BambinA Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 (edited) That's easy, you'd choose A if all other things are equal. But they rarely are. yes ,i know P' meadish Talking as a scientist ...when you want to do an experiment ,you have to control the variable ..as everything looks equal ..but make a clue with something you want to know however... the example i have put is not about "love" (mr. A -B ) I was talking about money Edited December 13, 2006 by BambinA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Not all women want money Donz. Not all of us sink that low!He didn't say all did he. 6 years ago, I flew to BKK with only my college diploma/transcripts, shoes, books and a little bit of cash. I'd have liked to seen that outfit, just shoes? GF, I have to ask why do people spend so much time analysing love these days? I know a girl, shes gone though a ton of bfs coz she wants to analyse their love all the time, in the end the guy just escapes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollergirl Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Age is only a factor if you make it one, I have never been out with anyone much older than me, thats just because I haven't met an older man who has shown an interest. That is apart from the dribbling old men that undress me with their eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GracelessFawn Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 (edited) different strokes for different folks! But what if he's so old, he can't "swim" anymore There are different ways to swim MrBojangles. For example: butterfly, free style, breast stroke, etc. I am sure that some people who can't swim can float. For example: back float, turtle float, octopus float, etc. In fact, I've seen some people who used inflated inner tubes (of a car), plastic floaters, beach balls, etc. Lastly, If all those I mentioned above won't work, why not take a boat, a canoe, a kayak, or a yacht perhaps and paddle around? I can give you a lot more examples, but I think you got the point! Edited December 13, 2006 by GracelessFawn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tropo Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 (edited) I'm curious to know how many people still believe in love, especially when we're talking about 15, 20, 25 or 30 years of age gap. I'm with a Filipina 28 years my junior (47-19). The relationship is great, we are very happy together and are inseperable however I'm concerned that it's not fair for my girl because soon I'll be old and she could very well end up spending a lot of years alone (without me) after I'm gone. I'm using up her best years, but she doesn't think like that because as you well know the Filipinos very much live for the day. For this reason I'm hesitant to marry her and thereby relegating her to young widowhood in the future. There is another problem that concerns me. A young person has hope for the future, however for a near-50 year old that hope is all but gone. I lack the vitality of a younger guy and worry that I am short-changing her. Edited December 13, 2006 by tropo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I'm curious to know how many people still believe in love, especially when we're talking about 15, 20, 25 or 30 years of age gap. I'm with a Filipina 28 years my junior (47-19). The relationship is great, we are very happy together and are inseperable however I'm concerned that it's not fair for my girl because soon I'll be old and she could very well end up spending a lot of years alone (without me) after I'm gone. I'm using up her best years, but she doesn't think like that because as you well know the Filipinos very much live for the day. For this reason I'm hesitant to marry her and thereby relegating her to young widowhood in the future. That's an interesting concern, I wonder how many other guys thought about that with young wives? Possibly another thread in the making. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiG16 Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 what tropo mentioned is exactly what I was getting at in my response earlier about people being at different stage of their lives in the same partnership...the girl will wanna have kids perhaps..but for the much older guy they are past that point....as one example.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Past that point?? Well perhaps not - prob best time raise a child, financially secure and have time on your hands if you are retired that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 gracelessfawn, You been watching too many romantic movies me thinks. And I never said all, some do generally work out. But im saying in most cases its not true love. Oh and to that other poster, my gf is 4 years older then me so some do like younger men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapetable Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 A general observation perhaps.............two schools of thought or belief here............those that have or are experiencing a relationship with a 'large' age gap and those that have not.......... Apologies to 'ourmanflint' for misreading his post........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapetable Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Mig...........old man DNA same as young man DNA.........Britmaverick is correct in my opinion......maturity, financial stability, emotional maturity etc etc are all very attractive to a woman of any age more so than the transient physical aspects and particularly with having children............. And BTW Donz 'what is TRUE LOVE'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GracelessFawn Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 (edited) - double posted. Edited December 13, 2006 by GracelessFawn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GracelessFawn Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 gracelessfawn,You been watching too many romantic movies me thinks. And I never said all, some do generally work out. But im saying in most cases its not true love. Oh and to that other poster, my gf is 4 years older then me so some do like younger men. Donz, I'm sorry for misquoting or misunderstanding you. You are right.... some relationships with age gaps do work out! And you are right again!......... there's (always) a possibility that its true love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GracelessFawn Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 People love for their own reasons; if it works what does it matter? Romantic love doesn't last for most, then respect and friendship form the basis of a good relationship. Grapetable, you are right! People do love for their own reasons and respect + friendship form the basis of a good relationship. Your gf/wife is very lucky! