True Love

[KC 71]

When i first came to Thailand in 14 yrs ago i fell in love straight away !

But Isaan took me to the cleaners !

Then i found true love 3rd time lucky

Do you have to have a broken heart to see real love or is it just me ?

I would be interested to hear your input on this

Regards

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[YeahSiam]

Everyone's different but unless you're extremely fortunate in meeting a good Thai woman straight off the plane, you're best advised to take your time getting to know the lay of the land before declaring undying love here.

 

As a general rule of thumb, though, if you're handing over any kind of regular payment to a Thai woman you can hardly converse with then it's very, very unlikely that what you have is "true love".

 

Of course, someone will be along in a minute to say that his 25-40 year younger wife/girlfriend/partner is the real deal but they have little choice but to say such things.

After all, no one actually wants to admit they're a mug.

[sandgroper2]

Here we go again.

[ThaidDown]

A lot of members of this forum have no love for True at all.

 

[Kwasaki]

4 hours ago, sandgroper2 said:

Here we go again.

[JAFO]

Not to take away from the OP but I no longer sign up to that "True Love" or "Soulmate" stuff.  

 

All I  can offer is to take your time with any women anywhere in the world.  The relationships I know that last are based on compromise and understanding.  The ones that fail are lust and infatuation and the novelty wears off.

[The Dancer]

12 hours ago, KC 71 said:

Then i found true love

No, you didn't. You thought you did. But you are wrong. Because you are not the least bit lovable. Oh, don't be offended, I mean nothing personal. I am sure  you are a bang-up kind of guy and the bar doesn't come alive until you are parked on your stool.

 

What I mean is that you bring nothing to the table for a Thai woman to love. You look different,  don't speak her language, know nothing about the movies, music, religion, stories, celebrities, and on and on that she grew up with, your nose is too big and as the day wears on you begin to emit a distinctly farangy odor.

 

What was that you said? We look like Brad Pitt do we? Do me a favor and go watch a couple of lakorns on Channel 7. Do any of the guys look Mr. Pitt? No, because he is too big (buffalo-like), too muscled (reeking of labor class, rather than the lounge set) and too darned ugly (yep, it's relative, where Nadech's the epitome of good looks Brad Pitt is about as hot as Bill O'Reilly).

 

You spent 7 years learning Thai and now read, write and speak? Sorry but all your fluency in Thai does is make you a slightly odd Thai-wannabe farang who just might have other quirks, rather than an honest to goodness off-the-boat farang. In fact your knowing Thai gets you exactly to the point where Thais can see what you don't have a clue of, particularly, Thai culture, values, etc., etc. I am not knocking learning Thai. It's very useful. But it doesn't make you lovable.

 

But you found a well-educated English speaking hiso Thai lass who loves you for your Western self? BS. The guy she really was lusting after before you came into the picture was that kid from the XYZpong family studying to be a doctor, the skinny one, with the mildly feminine features, with a shade of a mustache and a hairy mole under his left cheek. And she almost had him until that total bitch from Korat, who dresses like a slut and was known once to have put out to a motosai guy after getting drunk, stole him. At that point you became the consolation prize.

 

You know what it is about consolation prizes right? Athletes train for years, end up third from last, make a nice speech about how just participating made it all worth it, and gracefully accept a consolation prize. Then when they get home they shut the door, fly into a rage, hurl the prize across the room, and stamp on it till it's a thousand pieces. Yep, that's you and little Miss Hiso.

 

Ah, you are rich? Now, we are talking. Not about true love but a true arrangement. You support her and mom and dad and the lazy brother, and buy a car and build a house and in return she cooks, cleans, and grits her teeth once a week through boom-boom.

 

True love? Just around the corner.

 

 

 

[YeahSiam]

27 minutes ago, The Dancer said:

No, you didn't. You thought you did. But you are wrong. Because you are not the least bit lovable. Oh, don't be offended, I mean nothing personal. I am sure  you are a bang-up kind of guy and the bar doesn't come alive until you are parked on your stool.

 

What I mean is that you bring nothing to the table for a Thai woman to love. You look different,  don't speak her language, know nothing about the movies, music, religion, stories, celebrities, and on and on that she grew up with, your nose is too big and as the day wears on you begin to emit a distinctly farangy odor.

