Farang+ Thai partner choices.

[nuakmuaynina]

51 minutes ago, JAFO said:

Well again it's my opinion and I again say it's about the company one keeps especially Internet dating along with being extremely sexually active. Same for the partner if they appear to be that way then I agree it would be best to ask if you want to play in that arena. I respect the folks that want to go that route and if it's a big concern then you should proceed to question your partner. I doubt I could ever do it. Seems so mechanical.  " Hi  I really like you and would like to see you more however, can I see your most recent STD and HIV test results please" .LOL.  What do you do if she says  " I don't have one" Make her go and wait for the results?

 

All I can say is I am glad I am not dating anymore if this is what it is coming too. Next up is blood tox screens for cholestrol and glucose levels coupled with a drug test.  " Hi  would you mind peeing in this cup for me, I want to submit for a screen. I hope your not offended but I want to be absolutely sure you are OK"  

 

Good Luck Elkski with your search.  

 

 

well, what if you meet a nice girl  from a good family ( whatever those  things are supposed to mean) who has only had one sex partner, but unbeknown to her, her previous partner had been with every slut in the village? It happens.

 

And no actually, my conversation went along the lines of,  I really hate condoms, shall we get tested so we can stop using them?  It was very casual, I'd be more worried if someone did not want to have that conversation with me.  

 

 

 

[JAFO]

17 minutes ago, nuakmuaynina said:

 

 

well, what if you meet a nice girl  from a good family ( whatever those  things are supposed to mean) who has only had one sex partner, but unbeknown to her, her previous partner had been with every slut in the village? It happens.

 

And no actually, my conversation went along the lines of,  I really hate condoms, shall we get tested so we can stop using them?  It was very casual, I'd be more worried if someone did not want to have that conversation with me.  

 

 

 

 

Well I am glad that worked for you and  your partner.

 

I also  agree with your point that  no one knows.

 

Again not judging ones methods or reasons  just clearly an approach I wouldn't take.  

 

 

[rogeroc]

3 hours ago, Elkski said:

Thanks for saying exactly what needed to be said.   

It's 2016.  HIV tests are close to free and results in 15 mins.  Who is smart or stupid is irrelevant when it comes to STI's. How often are condoms and to be fair, dental dams used during foreplay? In a country where using a sex worker is very common it seems more important to my mind.   I do wish I could be the ostrich. Unfortunately I am very educated in this area.   If you understand the latency periods and do some simple math it doesn't take many partners on either side to go exponential!    There is no argument.  It is the right talk to have with a future partner.  This thinking would stop the sex trade. 

I should add that I hear all to often on the Thai dating sites that the woman will only date farang because her Thai husband cheated on her.  So a woman with only one partner can be at risk.   And HIV and many can be transmitted in non sexual activity. 

 

Sure HIV is more likely to be passed by needles. Read in detail about the risks of HIV / Std before you get too 'hung up' on it. Loads of sex workers in Thailand will have been in the trade on and off for 20 years plus and they are still looking pretty fit 

[rogeroc]

3 hours ago, JAFO said:

Well again it's my opinion and I again say it's about the company one keeps especially Internet dating along with being extremely sexually active. Same for the partner if they appear to be that way then I agree it would be best to ask if you want to play in that arena. I respect the folks that want to go that route and if it's a big concern then you should proceed to question your partner. I doubt I could ever do it. Seems so mechanical.  " Hi  I really like you and would like to see you more however, can I see your most recent STD and HIV test results please" .LOL.  What do you do if she says  " I don't have one" Make her go and wait for the results?

 

All I can say is I am glad I am not dating anymore if this is what it is coming too. Next up is blood tox screens for cholestrol and glucose levels coupled with a drug test.  " Hi  would you mind peeing in this cup for me, I want to submit for a screen. I hope your not offended but I want to be absolutely sure you are OK"  

 

Good Luck Elkski with your search.  

 

Yep do all that and then rent a scooter wihout a 'risk care' in the world.

[Elkski]

I cant imagine anyone ever believed they would get an STI and thought it was worth it.  

I have heard the argument that you are going to die someday.  and that you may get in a car (scooter) crash today.. 

