Disrespect me or not ?

[pigeonjake]

you say she or they are disrispecting you,,

more like doing it yourself!

[GOLDBUGGY]

13 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

 

Respect also goes both ways. We don't know the full story. Maybe this girl has tried pursuing something a little more serious but the guy is continuously just leading her on to get his rocks off, so out of desperation she is trying a new tactic to get his attention. Seems likely, as if this is the type of woman she is, then why does he keep going back to the situation if he sees it as so disrespectful? Again, he hasn't showed her any sort of respect it seems, so there is absolutely no onus on her to show him respect. You cant have your cake and eat it too. If you are both not tied together, and both happy to have fun, and refuse to be together then you cant expect her to put her life on hold for you. It's not even a matter of respect actually, it's a matter of living.  

I don't understand your comment about taking advantage? Isn't that exactly what is going on with the OP. She did something, he got a bit annoyed, he couldn't express his feelings directly to her so he has come to talk to 'the boys' on a forum? Like, come on, we are all adults aren't we? I am sure if we have insignificant troubles like this with someone we say is 'just a bit of fun', then surely he can discuss that with her face to face cant he? I dont know why you directed the comment at me when the OP and, in theory your support of him, are the people who are letting the women walk all over them lol.

 

As for the going out part...I don't recall i have had that happen to me. And you're exactly right, if it did happen you do one of two things....you say what is going on directly to her? Or you leave. Does the guy ask her what she wants for dinner through this forum too? lol. If the communication is that bad no wonder she is talking to other people. 

I totally agree respect goes both ways here. But I am wondering what you read in the Ops Post that I didn't, as I didn't see how he was disrespectful of her.  Would you care to explain?

 

I gather the Op came here and brought this subject up as he doesn't have much experience with Thai Girls and wanted to know if this is normal behavior from them. I have a lot of experience with Thai Girls and I told him this isn't normal behavior. If you to have a lot of experience with Thai Girls, and you let them treat you this way, then by all means mention that here, as I would wonder why.

 

If this Girl Friend is playing some mind game and trying to pursue something more serious, then she is behaving in a manner which is the exact opposite to that, so I don't buy your story. I do agree they are both mature adults and should be able to talk about this openly. but then he may have wanted some advice first before he does that. Plenty of people post here with insignificant troubles. We are not Professional Marriage Counselors  but rather a Discussion Board. 

 

I don't know how you assessed what type of women she is? All I know from the Ops Post was that the taxi driver thought she was a Bar Girl, and why he talked to her that way. I wonder if this was because she acted like one to him? But then, and as I said, I have been with plenty of Bar Girls in the past and they never acted this way with me. The last time a Taxi Driver tried this with a Beautiful Bar Girl I was with she told him to "F.....take a hike!.  

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 16/12/2559 at 8:48 AM, wildewillie89 said:

 

I think there is a bit of a difference if she isn't a bar girl though. A bar girl at the end of the day is relying on the customer as that is her income. It is purely a business deal (even though most on here seem to think the girls actually want them). This guy said that she wasn't a bar girl and have known each other for a while with a less than serious relationship it seems. She is aware that she is a 'holiday gf'. She just seems to use that to her advantage, maybe some free travel so she can post on her Facebook to all her friends to see (who knows). Why should she have to show any more respect than a bar girl/customer type situation? They apparently knew each other for a while, he says they do their own things in terms of sleeping around. He cant have it both ways. He cant be a control freak when with her but <deleted> around on her at the same time lol. It is a simple solution, either make the relationship serious or find someone else who fits his needs a little better. 

There is Ethics in Business Deals also. Ever pick up a Bar Girl and take her to a bar, then try to drop her for another Bar Girl? Especially if it is in her bar. Man! If you want to see a Cat Fight then this is the way to do it.

 

I am not knocking this Thai Girl for being a Holiday Girl Friend and as you said maybe getting a few free trips out of it. I am also not knocking her if she has several sexual partners on the side. You would have to be more than naive to think that when you say good bye to you Bar Girlfriend for that month, that she is going to remain faithful to you until you return even next month.

