Is wanting to find a girlfriend/wife reason enough to move to Thailand?

[kevozman1]

Only if you enjoy living in Thailand. If you do meet a girl then take things slow and <deleted> don't fall for some bar girl. Even if a potential girlfriend has a friend who works in the bar scene I would be extremely cautious. Oh and avoid any Pattaya or Phuket relationships. Just do yourself a favour and save yourself a lot of bullshit.

[khunPer]

Is wanting to find a girlfriend/wife reason enough to move to Thailand?

Yes, indeed – giving it a try is much better than later regretting that you didn't...

[smotherb]

7 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

I wanted to move to Thailand many years before I did and my advice to anyone is stay in 'farangland' and make your money, have you career and get your pension sorted THEN come here 50+

 

coming here to get a GF is almost suicidal as most of us retire here for fun some do find a wife/GF but why do that when you can have variety?  so stay there, work hard and come here once a year to party until you can retire here permanently. 

Ah, the old wait until your older ploy. While being prepared for your retirement is most sensible; I am forever grateful that I came to Southeast Asia at 20 and managed to find good jobs to enable me hanging around here most of my life.

 

Young guys stand a better chance at getting a non-monetary relationship going with young Thai girls than do older men. Still, it helps if you have a way with the ladies—learning Thai is a big plus.

 

Now, we wouldn't want calbear09 to miss-out on the young man's fantasy, would we? He is old enough to make up his own mind, but he has asked our opinions. As long as his bull-filter works, he could get some good advice.

 

If I were his age, unencumbered in my home country, had the time, and had some cash; I would come over and teach English for a couple of years. Take your time, meet some decent girls; have a good time—make it a good experience. Whether you find someone or something, or not in that two-year time; you will probably have realized that teaching English in Thailand offers a very limited future. You may be able to find other work; work which pays better and offers a future. Keep your eyes open and network while you’re here.

 

If you haven’t found better work after two years and whether or not you have found the right girl; go back home and work. You can save and invest until you're old enough for a pension. Then, you can come back for retirement.  If you found that someone in that two years, your kids will be grown or in college and retirement in Thailand enables you to send them a ticket to visit. If you didn't find her the first time; then, join the ranks of the single older retirees looking for a sweet you thing. That may be best part or the worst part; it’s really up to you.

 

[nottocus]

LOve will find you (Kris Allen). BEst not to look and if it comes then great. Enjoy living in the meantime

[Autonuaq]

No, it is not the reason to move to Thailand.

There are better ways to find a girl/woman.

Asian woman are there enough and the once you attact.... doubtfull if it is the right one.

 

The woman you know where yiu are now. The same kind of woman you will see and meet in othee places too.

Package different, aditude and view the same.

 

Most good once are with a husband or man and see you not as the option they are waiting forcwhen you move to Thailand.

Take a break or few and leanr people to know to get the right ince thatcare looking for a guy from abroad and not lives in thailandll.

Later you can move if you still intrested or to other area of Asia. 

 

Edited December 23, 2016 by Autonuaq
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[calbear09]

8 hours ago, DrTuner said:

Aren't there enough Thais in California? I remember something like 200k in Los Angeles alone being quoted.

The area I live in is extremely diverse (near Berkeley in the bay area however I have not met anyone Thai here)

[calbear09]

42 minutes ago, Autonuaq said:

No, it is not the reason to move to Thailand.

There are better ways to find a girl/woman.

Asian woman are there enough and the once you attact.... doubtfull if it is the right one.

 

The woman you know where yiu are now. The same kind of woman you will see and meet in othee places too.

Package different, aditude and view the same.

 

Most good once are with a husband or man and see you not as the option they are waiting forcwhen you move to Thailand.

Take a break or few and leanr people to know to get the right ince thatcare looking for a guy from abroad and not lives in thailandll.

Later you can move if you still intrested or to other area of Asia. 

 

Didn't understand a lot of what you said..

