How much do you give your wife/gf to spend for food and stuff

[JoeBloe]

10 minutes ago, Get Real said:

Feel better now?

Laying a good solid stool is a vastly underrated experience. YMMV

[AlexRich]

7 minutes ago, sandrabbit said:

lol I know, sound of screaming reel ........................

It wasn't funny the first time ... 

[smotherb]

2 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

Another logic failure. No longer working != has no money

 

That is in fact a paraphrase of my original question

 

The traditional, implicit social contract is that "running household" obvioates that partner from contributing to those costs. Ask the several billion people in the world who have this implied contract.

It seems you are the failure. If you are so logically challenged that you cannot realize it depends upon your expectations of running the household that determines the cost of doing so.

I no longer care to cater to your impertinence. I call you a troll.

[SoiBiker]

Sometimes this place is like slipping through a time portal back to the 1950s.

 

I don't pay my wife a stipend. I've never given any girlfriend I ever had an allowance or pocket money, and I think they'd have been bemused if I'd even suggested it. You guys seem to live in an entirely different world. 

[JoeBloe]

6 minutes ago, SoiBiker said:

Sometimes this place is like slipping through a time portal back to the 1950s.

 

I don't pay my wife a stipend. I've never given any girlfriend I ever had an allowance or pocket money, and I think they'd have been bemused if I'd even suggested it. You guys seem to live in an entirely different world. 

I am not married to her. Please keep up.

[JoeBloe]

26 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

"My Thai Bride" Ted ... not the Wahlberg movie.

Not on TPB unfortunately

[SoiBiker]

2 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

I am not married to her. Please keep up.

You didn't read my post very carefully, did you?

[JackThompson]

25 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

I don't work either. We spend our time together doing whatever we feel like.

Ok - understood.  For me, covering the rent, food, and bills is enough of a stipend, considering there is no child-care involved.  I see no reason to pay into the "shoe budget" (someone mentioned shoes - got me laughing - the love of shoes - something a "guy like me would never understand" I suppose). 

 

But as long as what you are doing works for you two, I am glad it does. 

[AlexRich]

1 minute ago, MichaelBates said:

Not on TPB unfortunately

I managed to watch online for free a few years ago, but the owner seems to have it available on download for a price ... a small charge if my memory serves me right. I think it's on Vevo? Cringeworthy at times, but in the end I did feel sorry for the deluded Ted. 

 

A salutary tale and a valuable lesson to all expats who land in Thailand looking for love!

[Naam]

1 hour ago, MichaelBates said:

Countries lived != Relationships had

7 relationships in 7 countries? you wicked fellow! 

[KhonKaenKowboy]

Ask her how much she has saved, if any.  Better yet, run her National Credit Report on the Krungsri website.  Median household income is about 27000 per month...Supporting the in-laws is a bottomless money pit....and you aren't even married.  A Thai girl is on a friends payroll....suddenly her father shows up after a seven year absence.  He said the thought of keeping her able bodied father in Scotch and cigarettes makes him limp.  He pays her 15000 per month to manage his two houses, which entails her collecting the rent...35k x 2.  He could probably get it done for 5k by an attorney.  Her and her dad live in another house his company owns....rent free..that was 3 million.  And he is only here two months per year.  Might not end well.  But, there are plenty of ladies out there that simply want an honest man...no need to pay them escort fees.  How much would a Thai man give a 35 or 40 yo per month?

Edited January 28, 2017 by KhonKaenKowboy

[Ahab]

9 hours ago, BlindMagician said:

That's what you think. ?

That is what I know. If she was going to start doing bad stuff with our money I think I would have seen it just a bit earlier in our marriage. Not everyone is in the same situation as we are. We are married, not boyfriend and girlfriend living together. Every situation is different.

[Ahab]

9 hours ago, Jeffrey346 said:

My wife has my debit card as well. After 10 years of marriage, she still asks if she can buy this or that. I have always told her to buy what she needs to buy. There has never been a problem..

We are in the same situation. As I said in an earlier post she is much more frugal than I am. She realizes that it is our money.

[jak2002003]

11 minutes ago, Ahab said:

We are in the same situation. As I said in an earlier post she is much more frugal than I am. She realizes that it is our money.

I am sure she told you that.

[KhonKaenKowboy]

I would urge guys in relationships to read about "the low hanging fruit syndrome;" it explains a lot about economics here.  And if you combine that with what a Thai expat in the UK recently wrote about the Thais:  "they are 40% Chinese, and for all intents purposes the other 60% is French.". IOW, a government job with a few rubber stamps is the holy Grail here; it sure as heck not starting  tech company or taking risks...eating and sanuk are the only things of importance....planning for the future consists of explaining why you are an hour late.  

