Age Gaps In Relationships

[Gary A]

I was accused by a western woman of being a pedophile. Why? Because my wife takes care of herself and is small and petite. I was told that I couldn't handle a REAL woman. My wife is 39 years old, weighs 100 pounds and has weighed the same ever since I have known her.

[ourmanflint]

Yeah what would I know, I'm just a lowly psychologist.

Funny though that many of the reference books I have don't back up your point of view, I'd better write to the authors, they are obviously wrong.

You defend my use of the word "child" which is simply a matter of opinion, yet don't dispute the clinical definition.

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with Tropo... VanZam you are way out of line, and any *sshole can be a psychologist, it is the lowest of the low of the sciences, if it is even a science... don't make me laugh and don't throw around your crappy credentials, I know a few psychologists and they are all quite certain it's 90% b*llocks!!

Edited December 15, 2006 by ourmanflint

[PhilHarries]

What a difference a day can make. If in the case she was turning 20 tomorrow, I'd be classified as mentally ill (a pedophile) today by VanZam, and normal tomorrow.

This is the very reason I would never visit a psychiatrist; they are too confused to be of any benefit.

Exactly tropo, anybody who goes to see a psychiatrist need to have their head examined. (I think it was Groucho Marx who said that but don't quote me on it)

[Ulysses G.]

Yeah what would I know, I'm just a lowly psychologist.

Funny though that many of the reference books I have don't back up your point of view, I'd better write to the authors, they are obviously wrong.

You defend my use of the word "child" which is simply a matter of opinion, yet don't dispute the clinical definition.

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with Tropo... VanZam you are way out of line, and any *sshole can be a psychologist, it is the lowest of the low of the sciences, if it is even a science... don't make me laugh and don't throw around your crappy credentials, I know a few psychologists and they are all quite certain it's 90% b*llocks!!

If he were a psychologist, he wouldn't be making up fake definitions for mental conditions.

Maybe a BS Artist would be a better job description?

[a2396]

So why is it that these large age gaps aren't so prevalent in relationships between people of the same culture? It seems clear to me that the initial foundation for the majority of relationships where there are large age gaps is something other than love. Of course love may blossom from such beginnings but I suspect that feelings of 'romantic love' are much more likely from the older partner.

Unfortunately we are unlikely to get the views of many of the younger partners of these relationships.

Well, I'm a younger partner/gf/lover..............

First, I just wanna say that I will never be in a relationship if I don't have any feelings towards my partner/bf/lover. If I don't love HIM, I wouldn't be in a relationship with him. Love is very important to me.

My fellow brothers and sisters.... the world is so simple! Love is all around us and it comes in different packages.

To each their own!

Love in an unbalanced relationship, is much like a dog chasing its own tail.

It can be both fun and excilerating while it lasts, but ultimately it leads nowhere.

Usually to be followed by the same dance again and again.

What is an unbalanced relationship pray tell?

[Colonel_Mustard]

So why is it that these large age gaps aren't so prevalent in relationships between people of the same culture? It seems clear to me that the initial foundation for the majority of relationships where there are large age gaps is something other than love. Of course love may blossom from such beginnings but I suspect that feelings of 'romantic love' are much more likely from the older partner.

Unfortunately we are unlikely to get the views of many of the younger partners of these relationships.

Well, I'm a younger partner/gf/lover..............

First, I just wanna say that I will never be in a relationship if I don't have any feelings towards my partner/bf/lover. If I don't love HIM, I wouldn't be in a relationship with him. Love is very important to me.

My fellow brothers and sisters.... the world is so simple! Love is all around us and it comes in different packages.

To each their own!

Love in an unbalanced relationship, is much like a dog chasing its own tail.

It can be both fun and excilerating while it lasts, but ultimately it leads nowhere.

Usually to be followed by the same dance again and again.

What is an unbalanced relationship pray tell?

Maybe one with a beautiful but poor girl in her twenties and a rather unattractive but wealthy guy in his sixties?

[Neeranam]

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with VanDam here.

I've known older guys(in the 30/40s) marry girls in their teens. Disaster for the girl in every one.

