The poisonous Brother in Law

[GarryP]

2 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

Oh come on oh wise owl, don't fire up the old battle for my soul again. You will get me started on the pity versus common sense endless battle.

 

car is with daughter, I paid for it but have zero access, likewise the BMW which remains incarcerated in the BMw hospital pending payment which now will unlikely come

 

i tried again today to solicit even the vaguest of acknowledgements that the reaction she implemented to me talking two comments to a woman ( whom she dislikes) who does not even speak English was disproportionate. 

 

No dice. 

 

I am wrong on so many counts but most of all because I showed her no respect. That is of course not taking into account the lumphamner attack on the door, the seething hatred in her screaming insane attacks on me, the throwing outside on the roof of a great amount of my clothing and the launching of my six month old £1000 laptop across the room at me, the disrespectful comments passed about the farang in thai whilst seated in front of me thinking I do not understand, the constant and groundless accusations of being a butterfly or a snake head ( sleaze) 

 

But it is me demonstrating a lack of respect. 

 

In my my view she has a problem with this elephantine like woman With whom I spoke briefly and she cannot come to terms with it. Her thai pride being so important that she would rather lose me and all that goes with it throwing away 17 years of being together, because she will not even listen to me trying to explain that this woman is a nothing and makes herself look like the small minded cow she is when she insults me in thai and the best way to deal with it is to ignore it and keep on talking to her. 

 

But hey hey it is too late now to repair any fences. I hope and pray that the transfer from the uk comes through tomorrow as then I am offski.

Make sure that you do not repair the gate when you leave. That way they'll be locked in for hours trying to figure a way out.

 

Tomorrow is a bank holiday in Thailand. 

 

Many, many moons ago (thirty or so years ago) I had a girlfriend who was insanely jealous. I could never understand it. Getting violent for no reason other than her mind working in some strange way. She would get jealous of shopkeepers I spoke to, waitresses, etc. I was stabbed and plant potted and she even attacked a friend because she was sure he intended to introduce me to someone (utter <deleted>). She screwed me up on so many levels. Finally, I did a runner. I was 22 or 23 at the time. I do know she did not have a good childhood. But for F's sake, why do we accept being the chopping board or punch bag. 

 

I'm  now happy that I can keep all my property in my name. I think this is one of the problems in Thailand . The house , the car, etc. goes in the Thai wife's name and they sort of start to expect it (some not all). It is as if they are doing you a favor. Just glad that is over for me.  

 

Wish you all the best in your quest for freedom and/or happiness.  I don't think you really understand how unhappy you are until you start to breathe the air on your own terms. It is a big jump and the landing can be hard but it is definitely worth it.

  

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, owl sees all said:

Interestingly he asked what I thought a farang wives' forum would be like. 

What could these ladies say about us? 

 

"I got  job as a cashier in a bar , only been there a few days . John walked in, he had just been discharged from the S.A.S after spending 30 tears undercover in Saudi Arabia and he was in Pattaya freelancing assassinating terrorists .He had never drank beer before, let alone going into a bar and he wondered what beer tastes like, Hes different to all the rest"

[sandrabbit]

 

[Been there done that]

Life is not easy in Animal Farm, I read.

 

Advise to all men, stay away from jealous women. Unless you like to be controlled.

[Odysseus123]

Someone mentioned many posts ago that decent Thai men experience/suffer exactly the same things and,from my observation,that appears to be so.

 

My wife's cousin lives a few houses down from me.Her husband is a most respectable man who has a minor gov't post and neither smokes,drinks or parties.

 

However his wife's brother and sister did not work and scored at least two meals a day from the wonderful,ever loving sister.

 

When he started protesting he got the stock standard response from this family "It's up to them!" and the usual total indifference.

 

So he put in for a transfer elsewhere and sallied forth...Well,well,well the family after screaming a bit, promptly shifted the two bludgers off to another province where,it is rumoured,they are actually working!

 

As a moral and ethical viewpoint "It's up to them!" certainly leaves a lot to be desired.