Many don't know that HSV can be transmitted orally. and 50% of the genital cases are actually HSV 1 which was traditionally oral.   80% of Adults have HSV 1 (cold sore type)  most got before 10 by sharing drinks or aunts kissing them as a baby.  20- 25% have  HSV 2.  Some never show symptoms but can unknowingly share. There are drugs that can minimize the often severe painful episodes and also cut the transmission rate.  So education and testing just gives you  more options.  Make your own choices.  IF sex workers get tested at all its mostly for HIV and a few other things that the health department cares about ... HSV never killed anyone or made a women infertile so it gets near zero attention....  some people have been tested negative for everything. Can you blame them for wanting to find a similar partner so nature can be enjoyed in all its glory?. 

 

Let me add that I read somewhere that your best bet in life was to get HSV 1 in the oral area by an aunt at age 5. Then you would be like 80% of the population. Then  its less of a worry because natural human anitbodies for HSV 1 will most times fight off HSV 2...and you usually only get either HSV in only one location. Sorry if this info will bother your next happy ending.

Edited November 11, 2016 by Elkski

[A1Str8]

Don't bother with the nay sayers and other strange characters. 

I agree that you are over analyzing this while life is passing you by. 

 

Bruce Lee said..don't think, feel. Or you will miss all that heavenly glory. 

 

Stop trying to figure it out. Life doesn't work that way.

Just go out and make it happen. Meet people. Have fun. Live. And you are bound to meet ladies. 

 

[JAFO]

3 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

Don't bother with the nay sayers and other strange characters. 

I agree that you are over analyzing this while life is passing you by. 

 

Bruce Lee said..don't think, feel. Or you will miss all that heavenly glory. 

 

Stop trying to figure it out. Life doesn't work that way.

Just go out and make it happen. Meet people. Have fun. Live. And you are bound to meet ladies. 

 

 

You are right . I think a great majority of the posters keep telling Elkski the same message,  just go live it.  There is nothing wrong with being cautious or guarded but it's just dating.  The gal is another human being not a science project. 

 

His last post on STDs etc was actually quite funny.  Who sits around for hours and reads and quotes this stuff to add it to a list of requirements when dating someone? It appears by the time he has this all figured out it will all be to late for him.  The Engineering term "Analysis Paralysis" comes to mind LOL.  

 

I guess if all of this analysis is required to date a woman here it might be best to stay in the comfort zone in the US.  Genuinely I believe the OP is good guy but seems over the top to simply date a woman.  

 

 

[rogeroc]

OP overly concerned about STD's. Look at all the poor people who suffer from Diabetes type 2 from 40 upward.

[FruitPudding]

On Thursday, November 03, 2016 at 5:58 AM, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I have one simple tip for anyone. After a bit of chatting ask for her Facebook account and check the pictures from her workplace. In Thailand, that will tell you more about the person than pictures with friends, family, etc...

 

But Thais dont post pics of their real life on FB anyway.  It always has to be glamourized. 

 

A selfy a day and a Starbucks cup once in a while aint gonna tell you shit.

 

It may give you valuable insight into her vanity and lack of personality though.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

 
But Thais dont post pics of their real life on FB anyway.  It always has to be glamourized. 
 
A selfy a day and a Starbucks cup once in a while aint gonna tell you shit.
 
It may give you valuable insight into her vanity and lack of personality though.

But some do post their ordinary boring life on fb....hence my post which for some reason doesn't make sense to you.

[Wilted Flower of Scotland]

I think the OP's biggest fear should be if any Thai girl will be wiling to put up with his extreme OCD issues?

[Elkski]

lol... I am guilty.... but I guess I am not just looking to date but to find a woman for the next 35 years or so. 

I actually didn't quote all that STD info I typed that in from memory...  I have researched and learned much about many dating subjects the past 3 years.   Just think 23 years ago only Doctors and top  business men had cell phones and they were like a brick. Now we have line apps we can use anywhere and everyone has a cell phone... Dating sites let us shake out the chaff really fast and get to the goodies that we think matter. 

I am doing just fine... but does it hurt to ask on how to improve? Maybe I am at the forefront of this technology and its use in dating?  

Thanks for all your help guys.. I really have met a few really top shelf women online and a couple in person.. I only have 6 weeks on the ground experience in Thailand so I was asking mainly what is a top shelf woman. But of course this all depends on what your looking for... So I was trying to express that I am not interested in under 40 and hope she had a nice respectable career. kids older or none so we can spend much time together in retirement.

