I'm father of a Thai baby, but can't go on with the mother

[alextrp77777]

Hi all,

 

I am just another one who realize after his child's birth, that we have to carefully choose our partner and moreover the mother of our child

 

I have stayed 2 years with my Thai GF, I wanted to have a child , yes it is me. He is now 3 months years old and I love him very much, also he is my only child.

 

But I can't stand his mother anymore. Over the time that she was pregnant and then after, I saw her true face more and more, I can't stand her way of life and her attitude anymore.

 

I am deeply sad and devastated by the fact that I will loose my son. I can't even imagine that. I am so depressed that this little wonder will be raised in the wrong place and by the wrong people.

I guess I must face it.

 

I absolutely want to financially support my child. I just registered the papers as father to the amphur, and I think this doesn't give her any right to ask me anything.

I would like to know more about this.  Could she make me run into trouble ? Could she be able to request anything from me by the law ? I just agree to support my child, certainly not her and her lazy life.

 

Thank you

[giddyup]

You will never know how she spends the money you say you will give her for child support, that's out of your control. Do you intend giving her regular payments until the child turns 18? That's a long time, but you made your bed.

[aussiandrew]

Firstly you need to had a D&A completed on the child at an International Hospital in Thailand as soon as possible.

[giddyup]

2 minutes ago, aussiandrew said:

Firstly you need to had a D&A completed on the child at an International Hospital in Thailand as soon as possible.

DNA.

[JungleBiker]

Why not do whatever you have to do to stay with him? 

[grumbleweed]

OP: I don't envy your position. Unless you can gain custody I'm afraid she'll she this as a weakness and use it to screw you to the hilt.

 

[OmarZaid]

Unless you can legally move on with the boy in your custody, say goodbye  . . . best to move on try to stay in touch,  set up a trust if you have the income ... send subsistence, visit when possible, but only if civil . . .

[sead]

Dont put anything on paper and sign. 

If you show any interest in the baby youre screwed. Shes gonna try to milk you on all your money. Dont give shit.

If you want custody then its better to give her 100 000 or 200 000 in one sum after you sign papers . instead of giving her 5000- 10000 every month. Because she will tripple that amount quickly

 

[sead]

Dont put anything on paper and sign. 

If you show any interest in the baby youre screwed. Shes gonna try to milk you on all your money. Dont give shit.

If you want custody then its better to give her 100 000 or 200 000 in one sum after you sign papers . instead of giving her 5000- 10000 every month. Because she will tripple that amount quickly

 

[CharlieH]

A troll remark and response removed.

[giddyup]

35 minutes ago, sead said:

Dont put anything on paper and sign. 

If you show any interest in the baby youre screwed. Shes gonna try to milk you on all your money. Dont give shit.

If you want custody then its better to give her 100 000 or 200 000 in one sum after you sign papers . instead of giving her 5000- 10000 every month. Because she will tripple that amount quickly

 

If it is his kid then he's 50% responsible for it's welfare until it turns 18. A lump sum will run through her fingers like sand.

[elgordo38]

37 minutes ago, sead said:

Dont put anything on paper and sign. 

If you show any interest in the baby youre screwed. Shes gonna try to milk you on all your money. Dont give shit.

If you want custody then its better to give her 100 000 or 200 000 in one sum after you sign papers . instead of giving her 5000- 10000 every month. Because she will tripple that amount quickly

 

Didn't read any better the second time. 

[elgordo38]

After this over and settled you young fellow should make a trip to the local hospital for a snip snip. Being a parent is nice but the road is a long one for you and the child with a unstable mother thrown in. Don't just think of the paternal part think of the quality of life that the child will have going forward. Its a long road. Number 2 can easily happen. I have been there done that and watching the present unfold and if I could do it over again I would take the above route. Its called solving world problems one step at a time. 

[chrischop]

I also have a baby son in Thailand nearly 2 years old now his mother is dangling him like a carrot to get money she is now working as she has no choice due to me refusing to keep sending money on demand what would be a reasonable amount of money for a child a week I looked at google it says 300 baht a day is a average wage for unskilled now if they can survive on that a day how much would it be for a child I refuse send money for the mother only my son thanks

[giddyup]

5 minutes ago, chrischop said:

I also have a baby son in Thailand nearly 2 years old now his mother is dangling him like a carrot to get money she is now working as she has no choice due to me refusing to keep sending money on demand what would be a reasonable amount of money for a child a week I looked at google it says 300 baht a day is a average wage for unskilled now if they can survive on that a day how much would it be for a child I refuse send money for the mother only my son thanks

How are you ever going to know how the money is spent? In the west the courts would determine how much you pay and you wouldn't know how the money was spent either. Pretty easy to walk away and leave someone else carrying the baby, literally. People should take on some responsibility in life, either that or keep your dick in your pants.

[chrischop]

Because like before when I was married to the <deleted> she would send money to its family I started building a house and her brother used place as a garage reason why we split as she put it her family number 1 basically do what they like me I'm number 2 don't get no say only be a cash machine she is expecting me send 5000 baht a week never gonna happen think 150 baht a day will be sufficient I'm sure the number 1 family will take care of him

Edited May 20, 2017 by metisdead
Offensive language removed.

[giddyup]

13 minutes ago, chrischop said:

Because like before when I was married to the <deleted> she would send money to its family I started building a house and her brother used place as a garage reason why we split as she put it her family number 1 basically do what they like me I'm number 2 don't get no say only be a cash machine she is expecting me send 5000 baht a week never gonna happen think 150 baht a day will be sufficient I'm sure the number 1 family will take care of him

You should have thought about all that before you start spreading your seed and then not wanting to pay your dues. She and her family are stuck with another mouth to feed that they may ill afford, you just wash your hands of it. Go and have a vasectomy, the world doesn't need any more fathers like you.