 

What I am knocking is her behavior while she is with him. Call it a code on honor or ethics if you like. To flirt with somebody else while she is sitting next to him and obviously his Girlfriend. Or talking in a language and laughing behind his back when that conversation is about him or her (as she said), and he does not understand. It is just plain disrespectful to do this and this is what I am knocking.     

[wildewillie89]

23 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

I totally agree respect goes both ways here. But I am wondering what you read in the Ops Post that I didn't, as I didn't see how he was disrespectful of her.  Would you care to explain?

 

I gather the Op came here and brought this subject up as he doesn't have much experience with Thai Girls and wanted to know if this is normal behavior from them. I have a lot of experience with Thai Girls and I told him this isn't normal behavior. If you to have a lot of experience with Thai Girls, and you let them treat you this way, then by all means mention that here, as I would wonder why.

 

If this Girl Friend is playing some mind game and trying to pursue something more serious, then she is behaving in a manner which is the exact opposite to that, so I don't buy your story. I do agree they are both mature adults and should be able to talk about this openly. but then he may have wanted some advice first before he does that. Plenty of people post here with insignificant troubles. We are not Professional Marriage Counselors  but rather a Discussion Board. 

 

I don't know how you assessed what type of women she is? All I know from the Ops Post was that the taxi driver thought she was a Bar Girl, and why he talked to her that way. I wonder if this was because she acted like one to him? But then, and as I said, I have been with plenty of Bar Girls in the past and they never acted this way with me. The last time a Taxi Driver tried this with a Beautiful Bar Girl I was with she told him to "F.....take a hike!.  

 

If the taxi driver acted in this way and the girl really didn't care either way then couldn't that suggest that she could be a bar girl and the OP is just too embarrassed to say it on here? Who knows? My assessment came from his words, not my apparent 'plenty of experience with Thai girls'. Or maybe she has a good sense of humour? Experience with Thai girls? What does that even mean? I knew 100 or so Thai girls back in my country (so obviously mostly rich to afford to study/live there), and they all had different personalities. The same in Thai, generally, like in all countries. people have different personalities. That is what 'adjectives' are for, to describe people as people are, wait for it, all different lol. Maybe 'bar girls' all have similar personalities, but that isn't their true personality is it? It is just an act they put on for the job. I haven't had the adequate experience to comment on them.

 

Again you direct something back to me when the situation I am arguing is against both the OP and yourself. The situation sums up how the two of you may react to situations, not me. As the situation I would never find myself in, because as you agreed with, you either discuss it or walk away. You don't have a little bitch about something so insignificant on a public forum. What will the OP waste our times on next? The fact she didn't want a cup of coffee with her breakfast, and all the 'Thai experienced' farang will come with their two cents. It is a pathetic problem with an equally pathetic way of fixing the problem, lets be honest. 

 

Edited December 18, 2016 by wildewillie89

[steven100]

I can understand you were in a dangerous situation at the time,

The driver should have been watching the road.

 

As for the tilac, she sounds like the one for you.

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 18/12/2559 at 8:29 AM, wildewillie89 said:

 

If the taxi driver acted in this way and the girl really didn't care either way then couldn't that suggest that she could be a bar girl and the OP is just too embarrassed to say it on here? Who knows? My assessment came from his words, not my apparent 'plenty of experience with Thai girls'. Or maybe she has a good sense of humour? Experience with Thai girls? What does that even mean? I knew 100 or so Thai girls back in my country (so obviously mostly rich to afford to study/live there), and they all had different personalities. The same in Thai, generally, like in all countries. people have different personalities. That is what 'adjectives' are for, to describe people as people are, wait for it, all different lol. Maybe 'bar girls' all have similar personalities, but that isn't their true personality is it? It is just an act they put on for the job. I haven't had the adequate experience to comment on them.

 

Again you direct something back to me when the situation I am arguing is against both the OP and yourself. The situation sums up how the two of you may react to situations, not me. As the situation I would never find myself in, because as you agreed with, you either discuss it or walk away. You don't have a little bitch about something so insignificant on a public forum. What will the OP waste our times on next? The fact she didn't want a cup of coffee with her breakfast, and all the 'Thai experienced' farang will come with their two cents. It is a pathetic problem with an equally pathetic way of fixing the problem, lets be honest. 