A 19 year old Thai girl is like a 14 year old in my country.

There are a few Thai guys with their 'mia dek' but that doesn't make it right. Good song - 'mia dek' by pongsak Songsaen, but if yo listen to the words it's pretty sick.

It's not right for me to judge the 50 year old farang with the 18 year old Thai girl, but I can't help wanting to vomit at the sight. The guy is not looking for a relationship - he's a pervert. On the other hand I've know 70 year olds with 40 year olds and that's fine. A 40 year old Thai woman is like a 60 year old in my country.

Childhood is precious - leave the kids alone!

Edited December 15, 2006 by Neeranam

[Jared]

My opinion is that if the girl you are with is young enough to be your daughter then your a pervert but only if the girl is a teen or early 20's. I would say being 60 and having a 45 year old gf would be acceptable, so i guess it depends on both your ages. And if you found your girlfriend from a bar in Pattaya thn your definately a pervert because shes only with you for money and stability and to give her family a better life.

There are plenty of well eduacted beauties in Thailand and they wouldnt be interested in an old man. These are my opinions, im 24 and married to a well educated thai girl. Maybe when im 50 I would still be interested in younger women and I would consider myself a pervert.

Ive seen and know plenty of young Thai, old falang relationships. I have wto friends 40+ and I was with them when they both meet the wifes in Pattaya, the girls were younger than I am, one couldnt even speak English and both my mates a ugly fookers who have probable never had a relationship in the UK. Eitherway they ended up married within the month and there is know way these wome love these men. They just want security. My uncle also has a Thai wife half his age and he is a pervert and admits it. Also found out my dad, who i do not know is with a filipino women younger than me, Pervert!

Just to point out in my books theres nothing wrong with being a pervert

[Jared]

A 19 year old Thai girl is like a 14 year old in my country.

Definately have to agree with that

[terry57]

So why is it that these large age gaps aren't so prevalent in relationships between people of the same culture? It seems clear to me that the initial foundation for the majority of relationships where there are large age gaps is something other than love. Of course love may blossom from such beginnings but I suspect that feelings of 'romantic love' are much more likely from the older partner.

Unfortunately we are unlikely to get the views of many of the younger partners of these relationships.

Well, I'm a younger partner/gf/lover..............

First, I just wanna say that I will never be in a relationship if I don't have any feelings towards my partner/bf/lover. If I don't love HIM, I wouldn't be in a relationship with him. Love is very important to me.

My fellow brothers and sisters.... the world is so simple! Love is all around us and it comes in different packages.

To each their own!

miss graceful fawn,

you are a very nice girl with the right intentions and will make someone a very good partner with the way you think.

the thing is you are a bit young and have not been down the very long and winding road of love and long term relationships.

i have been done that road and quite a few other posters would of been as well and we mostly all started out with the love intention happenning.

trouble is, we live for a long time and sometimes love dies and our long term relationship hits big trouble.

its just life and we cant do much about it as we do change our way of thinking as we age and experience different things.

i suppose what in trying to say is that we all would love to be in love but sometimes that takes time to grow and we need to start somewhere.

i think another poster hit the nail on the head when he said forget marrage until you are in your forties and just concentate on enjoying your partner as marrage is not the magic key to life.

in fact it is sometimes the killer.

if i was you id just keep on partying and loving your life whilst you are young and attractive as you have all the time in the world to do the love thing.

any way what do i know?

all i know is that im 49 years old and still feel like im to young to get married as im still having fun.

cheers miss fawn,

terry

[Fun2Fun]

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with VanDam here.

I've known older guys(in the 30/40s) marry girls in their teens. Disaster for the girl in every one.

A 19 year old Thai girl is like a 14 year old in my country.

There are a few Thai guys with their 'mia dek' but that doesn't make it right. Good song - 'mia dek' by pongsak Songsaen, but if yo listen to the words it's pretty sick.

It's not right for me to judge the 50 year old farang with the 18 year old Thai girl, but I can't help wanting to vomit at the sight. The guy is not looking for a relationship - he's a pervert. On the other hand I've know 70 year olds with 40 year olds and that's fine. A 40 year old Thai woman is like a 60 year old in my country.