[Been there done that]

9 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Someone mentioned many posts ago that decent Thai men experience/suffer exactly the same things and,from my observation,that appears to be so.

 

My wife's cousin lives a few houses down from me.Her husband is a most respectable man who has a minor gov't post and neither smokes,drinks or parties.

 

However his wife's brother and sister did not work and scored at least two meals a day from the wonderful,ever loving sister.

 

When he started protesting he got the stock standard response from this family "It's up to them!" and the usual total indifference.

 

So he put in for a transfer elsewhere and sallied forth...Well,well,well the family after screaming a bit, promptly shifted the two bludgers off to another province where,it is rumoured,they are actually working!

 

As a moral and ethical viewpoint "It's up to them!" certainly leaves a lot to be desired.

You are on the right track. Gaining knowledge. See through the veneer of this society. Which btw is run by women.

[oldcarguy]

Lazy people were  there long before you showed up and will be there long after you leave ,

 

The only way things will change is if the people supporting the lazy bastards give them the boot , but Thainess does not make that easy,

and like welfare in the USA you end up with a group that think they are "entitled"  to free stuff and not working ,

 

Hard to change generations of people with these ideas.....

 

 

[The Dark Lord]

12 hours ago, owl sees all said:

I was away most of the day visiting a farang friend. I told him about our forum topic and how it really heart warming for each of us to get support from other members.

 

Interestingly he asked what I thought a farang wives' forum would be like. 

 

What could these ladies say about us? Most of us have given up everything to live here and try to make our wives happy. What could they complain about in their forum about us?

 

Might make a good topic.

Dear Wise Owl, you seem to have the knack of thinking outside the box, or at least those who are in the circles in which you socialise do..

 

i think we could be pretty sure that the truth element would be absent and it would would likely be a competition to create the most frightful story about how bad the farang husband is/was or to compete on showing how much ( in handbags / shoes/clothes/houses/cars)  they got out of the marriage. Either way it would descend into a scrabble to be the top dog ( or should that be bitch?)

[The Dark Lord]

11 hours ago, GarryP said:

Make sure that you do not repair the gate when you leave. That way they'll be locked in for hours trying to figure a way out.

 

Tomorrow is a bank holiday in Thailand. 

 

Many, many moons ago (thirty or so years ago) I had a girlfriend who was insanely jealous. I could never understand it. Getting violent for no reason other than her mind working in some strange way. She would get jealous of shopkeepers I spoke to, waitresses, etc. I was stabbed and plant potted and she even attacked a friend because she was sure he intended to introduce me to someone (utter <deleted>). She screwed me up on so many levels. Finally, I did a runner. I was 22 or 23 at the time. I do know she did not have a good childhood. But for F's sake, why do we accept being the chopping board or punch bag. 

 

I'm  now happy that I can keep all my property in my name. I think this is one of the problems in Thailand . The house , the car, etc. goes in the Thai wife's name and they sort of start to expect it (some not all). It is as if they are doing you a favor. Just glad that is over for me.  

 

Wish you all the best in your quest for freedom and/or happiness.  I don't think you really understand how unhappy you are until you start to breathe the air on your own terms. It is a big jump and the landing can be hard but it is definitely worth it.

  

Hi GP and welcome to the thread. Fantastic contribution and you know what, I think you are 100% spot on when you stated that you believed I was unaware how unhappy I actually am. You're right. I never thought about it that way as the anger and fear ( yes fear for what next was going to upset the apple,cart)  being much stronger emotions,clouded any feelings of  happiness that I may have or be pining for.

 

When I think about it certainly the last four years have not been the happiest of my life nor the preceding six in UK, six in Italy and the final two out of my seven in Singapore. What, other than me, was common to that period of being unhappy?

 

why am / was I so dumb?

 

ah well there is still life in the old dog (me) so let's try and address that imbalance. 

 

If if I am honest I don't think she was ever happy when I look back at all the embarrassing tricks she pulled on me.

 

thanks GP you have stiffened my resolve.