 

If you want Honesty then this Op has the perfect right to post here what he wants related to Thailand, and you have the perfect right not to read that or comment on it, if you so chose. You are not a judge or in power to decide what he can say or not.

 

You lack experience in Thai Women and even a Bar Girl. A Bar Girl does not even like this name. It is one we use. She prefers "Working Girl" and calling her a Prostitute is a total insult to her. I understand why. Do You?

 

All Thai Women demand to be treated with respect. The only defense I can offer you is that if the Op does not treat this Thai Girl with respect, she may be dishing out what he is giving her now. Thai Girls will do that.

 

Respect is highly valued in Thailand for both men and women. Above money even! Or should I say money gets respect? I am not sure! But I do think it is the most prized here.  

[Thaiwrath]

1 minute ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

If you want Honesty then this Op has the perfect right to post here what he wants related to Thailand, and you have the perfect right not to read that or comment on it, if you so chose. You are not a judge or in power to decide what he can say or not.

 

You lack experience in Thai Women and even a Bar Girl. A Bar Girl does not even like this name. It is one we use. She prefers "Working Girl" and calling her a Prostitute is a total insult to her. I understand why. Do You?

 

All Thai Women demand to be treated with respect. The only defense I can offer you is that if the Op does not treat this Thai Girl with respect, she may be dishing out what he is giving her now. Thai Girls will do that.

 

Respect is highly valued in Thailand for both men and women. Above money even! Or should I say money gets respect? I am not sure! But I do think it is the most prized here.  

 

It is what is is, regardless of what you want to call it.

[wildewillie89]

6 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

If you want Honesty then this Op has the perfect right to post here what he wants related to Thailand, and you have the perfect right not to read that or comment on it, if you so chose. You are not a judge or in power to decide what he can say or not.

 

You lack experience in Thai Women and even a Bar Girl. A Bar Girl does not even like this name. It is one we use. She prefers "Working Girl" and calling her a Prostitute is a total insult to her. I understand why. Do You?

 

All Thai Women demand to be treated with respect. The only defense I can offer you is that if the Op does not treat this Thai Girl with respect, she may be dishing out what he is giving her now. Thai Girls will do that.

 

Respect is highly valued in Thailand for both men and women. Above money even! Or should I say money gets respect? I am not sure! But I do think it is the most prized here.  

 

Is it really related to Thailand though? Not really. He should be posting this in a relationship advice forum, not a Thai forum. As i said, you cant seriously be trying to tell me that every single woman in Thailand has the exact same personality no matter what their job is are you? What shapes personality? Family, lifestyle, education, work, life experience. So please stop trying to imply you know every single Thai person because you have paid to be with some of them. The very fact youre paying clearly shows you dont even get to see their true personality. Does a policeman show his true personality at work? Does a doctor? Does a teacher? No. So why do you claim a bar girl does?

 

As for the name, didnt you yourself use the term 'bar girl' numerous times? And now youre trying to give us all a lecture on what to call them? I am fully aware of the women's right movements and definitions relating around 'working girls', however, in a place like Thailand where it is illegal, by strict definition you cannot call them 'working girls'. You can only describe their illegal job, 'a girl in a bar'. I personally think the job should me made legal and respect any girl that can do the long hours, physical exertion on a daily basis.

 

Respect isnt so highly valued in Thailand in this context. Face is valued. They are not the same thing. Money gets face, not respect. Yes, respect is highly regarded in more official contexts, above money also. However, this situation does not warrant any respect. 

 

Lack experience? I clearly stated that I have many Thai friends. Mostly back home, but since moving here also. I also stated I have limited interaction with 'bar girls'. But even you must also, as by definition they are 'working girls', which means you only see them for set times. To say that you understand 'working girls', must also mean that you can group every air hostess personality as well through the limited contact you have with them too...they are 'working girls' also. As for the experience with Thai women, I already made my point. I think forming real, genuine friendships that last years and not one hour gives me a better insight into how Thai women are (all being different). Especially when you see their real personality and not their 'work' personality. 