[DogNo1]

You need to go up to the areas in LA where a lot of Thais live.  They do congregate in certain areas but my memory is fuzzy.  You need to develop some personality requirements so that you can vet the women that you meet.  Don't rush in lustfully and optimistically only to find out later that she's not really the girl that you wanted.  Keep in mind that in the LA area, there is Little Saigon in Garden Grove and Westminster, small Korea Towns around here and there and then there is Monterey Park full of Chinese.  As I remember, there are plenty of Asian girls eager to hook up with a white guy.

I just noticed that you live near Berkekey.  There are many Asian girls enrolled at UC Berkeley.  Frequent some of the coffee houses near campus and you'll meet some girls.

 

So far as going to Thailand to find the girl of your dreams, be aware that there have been many, many posters who came here to work and live and find a Thai girl who found themselves coming to crunch time when they approached the age of sixty without enough resources to get them through 30+ years of retirement.   You really must provide for your retirement.  You don't want to be destitute in your old age.  Money has a way of disappearing over here.  I keep all of mine in America and only bring over what I need.  Good luck?

[hawker9000]

You would actually consider moving  to Thailand just to find an Asian girlfriend??   From California, where there must be nearly as many Asian girls around as anywhere else in the world outside of Asia???  

 

If you're well enough off, as you say you are, just plan an extended visit or two.  With an easily-obtained (and currently free!) single-entry visa and then a 30d extension obtained in-country, you can remain for 90d; then hop up to Vientiane or Savannakhet and get another visa and repeat the process for a total of half a year, or even repeat the whole thing a 3rd time (I think Vientiane will give you up to 3 SETVs in a row actually with no questions asked).     

 

You don't really need to pull up roots and move based on "relational speculation", IMO.  I realize keeping the house in CA during such a long absence might be kind of a hassle, but you could rent it out. 

[Ulysses G.]

1 hour ago, hawker9000 said:

You would actually consider moving  to Thailand just to find an Asian girlfriend??   From California, where there must be nearly as many Asian girls around as anywhere else in the world outside of Asia???  

 

 

They are not nearly as cooperative as girls in SEA. However, they are a lot more likely to be sincere about a two-way relationship. There are plenty of good honest women in Thailand, but it is hard for most of us foreigners to suss them out without knowing them for a good while.

[chilli42]

In my view that would be completely the wrong motivation.  You will of course find girlfriends and wives aplenty.  What you will also discover the unintended consequences of achieving that goal, particularly given your apparent awkwardness in establishing stable relationships with women.  The women/girls you are most likely to meet here will come from poor families.  Many of these same women/girls here are unscrupulous schemers due to their upbringing, values and economic circumstances.  You will learn the hard way what it is to be burned emotionally and financially.  You can avoid all of this by not being so "needy" ... forget the girlfriends and wife goal.  Your goal should be to enjoy the kind of life that you can have in Thailand.  Find a good group of male friends and establish a wide circle of women/girls that you fancy and have a great time.  Do not get locked into anyone until you have been here for at least 5 years and you have developed some sense of what is really going on here.  The worst case is that you will have the time of your life.

 

PS ... The other advice above has mainly been good.  Be sure you have the money to make it work.  Be sure you have a plan B.  Never ever, ever loan money to anyone here male (especially foreigners) or female.

[Ulysses G.]

For what it is worth, I agree with chilli42. There no reason for a man to be desperate in Thailand. Play the field until you find someone that you really like and trust - especially trust. That is not an easy thing to find anywhere, but no need to be lonely until it happens in LOS.

[chicowoodduck]

For God sake, take a chill pill and relax.....29?  You can do so much better with your life than leave your brain at the airport in BKK and try to find a gf in Lieland.....geez. :-(

[212Roger]

NO!  "Rent the girl; do not buy..."

[Colabamumbai]

No. Move to Thailand first, you will find many girlfriends.