 

What was that you said? We look like Brad Pitt do we? Do me a favor and go watch a couple of lakorns on Channel 7. Do any of the guys look Mr. Pitt? No, because he is too big (buffalo-like), too muscled (reeking of labor class, rather than the lounge set) and too darned ugly (yep, it's relative, where Nadech's the epitome of good looks Brad Pitt is about as hot as Bill O'Reilly).

 

You spent 7 years learning Thai and now read, write and speak? Sorry but all your fluency in Thai does is make you a slightly odd Thai-wannabe farang who just might have other quirks, rather than an honest to goodness off-the-boat farang. In fact your knowing Thai gets you exactly to the point where Thais can see what you don't have a clue of, particularly, Thai culture, values, etc., etc. I am not knocking learning Thai. It's very useful. But it doesn't make you lovable.

 

But you found a well-educated English speaking hiso Thai lass who loves you for your Western self? BS. The guy she really was lusting after before you came into the picture was that kid from the XYZpong family studying to be a doctor, the skinny one, with the mildly feminine features, with a shade of a mustache and a hairy mole under his left cheek. And she almost had him until that total bitch from Korat, who dresses like a slut and was known once to have put out to a motosai guy after getting drunk, stole him. At that point you became the consolation prize.

 

You know what it is about consolation prizes right? Athletes train for years, end up third from last, make a nice speech about how just participating made it all worth it, and gracefully accept a consolation prize. Then when they get home they shut the door, fly into a rage, hurl the prize across the room, and stamp on it till it's a thousand pieces. Yep, that's you and little Miss Hiso.

 

Ah, you are rich? Now, we are talking. Not about true love but a true arrangement. You support her and mom and dad and the lazy brother, and buy a car and build a house and in return she cooks, cleans, and grits her teeth once a week through boom-boom.

 

True love? Just around the corner.

 

 

 

 

That is a post and a half

[1FinickyOne]

Yes. It is true love - - and your experience was real... until its not. 

 

People change, love changes, life changes... that seems to be the nature of things for all of us.

 

Bask in the present.

[kannot]

5 hours ago, The Dancer said:

No, you didn't. You thought you did. But you are wrong. Because you are not the least bit lovable. Oh, don't be offended, I mean nothing personal. I am sure  you are a bang-up kind of guy and the bar doesn't come alive until you are parked on your stool.

 

What I mean is that you bring nothing to the table for a Thai woman to love. You look different,  don't speak her language, know nothing about the movies, music, religion, stories, celebrities, and on and on that she grew up with, your nose is too big and as the day wears on you begin to emit a distinctly farangy odor.

 

What was that you said? We look like Brad Pitt do we? Do me a favor and go watch a couple of lakorns on Channel 7. Do any of the guys look Mr. Pitt? No, because he is too big (buffalo-like), too muscled (reeking of labor class, rather than the lounge set) and too darned ugly (yep, it's relative, where Nadech's the epitome of good looks Brad Pitt is about as hot as Bill O'Reilly).

 

You spent 7 years learning Thai and now read, write and speak? Sorry but all your fluency in Thai does is make you a slightly odd Thai-wannabe farang who just might have other quirks, rather than an honest to goodness off-the-boat farang. In fact your knowing Thai gets you exactly to the point where Thais can see what you don't have a clue of, particularly, Thai culture, values, etc., etc. I am not knocking learning Thai. It's very useful. But it doesn't make you lovable.

 

But you found a well-educated English speaking hiso Thai lass who loves you for your Western self? BS. The guy she really was lusting after before you came into the picture was that kid from the XYZpong family studying to be a doctor, the skinny one, with the mildly feminine features, with a shade of a mustache and a hairy mole under his left cheek. And she almost had him until that total bitch from Korat, who dresses like a slut and was known once to have put out to a motosai guy after getting drunk, stole him. At that point you became the consolation prize.

 

You know what it is about consolation prizes right? Athletes train for years, end up third from last, make a nice speech about how just participating made it all worth it, and gracefully accept a consolation prize. Then when they get home they shut the door, fly into a rage, hurl the prize across the room, and stamp on it till it's a thousand pieces. Yep, that's you and little Miss Hiso.

 

Ah, you are rich? Now, we are talking. Not about true love but a true arrangement. You support her and mom and dad and the lazy brother, and buy a car and build a house and in return she cooks, cleans, and grits her teeth once a week through boom-boom.

 

True love? Just around the corner.

 

 

 

On the other hand my Wife is the bread  winner and  as  such  I retired  early.

