Ex Girlfriend Threatening To Take My Son

[DipStick]

48 minutes ago, sanemax said:

 

   Because its only advice and its up to the person involved whether to take that advice or not .

Seems the OP has gone very quiet, hopefully because he is on his way back to the uk with his son. However, whilst accepting your comments, if he ignores what a lot of said, we either have a problem or a troll.

[timendres]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

Although, once the OP is back in the UK, it may be better for the Son if he stays in contact with his mother by ways of video calls 

 

That is debatable, given the experiences I have had with women who are experts at poisoning the minds of their children.

 

As others have said, get back home. Take any legal action there that strengthens your position as the father. It is reasonable to allow contact with the mother, but definitely censored for his sake.

[sanemax]

6 minutes ago, DipStick said:

Seems the OP has gone very quiet, hopefully because he is on his way back to the uk with his son. However, whilst accepting your comments, if he ignores what a lot of said, we either have a problem or a troll.

 

   I cannot see here he has ignored or disagreed with peoples advice , he just seems to be seeking clarification .

The thread was only started less than 24 hours ago, so he is probably thinking about the best thing to do, 

[sanemax]

4 minutes ago, timendres said:

 

That is debatable, given the experiences I have had with women who are experts at poisoning the minds of their children.

 

As others have said, get back home. Take any legal action there that strengthens your position as the father. It is reasonable to allow contact with the mother, but definitely censored for his sake.

 

   Yes, that is a possibility, seeing his mother may also upset the child, it may be best to break all contact and have no video calls or anything if it makes the situation worse .

   I was thinking of staying Friends and all living happily ever after , buy yeah, it could well not end up like that

[ncc1701d]

Keep detailed records of absolutely everything. Write it all down what you have tried to do and when you tried to do it.

 

Cut all communicarion with with her immediately.

 

Get real legal advise.

[Puyai]

Sorry I have been checking my post regularly, last time this morning and they were 10 replies. Just checked now and there's over 30! I am certainly not ignoring all the helpful advice.

I have changed my flight and I'm off back home, as there is no other reason for me to be here.

I will not be coming back here with my son ever. If she wants to see him she will have to travel to the U.K. The boyfriend is real, I've had a conversation with him believe it or not. I will let her keep in contact via skype as all that has happened is not my sons fault. He quite often asked to speak to his mum. He's only 4 and I can't deny him contact with her no matter how much I detest the woman.

Thanks again for the replies.


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[madusa]

On 21/10/2016 at 11:16 AM, blackcab said:

Firstly, let me absolutely assure you it doesn't matter who her new boyfriend knows at the British Embassy. It just doesn't work like that. Seriously, the people with power to do things are career diplomats with the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. They will absolutely not take any rash, unauthorised or unsanctioned action. You have nothing to worry about there. Really believe me.

 

Secondly, what would the British Embassy or anyone else do? You are talking about a British citizen travelling with his father. The child is not a dual national. Furthermore, without the child's birth certificate on hand the mother can't even prove she is his mother.

 

You are in Thailand, so at the minute Thai law counts. The child is not Thai, so there is very little incentive for anyone in Thailand to get involved. Why would Thai immigration want to separate a British child from his British father anyway? If they did, that is when the British Embassy would get involved.

 

The only possible reason would be if your son was the subject of an Interpol yellow notice, which are issued for missing persons, especially for abducted children.

 

Let me put your mind at ease with that. For starters your child is not Lao, so it would be an uphill struggle for her to get Laos Interpol to take any action. On which note, to put everything into perspective, there are currently over 8,000 yellow notices worldwide. Out of that total, Laos has exactly zero children listed. So it's not looking especially good for her on that front either.

 

However, when all is said and done, I would go back to the UK and I would not bring your son back to SE Asia at all.

Blackcab, I guess you have the best answers to this gentleman questions. By the way Puyai have you gone for DNA testing for the kid ? Sure it's your kid?

[Puyai]

Yes it's my kid 100%.


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[sanemax]

1 hour ago, madusa said:

. By the way Puyai have you gone for DNA testing for the kid ? Sure it's your kid?

 

   Thats  not very nice thing to ask , generally, people tend not to ask questions like that and its quite rude and just not done

[sanemax]

2 hours ago, Puyai said:

Sorry I have been checking my post regularly, last time this morning and they were 10 replies. Just checked now and there's over 30! I am certainly not ignoring all the helpful advice.

I have changed my flight and I'm off back home, as there is no other reason for me to be here.