[calbear09]

5 hours ago, DogNo1 said:

You need to go up to the areas in LA where a lot of Thais live.  They do congregate in certain areas but my memory is fuzzy.  You need to develop some personality requirements so that you can vet the women that you meet.  Don't rush in lustfully and optimistically only to find out later that she's not really the girl that you wanted.  Keep in mind that in the LA area, there is Little Saigon in Garden Grove and Westminster, small Korea Towns around here and there and then there is Monterey Park full of Chinese.  As I remember, there are plenty of Asian girls eager to hook up with a white guy.

I just noticed that you live near Berkekey.  There are many Asian girls enrolled at UC Berkeley.  Frequent some of the coffee houses near campus and you'll meet some girls.

 

So far as going to Thailand to find the girl of your dreams, be aware that there have been many, many posters who came here to work and live and find a Thai girl who found themselves coming to crunch time when they approached the age of sixty without enough resources to get them through 30+ years of retirement.   You really must provide for your retirement.  You don't want to be destitute in your old age.  Money has a way of disappearing over here.  I keep all of mine in America and only bring over what I need.  Good luck?

Yea I studied at UCB and the Asian girls there are not attractive at all (almost all are the cream of the crop academically from China)

Edited December 24, 2016 by calbear09

[calbear09]

2 hours ago, chilli42 said:

In my view that would be completely the wrong motivation.  You will of course find girlfriends and wives aplenty.  What you will also discover the unintended consequences of achieving that goal, particularly given your apparent awkwardness in establishing stable relationships with women.  The women/girls you are most likely to meet here will come from poor families.  Many of these same women/girls here are unscrupulous schemers due to their upbringing, values and economic circumstances.  You will learn the hard way what it is to be burned emotionally and financially.  You can avoid all of this by not being so "needy" ... forget the girlfriends and wife goal.  Your goal should be to enjoy the kind of life that you can have in Thailand.  Find a good group of male friends and establish a wide circle of women/girls that you fancy and have a great time.  Do not get locked into anyone until you have been here for at least 5 years and you have developed some sense of what is really going on here.  The worst case is that you will have the time of your life.

 

PS ... The other advice above has mainly been good.  Be sure you have the money to make it work.  Be sure you have a plan B.  Never ever, ever loan money to anyone here male (especially foreigners) or female.

Good advice. I guess my title was a bit misleading. The girlfriend would be the main reason of course not having to continue a typical cubicle job here would also be a plus

[Syduan]

19 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

I wanted to move to Thailand many years before I did and my advice to anyone is stay in 'farangland' and make your money, have you career and get your pension sorted THEN come here 50+

 

coming here to get a GF is almost suicidal as most of us retire here for fun some do find a wife/GF but why do that when you can have variety?  so stay there, work hard and come here once a year to party until you can retire here permanently. 

Completely agree, I moved here 27 years ago but things have changed since then and I predict life under the present government is only going to get worse. If I had the opportunity I'd head to Cambodia like a shot.

[wildewillie89]

7 hours ago, DogNo1 said:

You need to go up to the areas in LA where a lot of Thais live.  They do congregate in certain areas but my memory is fuzzy.  You need to develop some personality requirements so that you can vet the women that you meet.  Don't rush in lustfully and optimistically only to find out later that she's not really the girl that you wanted.  Keep in mind that in the LA area, there is Little Saigon in Garden Grove and Westminster, small Korea Towns around here and there and then there is Monterey Park full of Chinese.  As I remember, there are plenty of Asian girls eager to hook up with a white guy.

I just noticed that you live near Berkekey.  There are many Asian girls enrolled at UC Berkeley.  Frequent some of the coffee houses near campus and you'll meet some girls.

 

So far as going to Thailand to find the girl of your dreams, be aware that there have been many, many posters who came here to work and live and find a Thai girl who found themselves coming to crunch time when they approached the age of sixty without enough resources to get them through 30+ years of retirement.   You really must provide for your retirement.  You don't want to be destitute in your old age.  Money has a way of disappearing over here.  I keep all of mine in America and only bring over what I need.  Good luck?