Childhood is precious - leave the kids alone!

On the other hand, maybe its better that she have only one "customer" , than having to have many different ones to support herself and her familly.

Edited December 15, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[Gary A]

A friend of mine has a Thai wife who is 30 years younger than he is. He asked me if I thought she was too young for him. I explained to him that a Thai woman 51 years old has nearly NO chance of finding a Thai husband nor a farang husband for that matter. If you did your addition, yes, he is 81 years old. His wife takes great care of him and they have been officially married for about six months now. I hope it continues to go well for them. I have every reason to expect that they will continue to be VERY happy.

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2006-12-15 12:33:36)

QUOTE

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with VanDam here.

I've known older guys(in the 30/40s) marry girls in their teens. Disaster for the girl in every one.

A 19 year old Thai girl is like a 14 year old in my country.

There are a few Thai guys with their 'mia dek' but that doesn't make it right. Good song - 'mia dek' by pongsak Songsaen, but if yo listen to the words it's pretty sick.

It's not right for me to judge the 50 year old farang with the 18 year old Thai girl, but I can't help wanting to vomit at the sight. The guy is not looking for a relationship - he's a pervert. On the other hand I've know 70 year olds with 40 year olds and that's fine. A 40 year old Thai woman is like a 60 year old in my country.

Childhood is precious - leave the kids alone!

On the other hand, maybe its better that she have only one "customer" , than having to have many different ones to support herself and her familly.

If she's a prostitute then it's different. It a business transaction - he's a perverted whoremonger.

[VanZam]

I have to agree with Tropo... VanZam you are way out of line, and any *sshole can be a psychologist, it is the lowest of the low of the sciences, if it is even a science... don't make me laugh and don't throw around your crappy credentials, I know a few psychologists and they are all quite certain it's 90% b*llocks!!

You know psychologists who openly condemn their own profession? I find that hard to believe. Your uneducated rant is exactly what I'd expect given the points in your previous posts.

What exactly do you do? English teacher?

If he were a psychologist, he wouldn't be making up fake definitions for mental conditions.

Maybe a BS Artist would be a better job description?

Fake definitions? I'd suggest you actually look them up before trying to prove me wrong. Just becasue you don't agree with me does not make you correct by defualt.

Here's one I prepared earlier.

Edited December 15, 2006 by VanZam

[Fun2Fun]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2006-12-15 12:33:36)

QUOTE

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with VanDam here.

I've known older guys(in the 30/40s) marry girls in their teens. Disaster for the girl in every one.

A 19 year old Thai girl is like a 14 year old in my country.

There are a few Thai guys with their 'mia dek' but that doesn't make it right. Good song - 'mia dek' by pongsak Songsaen, but if yo listen to the words it's pretty sick.

It's not right for me to judge the 50 year old farang with the 18 year old Thai girl, but I can't help wanting to vomit at the sight. The guy is not looking for a relationship - he's a pervert. On the other hand I've know 70 year olds with 40 year olds and that's fine. A 40 year old Thai woman is like a 60 year old in my country.

Childhood is precious - leave the kids alone!

On the other hand, maybe its better that she have only one "customer" , than having to have many different ones to support herself and her familly.

If she's a prostitute then it's different. It a business transaction - he's a perverted whoremonger.

Quite a few of the large age gaps "relationships" can actually also be viewed as long term business contracts

[bluedragon]

Age does make a difference, but only to those that care about it.

Regards, BD

[Fun2Fun]

Large age gaps marriage between foreigners and girls from a disadvantaged economic situation in countries like Vietnam, Thailand, Phillipines and China are quite common.

A quote which might help understand the girls view of the situation.

Dao Mai was 21 years old when her mother’s business in Vietnam failed, and the family was suddenly plunged into debt. So Mai, the youngest in the family, did what she felt a dutiful daughter should do: She went into the city and signed up with a marriage broker.

Mai was eventually “picked” by a 66-year-old Taiwanese man who came to Vietnam, like thousands of others before him, to find a bride.