She  bought me a  car, then a motorbike, pays for my flights  in and  out have unlimited  access to her  accounts and my own.....................10+  years  now.............shes 25 im 79.........................just  kidding! ( about the age Im really 93!)

[nisakiman]

5 hours ago, The Dancer said:

No, you didn't. You thought you did. But you are wrong. Because you are not the least bit lovable. Oh, don't be offended, I mean nothing personal. I am sure  you are a bang-up kind of guy and the bar doesn't come alive until you are parked on your stool.

 

What I mean is that you bring nothing to the table for a Thai woman to love. You look different,  don't speak her language, know nothing about the movies, music, religion, stories, celebrities, and on and on that she grew up with, your nose is too big and as the day wears on you begin to emit a distinctly farangy odor.

 

What was that you said? We look like Brad Pitt do we? Do me a favor and go watch a couple of lakorns on Channel 7. Do any of the guys look Mr. Pitt? No, because he is too big (buffalo-like), too muscled (reeking of labor class, rather than the lounge set) and too darned ugly (yep, it's relative, where Nadech's the epitome of good looks Brad Pitt is about as hot as Bill O'Reilly).

 

You spent 7 years learning Thai and now read, write and speak? Sorry but all your fluency in Thai does is make you a slightly odd Thai-wannabe farang who just might have other quirks, rather than an honest to goodness off-the-boat farang. In fact your knowing Thai gets you exactly to the point where Thais can see what you don't have a clue of, particularly, Thai culture, values, etc., etc. I am not knocking learning Thai. It's very useful. But it doesn't make you lovable.

 

But you found a well-educated English speaking hiso Thai lass who loves you for your Western self? BS. The guy she really was lusting after before you came into the picture was that kid from the XYZpong family studying to be a doctor, the skinny one, with the mildly feminine features, with a shade of a mustache and a hairy mole under his left cheek. And she almost had him until that total bitch from Korat, who dresses like a slut and was known once to have put out to a motosai guy after getting drunk, stole him. At that point you became the consolation prize.

 

You know what it is about consolation prizes right? Athletes train for years, end up third from last, make a nice speech about how just participating made it all worth it, and gracefully accept a consolation prize. Then when they get home they shut the door, fly into a rage, hurl the prize across the room, and stamp on it till it's a thousand pieces. Yep, that's you and little Miss Hiso.

 

Ah, you are rich? Now, we are talking. Not about true love but a true arrangement. You support her and mom and dad and the lazy brother, and buy a car and build a house and in return she cooks, cleans, and grits her teeth once a week through boom-boom.

 

True love? Just around the corner.

 

 

 

 

Very cynical, but more than a grain of truth in that post. At the end of the day we all need to be realists.

[Deepinthailand]

??

[KC 71]

Oh right !!!


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[KC 71]

I am certainty not going to get a divorce in the foreseeable future
My wife is 2 yrs older than me,which might help
I cant read or write Thai though
Sorry about that !


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[roo860]

No, you didn't. You thought you did. But you are wrong. Because you are not the least bit lovable. Oh, don't be offended, I mean nothing personal. I am sure  you are a bang-up kind of guy and the bar doesn't come alive until you are parked on your stool.
 
What I mean is that you bring nothing to the table for a Thai woman to love. You look different,  don't speak her language, know nothing about the movies, music, religion, stories, celebrities, and on and on that she grew up with, your nose is too big and as the day wears on you begin to emit a distinctly farangy odor.
 
What was that you said? We look like Brad Pitt do we? Do me a favor and go watch a couple of lakorns on Channel 7. Do any of the guys look Mr. Pitt? No, because he is too big (buffalo-like), too muscled (reeking of labor class, rather than the lounge set) and too darned ugly (yep, it's relative, where Nadech's the epitome of good looks Brad Pitt is about as hot as Bill O'Reilly).
 
You spent 7 years learning Thai and now read, write and speak? Sorry but all your fluency in Thai does is make you a slightly odd Thai-wannabe farang who just might have other quirks, rather than an honest to goodness off-the-boat farang. In fact your knowing Thai gets you exactly to the point where Thais can see what you don't have a clue of, particularly, Thai culture, values, etc., etc. I am not knocking learning Thai. It's very useful. But it doesn't make you lovable.
 