 

I would love to hear your dot points describing every Thai woman in the country and abroad though...you claim to be an expert, so lets hear it. Describe in your next post how every Thai woman is. Lets see how many of the dot points match up with my friends personalities. 

Edited December 20, 2016 by wildewillie89

[GOLDBUGGY]

14 hours ago, Thaiwrath said:

 

It is what is is, regardless of what you want to call it.

From the Outside looking In, we could call it that. But experience says otherwise. 

 

If you have even been with a "Prostitute" in the West, and a "Working Girl" from the East, you would see a world of deference right away. Why do you think that some Farangs fall into love with a Working Girl right away? 

 

I can't explain it to you! I can't draw you a picture! You just have to be there and experience this yourself. 

 

 

[SaintLouisBlues]

8 minutes ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

a world of deference

A phrase I will treasure

[Thaiwrath]

1 minute ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

From the Outside looking In, we could call it that. But experience says otherwise. 

 

If you have even been with a "Prostitute" in the West, and a "Working Girl" from the East, you would see a world of deference right away. Why do you think that some Farangs fall into love with a Working Girl right away? 

 

I can't explain it to you! I can't draw you a picture! You just have to be there and experience this yourself. 

 

 

 

I do not want you to draw a picture, but selling sex for money is prostitution.

[sandemara]

A stupid question to ask in a forum.  The OP could probably better use their limited time in LOS finding a more compatible companion instead of taking on the guise of pathetic drama queen on TVF.

[Canceraid]

Dear OP, it would help us a lot to help you by giving our proper advise but only if you could post a recent picture of both yourself and your girlfriend. Believe me it would help a lot.

[Stevemercer]

To quote:  'Don,t expect any respect until you can at least understand and speak Thai'. 

 

I'm pretty sure that just speaking the language doesn't entitle someone to respect. An <deleted> speaking Thai is still an <deleted> to everyone. 

[pumpjack]

On 20/12/2016 at 11:59 PM, wildewillie89 said:

 

Is it really related to Thailand though? Not really. He should be posting this in a relationship advice forum, not a Thai forum. As i said, you cant seriously be trying to tell me that every single woman in Thailand has the exact same personality no matter what their job is are you? What shapes personality? Family, lifestyle, education, work, life experience. So please stop trying to imply you know every single Thai person because you have paid to be with some of them. The very fact youre paying clearly shows you dont even get to see their true personality. Does a policeman show his true personality at work? Does a doctor? Does a teacher? No. So why do you claim a bar girl does?

 

As for the name, didnt you yourself use the term 'bar girl' numerous times? And now youre trying to give us all a lecture on what to call them? I am fully aware of the women's right movements and definitions relating around 'working girls', however, in a place like Thailand where it is illegal, by strict definition you cannot call them 'working girls'. You can only describe their illegal job, 'a girl in a bar'. I personally think the job should me made legal and respect any girl that can do the long hours, physical exertion on a daily basis.

 

Respect isnt so highly valued in Thailand in this context. Face is valued. They are not the same thing. Money gets face, not respect. Yes, respect is highly regarded in more official contexts, above money also. However, this situation does not warrant any respect. 

 

Lack experience? I clearly stated that I have many Thai friends. Mostly back home, but since moving here also. I also stated I have limited interaction with 'bar girls'. But even you must also, as by definition they are 'working girls', which means you only see them for set times. To say that you understand 'working girls', must also mean that you can group every air hostess personality as well through the limited contact you have with them too...they are 'working girls' also. As for the experience with Thai women, I already made my point. I think forming real, genuine friendships that last years and not one hour gives me a better insight into how Thai women are (all being different). Especially when you see their real personality and not their 'work' personality. 

 

I would love to hear your dot points describing every Thai woman in the country and abroad though...you claim to be an expert, so lets hear it. Describe in your next post how every Thai woman is. Lets see how many of the dot points match up with my friends personalities. 

if you dont like whats posted on the forum then do not reply,  i dont want to listen to your drivel  its of no concern to me what you think. 

