Long Term Stay/marriage Worries

[M&M]

Hi everyone and Merry Christmas.

A very good friend of mine is in a difficult situation and I wonder if those 'in the know' could shed some light on her legal situation. I'll try to put this in simple terms.

An American lady who has been married to a Thai guy for almost 20 years, they have a teenage daughter, the Thai family aren't loaded but own some property but now the marriage is on the rocks.

My friend, lets call her Julia, is worried that the Thai family may just close ranks and cut her off. She has been here for a long time, almost 20 years, and has helped support the family and of course brought up a lovely daughter. However, she has little in terms of money/assets in her name.

If the worst was to happen what would her situation be in regards to divorce in Thailand? Is there anything she can do to protect herself in this difficult situation? Bear in mind she is a little too old just to throw caution to the wind, pack her bags and start anew somewhere else.

Many thanks in advance for your comments and advice. Please, no unconstructive replys.

M&M

[terry57]

thats a very difficult situation your friend is in and could happen to all of us.

the family always close's ranks whether it be in farang land or los and your friend is going to find herself cut off from the family.

the thai guy will just get a new girlfriend and carry on.

i wonder what she will do.?

go back to america after 20 years dont seem like a very good option if she's got a daughter.

the other option is to pick up the pieces and start over but being a female older falang i imagine it would not be a barrel of laughs.

i feel really sorry for your friend as she has got some very hard times a head of her.

being an older single guy in los is like being in heaven but being a female is a totally different story.

good luck to her.

cant even give any advise as its a to hard department issue.

[phusingpete]

thats a very difficult situation your friend is in and could happen to all of us.

the family always close's ranks whether it be in farang land or los and your friend is going to find herself cut off from the family.

the thai guy will just get a new girlfriend and carry on.

i wonder what she will do.?

go back to america after 20 years dont seem like a very good option if she's got a daughter.

the other option is to pick up the pieces and start over but being a female older falang i imagine it would not be a barrel of laughs.

i feel really sorry for your friend as she has got some very hard times a head of her.

being an older single guy in los is like being in heaven but being a female is a totally different story.

good luck to her.

cant even give any advise as its a to hard department issue.

I also am unsure of her rights in Thailand. However contrary to popular farang opinion I have heard that married farang who have been with their Thai partner for some time,have a right to 50% of the couples assets. A friend of mine has recently divorced his Thai wife, she has left the marital home and he still lives there, ok he has paid her off, but he has not lost everything. He has a young daughter and the property and land is now in her name... He found a good solictor who did all the negotiating for him. So it seems that farang do not have to lose everything, particularly after a longish relationship and children are involved.....Could be that she is entitled to some payoff...Best of luck to your friend.....

[bina]

great, this could be me in twenty years....

actually thought about it alot too... farang men always seem to talk about pensions etc but people like me dont have those things... so, if things go 'tits up' then i am w/o anything in the world; although minus child by my now husband.

thought of possible solutions just in case-- become a meechee-- buddhist nun since once contemplated doing that anyway

move back in with one of my children since i couldnt ever return to kibbutz

move in with friends and try to restart my life

remarry a lonely pensioner, bla bla bla

like anything else in life, i will have to deal if it happens

i suspect that she doesnt have too many rights and thai men are not know usually for upholding even the basic things like giving money for their offspring; thai authorities may deem that the child stay with father and family and not mom... sunbelt law people may have a clue as to legal stuff; plus u can find thai family law on the web in thai -- i couldnt find translations to english but showed my husband all relevant clauses for land etc in thai.

however, depending on the relationship of the woman with the family, she may get more support than she thought. happened to me here-not thailand but here in mid. east-- with my ex's family; she should take stock with whom she gets along with and check out what reprecussions may be...

another problem of course is the visa situation, which is more problematic, and the more pressing issue at the moment ...

there is a woman in the ladies forum with similar visa issues due to similar circumstances, so, unless she is one and the same, perhaps your friend should post in the ladies' forum so she can network a bit...

there has been some good advice there from sheryl, november rain et al sorry cant remember whose threads belonged to whom... read thru some

bina and anon

Edited December 8, 2006 by bina

[Casanundra]

I also am unsure of her rights in Thailand. However contrary to popular farang opinion I have heard that married farang who have been with their Thai partner for some time,have a right to 50% of the couples assets. A friend of mine has recently divorced his Thai wife, she has left the marital home and he still lives there, ok he has paid her off, but he has not lost everything. He has a young daughter and the property and land is now in her name... He found a good solictor who did all the negotiating for him. So it seems that farang do not have to lose everything, particularly after a longish relationship and children are involved.....Could be that she is entitled to some payoff...Best of luck to your friend.....

