Dictatorship for Dummies, a guide to setting up and running your own Dictatorship.

[Peterw42]

Firstly it helps if you are a minor celebrity, a face people know, a background in public office or politics is not important.

 

1. Give the population someone to blame. Pick a race, a religion or any grouping of people. Blame them for everything, forget actual numbers or statistic or even the truth. They are responsible for everything. Immigrants are a nice broad category. Tip: the population needs to know that the size of their flat screen TV and pick up truck is inversely proportional to the amount of immigrants.

2. Offer the population simplistic solutions to the new and perceived enemy you have created. Offer rewards such as tax cuts, jobs, and greatness.

3. Shut down and circumvent the existing system of government. It is best to avoid those annoying things like constitutions, laws and the judiciary. These are concepts made up by tree hugging hippies. Point out to the population that these petty rules are standing in the way of untold wealth security and a bigger flatscreen TV. Tip: its best to avoid the system and party that got you elected, there will always be some people who want to stick to the old system, bills through congress etc.

4. Silence the opposition press or anyone who questions, disagrees, has a different opinion. Set up your own media outlet, 24/7 favorable opinions and talk back. A fox in hen house. Its best not to use actual journalists as they can often have some ethics and standards that may impead the flow of information. Talk back and opinion shows work well to get your message across. Tip: Leave alligations of fake news to your news outlet, people may wise up if that’s all you ever talk about.

5. Set up a one way flow of information. Social media is great for this, if by chance you say something stupid it can be edited or even deleted. It never existed.

6. Preach to the converted. Any speech, announcement or public appearance should only ever be in front of a room full of whooping hollering masses, already converted. Think Hitler circa 1938. Tip: Don’t forget the T-shirts and signs.

7. Tools and resources. If you feel your dictatorship waning try some of these handy tips. Nationalism/patriotism, pull out the national anthem or the flag etc. (wagners rise of the valkeries works well but should be kept for special occasions). National Security is always a good one, creates fear real or perceived. Refer to yourself in the third person, it help to create that larger than life demigod thing. Religion is always an effective tool, in god we trust takes the responsibility away from you, a prayer before a big speech lends itself to a higher purpose. Tip: don’t be afraid to start using those names supreme leader, the father, leader of the free world etc.

8. Future goals. Lets face it, its world domination, but besides that, here are some small goals you may wish to aspire to. Your picture on the money, nothing says I have arrived like your picture on a fresh banknote. It also very important to have your name on lots of large phallic buildings. Maybe get someone to write a biography about you, the art of the dictator, then later claim that you wrote it.

 

In conclusion, welcome to the exciting new world of dictatorship. Whatever your reason for wanting to become a dictator, ignorance, stupidity, small penis, Hopefully this Guide will help achieve your narcissistic goals.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Zzzzzx

[Jai Dee]

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