[wildewillie89]

15 hours ago, pumpjack said:

if you dont like whats posted on the forum then do not reply,  i dont want to listen to your drivel  its of no concern to me what you think. 

 

A fair few people have complained at how pathetic the thread is and do not want to see this stuff on a forum people supposedly used for 'real' help when living in a foreign country.

 

If it is of no concern then why did you comment on it? I commented as you're filling up my 'newsfeed' with a useless topic that isnt at all relevant to Thailand. Don't want to listen to my 'drivel' but you make how ever many members there are on here listen to your 'actual drivel' lol. Just grow a set and have a discussion with her like a real person would do...dont come and moan/complain on a forum.

Edited December 22, 2016 by wildewillie89

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 20/12/2559 at 6:59 AM, wildewillie89 said:

 

Is it really related to Thailand though? Not really. He should be posting this in a relationship advice forum, not a Thai forum. As i said, you cant seriously be trying to tell me that every single woman in Thailand has the exact same personality no matter what their job is are you? What shapes personality? Family, lifestyle, education, work, life experience. So please stop trying to imply you know every single Thai person because you have paid to be with some of them. The very fact youre paying clearly shows you dont even get to see their true personality. Does a policeman show his true personality at work? Does a doctor? Does a teacher? No. So why do you claim a bar girl does?

 

As for the name, didnt you yourself use the term 'bar girl' numerous times? And now youre trying to give us all a lecture on what to call them? I am fully aware of the women's right movements and definitions relating around 'working girls', however, in a place like Thailand where it is illegal, by strict definition you cannot call them 'working girls'. You can only describe their illegal job, 'a girl in a bar'. I personally think the job should me made legal and respect any girl that can do the long hours, physical exertion on a daily basis.

 

Respect isnt so highly valued in Thailand in this context. Face is valued. They are not the same thing. Money gets face, not respect. Yes, respect is highly regarded in more official contexts, above money also. However, this situation does not warrant any respect. 

 

Lack experience? I clearly stated that I have many Thai friends. Mostly back home, but since moving here also. I also stated I have limited interaction with 'bar girls'. But even you must also, as by definition they are 'working girls', which means you only see them for set times. To say that you understand 'working girls', must also mean that you can group every air hostess personality as well through the limited contact you have with them too...they are 'working girls' also. As for the experience with Thai women, I already made my point. I think forming real, genuine friendships that last years and not one hour gives me a better insight into how Thai women are (all being different). Especially when you see their real personality and not their 'work' personality. 

 

I would love to hear your dot points describing every Thai woman in the country and abroad though...you claim to be an expert, so lets hear it. Describe in your next post how every Thai woman is. Lets see how many of the dot points match up with my friends personalities. 

I am not trying to talk about all Thai Women. I and talking about every person in this world. 

 

Just because the guy down the street hauls garbage for a ,living it doesn't mean he wants to be treated by you like the rubbish he is hauling, based only on that you got a higher education than him. I can speak for every sex, skin color, age, and religion that all people like to be treated with respect. Personality has nothing to do with that. That is a fact son!

 

Yes I said Bar Girl several times when talking about them to you. But I don't call them that to there face. Or Prostitute! Or even Working Girl! I call them by there first name and like all other people liked to be called by. Doesn't "Hey Tom" sound better then "Hey You...Garbage Man"? 

 

I am sure your Thai Friends like to be treated with respect also. I have no doubt about that. If it is you who is not treating them this way then it is you who needs to do a self examination, and not them. 

 

 

[yogi100]

In our own countries we have precious little respect for our own women who sell themselves to foreigners. I remember when the Arabs started coming to London in the 1970s and English pros were all over them, we accepted it because they paid big money but the girls were still no more than slags in our eyes.

 

We should not expect Thai men to be any different to ourselves when dealing with women who are basically common prostitutes.

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 20/12/2559 at 3:15 PM, Thaiwrath said:

 

I do not want you to draw a picture, but selling sex for money is prostitution.

Yes! If that was all there was to that then you would be right. But it isn't exactly like that in the East. Although as they say it is up-to-you.