[Odysseus123]

18 hours ago, oldhippy said:

In my case, I am 66 and burned most bridges.

 

 

oldhippy.

 

May I ask you a question?

 

Did those bridges get burnt in a dramatic fashion or did they smolder away for a while?

 

I ask this because a German friend and I were discussing this very issue some time ago.We both talked about the gradual falling away of family and friends from our respective countries even tho' both of us had tried to keep in contact via emails and photos.

 

It seemed to be a case of "out of sight-out of mind"- or the weird father,uncle, brother disappearing into the dark jungles of Thailand.

 

I do not recall having dramatically burnt more than one or two bridges-the rest of them have simply disappeared or been overgrown by the lantana.No fences to mend either because the fences have moved on as well.

Edited July 10, 2017 by Odysseus123

[LannaGuy]

57 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

oldhippy.

 

May I ask you a question?

 

Did those bridges get burnt in a dramatic fashion or did they smolder away for a while?

 

I ask this because a German friend and I were discussing this very issue some time ago.We both talked about the gradual falling away of family and friends from our respective countries even tho' both of us had tried to keep in contact via emails and photos.

 

It seemed to be a case of "out of sight-out of mind"- or the weird father,uncle, brother disappearing into the dark jungles of Thailand.

 

I do not recall having dramatically burnt more than one or two bridges-the rest of them have simply disappeared or been overgrown by the lantana.No fences to mend either because the fences have moved on as well.

Yes me too... just proves ALL relationships are transient even though at the time we think they are permanent  

[The Dark Lord]

1 hour ago, Odysseus123 said:

oldhippy.

 

May I ask you a question?

 

Did those bridges get burnt in a dramatic fashion or did they smolder away for a while?

 

I ask this because a German friend and I were discussing this very issue some time ago.We both talked about the gradual falling away of family and friends from our respective countries even tho' both of us had tried to keep in contact via emails and photos.

 

It seemed to be a case of "out of sight-out of mind"- or the weird father,uncle, brother disappearing into the dark jungles of Thailand.

 

I do not recall having dramatically burnt more than one or two bridges-the rest of them have simply disappeared or been overgrown by the lantana.No fences to mend either because the fences have moved on as well.

Quite right Odysseus old chum,

 

i have a rather taxing aged mother ( or is it mutha?) who demands that I call her or mail her. I have invested in a laptop and iPad for her installed a VOI P system ( skype) so we can chat at zero cost but no, I have to use the phone which ain't cheap.

 

two sisters and two daughters out of which one sister is pretty regular with her one liner mail, second sis once per six months but daughters........

 

maybe it is not not that we burned our bridges but more like our bridges were burned for us as we did not fit the mould

Edited July 10, 2017 by The Dark Lord

[oldhippy]

1 hour ago, Odysseus123 said:

oldhippy.

 

May I ask you a question?

 

Did those bridges get burnt in a dramatic fashion or did they smolder away for a while?

 

I ask this because a German friend and I were discussing this very issue some time ago.We both talked about the gradual falling away of family and friends from our respective countries even tho' both of us had tried to keep in contact via emails and photos.

 

It seemed to be a case of "out of sight-out of mind"- or the weird father,uncle, brother disappearing into the dark jungles of Thailand.

 

I do not recall having dramatically burnt more than one or two bridges-the rest of them have simply disappeared or been overgrown by the lantana.No fences to mend either because the fences have moved on as well.

Thanks for asking me - and a good question of common interest too.

No drama, no, not in my case.

 

I still have some bridges: social security including health care (that I paid for all my life), european bank account and credit cards (so I can book hasslefree whatever I want on internet), passport and non imm O visas, a cheap rental house back home, with all my stuff (hehe mostly my LP collection) in it. I go home - usually with my wife - every year.

 

But friends, family, social contacts? No. They faded away, I honestly put in some effort, they did not.

I can only imagine that they are jealous for me "living the dream", even though from day 1 I told them that there is good and bad everywhere.

Thailand, paradise lost hehehehe.

 

Maybe it is the freedom that they envy or can't cope with?

