

On 10/14/2016 at 11:42 PM, Fabricus said:

 

That's a horrible post, but it's horrible because it's true.

 

I've done the same: moonlight swims followed by lingerie-clad adventures in the bedroom.

 

I've had two long term GFs over the last 17 years, and have spent serious cash on romantic underwear.

 

 

Maybe next time you should let the lady wear the lingerie.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎16‎.‎10‎.‎2016 at 3:20 AM, AYJAYDEE said:

neither does saying good morning at work

 

If that's an attempt to imply I didn't get to know the women I worked with you are way off course. I worked WITH women for 26 years, every working day. Nurses don't sit in a cubicle by themselves playing on a computer.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, khunpa said:

A Thai-woman will expect and respect a real MAN, that can take care of the family and that values her role as a WOMAN. 

 

The biggest problem about most farangs, is that in the western world, men have become more and more like women... and the other way around. Everything has to be discussed and everything has to be 50/50. (Ideas, income, kids, taking care of the home etc.). You pull that stunt on a Traditional Thai-woman and you will only create confusion and in the end disrespect. 

 

In my view romancing, dating and living with a Thai-woman is much more difficult that with a faring-woman. Simply because of difference in culture, tradition, mind-set and gender-roles. And it takes a lot for both partners to fit in and learn to adjust to those differences.

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

On ‎16‎.‎10‎.‎2016 at 7:56 AM, villagefarang said:

I consider the inability to understand women, and the unwillingness to try, a shortcoming and several posters have mentioned that as their go-to position on women.

 

I am not going to get into a pissing match over how many women we have bedded in life but I spent 20 years in Bangkok as a single guy with an extremely active social life before I settled down.  I know women, I like women and I generally prefer their company and conversation to that of men.

I know women, I like women and I generally prefer their company and conversation to that of men.

No dispute there, but that doesn't mean you have the key to understanding them.

 

I'd love to get into a deep discussion about it, but not going to happen for the obvious reason.

I'll just give one story.

I was working in an hospital, and one of the nurses was having an affair with a married man. Short version- I told her he was just wanting sex and not going to leave his wife for her, but she knew better, and proclaimed he was going to get divorced blah blah blah. Of course it ended badly for her.

She thought she knew men, but of course she didn't. Men that think they know women don't. End of story.