 

I have gone out with plenty Bar Girls in the past just to have fun at a disco or something like that. Dance and drank the night away. They got me there safely and back home again in the wee hours of the morning safely again. Maybe had a few more drinks in the hotel room after she went to get me a bottle and ended up just going to sleep. This happened a lot of times, where no sex was involved. So is that still Prostitution?

 

My point is that it is different here many times over. I doubt you would ever do that with a Prostitute from the West and to be honest I never heard of anyone that did that and this happened to them. So it is not that cut and dry to put the label of Prostitute on them here, as it is different. . 

[GOLDBUGGY]

5 minutes ago, yogi100 said:

In our own countries we have precious little respect for our own women who sell themselves to foreigners. I remember when the Arabs started coming to London in the 1970s and English pros were all over them, we accepted it because they paid big money but the girls were still no more than slags in our eyes.

 

We should not expect Thai men to be any different to ourselves when dealing with women who are basically common prostitutes.

So what you are saying is that in your country you have many people who are disrespectful towards certain women based on how they earn there money. Even when they know nothing of there backgrounds and the hardships they may have faced to get them in that job in the first place.

 

Hey! I know several people in my country to who don't respect someone else based only on his skin color. Other perhaps because of their religion. So because of all these people, does that make it right to be this way? 

 

There is a stigma in probably every race where most men don't want to marry a Prostitutes. I can't say that this would be my first choice either. Not many men what a wife who did the whole football team, or all the male members (and half the female members) at there local pub. But there is a big difference in treating a woman with respect and marrying her.  

 

 

[yogi100]

10 minutes ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

So what you are saying is that in your country you have many people who are disrespectful towards certain women based on how they earn there money. Even when they know nothing of there backgrounds and the hardships they may have faced to get them in that job in the first place.

 

Hey! I know several people in my country to who don't respect someone else based only on his skin color. Other perhaps because of their religion. So because of all these people, does that make it right to be this way? 

 

There is a stigma in probably every race where most men don't want to marry a Prostitutes. I can't say that this would be my first choice either. Not many men what a wife who did the whole football team, or all the male members (and half the female members) at there local pub. But there is a big difference in treating a woman with respect and marrying her.  

 

 

 

Don't start that 'So what you are saying' routine. You don't know what I'm saying at all so don't pretend that you do.

 

You say what you want to say and kindly leave me to do the same.

 

Girls turn to prostitution because it's easy money and because it beats having to work for a living. But they sacrifice their reputation and social standing when they do so. To them, for whatever reason it's a price worth paying. They usually have very little respect for themselves and even less for their punters.

 

 

[GOLDBUGGY]

14 minutes ago, yogi100 said:

 

Don't start that 'So what you are saying' routine. You don't know what I'm saying at all so don't pretend that you do.

 

You say what you want to say and kindly leave me to do the same.

 

Girls turn to prostitution because it's easy money and because it beats having to work for a living. But they sacrifice their reputation and social standing when they do so. To them, for whatever reason it's a price worth paying. They usually have very little respect for themselves and even less for their punters.

 

 

Many Thai Girls turn to Prostitution out of desperation. Many come from poor villages with poor education and poor families, who could not afford to send them to University even if they had the brains to go. Or they were needed on the farm to do the hard work. Many were dumped by there Thai Boyfriend or Husband and left with a kid to support by themselves as well. I don't have an exactly numbers but I would guess over half of them. 

 

I guess it could be argued that they could go to the big city like Bangkok and try to find work in a factory or something like that. But earning only 8,000 to 9,000 Baht a month and in an expensive city, when you have a room to pay for and your food, there is not much left over for your child. But many do just that and try.

 

Most of them have friends working in a bar someplace or massage parlor, who can help them get a job in the bar if they are attractive. The younger and very attractive ones can do very well in this line of work. So to many it becomes a choice of working in some factory someplace for less money, and yet still having to spread your legs for the boss, or working in a bar and doing the same for much more money.

 

These Thai Girls are used to hard work, so I doubt they become a Bar Girl because they are lazy. I don't know if you can even call this easy money. I sure don't think it would be if that was me. A lot of Bar Girls start this job but many quit after a very short time as they find they can't do this as they thought they could.