[khunken]

Get a lawyer to draw up an agreement between you and the mother for maintenance payments for the child to her. A fair monthly sum - negotiable - paid for the upkeep of the child and access rights should be part of the agreement.

 

Schooling & medical fees should be only paid on sight of receipts.

 

Note: you need frequent access to the child in order to help him understand and communicate with you in English (assuming that you don't speak Thai).

[sead]

56 minutes ago, giddyup said:

If it is his kid then he's 50% responsible for it's welfare until it turns 18. A lump sum will run through her fingers like sand.

No hes not. In Thailand he only have responsibility if he is married. What she is doing with money isnt his ti bother. The lumpsum is for the transfer of the baby to be in his custody. 

[lungnorm]

Have you ever heard of getting off the train before it reaches Central Station ? Pity as you would not have this problem now.

 

[chrischop]

49 minutes ago, giddyup said:

You should have thought about all that before you start spreading your seed and then not wanting to pay your dues. She and her family are stuck with another mouth to feed that they may ill afford, you just wash your hands of it. Go and have a vasectomy, the world doesn't need any more fathers like you.

Everything was OK until it's brother used house as a garage then she hit nail on head stating her family number 1 can do what they like I've offered to bring son to England she refuses I go visit son in Thailand she starts arguing then takes son away after I have gave her money want want all time she wants more money the girl can spend money so quick it's unreal I am and never will support her or her family my son yes but I expect access to him not 3 days out of a month while I am there that's the type of <deleted> it is 

[chrischop]

1 hour ago, giddyup said:

You should have thought about all that before you start spreading your seed and then not wanting to pay your dues. She and her family are stuck with another mouth to feed that they may ill afford, you just wash your hands of it. Go and have a vasectomy, the world doesn't need any more fathers like you.

I've never refused to pay it seems the more she gets the more she wants to feed her number 1 family if she never let it's brother use house as a garage it would of had a house built by now but as she said her family number 1can do what they like I will only ever send money for my son not for his mother and it's number 1 family 

[IssanDad]

Hi, I have a 3 year old daughter and its been a long road, Her mother left her in Issan about a year ago, when i was in Australia. As soon as i could i came here and drove up to Issan to get her. When she saw me she ran straight out of the house and wouldnt let go of me till we departed the next day. She's now been living with me here in Bangkok for 5 months, her mother is here in Bangkok doing something?? She see's her about once a month for 1-2 days.. Thats fine by me. We are now about to move to Uthaithani where i have a job as a teacher and she can go to the same school as they have an Anuban (Kindergarten). My aim is for her to be fully fluent in English so when she's five ill take to Australia for an an education. After 5 months of learning to speak english with me she doing a fantastic job already.

[sead]

10 minutes ago, IssanDad said:

Hi, I have a 3 year old daughter and its been a long road, Her mother left her in Issan about a year ago, when i was in Australia. As soon as i could i came here and drove up to Issan to get her. When she saw me she ran straight out of the house and wouldnt let go of me till we departed the next day. She's now been living with me here in Bangkok for 5 months, her mother is here in Bangkok doing something?? She see's her about once a month for 1-2 days.. Thats fine by me. We are now about to move to Uthaithani where i have a job as a teacher and she can go to the same school as they have an Anuban (Kindergarten). My aim is for her to be fully fluent in English so when she's five ill take to Australia for an an education. After 5 months of learning to speak english with me she doing a fantastic job already.

Thats what im talking about. Either you forget you got a child. Because the mother will just use the child to play games with you. Or you take care of the child yourself.

 

[todlad]

How old is the child? 3 months? 

 

You were with this woman for 15 months before she became pregnant and one year and a child later you want to run away.

 

There are many stories of idle Thai women but there idle women all over the world!

 

You really are causing a massive problem with your choices and your solution. Are you worried because you want to stay in Thailand and you are thinking you will be chased out of the country if you make more of a mess of things?

 

I imagine that any relationship you think you will have with your son will be a disaster unless you are with him very frequently. Cheque book parenthood will not work.

 

What is your new girl friend thinking about this situation? Has she refused to allow you to let your son live with you? Just wondering.

[reenatinnakor]

Lol. You guys make me laugh. So you just want to send money for your kid but you don't want the responsibility to take care of it and you wouldn't be able to take care of it anyway if the mother suddenly said...here, you take it and see how you look after it! And you all want to send the minimum possible for the kid to ensure the mum doesn't get a single penny. You should face up to your responsibilities if you don't Google how contraception works. Even if you give 20k a month until 18 you shouldn't complain.

[giddyup]

2 hours ago, sead said:

No hes not. In Thailand he only have responsibility if he is married. What she is doing with money isnt his ti bother. The lumpsum is for the transfer of the baby to be in his custody. 

Have you ever heard about moral responsibility, or is that an alien concept?

[bangkokairportlink]

Next time don't be stupid enough to want a kid.

 

 

[USPatriot]

Like most your son will probably end up in the village.  Of her parents like you it is easy to see your son.

 

I've been called crazy for the amount I pay for my kids but they want for nothing.

 

Get your son insurance its 2500 baht a month.

 

The situation might get better over time good luck

[giddyup]

2 hours ago, chrischop said:

I've never refused to pay it seems the more she gets the more she wants to feed her number 1 family if she never let it's brother use house as a garage it would of had a house built by now but as she said her family number 1can do what they like I will only ever send money for my son not for his mother and it's number 1 family 

How are you going to ensure that the money is only spent on your son?