 

That is where finding a 'good' wife is so important. Many countries will not pay out the pension unless you go back and live there for a few years before applying. So the options are either do that or find the 'good' wife. Government officers in Thai are handy for that. Will get a pension each month until they die and get a payout when they retire. Home loans are extremely good as you can work it in a way the government ends up paying a third of your house off so you can save, invest etc. Then all your hospital visits, surgeries, imported drugs are free as you're married to a government person. All your kids medical (until 20)/education (until bachelor is finished) is free so saving on that too. Zero corruption money having to be paid to anyone no matter the issue. Realistically, you're just prodding around the last few decades of life so if the house is paid off with savings all you're really paying for is bills which are like 15% of the wife's pension. In saying all that you're right, not a chance in hell i would have moved to Thai at 26 if i didn't marry a government official (as my life wouldn't have been set up in the later years). 

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, calbear09 said:

Good advice. I guess my title was a bit misleading. The girlfriend would be the main reason of course not having to continue a typical cubicle job here would also be a plus

 

You're getting some pretty good advice on this thread.  It's pretty darn easy to find a Thai woman to date.  But it's hard finding a "good" Thai woman, especially when you can't speak Thai.  It seems like you have some preconceived notions of what Thai women are about, with respect to foreigners.  The ones who flock to foreigners are not exactly the creme de la creme.  And is your plan to bring this woman back to America?  The "normal" Thai women from good families would not want to leave Thailand as their family and friends are what's most important to them.  If they're older, from dysfunctional families, poor, little to no prospects, i.e., desperate, then living overseas may be a good option.  If that's what you're looking for, well, they're not hard to find but it's a buyer-beware sort of thing. 

[Reallush]

Learn Thai first, so you can communicate with them and not be the "stupid" farang.

DON'T give up your home in the states! burning old ships before you've settled is the worst thing you can do as you won't have anything to fall back on. 

I would suggest you stay in Thailand for a long visit first. lets say a few months, try what life is like here and see if you actually like it.
 

[ThaiWai]

Last time I was in California there were plenty of Asians, 4.9 million to be exact which is 1/3 of all Asians in the entire United States.  But you can't find 1 with girl parts?  Why don't you do something meaningful with your life since you have amassed such wealth so early in life instead of just thinking about where to get a girl.  Build a business from the ground up, make some smart investments, get a degree, get physically and mentally fit.  When you start being a shot caller you will be fighting of the girls with a stick as opposed to being beaten by one in LOS.   And if you think you are gonna play the visa game here for the next 20 years forget it.  Those days are over.

[puukao]

You want to be nice to humans, YES?  Then help them financially so they can be better mentally and physically.  You will have to spend at least 30,000 baht a month so they can enjoy their life.  

 

then buy them a house, why not?

 

you will never be fluent, but that's OK, they prefer you don't know everything.

 

and get them an iphone7.

 

now, after a few years and a few million baht spent, you might understand things.

 

since you can't work in Thailand, your career will be zero.  Your education will diminish.  Your health will diminish.  You will be an outcast back home.  

 

Which is fine if you have lots of money....

 

[thaibeachlovers]

Take it from one that "did everything right" and still made a mistake getting married.

Don't get married to a Thai girl, but DO have a Thai girl friend, with the following provisos:

don't give her any money other than paying the bills to have the lifestyle YOU want ( don't expect her to pay her share either ), don't live anywhere near her family or have a large enough house for them to stay with you. Most importantly, don't tell her how much money you have or open a joint account, and don't buy property or anything you can't abandon in a hurry.

It is also essential to take responsibility for her not getting pregnant. Don't take her word that she is on the pill etc. A baby is many a poor girl's ticket to future income.

If she asks for large sums of money for any reason- time to move on.

Be prepared to move to another town if necessary.

 

I had Thai girlfriends ( only one at a time, but for many years ), and would certainly do it again if I could.