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapetable Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 GF...yeah she is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapetable Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 GF, the man with you should count his blessings...........and they are many indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GracelessFawn Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 GF, the man with you should count his blessings...........and they are many indeed Hahahhahaa. Thanks a lot grapetable! I will tell him what you just said! I believe that the blessings are mutual. He's really a neat guy....... very nice........ affectionate......... wonderful............ caring.......... strong........... gentle.................... etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ourmanflint Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 whatever anyone says I still think the most successful relationships are ones where the man is about 10 years older, as I think men being that more slow to mature need about 10 years to catch up to a womans " emotional maturity". On the whole, we men don't really come into our own until our 30's or grow up enough to have a stable relationship. For those that have relationships with partners 20+ years younger, I can only admire your bravery. I just couldn't do it. I think 12-15 years difference is the maximum I would feel comfortable with although for some reason whatever age I reach my Gf's stay at about age 27, the magic age!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somchai69 Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 My wife is 5 years younger than me. My lovers are much younger than that................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveDaBlues Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 How many young Thai women do you see with old broke farang guys? How many young American women do you see with old broke American guys? But......you do see young American women with old wealthy American guys; just like in Thailand where it's young Thai female with older monied farang male. In other words; it's the same all over the world. Remember this, it's just as easy for a woman to love a rich man as it is for her to love a poor man. I heard this from a woman married to a rich guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fun2Fun Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 I was once "involved" with a woman quite a bit older than me, she viewed is as love while i viewed it as just innocent fun while looking for somone right for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilHarries Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 I am 54 and my Filipina gf is 30. She says she doesn't consider me to be old. I think age difference is considered more of a problem in western cultures than asian. Asian women seem to equate age with maturity and financial stability and tailor "love" around that formula. The subject hasn't been broached in my relationship yet but she does want to accompany me to central Viet Nam when I transfer to site early next year so it's not just a quick fling she's after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapetable Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Half agree with u ourmanflint............i dont think its so easy for others to 'draw a line in the sand' as you have..........but then each to his own...... Fun2fun.............honesty is an essential part of love...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonel_Mustard Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Generally speaking, I think that the larger the age gap, the larger the wealth gap. I suspect that in most of these relationships with larger age gaps, it's more about satisfying each others needs, rather than the 'romantic love' that I assume the OP was refering to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fun2Fun Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 (edited) Half agree with u ourmanflint............i dont think its so easy for others to 'draw a line in the sand' as you have..........but then each to his own......Fun2fun.............honesty is an essential part of love...... I was honest with this woman, i never insinuated or told her i loved her, she was just living in her own fantasy world. When she finally asked me i told her "i loved her as a friend" which hit her kinda hard. So yes i was honest, not everyone is in such an situation.... Some lie straight out, some by omission and some do it by self-delusion , but in most cases the the truth will eventually come out. I suspect that in most of these relationships with larger age gaps, it's more about satisfying each others needs, rather than the 'romantic love' that I assume the OP was refering to. This seems to ring true in many cases. Edited December 14, 2006 by Fun2Fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popshirt Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Asian women seem to equate age with maturity and financial stability and tailor "love" around that formula. "........and tailor love around that formula". Exactly. This perspective flies in the face of western concepts of romantic love and Hollywood fantasies, and it may be difficult to understand. Brace yourself ...... there is a FORTY year age gap between my Thai partner and I. We