I will not be coming back here with my son ever. If she wants to see him she will have to travel to the U.K. The boyfriend is real, I've had a conversation with him believe it or not. I will let her keep in contact via skype as all that has happened is not my sons fault. He quite often asked to speak to his mum. He's only 4 and I can't deny him contact with her no matter how much I detest the woman.

Thanks again for the replies.


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    Do not tell her that you are going back to the UK, She will most likely to come and get your Son

Do not meet with her before you go , She will get him from you and you may never see him again .

  Do not tell her where you are staying . Just make an excuse for not meeting with her, get on the plane and get home

    

[Puyai]

 
    Do not tell her that you are going back to the UK, She will most likely to come and get your Son
Do not meet with her before you go , She will get him from you and you may never see him again .
  Do not tell her where you are staying . Just make an excuse for not meeting with her, get on the plane and get home
    

All the above already done thanks..


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[Puyai]

 
   Thats  not very nice thing to ask , generally, people tend not to ask questions like that and its quite rude and just not done

I took no offense, but had a little chuckle to myself!


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[gk10002000]

On 10/21/2016 at 5:15 AM, Puyai said:

We are not married.

No papers processed.

Child was born in Thailand.

The mother has done nothing.

My son is not a Lao citizen.

Thanks for your reply.


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The child may not be a Lao citizen right now, but if her mother is Lao I am pretty sure the Mother could file the papers in Laos that could make the child a Lao citizen.  I believe that is her right since she herself is Lao.  Having said that, so what?  Get back to the UK and go from there.  She doesn't have the resources to do much else.  If she does try some legal action, well, so be it.  Nothing you can do about that but wait and see. 

[Puyai]

The child may not be a Lao citizen right now, but if her mother is Lao I am pretty sure the Mother could file the papers in Laos that could make the child a Lao citizen.  I believe that is her right since she herself is Lao.  Having said that, so what?  Get back to the UK and go from there.  She doesn't have the resources to do much else.  If she does try some legal action, well, so be it.  Nothing you can do about that but wait and see. 

We are not married, so that would be very difficult for her to do. Sexual relationships outside of wedlock with a foreigner is illegal in Laos. Laos also not recognize dual nationality.

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[gemguy]

On Saturday, October 22, 2016 at 11:00 AM, realenglish1 said:

Take the advise in the short term you have nothing to worry about but having said that get on a plain with your British son and after you get to Britain tell you girlfriend to take a hick If she wants to see him she will have to come to Britain on her own for a visit with her own money

NO ..no.......she can come to Britain using the supposed new boy friends money  ...who supposedly has loads of money... supposedly...lol

Cheers

[Puyai]

NO ..no.......she can come to Britain using the supposed new boy friends money  ...who supposedly has loads of money... supposedly...lol
Cheers

Exactly mate!!!


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[Wazza1]

All she needs to do is get a custody order from the Laos courts, she can then use the UN Convention of the Rights of Children involved and the British Family Coirt will arrange for the child to be returned to the legal Carer, the mother. This is why many middle eastern men who have children by western women take the kids back to middle eastern countries where the courts always Award custody to fathers, western courts Award custody to mothers unless the mother is a current drug using serial killer.

my advice, get a custody order from the British courts asap because if she gets legal custody in Laos the British Family Court will take the child or order you to return it to its mother regardless of what country she is in. 

 

Im not 100% but I think if this happens and you don't return the child you could be charged with kidnapping.

 

Edited October 24, 2016 by Wazza1

[realenglish1]

23 hours ago, gemguy said:

NO ..no.......she can come to Britain using the supposed new boy friends money  ...who supposedly has loads of money... supposedly...lol

Cheers

Once you are under the UK court System you have a better chance of protecting your child

She has no proof it is her child and will be hard pressed to come to the UK in any event

What court would you rather be under its jurisdiction Thai  Laos or UK court if it requires courts

[mercman24]

just wondering why you are still here, when the purpose of your visit was to let the child see his mother, how many more times do you have to be told,, LEAVE

[MikeyIdea]

First, let me say that I think you have done admirably giving the mother the opportunity to see her son and I think you should continue to do it.

 

On ‎10‎/‎21‎/‎2016 at 7:15 PM, Puyai said:

We are not married.

No papers processed.

Child was born in Thailand.

The mother has done nothing.

My son is not a Lao citizen.

Thanks for your reply.