Edited December 15, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[tropo]

My opinion is that if the girl you are with is young enough to be your daughter then your a pervert but only if the girl is a teen or early 20's. I would say being 60 and having a 45 year old gf would be acceptable, so i guess it depends on both your ages. And if you found your girlfriend from a bar in Pattaya thn your definately a pervert because shes only with you for money and stability and to give her family a better life.

There are plenty of well eduacted beauties in Thailand and they wouldnt be interested in an old man. These are my opinions, im 24 and married to a well educated thai girl. Maybe when im 50 I would still be interested in younger women and I would consider myself a pervert.

Ive seen and know plenty of young Thai, old falang relationships. I have wto friends 40+ and I was with them when they both meet the wifes in Pattaya, the girls were younger than I am, one couldnt even speak English and both my mates a ugly fookers who have probable never had a relationship in the UK. Eitherway they ended up married within the month and there is know way these wome love these men. They just want security. My uncle also has a Thai wife half his age and he is a pervert and admits it. Also found out my dad, who i do not know is with a filipino women younger than me, Pervert!

Just to point out in my books theres nothing wrong with being a pervert

You're a baby right now, but in 30 years you'll wish you'd waited before you jumped in and married so young. Let's hope your beautiful well educated Thai girl ages well.

[tropo]

Large age gaps marriage between foreigners and girls from a disadvantaged economic situation in countries like Vietnam, Thailand, Phillipines and China are quite common.

A quote which might help understand the girls view of the situation.

Dao Mai was 21 years old when her mother’s business in Vietnam failed, and the family was suddenly plunged into debt. So Mai, the youngest in the family, did what she felt a dutiful daughter should do: She went into the city and signed up with a marriage broker.

Mai was eventually “picked” by a 66-year-old Taiwanese man who came to Vietnam, like thousands of others before him, to find a bride.

Thanks for that story. It's great that a 66 year old man can have a second shot at youth. He's a lucky guy.

[Fun2Fun]

Thanks for that story. It's great that a 66 year old man can have a second shot at youth. He's a lucky guy.

Maybe lucky guy, but no so for the girl.

Of the thousands of dollars that exchanged hands between the man and the Vietnamese broker, Mai’s family only got US$133. Mai hoped she could find work once she got to Taiwan and send money home to help her parents and siblings.

Mai arrived in Taiwan in June 2004. Immediately after her arrival, she was locked up in the bedroom. Her husband then kept her naked, forbidding her from wearing any clothes during her entire incarceration. As he took his regular dose of Viagra, he forced himself upon her, starving her until she gave in to his demands. Sometimes he beat her when she resisted his advances. On the ninth and 10th days of captivity, Mai’s husband beat her so constantly and so severely, she finally ran away.

Edited December 15, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[PhilHarries]

Quite a few of the large age gaps "relationships" can actually also be viewed as long term business contracts

Marriage itself could be viewed as a long term business contract. After mumbling the words for the mystik man you sign the contract. If the contract is subsequently terminated commercial terms and conditions have to be negotiated and applied.

Kerching!

[tropo]

Maybe lucky guy, but no so for the girl.

Of the thousands of dollars that exchanged hands between the man and the Vietnamese broker, Mai’s family only got US$133. Mai hoped she could find work once she got to Taiwan and send money home to help her parents and siblings.

Mai arrived in Taiwan in June 2004. Immediately after her arrival, she was locked up in the bedroom. Her husband then kept her naked, forbidding her from wearing any clothes during her entire incarceration. As he took his regular dose of Viagra, he forced himself upon her, starving her until she gave in to his demands. Sometimes he beat her when she resisted his advances. On the ninth and 10th days of captivity, Mai’s husband beat her so constantly and so severely, she finally ran away.

If that story is true, then of course she is not lucky but anyone could make up a sensationalist story like that. There are plenty of similar age marriages turned nightmares too.

In most cases a 21 year old married a 66 year old guy would do very well, especially if she gained residence in a Western country. When he's gone, she's probably still going to be young enough for a replacement too...with an inheritance.