She is entitled to 50% of all things purchased after the wedding. Anything that was owned prior to the wedding she cannot claim against and neither can he make a claim against her for the anything she owned before the marriage either.

The challenge of course is proving which things were purchased after the marriage and therefore subject to the 50% sharing rule.

Edited December 8, 2006 by Casanundra

[Boo]

As with any divorce. Get a lawyer. Don't listen to bar room (or in this case internet) horror stories. if their marriage is legal & they have a child & 20 years under their belt then she is legally entitled to certain things. But only a lawyer will tell her exactly what she is legally entitled to. Best of luck to her.

[Don Quixote]

As with any divorce. Get a lawyer. Don't listen to bar room (or in this case internet) horror stories. if their marriage is legal & they have a child & 20 years under their belt then she is legally entitled to certain things. But only a lawyer will tell her exactly what she is legally entitled to. Best of luck to her.

I agree, consult legal proffesionals, if the answer to the question is not to your liking from the first law firm, consult another to check you are getting advised correctly.

Good luck to your friend, like Terry57 said, it could happen to any of us.

[Don Quixote]

By the way, K&M International Counsellors in Law have American, British and Thai legal experts working for them.

They can be contacted here.

18th floor

Regent House

183 Rajardamri Road

Pathumwan

Bangkok 10330

Tel. 02556496

www.kittmurray.com

[Disco]

By the way, K&M International Counsellors in Law have American, British and Thai legal experts working for them.

They can be contacted here.

18th floor

Regent House

183 Rajardamri Road

Pathumwan

Bangkok 10330

Tel. 02556496

www.kittmurray.com

You may want to check out some of the threads regarding this company on TV if my memory serves me well.......

[Rhys]

Tough call.. But most likely.. She needs to be ready to WALK... And not look back..

"YES..HARD TO DO..but in the end.. that is what is needed..

Best wishes..

[Sing_Sling]

Tough call.. But most likely.. She needs to be ready to WALK... And not look back..

"YES..HARD TO DO..but in the end.. that is what is needed..

Best wishes..

With all due respect: RUBBISH!

She does have rights and should see a solicitor to salvage whatever she is entitled to.

[terry57]

the thing that springs to mind in a situation like this is that,

when relationships go bad the can go really bad and most of us would of experienced this.

in farang land the lawyers get into it, the females have heaps of support mostly from the authoritys and family.

this lady is on her own and its ok to run off to the lawyer but this is los, things pan out differently, the rules and law are easily twisted.

i wonder what support she will have if the ex husband goes off his trolly and turns really nasty.

back home the cops rock up and drag the guy of to the lock up.

what happens here when men turn bad.

[Jessy]

Your friend needs to seek advice from a good lawyer with a credible reputation. This should be her first priority. There are some very good lawyers in Thailnd, but also a hel_l of a lot of corrupt ones.

[M&M]

Thanks very much for your thoughts and advice guys.

It will be passed on.

Have a great holiday season,

M&M

[Tarragona]

I guess she probably has reasons to suppose that the family will close ranks but if she does have a decent relationship with them she really should talk about the situation with them. Although it's forum lore that the Thai family will close ranks, this is some thing of a dangerous generaliztion and should not prevent your friend trying to discuss the issues with the family if she feels able to.

[GuestHouse]

It is by no means certain that the husband or his family will close ranks and disposses the wife of her home, belongings and access to children etc. I know of several Thai families that have managed divorce extremely well, allowing the wife to remain in her home with the support of her husband's family.

The issue there is one of relationships and not one of legal lines, if the wife has a good relationship then maintaining that might be far more important than going after every last cent.

I think too that the first thing the wife should do is determine what it is she wants from the divorce. There are a host of possibilities; continuing contact with family (with whom I presume she has close emotional ties), a share of marital wealth and income.

If the money pot is not large, then she can consider what is to be gained against what is to be lost.

I'd have thought the main issue facing her is not loss of family wealth, but maintaining her status to remain in Thailand. If she is no longer married to a Thai, does she still meet the residence requirements?

I'd also seperate two things, Capital and Income.

We don't have enough information here, but it is implied that she has supported the family (I take it has an income). Then she should ask, will her income support her in Thailand?

I'm sure it is a very difficult sittuation to be in and I wish her the best of luck.