 

You are safe in Thailand as long as you have a birth certificate translated to Thai that clearly shows the mother as Laos, the child and the father as British. If you have a British birth certificate, then get it translated to Thai and then certified at the Consular Affairs department on Cheang Wattana Rd. You are safe to continue to travel to Thailand with your son if you have that

 

Laos has not signed the Hague convention about international child abduction so the mother cannot get the child returned the UK to Laos, correct, but she can of course still use her right to access to the child inside the UK. You and your son are British and I don't know the law in your country but you should know that most countries in the world do not accept the fathers name on the birth certificate as evidence and that gives the mother sole custody in the home country of the father too.  Regardless, get sole custody in the UK

 

[MikeyIdea]

First, let me say that I think you have done admirably giving the mother the opportunity to see her son and I think you as a good father should continue to do it.

 

On ‎10‎/‎21‎/‎2016 at 7:15 PM, Puyai said:

We are not married.

No papers processed.

Child was born in Thailand.

The mother has done nothing.

My son is not a Lao citizen.

Thanks for your reply.

 

You are safe in Thailand as long as you have a birth certificate translated to Thai that clearly shows the mother as Laos, and the child and father as British. 

 

If you have a British birth certificate, then get it translated to Thai and then certified at the Consular Affairs department on Cheang Wattana Rd.

 

Laos has not signed the Hague convention about international child abduction so the mother cannot get the child returned from the UK to Laos, correct, but she can of course still use her right to access to the child inside the UK. You and your son are British and I don't know the law in your country but you should know that most countries in the world do not accept the fathers name on the birth certificate as evidence and that gives the mother sole custody in the home country of the father too.  Regardless, get sole custody in the UK

 

Edited October 25, 2016 by MikeyIdea

[Wazza1]

On 25/10/2016 at 0:23 PM, MikeyIdea said:

 

 

Laos has not signed the Hague convention about international child abduction so the mother cannot get the child returned the UK to Laos, correct, but she can of course still use her right to access to the child inside the UK. You and your son are British and I don't know the law in your country but you should know that most countries in the world do not accept the fathers name on the birth certificate as evidence and that gives the mother sole custody in the home country of the father too.  Regardless, get sole custody in the UK

 

Yoir first sentence there would only be relevant if he were fleeing to Laos with the child, however he is returning to England and they have signed the convention and signatories don't care what country the application is coming from. while she may have trouble making an application in England because of her financial position you may find the Courts sympathetic to her position and provide free legal aid and of course then he would have to contend with a judge who may not approve of a man using a woman's financial position to deny residency of the child.

Edited October 26, 2016 by Wazza1

[Wazza1]

On 24/10/2016 at 2:48 PM, realenglish1 said:

Once you are under the UK court System you have a better chance of protecting your child

She has no proof it is her child and will be hard pressed to come to the UK in any event

What court would you rather be under its jurisdiction Thai  Laos or UK court if it requires courts

 

Thats a funny one, "she has no proof it is her child", now all the father would need to do is produce the mother or it will appear he has stolen a Asian baby. His big problem could be getting out of Thailand, all the mother has to do is file a kidnap complaint against the father with the police in Thailand and he won't get past immigration. Personally that's what I would be telling her to do.

[realenglish1]

Just now, Wazza1 said:

 

Thats a funny one, "she has no proof it is her child", now all the father would need to do is produce the mother or it will appear he has stolen a Asian baby. His big problem could be getting out of Thailand, all the mother has to do is file a kidnap complaint against the father with the police in Thailand and he won't get past immigration. Personally that's what I would be telling her to do.

How on earth can she file a kidnap charge without a birth certificate and even if she does she is in another country and he has proof its his child She does not

[JHolmesJr]

People who threaten rarely do.

 

Just ignore her….dont let her know your whereabouts….especially on future visits.

 

Find your kid another mother.

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, Wazza1 said:

 

Thats a funny one, "she has no proof it is her child", now all the father would need to do is produce the mother or it will appear he has stolen a Asian baby. His big problem could be getting out of Thailand, all the mother has to do is file a kidnap complaint against the father with the police in Thailand and he won't get past immigration. Personally that's what I would be telling her to do.

 

    The Child is a British citizen . He isnt a Thai citizen and he doesnt seem to be a Lao citizen either

He arrived on a UK PP and can leave on a UK PP .