Yet, freedom is not given, it is taken. I took it, they did not. Not my problem.

And could it be that they are even less free than me?

 

 

 

 

 

[marko kok prong]

1 hour ago, LannaGuy said:

Yes me too... just proves ALL relationships are transient even though at the time we think they are permanent  

Nothing lasts forever not even cold November rain,i would attempt to post a link to the song,but like paragraphs that seems to be beyond my skill set.

[transam]

5 minutes ago, marko kok prong said:

Nothing lasts forever not even cold November rain,i would attempt to post a link to the song,but like paragraphs that seems to be beyond my skill set.

 

[oldhippy]

13 minutes ago, marko kok prong said:

Nothing lasts forever not even cold November rain,i would attempt to post a link to the song,but like paragraphs that seems to be beyond my skill set.

maybe this - not that I care for this imitation hard rock band, babies they are, but covered good song.

[oldhippy]

hehehehe Transam

you beat me

 

[The Dark Lord]

26 minutes ago, transam said:

 

Good old Trans n hippydude you can always count on them to find the music.....

 

Hey whilst I have you, anyone on this thread live in Rayong or could recommend a cheap place to doss down whilst I sort myshizzer out?

 

prefer near a beach and/or the music bars to take my mind off the recent crapola.

Edited July 10, 2017 by The Dark Lord
Emerging insanity

[sanemax]

33 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

Thanks for asking me - and a good question of common interest too.

No drama, no, not in my case.

But friends, family, social contacts? No. They faded away, I honestly put in some effort, they did not.

I can only imagine that they are jealous for me "living the dream", even though from day 1 I told them that there is good and bad everywhere.

Thailand, paradise lost hehehehe.

 

 

    I wouldnt look too much into that

I dont see family and friends for years on end , but when you meet up, its like youve never been away

[transam]

17 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

hehehehe Transam

you beat me

 

But I really like this one......

 

 

[sanemax]

3 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

100% spot on when you stated that you believed I was unaware how unhappy I actually am.

Ones own personal happiness ?

HHHmmmmm , When I was with the now ex, I was ecstatically happy for four days and unhappy, angry , annoyed and frustrated for three days (per week ) (frustrated because I could not communicate with her , due to her lack of comprehension.)

    To deal with that frustration, I drank Chang . 

My happiness levels then went from Two days being ecstatically happy, Three days being  angry , annoyed and frustrated and two days being drunk .

    Now that she has gone, I no longer get angry annoyed and frustrated , no longer drink excessively and , although not ecstatically happy , quite happy and content

   On a weekly basis , I am so much happier now

  

[owl sees all]

17 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

Oh come on oh wise owl, don't fire up the old battle for my soul again. You will get me started on the pity versus common sense endless battle.

Sorry DL. What I meant was that on reflection (in the future) she might realise she has done a wrong-un.

[Odysseus123]

1 hour ago, LannaGuy said:

Yes me too... just proves ALL relationships are transient even though at the time we think they are permanent  

LannaGuy,oldhippy and Dark Lord.

 

Thank you for your responses.

 

My family is very small in Australia and we lost contact years ago.My elder siblings are all deceased.My first wife and I never had children and she is now deceased as well.

 

I started to lose "friends" and "acquaintances pretty much soon after I medically retired in late 2011.They were employed and I was not.As I began to struggle in earnest with the cancer it was actually my now Thai wife who supported and assisted me and I must that she was wonderful at that time.

 

I dramatically burned a couple of bridges when,after I decided to live in Thailand,a couple of friends became censorious and moralistic about elderly "sexpats" running off with Thai ladies of easy virtue.They were smarmy and exceedingly hypocritical at one and the same time.

 

But now I must go home.I have lost my Thai health insurance (they priced me out of existence) and need to reconnect with Australia's social security system as well.I think that I will enjoy the challenge but don't think that I will succeed in resuscitating old friendships.Kin perhaps but acquaintances-No.

[LannaGuy]

24 minutes ago, transam said:

But I really like this one......