I would never get married again to a Thai girl.

 

Many western men get married to a Thai girl and have a very nice life, but there are more stories of tragedies for western men than there are happy ones. OTY.

 

BTW, when they start talking about "Thai culture" meaning that you have to do such and such, be warned to cover your backside.

[thaibeachlovers]

PS, don't cut links to your home country as you will never know if you need to return home till it happens.

[thaibeachlovers]

10 minutes ago, ThaiWai said:

Last time I was in California there were plenty of Asians, 4.9 million to be exact which is 1/3 of all Asians in the entire United States.  But you can't find 1 with girl parts?  Why don't you do something meaningful with your life since you have amassed such wealth so early in life instead of just thinking about where to get a girl.  Build a business from the ground up, make some smart investments, get a degree, get physically and mentally fit.  When you start being a shot caller you will be fighting of the girls with a stick as opposed to being beaten by one in LOS.   And if you think you are gonna play the visa game here for the next 20 years forget it.  Those days are over.

Unfortunately, even Asian girls become infected with western PC BS when they live in western countries. I made a big mistake getting married to a Thai girl, but at least I never made the biggest mistake of taking her "home" to live.

 

He has no problem with visas. He can afford the "Elite" card.

[thaibeachlovers]

25 minutes ago, Reallush said:

Learn Thai first, so you can communicate with them and not be the "stupid" farang.

DON'T give up your home in the states! burning old ships before you've settled is the worst thing you can do as you won't have anything to fall back on. 

I would suggest you stay in Thailand for a long visit first. lets say a few months, try what life is like here and see if you actually like it.
 

You will read lots of posts saying learn to speak Thai, but it's not necessary. As long as you have the basics to go shopping etc it's fine. I never wanted to have a conversation with a Thai that couldn't speak English anyway, and I didn't want to know what they were saying about me behind my back.

Just get a girlfriend that speaks good English and you are set.

There are places in Thailand where few speak English, but I certainly never wanted to live there- boring, boring, boring.

[puukao]

LOL.   Funny posts.  Remember, she will make you feel like a LOOOOOOOOOOSER if you don't have a nice motorbike.  Or nice car.  Or nice place.  Do you want the 55-year old man to get your girl because he isn't afraid to spend the money???

 

yes, you better pay for everything.  

 

if you don't want to play these games, 10000x guys will and your girl will cheat on you that many more times.

 

you are only as good as the money in your ATM, because what else can you really offer?

[thaibeachlovers]

15 hours ago, dogpatch55 said:

Yeah  but  a lot  of  people  do not  live to  old age...   Too many  die  quite  young..  Far better to  live  your  life  as  you want,  than  waiting in the  hope  your going  to  make it to old  age..

LOL. I did that, lived life as I wanted to, but didn't make enough money to do so for the rest of my life. Now I'm faced with the worst of all worlds, having to go home because I can't live in Thailand without being married.

Now I do regret retiring early.

I used to have it all, within reason. Good job that paid reasonably well, affordable accomodation, 5 weeks a year holidays in Thailand. Nice girlfriend to stay on the beach with. Jacked it in to get married and live in Thailand. Big mistake.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, puukao said:

LOL.   Funny posts.  Remember, she will make you feel like a LOOOOOOOOOOSER if you don't have a nice motorbike.  Or nice car.  Or nice place.  Do you want the 55-year old man to get your girl because he isn't afraid to spend the money???

 

yes, you better pay for everything.  

 

if you don't want to play these games, 10000x guys will and your girl will cheat on you that many more times.

 

you are only as good as the money in your ATM, because what else can you really offer?

That's only a problem if you get married. Stay single and there's always another out there as long as they think you might be the ATM they always wanted.

Just don't get them pregnant.

 

BTW ( forgot to say it before ) forgedabout being in 'loooove". She won't "looooove" you, so don't put yourself at a disadvantage. It's only good till it isn't and then it's time to move on.