[JackThompson]

Re: "My Thai Bride" film:

23 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

I managed to watch online for free a few years ago, but the owner seems to have it available on download for a price ... a small charge if my memory serves me right. I think it's on Vevo? Cringeworthy at times, but in the end I did feel sorry for the deluded Ted. 

 

A salutary tale and a valuable lesson to all expats who land in Thailand looking for love!

Simple to avoid this film's ending.  This may not apply to the OP - but for anyone else lurking who is just setting foot in these waters:

 

Don't spend what you cannot afford to lose.  Don't try this without a stable, external income source.  Get the legal-bit on the house so that you can live there for life, even though you will never own the land - though without any savings / income, you would still be out of luck.  You would have no problem finding another gal to share the house with you if the 1st left, though if you have steady income, unlikely you will need another gal, because the 1st will want to remain.

 

Keep in mind that, in general, a woman's sense of emotional-security is primarily to her family.  A man's emotional-security is to our women.  Physical security is what we can provide, hence remaining "useful" in the financial sense is key.  This is not diabolical - just biology and gene-survival / evolution at work.  For tens of thousands of years, "social climbing" for a woman meant, "My babies get to eat and survive."  Wit, charm, and good looks are nice "pluses" to add, but not the primary driver to whether a woman "feels love and security" in a man's arms. 

 

Once a man understands this, the fact that many Thai ladies cannot fathom "savings for retirement" becomes an asset in the relationship - not a drawback - as it is the primary leverage a man has.  She may still be frugal, because she doesn't want to "break" something that is working - but be prepared for a lack of financial-management skills.  Keep your financial house in order and the odds are with you. 

 

This perspective does not preclude "feelings of love" for either partner, which are themselves driven by satisfying biological driving-factors.  Her need and adoration drive you.  Your stability drives her. 

 

Culture/Religion can constrain action on these drives, but there are still there, under the surface.  Take away the Culture/Religion bond (cross-cultural relationships), and they can be much closer to the surface.  Some call such relationships "shallow" - when they could be described, instead, as "less submerged in cultural hype and conditioning." 

 

The primary exception that breaks this formula is usually drug/alcohol related - as these can make humans into something no longer human / rational - rational in the human-biological / self-preservation sense.  Mix that in and all bets are off.  If you drink without being self-destructive, you don't have this problem - better hope she doesn't either.  Gambling and other psychological-problems can mimic, in brain-chemistry, drug/alcohol addictions - less common, but can be present.

 

The only part of these rules which are particular to Thailand is the fact that, as a foreigner, you cannot own land (downside), and many women are not "financially-independent" (upside).  The rest is the same anywhere. 

 

May God help you (and your kids, if you have any), if you are with a financially-independent, non-religious woman who thinks her kids "don't need a dad around."  The "wit and charm" will get old, eventually.

[JoeBloe]

54 minutes ago, Naam said:

7 relationships in 7 countries? you wicked fellow! 

!= means NOT EQUAL TO

[smotherb]

1 minute ago, JackThompson said:

Re: "My Thai Bride" film:

Simple to avoid this film's ending.  This may not apply to the OP - but for anyone else lurking who is just setting foot in these waters:

 

Don't spend what you cannot afford to lose.  Don't try this without a stable, external income source.  Get the legal-bit on the house so that you can live there for life, even though you will never own the land - though without any savings / income, you would still be out of luck.  You would have no problem finding another gal to share the house with you if the 1st left, though if you have steady income, unlikely you will need another gal, because the 1st will want to remain.

 

Keep in mind that, in general, a woman's sense of emotional-security is primarily to her family.  A man's emotional-security is to our women.  Physical security is what we can provide, hence remaining "useful" in the financial sense is key.  This is not diabolical - just biology and gene-survival / evolution at work.  For tens of thousands of years, "social climbing" for a woman meant, "My babies get to eat and survive."  Wit, charm, and good looks are nice "pluses" to add, but not the primary driver to whether a woman "feels love and security" in a man's arms. 

 

Once a man understands this, the fact that many Thai ladies cannot fathom "savings for retirement" becomes an asset in the relationship - not a drawback - as it is the primary leverage a man has.  She may still be frugal, because she doesn't want to "break" something that is working - but be prepared for a lack of financial-management skills.  Keep your financial house in order and the odds are with you. 