 

 

 

 

[owl sees all]

16 hours ago, sanemax said:

"He spends alot of my money on alcohol , hes so selfish, hes got one of those magic ATM cards and he can take as much money out as he wants , but when he withdraws my money, he keeps some of it for himself"

And he has all this money hidden away for his children in his OWN country.

[The Dark Lord]

10 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

LannaGuy,oldhippy and Dark Lord.

 

Thank you for your responses.

 

My family is very small in Australia and we lost contact years ago.My elder siblings are all deceased.My first wife and I never had children and she is now deceased as well.

 

I started to lose "friends" and "acquaintances pretty much soon after I medically retired in late 2011.They were employed and I was not.As I began to struggle in earnest with the cancer it was actually my now Thai wife who supported and assisted me and I must that she was wonderful at that time.

 

I dramatically burned a couple of bridges when,after I decided to live in Thailand,a couple of friends became censorious and moralistic about elderly "sexpats" running off with Thai ladies of easy virtue.They were smarmy and exceedingly hypocritical at one and the same time.

 

But now I must go home.I have lost my Thai health insurance (they priced me out of existence) and need to reconnect with Australia's social security system as well.I think that I will enjoy the challenge but don't think that I will succeed in resuscitating old friendships.Kin perhaps but acquaintances-No.

Well ody old chum,

 

For what it is worth, I would like to keep on chattering and exchanging views with you as a sort of cyber chum. Not a FB "will you be my friend" thing but someone who has found common interests (perhaps challenges is more appropriate) and whom genuinely enjoys your witty, informative and highly literate writing style. 

 

Bit selfish of me really as as I want to hear so much more about Oz never having visited. For example is it true they bowl underarm and cannot play decent rugby anymore? I personally doubt it but you never know after the lions tour.... Is it really ill advised to pick up a $10 bill from the pavement in Sydney? 

 

I want  to hear more / all  about the big blue sky, the endless horizons and the cracking humour that we from mother England are losing due to an over dose of political correctness. 

 

It may may not be a friend with whom you can share a Jacobs creek or two as the sun moves towards the motherland but it's a start.

 

you up for that? 

 

I am am talking about using TVF such that  this small but highly entertaining and emotionally helpful "self help group " that has developed in the last few days can keep the banter and sharing up. 

Edited July 10, 2017 by The Dark Lord

[transam]

I sang this to some farangs with their birds once.............It's true....

 

 

[Odysseus123]

1 minute ago, The Dark Lord said:

Well ody old chum,

 

For what it is worth, I would like to keep on chattering and exchanging views with you as a sort of cyber chum. Not a FB "will you be my friend" thing but someone who has found common interests (perhaps challenges is more appropriate) and whom genuinely enjoys your witty, informative and highly literate writing style. 

 

Bit selfish of me really as as I want to hear so much more about Oz never having visited. For example is it true they bowl underarm and cannot play decent rugby anymore? I personally doubt it but you never know after the lions tour.... Is it really ill advised to pick up a $10 bill from the pavement in Sydney? 

 

I want  to hear more / all  about the big blue sky, the endless horizons and the cracking humour that we from mother England are losing due to an over dose of political correctness. 

 

It may may not be a friend with whom you can share a Jacobs creek or two as the sun moves towards the motherland but it's a start.

 

you up for that? 

Sure-I will continue to stay in touch here on TV..until things change...

Basically I carry around an Aussie medical report from 2013 that says.."He's a DEAD MAN"

 

Every doctor who reads it is very impressed as I am from time to time when I re-examine it.

 

Such a report is not so good for insurance purposes tho' 

 

Ahhh..the notorious underarm ball...I have seen bloodbaths commence in pubs over that.

[sandrabbit]

43 minutes ago, The Dark Lord said:

Hey whilst I have you, anyone on this thread live in Rayong or could recommend a cheap place to doss down whilst I sort myshizzer out?

pm me if you're looking for somewhere in the Ban Phe area, it's low season so plenty of places.

[sandrabbit]