   Even if she made a complaint to Thai police and alleged kidnapping, I dont think that its an offence for a parent to kidnap their own child and the police wouldnt get involved anyway 

   She could make a legal complaint in Laos. although that would open herself to being prospected for having a child with a foreigner out of wedlock 

[MikeyIdea]

2 hours ago, Wazza1 said:

...she may have trouble making an application in England because of her financial position...

I want to move down the quote but I can't, it should be by Regarding cost

 

I'll tell you about a Thai case, should be 8-10 years ago or so now. A British father decided that he wanted to take his half Thai child to the UK without the mother and without her permission. The child was a British citizen with a British passport

 

The mother immediately sued for sole custody in Thailand, got it and sued in the UK. UK courts of course followed the Thai court order and ordered sole custody to the mother in the UK too and the child was back in Thailand in record time. Everything as expected and so far so good.

Now, who can do this?

If a poor woman walks in to a police station in Thailand with a birth certificate and says that her child has been abducted, then the police will be happy to write a missing persons report and tell her how to get to Juvenile court. Unless she looks like and behaves like a prostitute... Or has no birth certificate and no evidence that it is her child. The same thing will happen at Juvenile court. They will help her to write the paperwork and she'll be in court within 3 months (7 days if emergency hearing is granted). I even know of one case where the court officers at central juvenile court wrote the paperwork for free for a British man

 

There is plenty of free advise and help both in Thailand and in the UK. I often went to the district attorney's building by the central Juvenile Court in Bangkok in the past, they have an area on the second floor where they offer free legal advice. Always helpful and friendly.

 

What about England? A poor Thai mother with sole custody of an abducted child currently in England can get all the help she needs, just start with Care. It's all up to initiative 

 

Back to the Brit: The Thai mother easily got sole custody in the UK based on the Thai court order. That British father posted in Scott's custody thread 4 years ago moaning about that he had gone all the way to the Supreme Court of Thailand to get access to his child and the mother still refused and not even the Supreme court did anything to help him  He abducts a child and then moans over that he is not trusted... It's been another 4 years since he wrote that and he probably still doesn't have access

 

Regarding cost: 

A poor Thai woman can get sole custody in Thailand for no more than the bus tickets if she has initiative or has a smart friend. She can get help to get sole custody in England, it does not have to cost a lot at all

 

There is a lot of ill-informed comments with "common knowledge" from people who don't know much about how the law works (British, Thai, international)..., don't know how easy it actually is to use a court order from another country (read Thai) with the right content to get sole custody of a child in the UK 

 

The OP has been a good father, he has tried to give the mother access. Most mothers and fathers who don't even try this are of course bad parents (there are a few valid exceptions, abuse, addiction - + - ).

 

Good Daddy OP, don't change anything  Just one more thing: Take this to court in the UK, present evidence that you try to let the mother see her child, what she is threatening to do and get a court order. That will stop the mother if she ever tries the legal way in the future

 

Mikey

 

 

[DipStick]

12 minutes ago, MikeyIdea said:

I want to move down the quote but I can't, it should be by Regarding cost

 

I'll tell you about a Thai case, should be 8-10 years ago or so now. A British father decided that he wanted to take his half Thai child to the UK without the mother and without her permission. The child was a British citizen with a British passport

 

The mother immediately sued for sole custody in Thailand, got it and sued in the UK. UK courts of course followed the Thai court order and ordered sole custody to the mother in the UK too and the child was back in Thailand in record time. Everything as expected and so far so good.

Now, who can do this?

If a poor woman walks in to a police station in Thailand with a birth certificate and says that her child has been abducted, then the police will be happy to write a missing persons report and tell her how to get to Juvenile court. Unless she looks like and behaves like a prostitute... Or has no birth certificate and no evidence that it is her child. The same thing will happen at Juvenile court. They will help her to write the paperwork and she'll be in court within 3 months (7 days if emergency hearing is granted). I even know of one case where the court officers at central juvenile court wrote the paperwork for free for a British man

 

There is plenty of free advise and help both in Thailand and in the UK. I often went to the district attorney's building by the central Juvenile Court in Bangkok in the past, they have an area on the second floor where they offer free legal advice. Always helpful and friendly.