 

This perspective does not preclude "feelings of love" for either partner, which are themselves driven by satisfying biological driving-factors.  Her need and adoration drive you.  Your stability drives her. 

 

Culture/Religion can constrain action on these drives, but there are still there, under the surface.  Take away the Culture/Religion bond (cross-cultural relationships), and they can be much closer to the surface.  Some call such relationships "shallow" - when they could be described, instead, as "less submerged in cultural hype and conditioning." 

 

The primary exception that breaks this formula is usually drug/alcohol related - as these can make humans into something no longer human / rational - rational in the human-biological / self-preservation sense.  Mix that in and all bets are off.  If you drink without being self-destructive, you don't have this problem - better hope she doesn't either.  Gambling and other psychological-problems can mimic, in brain-chemistry, drug/alcohol addictions - less common, but can be present.

 

The only part of these rules which are particular to Thailand is the fact that, as a foreigner, you cannot own land (downside), and many women are not "financially-independent" (upside).  The rest is the same anywhere. 

 

May God help you (and your kids, if you have any), if you are with a financially-independent, non-religious woman who thinks her kids "don't need a dad around."  The "wit and charm" will get old, eventually.

I would not want a financially dependent religious woman. Ain't that great, if we all wanted the same thing, there would be one hell of a line.

[sandrabbit]

4 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

!= means NOT EQUAL TO

I think he was taking the piss out of you, you are going to be a victim in this country .......

[Naam]

11 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

!= means NOT EQUAL TO

there are two ways for that mathematical sign

-the Anglo version is ≠

-the continental European version is <>

 

Edited January 28, 2017 by Naam

[JoeBloe]

5 minutes ago, sandrabbit said:

I think he was taking the piss out of you, you are going to be a victim in this country .......

He might also have been mathematically challenged. Hard to tell at a distance ...

[JoeBloe]

3 minutes ago, Naam said:

there are two ways for that mathematical sign

-the Anglo version is ≠

-the continental European version is <>

≠

Well, I tend to use the syntax of the language du jour (C) and besides, it's easier to type on my keyboard

[Scott]

One post and reply have been removed.   Please stay on topic.  

 

[Naam]

4 hours ago, MichaelBates said:

He might also have been mathematically challenged. Hard to tell at a distance ...

your ideas about the maths capabilities of a former physicist seem to be as poor as your ideas how much to pay a live-in girlfriend 

[JoeBloe]

2 minutes ago, Naam said:

your ideas about the maths capabilities of a former physicist seem to be as poor as your ideas how much to pay a live-in girlfriend 

/= or .NE. more your era?

[Naam]

4 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

/= or .NE. more your era?

neither nor as maths does not accept substitutes. those who don't know how to generate ≠ should use the internationally accepted <>. case closed, witnesses are excused, defendant pays all court cost, bailiff to check his wallet

[JoeBloe]

1 minute ago, Naam said:

neither nor as maths does not accept substitutes. those who don't know how to generate ≠ should use the internationally accepted <>. case closed, witnesses are excused, defendant pays all court cost, bailiff to check his wallet

• An engineer thinks that equations are an approximation to reality.
• A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to equations.
• A mathematician doesn't care.

 

 

[Get Real]

7 hours ago, MichaelBates said:

The ad hominem approach was begun by you, mine was a measured response.

That just doesn´t matter. If you still don´t understand it, I will give you plain text. Your question is stupid for coming from a grown up man with the expriance of many countries and relationships.
Also a very measured response after a long discussion where you just don´t get it.

I actually tried to answer you too, but got no reaction on that. Didn´t you want an answer?

[Get Real]

31 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

• An engineer thinks that equations are an approximation to reality.
• A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to equations.
• A mathematician doesn't care.

 

 

As many replies as you already got regarding the stupidity of asking a question like you have done, you would have got it now. Why just continue. Do you like comedies too much?

[williet98248]

14 hours ago, 473geo said:

 I gave her 14K a month - or still giving?

Gave.  She got bored taking care of me, especially since I can and do take care of myself.  She was always looking for something to keep her busy.  In November 2015 she moved back to her farm which had been fallow for years.  In one year she took it from zero income to 350 to 900 baht a day.  In another year or so she should be making 40-60,000 plus a month.  I have commitments and friends in Phuket and am quite bored on the farm.  I helped her out with small amounts of cash but I don't support her anymore.  Her plan is that I will eventually move to the farm.  My plan is to have a massive heart attack and be dead before I hit the ground rather than move to the farm and die of boredom.