And yes STI's are a consideration for me... Yes I spend to much time on this... But what other thing is so important in life or can bring a man so much enjoyment or grief?  Analysis paralysis!  funny but probably true..

[JAFO]

You're an alright guy Elkski.  You just need to stop analyzing this stuff and go. In the end she is not an object she is a human being and as we all know the gal you meet today will not be the same gal in 3 years  5 years  10 years and so on from now.  My wife has changed significantly in just our 5 years of being together as have I. Meeting a woman internet chatting/emailing and video calling is not even close to the woman you will meet in real life. Everybody says the "right stuff" in that environment. Hit the ground with her and her body english, her habits, long held info from the closet comes out and you meet their friends and so on. I mean what if you like her and cannot stand all her friends or family.  Tough call after all that "heavenly fuzzy warm" stuff you shared in text and a 15" monitor from 8,500 miles away LOL.. (btw what makes them "Top Shelf" as you commented").

 

Meeting my wife while here, seeing her on and off in real world was critical. Meeting her friends and family was imperative. This is why I think Internet dating is really sad.  It's all fake for the most part and extremely superficial.  I laughed when my friend here showed me some he was talking with.  The profile criteria was laughable. Basically wanted a foreigner man breathing from 18 to 99 years old and not much else. LOL. 

 

I still stand, close up shop . Come here with YOUR plan.  Live it for YOU not some woman you screened on a Thai dating site.  Live where you want, not where she is from. The woman you seek to share the next 35 years with you will happen and it will likely work out just fine and you don't need an excel spreadsheet to know  LOL!

 

 

[rogeroc]

And one of those 'over the Years significant changes' could be wanting a baby?

 

[Elkski]

No baby's in my future but I have to respect a woman's desire.  No reversal or teens when I am 70 that I know for sure.  I have had my feet on the gourd in Thailand and my initial curiosity of Thai culture and Women has increased to a genuine interest. If I was seeking employment in Thailand I would want to learn as much as possible and do these same types of comparisons  as I am sure most people would. Salary, working hours, friendly company, advancement potential, benefits, retirement package, status, location, etc,

Whats wrong with a guy wanting to find out what sort of job opportunities are available and what other people think is the perfect job and then comparing what your offer is to that?

I guess this original question reveals just how different we are all on this planet which is good or we would be fighting over a single woman. 

[rasg]

Picking a job or a life partner are two very different things.

 

I tried the dating website stuff a few years ago and had some fun but you can't beat meeting somebody in the old fashioned way when sparks fly.

 

That would be my way of meeting somebody. Approaching it with a spreadsheet is not my thing.

[rogeroc]

Meeting someone the 'old fashioned way sounds a bit romatic and Hollywood. A very significant percent of marriages in the world are still 'arranged' and divorce rates are generally (possibly i accept for the wrong reasons)  low.  Hollywood, (boy meets girl, falls in love) style marriages in the Western world have a 50% failure rate. I think the OP is correct in having certain specific requirements of the woman he would like to meet.

[Elkski]

I actually think I have talked  more extensively with some women about more topics before we met than many married couples  have after 20 years of marriage.    I have read the Thai people have a different definition of what constitutes a lie.   I will be careful.  Trust but verify but I think I am a good judge of character.    I will be careful.  I will try to be respectful and I am 100% honest.  

[dansbkk]

On 11/11/2016 at 11:57 PM, rogeroc said:

 

Sure HIV is more likely to be passed by needles. Read in detail about the risks of HIV / Std before you get too 'hung up' on it. Loads of sex workers in Thailand will have been in the trade on and off for 20 years plus and they are still looking pretty fit 

 

How much do you get paid for using your x -ray vision to medically diagnose diseases?  You really can't tell by looking at someone where they have been, who they have been with, and what they are going to pass along as a little parting gift.

[rogeroc]

4 hours ago, Elkski said:

I actually think I have talked  more extensively with some women about more topics before we met than many married couples  have after 20 years of marriage.    I have read the Thai people have a different definition of what constitutes a lie.   I will be careful.  Trust but verify but I think I am a good judge of character.    I will be careful.  I will try to be respectful and I am 100% honest.  

 

I think their 'white lies' are bigger.