 

What about England? A poor Thai mother with sole custody of an abducted child currently in England can get all the help she needs, just start with Care. It's all up to initiative 

 

Back to the Brit: The Thai mother easily got sole custody in the UK based on the Thai court order. That British father posted in Scott's custody thread 4 years ago moaning about that he had gone all the way to the Supreme Court of Thailand to get access to his child and the mother still refused and not even the Supreme court did anything to help him  He abducts a child and then moans over that he is not trusted... It's been another 4 years since he wrote that and he probably still doesn't have access

 

Regarding cost: 

A poor Thai woman can get sole custody in Thailand for no more than the bus tickets if she has initiative or has a smart friend. She can get help to get sole custody in England, it does not have to cost a lot at all

 

There is a lot of ill-informed comments with "common knowledge" from people who don't know much about how the law works (British, Thai, international)..., don't know how easy it actually is to use a court order from another country (read Thai) with the right content to get sole custody of a child in the UK 

 

The OP has been a good father, he has tried to give the mother access. Most mothers and fathers who don't even try this are of course bad parents (there are a few valid exceptions, abuse, addiction - + - ).

 

Good Daddy OP, don't change anything  Just one more thing: Take this to court in the UK, present evidence that you try to let the mother see her child, what she is threatening to do and get a court order. That will stop the mother if she ever tries the legal way in the future

 

Mikey

 

Very interesting post, however you seem to be overlooking a number of important facts (1) the mother is from Laos not Thailand. (2) the mother is a single mother (3) the mother does not have the child's birth certificate from the Thai birth. (4) the father appears to be the sole provider for the child including getting him a legal British passport, U.K. Schooling  , registering his child with the British authorities and giving his British son a roof over his head and food in his belly (5) it's not known, but is it possible the Laotion woman- the mother was in Thailand illegally and if so has no recourse to the Thai system. (6) why is the mother blatantly promoting a foreign boyfriend in Laos, who professes to have influence over the British embassy in Bangkok (7) why did the mother accept expenses and an air ticket given to her by the father of their son to visit the son in Thailand and then not travel. 

Can you see any court of law anywhere in the world have sympathy for this woman, because I would be hard pushed to suggest one.... However, this is the perfect scenario to suggest that if you have sex in Asia put something over the end of it.

[MikeyIdea]

18 minutes ago, DipStick said:

Can you see any court of law anywhere in the world have sympathy for this woman, because I would be hard pushed to suggest one.... However, this is the perfect scenario to suggest that if you have sex in Asia put something over the end of it.

 

If you don't have evidence then it never happened

 

Knowing the truth, no. In court and a smart manipulating mother against a western father ignorant about the law, absolutely yes. As I said, it is easier than most people think for an Asian mother to get sole custody in a British or other North-European court

 

[MikeyIdea]

3 hours ago, DipStick said:

Very interesting post, however you seem to be overlooking a number of important facts

 

First of all, I think that the father is very safe in this case, so safe that he can be in Thailand with his son even. He has done all the right things

 

I didn't miss that the mother is Laos. I do write things like - as long as the father has evidence that the mother is Laos, and "Or has no birth certificate and no evidence that it is her child".

The mother is a single mother doesn't matter in court

 

3 hours ago, DipStick said:

the father appears to be the sole provider for the child including getting him a legal British passport, U.K. Schooling  , registering his child with the British authorities and giving his British son a roof over his head and food in his belly

 

Yes and all that matters but only... if a father can prove that he has not abducted the child. Everything you write above is useless in a UK court if it can be proven that a father abducted the child to be able to do it. I don't want to use "the father" because it is not the case here

 

3 hours ago, DipStick said:

it's not known, but is it possible the Laotion woman- the mother was in Thailand illegally and if so has no recourse to the Thai system

 

Thai Juvenile court does not care one bit if she was in the country illegally those 6 years, they take a decision in the best interest of the child for the future (except child abduction of course). The mother is Laos so she isn't going to a Thai Juvenile court. Well, she can but she should get sole custody in a Laos court first and then go to Thai court. If the child after that is apprehended in Thailand, then a Thai court would most likely let the first court and the evidence provided there decide. That's why I suggest that the father takes this to court in England, Thai Juvenile would most likely follow that and order the child to the father

 

3 hours ago, DipStick said:

why is the mother blatantly promoting a foreign boyfriend in Laos, who professes to have influence over the British embassy in Bangkok (7) why did the mother accept expenses and an air ticket given to her by the father of their son to visit the son in Thailand and then not travel. 

 

Because she's a bad mother!  I am not writing this arguing that the mother is good at all

 

I am writing it to explain the law so that foreigners who think - "I have shared custody in my home country so if I get the child there, then I am safe" - don't do something as stupid as the Brit I told you about did

 

Everything I wrote in post 57 is the truth

 

Mikey

Edited October 26, 2016 by MikeyIdea