Ah so I have landed and retired in LOS. For the most part I am happy and enjoying life. However, I may have a problem and would like some advice from you folks as to whether it is or not.

 

So my wife is good about cooking and taking care of things and all I have to do is pay the bills and relax. She doesn't spend excessively and as I said above life is pretty good. However our home (hers really even though I paid for it) is next to her parents home. Her parents are nice enough and we rarely have an issue but her dad raises chickens and instead of putting the chicken coups behind his house, he put them behind mine. Now it has been like this for quite some time and though I have asked my wife several times about it she says it's just that her dad isn't so smart (and by appearances he isn't) and that's just the way it worked out. So the other day I go out to the shop building on our property and of course there is chicken shit all over everything. So in order to weld up what I want to weld I have to first scrub the chicken shit off it! For <deleted> sake a bird even took a dump in my welding helmet. 

 

So my question is am I missing something here?

 

Cause it seems like they are sticking the noisy, shitting, stinking, <deleted> birds behind my house cause they don't want them behind theirs.

 

Thanks in advance for any advice given and feel free to yuck it up as well cause honestly I never thought the reason I would consider leaving my wife would wind up being a flock of <deleted> chickens.

 

Retired in Thailand.

Funniest thread I've read in a long time... 

 

I'll move it to the Expat Life forum where you're likely to get some more replies/suggestions.

 

/Moved.

 

Chickens equals food.

Welcome to the food chain.

We come slightly last. 

Grin and bare it.

Welcome to Thailand. This is the first indication of the lack of common courtesy Thai people have. Things aren't bound to get better in this regard. they haven't burned their plastic garbage under your bedroom window yet?

OP,  why don't you start raising some geese and put them behind his house?

I think the message would come through pretty quickly.

 

Something less drastic would be to talk with your wife about how her dad makes you lose face.

 

Then you might also tell your wife that you have to spend a part of the household money on hiring someone from the village to clean up the chicken shit every day because you don't like to live in shit.

Every day will be quite costly, so this will be a problem for her.

 

Another thing Thais sometimes do when they don't know a way out is to talk to one of the senior monks at the wat about it.

Answer to your problem, go and buy some bamboo coops, only cost 200 or so baht.

Let him see that you are doing this, bit of rice husk on the floor inside the coops, sh.t then is no problem.

Are you and your wife/family able to converse fluently in any one language? 

You need to do something as gai ban breed like bloody rabbits. My missus started with 6 and within 6 months we had 80 of the things running round, crapping all over the place and wrecking the veg plots.

 

Got rid of them all but she likes her chickens so we built a shed and she now has 200 gai kai and selling eggs daily. Nice hobby and they're all locked up, no mess and profir after feed is around 100thb per day.

 

Why not suggest to Dad getting rid of gai ban for gai kai? Or just lock the bloody things up.

I reckon the chickens need a nice warm bath. Put them in a big bath with some red wine a few selected vegetables and local herbs etc. They prefer having this kind of bath without their feathers on by the way.

With no disrespect, why would you have your home immediately adjacent your in-laws? No privacy, and chicken problems!

Chickens are the animal words Islamic state, they are evil. For many years I would run around cursing the fockers after they had sh!it all over every thing, in the end at grate expense and a lot of hard work I built a wall around our home. The only access points are 2 gates with wire to prevent entry, now we have no sh!it.

 

Some people like chickens, they are nice when dead. I have studied them and found them to be evil, they rape and attack each other from dawn till dusk only stopping to eat and sh!t.

Nah..

 

It is quite useless to talk to your wife and waiting for the penny to drop with your in-laws is rather like casting a pebble down one of those mysterious sinkholes-you will never hear the splash as it hits the bottom.

 

You have got to come up with a cunning plan.

This was mine.

After the rural Einsteins decided that my front lawn was a great place to graze their miniature Godzillas I elected to employ the services of "Lola" soi dog and chicken terminator extraordinaire.A few meals to warm her to the task at hand,a promise to provide for her in her future endeavours ,a shaggy paw shake on the deal,a ritual unlocking of the front gate and the rest,as they say,is history...

On ‎2‎/‎23‎/‎2017 at 3:43 PM, Retired in Thailand said:

she says it's just that her dad isn't so smart (and by appearances he isn't)

Smart enough not to have them at his house

I have a thai dog who loves chickens to death.

For rent 500 a day until your problem is solved.

11 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Nah..

 

It is quite useless to talk to your wife and waiting for the penny to drop with your in-laws is rather like casting a pebble down one of those mysterious sinkholes-you will never hear the splash as it hits the bottom.

 

You have got to come up with a cunning plan.

This was mine.

After the rural Einsteins decided that my front lawn was a great place to graze their miniature Godzillas I elected to employ the services of "Lola" soi dog and chicken terminator extraordinaire.A few meals to warm her to the task at hand,a promise to provide for her in her future endeavours ,a shaggy paw shake on the deal,a ritual unlocking of the front gate and the rest,as they say,is history...

Good way to get a dog killed as was one of mine after some <deleted> poisoned it as it had a predilection for chasing chickens. Maybe they are a bit more serious up my way if you <deleted> with their food. Ended up punching on with an " uncle" which had the whole family turn on me for quite a while. 

34 minutes ago, starky said:

Good way to get a dog killed as was one of mine after some <deleted> poisoned it as it had a predilection for chasing chickens. Maybe they are a bit more serious up my way if you <deleted> with their food. Ended up punching on with an " uncle" which had the whole family turn on me for quite a while. 

Lola the evil soi dog,along with her mate"Dodo-the dumb dog" now occupies a privileged position under the shady tree in my front yard.Both have been washed and groomed,eat two square meals a day and keep the property chicken and snake free.

 

The odd thing is that they have become regular trades unionists in their work ethic having little or no interest in the chickens next door.

 

She is also thinking of sending a promising member of the clan to one of those Rajabat universities next year-upward mobility is very much on her mind at present.

 

Ps-I live in deepest darkest Isaan.Colonel Kurtz (ret'd) lives just up the road and is having the usual problems with his wife's brothers,uncles,cousins..etc.