 

But as you said it is your opinion and I certainly am not going to try and change that. You are more than welcome to think as you like and even when you are wrong.   

[Thaiwrath]

Your first 6 words sums it up.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/15/2016 at 3:38 PM, kenk24 said:

So, she can have other relations, but they should only be behind your back so that you can pretend that she doesn't? I think you must more clearly explain your fantasies as reality seems to be intruding here. 

I don't see it like that. I see it as when he is not there she goes with other men, and that is understood by him. I assume she is a bar girl.

That's not an unusual situation. It's only when the farang is stupid enough to be giving over the readies so that his BG GF doesn't have to "go with man" when he is not around, that it gets to be a fraught situation.

[thaibeachlovers]

7 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

Many Thai Girls turn to Prostitution out of desperation. Many come from poor villages with poor education and poor families, who could not afford to send them to University even if they had the brains to go. Or they were needed on the farm to do the hard work. Many were dumped by there Thai Boyfriend or Husband and left with a kid to support by themselves as well. I don't have an exactly numbers but I would guess over half of them. 

 

I guess it could be argued that they could go to the big city like Bangkok and try to find work in a factory or something like that. But earning only 8,000 to 9,000 Baht a month and in an expensive city, when you have a room to pay for and your food, there is not much left over for your child. But many do just that and try.

 

Most of them have friends working in a bar someplace or massage parlor, who can help them get a job in the bar if they are attractive. The younger and very attractive ones can do very well in this line of work. So to many it becomes a choice of working in some factory someplace for less money, and yet still having to spread your legs for the boss, or working in a bar and doing the same for much more money.

 

These Thai Girls are used to hard work, so I doubt they become a Bar Girl because they are lazy. I don't know if you can even call this easy money. I sure don't think it would be if that was me. A lot of Bar Girls start this job but many quit after a very short time as they find they can't do this as they thought they could.

 

But as you said it is your opinion and I certainly am not going to try and change that. You are more than welcome to think as you like and even when you are wrong.   

I disagree. Sure, there are some that do it because they are desperate, but they don't do well on the game. The ones I have met over the many years I have visited LOS like the lifestyle. Many rural girls want to live in the city with the bright lights etc, and for a girl with no education to speak of working in a bar provides them with friends, the party lifestyle and more money than they could ever earn planting rice.

Of course, for the average westerner, indoctrinated with PC propaganda from birth, it is difficult to comprehend that many bargirls like the lifestyle, or that when they get bored or over that phase of their life, they move on to other things. I never met one that considered it as a "career" choice.

 

In my experience, it's only westerners that  consider sex to be sinful or degrading.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, yogi100 said:

 

Don't start that 'So what you are saying' routine. You don't know what I'm saying at all so don't pretend that you do.

 

You say what you want to say and kindly leave me to do the same.

 

Girls turn to prostitution because it's easy money and because it beats having to work for a living. But they sacrifice their reputation and social standing when they do so. To them, for whatever reason it's a price worth paying. They usually have very little respect for themselves and even less for their punters.

 

 

But they sacrifice their reputation and social standing when they do so. To them, for whatever reason it's a price worth paying. They usually have very little respect for themselves

I fundamentally disagree with that. The ones I have known have as much respect for themselves as any people I know back home that have never been near a barbeer in their life. They also have no problem going home to their families or the village.

 

and even less for their punters.

I agree that they have little respect for men that feel obliged to act like free ATMs. Can't buy love.

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

Yes! If that was all there was to that then you would be right. But it isn't exactly like that in the East. Although as they say it is up-to-you.

 

I have gone out with plenty Bar Girls in the past just to have fun at a disco or something like that. Dance and drank the night away. They got me there safely and back home again in the wee hours of the morning safely again. Maybe had a few more drinks in the hotel room after she went to get me a bottle and ended up just going to sleep. This happened a lot of times, where no sex was involved. So is that still Prostitution?

 

My point is that it is different here many times over. I doubt you would ever do that with a Prostitute from the West and to be honest I never heard of anyone that did that and this happened to them. So it is not that cut and dry to put the label of Prostitute on them here, as it is different. . 