But you found a well-educated English speaking hiso Thai lass who loves you for your Western self? BS. The guy she really was lusting after before you came into the picture was that kid from the XYZpong family studying to be a doctor, the skinny one, with the mildly feminine features, with a shade of a mustache and a hairy mole under his left cheek. And she almost had him until that total bitch from Korat, who dresses like a slut and was known once to have put out to a motosai guy after getting drunk, stole him. At that point you became the consolation prize.
 
You know what it is about consolation prizes right? Athletes train for years, end up third from last, make a nice speech about how just participating made it all worth it, and gracefully accept a consolation prize. Then when they get home they shut the door, fly into a rage, hurl the prize across the room, and stamp on it till it's a thousand pieces. Yep, that's you and little Miss Hiso.
 
Ah, you are rich? Now, we are talking. Not about true love but a true arrangement. You support her and mom and dad and the lazy brother, and buy a car and build a house and in return she cooks, cleans, and grits her teeth once a week through boom-boom.
 
True love? Just around the corner.
 
 
 

Post of the year, so far, nice one!!!!![emoji106]

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[KC 71]

My nose is quite small actually ,my wife likes it because of that fact
Its broken though !


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[tartempion]

Could you guys refrain from quoting The Dancer's post at infinum?
Reading him once is enough.

[Panda13]

The Dancer missed one thing in his diatribe. This is a description of all women worldwide not just Thai women . Contrariness knows no ethnicity borders as far as I have experienced.

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[NanLaew]

9 hours ago, Panda13 said:

The Dancer missed one thing in his diatribe. This is a description of all women worldwide not just Thai women . Contrariness knows no ethnicity borders as far as I have experienced.

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A bloke starts a thread about love and the misogynists start swarming.

 

'twas ever thus...

[NanLaew]

14 hours ago, KC 71 said:

I am certainty not going to get a divorce in the foreseeable future
My wife is 2 yrs older than me,which might help
I cant read or write Thai though
Sorry about that !


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Good luck to you and yours. Seems like you have survived the rodeo... it's fun getting back on isn't it?

 

I think that's what some of the less ardent, disenchanted and otherwise "stuck here and can't go home" brigade seem to have forgot. They just give up, get twittered and bisted and blame it all on the bloody women.

[NanLaew]

On 18/01/2017 at 3:11 PM, The Dancer said:

No, you didn't. ....

 

True love? Just around the corner.

 

Ah women...

 

Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em either.

 

Toughen up buttercup.

[KC 71]

Already have done NanLaew-
Thats my nose is broken !


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[KC 71]

Yes ,i wanted to share something and get feedback
And all i got was jaded comments
Wont bother next time !
Bunch od cxxnts
Go fxxk yourselves


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[roo860]

Yes ,i wanted to share something and get feedback
And all i got was jaded comments
Wont bother next time !
Bunch od cxxnts
Go fxxk yourselves


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[emoji23]

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[NanLaew]

toys... pram....

[piersbeckett]

I made similar points to those made by The Dancer in a post a couple of years back and got very little and no positive response, one poster telling me, sarcastically, that he was aware of many successful and happy relationships between foreigners and Thais among his friends and that he was sorry mine hadn't worked out; I was on about communication or rather the lack of it as well as the fundamental incompatibility in 'relationships' between people of European decent and Thais and replied to his claim that he had no communication problems saying that it sounded like his communication was likely limited to the sort of reply he offered me.

 

I have 'been' with my GF for over ten years and although the communication has much improved, I agree with the The Dancer that it will always be a compromise by comparison to a couple who've enjoyed a similar upbringing, background, education and culture despite every relationship involving some compromise.  Generally speaking, that is, in my experience, most relationships here fall into the category of the foreigner billed as a 'provider' and the Thai as the 'provided for, often with family attachments' so, as The Dancer says, it's a 'deal' not 'true love' although, naturally, people form emotional attachments to one another but even then; take away the 'support' and it all crumbles. Objectively the OP sounds like he's 'in love' but is the love he's receiving the real thing i.e. would it stand his inability to support his beloved?

 

The idea that foreigners are generally attractive to Thais is most likely purported by the attention given to foreigners by bar girls in and around beer bars but in reality, that is, in the vast majority of cases and in my personal experience as well as what I've heard from, as it were, the horses' mouths, they're very much a second and financial security driven choice.

 

Anyway, to answer the OP's question; no, I don't think so but it helps, to some degree, to evaluate the situation more accurately.