have been happily coupled for a number of years, and yes, our relationship is highly intimate, both physically and emotionally. In fact, our love for each other grows deeper with the passage of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiG16 Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 i still think when the gap is 2 times that of the other partner..things become too difficult...you have less in common on all respect.. a younger woman might get some financial security from the older man, but I cant imagine a guy 60 yrs old, would want to change nappies, waking up in the middle of the night etc to look after babies and other such things and im talking in general, not specific about thailand, where maybe a limited number of retired farang might find a young wife...where either you can get nannies, or the extended family help look after the baby. but more specific..I think the different perspective, tastes and lifestyle which result from the HUGE gap makes for less of shared interest..... but thats just my opinion. I have dated somewhat older men...(8-10yrs), but have also dated younger men (5yrs..which felt huge at the time since he was 22) and yes sure different people are at varying maturity level even at the same age..and that plays a role...but when its a diff of say 30 years....your social circle and peers also add to the pressure of the relationship. can most 20something take their 60 yr old BF to a hip hop bar with a crowd of mates on a friday night? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
svenivan Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 I think this "age" thing is something that comes from the west. You can ask the same about " can a jew and a muslim be happy?" or "can a black man a nd a white woman be happy?". I think it is important in what kind of society we live. I would never think of bringing my lady to my western country because of all rasism and western thinking about age. Here in Thailand we have no problem with that. I have more than 20 friends here married to Thai women and agegap between 5 to 30 years. And I can see that how happy they are (seem to be) has nothing to do with the agegap. It is more how they can understand each other and the different background in culture and religion. (And of course, trust and respect!!!) And age what is that? I see and have seen most of my life young guys 25-30 overweighted, rude and having no respect for anything. Biggest interest is drinking beer with their friends in a bar watching football. And then I seen older guys, 55-65, taking care of themselves in every way, nice looking and knows how to behave in every situation. They are interested in culture, travel and still curious about life. And of course you see stupid, fat old men and nice, smart young guys. (And the young, stupid overweighted guys will one day be old, stupid and fat men). But it has nothing to do with age. And the same with women. Some wants to party with friends 3-4 times a week and others are more interested in working, studying, culture or whatever. And still, it has nothing to do with age. And if you combine people with same interest in life the chance for them to have a happy relationship is bigger. Trust and respect is basic foundation. That is what I think and I am one of the happy older guys with a much younger lady. We have been living together 2 years now and our relation is getting stronger and stronger for every day. And it has been love from both sides from first day. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang prince Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Well Graceless i am 36 and my gorgeous wife is 22 so i think we are bordering on your age criteria.To be honest age has NOTHING to do with a relationship as far as im concerned and i think my happy marriage would go a long way into supporting my argument. I believe in love. I don't think age is an issue at all! I don't care about the age gap, as long as I make my partner happy and I am happy, if we are both sincere, respect each other, honest, willing to compromise, willing to make it work, then it's perfect. That's all that really matters! Fawn, the truth is that age is only a number. Some people who are 50 are truly 30 in their hearts. They have high energy, curious minds and a love of life. Some people who are 30 are really 50 or 60. I'm 30 years older than my ladyboy and we have had a wonderful relationship for many years. I wouldn't want anyone else in my life. The key to our relationship is our mutual interests, our sincere love and respect for each other, and a joy of exploring the challenges of each new day, whether we are in Thailand or other parts of the world. If you truly care for your partner and want to make each day joyous and meaningful for them, then age makes absolutely no difference. But what is in your heart, will always make a difference.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonel_Mustard Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 (edited) And it has been love from both sides from first day. :D No disrespect but we must have different ideas of what love is then. I certainly don't believe that you can feel it from the first day. I'm also not at all sure about age being only a Western issue. I have spent a lot of time in Thailand and must admit that I don't know one Thai couple that has an age gap over 10 years. I'm not saying that they don't exist but I don't think these relationships are much more common in Thailand than in the West. However, I do know a lot of Western men with Thai women where there is a large age gap. I keep hearing that Thai women don't care about age but still I don't see them in 'love based' relationships with much older Thai men. Why is that? Perhaps it's a little white lie told to make the Western guy feel better about what he's getting into. Maybe many of these relationships turn into love of sorts but I would bet that the vast majority didn't start that way. Edited December 14, 2006 by Colonel_Mustard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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