Westerners that denigrate Thai bargirls have no clue. They equate Thai bargirls as being the same as western prostitutes that will have a shag or a BJ in a car or behind a dumpster because they are druggies or suchlike.

Thai bargirls are more like ordinary girls that want to party and go out with men to have sex because, surprise, surprise, surprise, they enjoy sex. Of course, the money is why they are working in a bar in a tourist area, as if they didn't need money they would be having it off with Thai men.

Many farangs have long term Thai bargirl friends that stay with them every time they visitThailand. It's only if the farang is stupid enough to believe that she wouldn't go with other men when he isn't in Thailand that the situation can get tense.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

 

A fair few people have complained at how pathetic the thread is and do not want to see this stuff on a forum people supposedly used for 'real' help when living in a foreign country.

 

If it is of no concern then why did you comment on it? I commented as you're filling up my 'newsfeed' with a useless topic that isnt at all relevant to Thailand. Don't want to listen to my 'drivel' but you make how ever many members there are on here listen to your 'actual drivel' lol. Just grow a set and have a discussion with her like a real person would do...dont come and moan/complain on a forum.

LOL. No one forces you to read this thread. Just don't click on it- jai jen, jai yen.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/20/2016 at 0:59 PM, wildewillie89 said:

 

Is it really related to Thailand though? Not really. He should be posting this in a relationship advice forum, not a Thai forum. As i said, you cant seriously be trying to tell me that every single woman in Thailand has the exact same personality no matter what their job is are you? What shapes personality? Family, lifestyle, education, work, life experience. So please stop trying to imply you know every single Thai person because you have paid to be with some of them. The very fact youre paying clearly shows you dont even get to see their true personality. Does a policeman show his true personality at work? Does a doctor? Does a teacher? No. So why do you claim a bar girl does?

 

As for the name, didnt you yourself use the term 'bar girl' numerous times? And now youre trying to give us all a lecture on what to call them? I am fully aware of the women's right movements and definitions relating around 'working girls', however, in a place like Thailand where it is illegal, by strict definition you cannot call them 'working girls'. You can only describe their illegal job, 'a girl in a bar'. I personally think the job should me made legal and respect any girl that can do the long hours, physical exertion on a daily basis.

 

Respect isnt so highly valued in Thailand in this context. Face is valued. They are not the same thing. Money gets face, not respect. Yes, respect is highly regarded in more official contexts, above money also. However, this situation does not warrant any respect. 

 

Lack experience? I clearly stated that I have many Thai friends. Mostly back home, but since moving here also. I also stated I have limited interaction with 'bar girls'. But even you must also, as by definition they are 'working girls', which means you only see them for set times. To say that you understand 'working girls', must also mean that you can group every air hostess personality as well through the limited contact you have with them too...they are 'working girls' also. As for the experience with Thai women, I already made my point. I think forming real, genuine friendships that last years and not one hour gives me a better insight into how Thai women are (all being different). Especially when you see their real personality and not their 'work' personality. 

 

I would love to hear your dot points describing every Thai woman in the country and abroad though...you claim to be an expert, so lets hear it. Describe in your next post how every Thai woman is. Lets see how many of the dot points match up with my friends personalities. 

I think forming real, genuine friendships that last years and not one hour gives me a better insight into how Thai women are (all being different).

 

That sentence proves you are not answering the OP and are off topic. This thread isn't about "short time". It is about someone having a long term relationship with a girl that might or probably goes with men for money.

The going with men for money is irrelevant to the discussion, as it is possible to have a real relationship with someone whatever they do for a living.

By focusing on the money aspect, you are talking about something completely different from what the OP was asking about

 

BTW, of course it's a Thai related subject. There is no equivalent of the Thai bargirl phenomenon anywhere else in the world.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/20/2016 at 9:15 PM, Thaiwrath said:

 

I do not want you to draw a picture, but selling sex for money is prostitution.

I'll agree with that as long as you agree that the western women that marry old men for money (  can't be love ) are prostitutes and that every western girl that will only shag "dates" that buy her a nice dinner and a night out are also prostitutes.