Edited January 20, 2017 by piersbeckett
mixed up the OP with The Dancer

[JAFO]

33 minutes ago, piersbeckett said:

Generally speaking, that is, in my experience, most relationships here fall into the category of the foreigner billed as a 'provider' and the Thai as the 'provided for, often with family attachments' so, as The Dancer says, it's a 'deal' not 'true love' although, naturally, people form emotional attachments to one another but even then; take away the 'support' and it all crumbles.

 

^ I think this is the case anywhere in the world, not just here. 

 

Everybody (Men and Women ) want financial security. I know I require it as does my wife. You are fooling oneself if you say it is not the case. However each person has their own view and expectations on what that entails. True love and financial security are not linked as I see it. You can be in love with someone for a host of personal reasons but add financial security and it makes it better but for different reasons. Again I am not on board with true love because I do not really know what that means. I remember back in intermediate and High School it was said a lot but we didn't know what it meant back then either. I think it meant "I will not cheat on you, I will be True love". Now older I find it all to be a bit pointless because the stakes and commitments are higher. I think it boils down now to more about care, trust, compromise, companionship. I think most women would not endure the struggles of having to live without or be poor after they grew accustomed to a certain lifestyle(This applies to everywhere in the world). No one wants to go backwards. 

Edited January 20, 2017 by JAFO

[YeahSiam]

2 hours ago, KC 71 said:

Yes ,i wanted to share something and get feedback
And all i got was jaded comments
Wont bother next time !
Bunch od cxxnts
Go fxxk yourselves


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Did you kiss your first wife/girlfriend with that mouth?

[daveAustin]

10 hours ago, KC 71 said:

Yes ,i wanted to share something and get feedback
And all i got was jaded comments
Wont bother next time !
Bunch od cxxnts
Go fxxk yourselves

 

Fair play, op, although you did ask.

As long as you're happy, that's the main thing. Worth bearing in mind how the L word is often viewed here though... it's more a luxury and not really a factor until all the other boxes are ticked at least. I also believe that it helps massively if you're on an equal footing; i.e. financially and educationally.

[bwpage3]

On 1/18/2017 at 10:11 AM, The Dancer said:

No, you didn't. You thought you did. But you are wrong. Because you are not the least bit lovable. Oh, don't be offended, I mean nothing personal. I am sure  you are a bang-up kind of guy and the bar doesn't come alive until you are parked on your stool.

 

What I mean is that you bring nothing to the table for a Thai woman to love. You look different,  don't speak her language, know nothing about the movies, music, religion, stories, celebrities, and on and on that she grew up with, your nose is too big and as the day wears on you begin to emit a distinctly farangy odor.

 

What was that you said? We look like Brad Pitt do we? Do me a favor and go watch a couple of lakorns on Channel 7. Do any of the guys look Mr. Pitt? No, because he is too big (buffalo-like), too muscled (reeking of labor class, rather than the lounge set) and too darned ugly (yep, it's relative, where Nadech's the epitome of good looks Brad Pitt is about as hot as Bill O'Reilly).

 

You spent 7 years learning Thai and now read, write and speak? Sorry but all your fluency in Thai does is make you a slightly odd Thai-wannabe farang who just might have other quirks, rather than an honest to goodness off-the-boat farang. In fact your knowing Thai gets you exactly to the point where Thais can see what you don't have a clue of, particularly, Thai culture, values, etc., etc. I am not knocking learning Thai. It's very useful. But it doesn't make you lovable.

 

But you found a well-educated English speaking hiso Thai lass who loves you for your Western self? BS. The guy she really was lusting after before you came into the picture was that kid from the XYZpong family studying to be a doctor, the skinny one, with the mildly feminine features, with a shade of a mustache and a hairy mole under his left cheek. And she almost had him until that total bitch from Korat, who dresses like a slut and was known once to have put out to a motosai guy after getting drunk, stole him. At that point you became the consolation prize.

 

You know what it is about consolation prizes right? Athletes train for years, end up third from last, make a nice speech about how just participating made it all worth it, and gracefully accept a consolation prize. Then when they get home they shut the door, fly into a rage, hurl the prize across the room, and stamp on it till it's a thousand pieces. Yep, that's you and little Miss Hiso.

 

Ah, you are rich? Now, we are talking. Not about true love but a true arrangement. You support her and mom and dad and the lazy brother, and buy a car and build a house and in return she cooks, cleans, and grits her teeth once a week through boom-boom.

 

True love? Just around the corner.

 

 

 

You must have been really raked by a Thai Woman to write this.