[terry57]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2006-12-15 12:33:36)

QUOTE

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with VanDam here.

I've known older guys(in the 30/40s) marry girls in their teens. Disaster for the girl in every one.

A 19 year old Thai girl is like a 14 year old in my country.

There are a few Thai guys with their 'mia dek' but that doesn't make it right. Good song - 'mia dek' by pongsak Songsaen, but if yo listen to the words it's pretty sick.

It's not right for me to judge the 50 year old farang with the 18 year old Thai girl, but I can't help wanting to vomit at the sight. The guy is not looking for a relationship - he's a pervert. On the other hand I've know 70 year olds with 40 year olds and that's fine. A 40 year old Thai woman is like a 60 year old in my country.

Childhood is precious - leave the kids alone!

On the other hand, maybe its better that she have only one "customer" , than having to have many different ones to support herself and her familly.

If she's a prostitute then it's different. It a business transaction - he's a perverted whoremonger.

Quite a few of the large age gaps "relationships" can actually also be viewed as long term business contracts

thats a very good point you raise there mate and also makes very good sense.

because of the economic situation here with many women having nothing and the older farang all cashed up, well why cant we just accept that a lot of these relationship are just that.

"business contracts"

i cant see anything wrong with that at all and as a matter of fact many work much better than trying to pretend its love.

theres a heap of guys i know back in aussie who would love to get out of there long term" business contract " but cant afford it.

[DFCarlson]

Thanks for that story. It's great that a 66 year old man can have a second shot at youth. He's a lucky guy.

Maybe lucky guy, but no so for the girl.

Of the thousands of dollars that exchanged hands between the man and the Vietnamese broker, Mai’s family only got US$133. Mai hoped she could find work once she got to Taiwan and send money home to help her parents and siblings.

Mai arrived in Taiwan in June 2004. Immediately after her arrival, she was locked up in the bedroom. Her husband then kept her naked, forbidding her from wearing any clothes during her entire incarceration. As he took his regular dose of Viagra, he forced himself upon her, starving her until she gave in to his demands. Sometimes he beat her when she resisted his advances. On the ninth and 10th days of captivity, Mai’s husband beat her so constantly and so severely, she finally ran away.

Now here's an example of a guy who is a REAL pervert!

[terry57]

Quite a few of the large age gaps "relationships" can actually also be viewed as long term business contracts

Marriage itself could be viewed as a long term business contract. After mumbling the words for the mystik man you sign the contract. If the contract is subsequently terminated commercial terms and conditions have to be negotiated and applied.

Kerching!

and it costs a <deleted> load more in the west to terminate the contract.

[Jared]

My opinion is that if the girl you are with is young enough to be your daughter then your a pervert but only if the girl is a teen or early 20's. I would say being 60 and having a 45 year old gf would be acceptable, so i guess it depends on both your ages. And if you found your girlfriend from a bar in Pattaya thn your definately a pervert because shes only with you for money and stability and to give her family a better life.

There are plenty of well eduacted beauties in Thailand and they wouldnt be interested in an old man. These are my opinions, im 24 and married to a well educated thai girl. Maybe when im 50 I would still be interested in younger women and I would consider myself a pervert.

Ive seen and know plenty of young Thai, old falang relationships. I have wto friends 40+ and I was with them when they both meet the wifes in Pattaya, the girls were younger than I am, one couldnt even speak English and both my mates a ugly fookers who have probable never had a relationship in the UK. Eitherway they ended up married within the month and there is know way these wome love these men. They just want security. My uncle also has a Thai wife half his age and he is a pervert and admits it. Also found out my dad, who i do not know is with a filipino women younger than me, Pervert!

Just to point out in my books theres nothing wrong with being a pervert

You're a baby right now, but in 30 years you'll wish you'd waited before you jumped in and married so young. Let's hope your beautiful well educated Thai girl ages well.

Maybe I'm a baby compared to you and most of the old boys who do marry girls half there age but there are plenty of young men who are married here in Thailand. Well have to wait and see how it works out in 30 years time but one thing is for sure im never going to regret having my baby boy and ill never regret marrying my wife for the simple fact that it gives my son his British Nationality and will make things easier for him in the future. If it doesnt work out divorce is hardly a complicated matter over here. Then ill look for a new partner what ever part fo the world she may come from. As for ageing, shes 26 years old now and doesnt look a day over 18. Thai women dont age like western women, I know plenty of 46 year old women who are beautifull. Some 30 year olds over here look in there teens.

[GracelessFawn]

miss graceful fawn,

you are a very nice girl with the right intentions and will make someone a very good partner with the way you think.

the thing is you are a bit young and have not been down the very long and winding road of love and long term relationships.

i have been done that road and quite a few other posters would of been as well and we mostly all started out with the love intention happenning.

trouble is, we live for a long time and sometimes love dies and our long term relationship hits big trouble.

its just life and we cant do much about it as we do change our way of thinking as we age and experience different things.

i suppose what in trying to say is that we all would love to be in love but sometimes that takes time to grow and we need to start somewhere.

i think another poster hit the nail on the head when he said forget marrage until you are in your forties and just concentate on enjoying your partner as marrage is not the magic key to life.

in fact it is sometimes the killer.

if i was you id just keep on partying and loving your life whilst you are young and attractive as you have all the time in the world to do the love thing.

any way what do i know?

all i know is that im 49 years old and still feel like im to young to get married as im still having fun.

cheers miss fawn,

terry

Thanks for posting mate............

Only people who know me better know where I've been really.

People say that with experience comes maturity. If that were true, I would have been 50 by now! Sometimes, I feel so old............ (even if I'm only 25.)

About marriage............. I don't believe in it, but I do believe in love, relationships and long-term commitments.

Cheers.

GracelessFawn

PS - I'm not discounting the idea of marriage, but if ever I get married....... it will be with someone very very special.

Edited December 15, 2006 by GracelessFawn

[adjan jb]

I predict this thread is going to get nasty soon

[terry57]

My opinion is that if the girl you are with is young enough to be your daughter then your a pervert but only if the girl is a teen or early 20's. I would say being 60 and having a 45 year old gf would be acceptable, so i guess it depends on both your ages. And if you found your girlfriend from a bar in Pattaya thn your definately a pervert because shes only with you for money and stability and to give her family a better life.

There are plenty of well eduacted beauties in Thailand and they wouldnt be interested in an old man. These are my opinions, im 24 and married to a well educated thai girl. Maybe when im 50 I would still be interested in younger women and I would consider myself a pervert.

Ive seen and know plenty of young Thai, old falang relationships. I have wto friends 40+ and I was with them when they both meet the wifes in Pattaya, the girls were younger than I am, one couldnt even speak English and both my mates a ugly fookers who have probable never had a relationship in the UK. Eitherway they ended up married within the month and there is know way these wome love these men. They just want security. My uncle also has a Thai wife half his age and he is a pervert and admits it. Also found out my dad, who i do not know is with a filipino women younger than me, Pervert!

Just to point out in my books theres nothing wrong with being a pervert

You're a baby right now, but in 30 years you'll wish you'd waited before you jumped in and married so young. Let's hope your beautiful well educated Thai girl ages well.

Maybe I'm a baby compared to you and most of the old boys who do marry girls half there age but there are plenty of young men who are married here in Thailand. Well have to wait and see how it works out in 30 years time but one thing is for sure im never going to regret having my baby boy and ill never regret marrying my wife for the simple fact that it gives my son his British Nationality and will make things easier for him in the future. If it doesnt work out divorce is hardly a complicated matter over here. Then ill look for a new partner what ever part fo the world she may come from. As for ageing, shes 26 years old now and doesnt look a day over 18. Thai women dont age like western women, I know plenty of 46 year old women who are beautifull. Some 30 year olds over here look in there teens.

for a young bloke you raise some cracking points mate and your logic seems to come from personnal experience. especially the last 6 lines of your post.

more power to you, your thai wife and baby.

cheers

PS. this is a very touchy thread and some punters just hate to hear a few home truths.

[adjan jb]

Am I an exception ? My Thai GF is a few years older than me.