How Much Sin-sod Did You Pay?

[SanukJoe]

i didnt pay a single satang. i made it clear from the very outset of the relationship that i would not pay a sinsod.

when it came down to meeting her parents the mum said 'we are not isaan we don't want a sinsod'. they are from the north.

her dad said that he expected me to look after his daughter for the rest of her life and that would be enough. he said to keep all of my money to help us start our life together as man and wife.

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

You really loved your wife then, I can see that!!!

Joe

[SanukJoe]

the problem is the stupid farang who met and marry a local within a space of a few months not bothering to learn about there future spouse and local customs.

i have no sympathy for these desperado's.

Oh really, I met my wife in Sydney, 4 weeks later I popped the question and 3 Months later we were married. I had never been to Thailand and didn't know anything about the country. Now 17 years later we are still together and still going strong. For a bloke that's never been married you sure have a lot of opinions on the subject.

On another point you suggested Australia had no culture as it "was only 200 years old", obviously you did not include the original custodians of the land OUR Aboriginals who were here 65,000 years ago. Have you ever done a bit of of bush walking and caving in Northern Australia? The evidence of this Aboriginal culture is well documented.

You're lucky to have found your wife and to stay so long together, great!

It used to be common to get to know each other say for at least 6 months, with thai women farang seem to forget that and marry after 3 weeks (some), I don't mean you. You are an example of "love at first sight". Cheers

Terry was right about aussi culture and I wrote it before in one of my posts: Australia, if you talk farang, has not a long history and culture. I wrote that the culture in Australia is Aborigins, in NZ Maori and in USA native Indians. Terry meant the culture westerners are proud of and he is right.

Joe

[erikr_]

I think that anyone , may be in different way and amount , give some contribute to the family's wife or girlfriends . I do not believe to the ones that say zero ( N.B. exception confirm the rule )

Standing right now: 50% paid and 50% didn't pay or don't want to admit

Indeed, I paid zero sinsot, but as I knew the family had some debts I decided to pay those off. Would my wife have married me anyway? yes, i only learned about the debts later. So yes I did pay sinsot, just in a different way

[a2396]

But what about western culture? does that not factor into the relationship one little bit?

In our culture if we have to pay for a girl, that means she is a prostitute...right?

Well if you are directly handing money over for sexual services yes. But Sinsod isn't like that, and by your rational does that mean if the Sinsod is returned then the girl isn't a prostitute and the wedding now fits in with Western culture?

Marrage is about hasip/hapsip (50/50) in everything and that includes tolerance of each others culture. In my mind if the Thai girl refuses to take her husbands culture into consideration then the relationship is off to a very bad start.

I agree with this totally.

I know many farangs that have Thai wifes and only one paid sinsod. His wife and about 2 million baht left him within 3 years. The other guys are still married and have happy relationships.

But that doesn't justify or not justify Sinsod does it? I know people who have paid sinsod and still happily married, so wheres the point here?

I think your gf or her family suddenly turns round to you and demands a million or two for Sinsod it tells you a lot about the girl and the family. A lot of farangs get taken in by the old 'well it's Thai culture you wouldn't understand' bullshit and a lot of these farangs only ever learn about Thai culture from the same gf and family.

Agreed again

When money is paid to the family and it is not given back to the couple, that is when it is plain robbery.

Like I said, many farangs have happy marriages myself included that did not pay sinsot. I have no problem when farangs pay and it is handled in the true Thai custom and that is...it is returned to the wife, IN FULL.

Joe gave all his money to the family...their land and now their house when he builds it, I can imagine the family convinced him that was the best way to go.

There are thousands of stories of farangs been taken for a ride and sinsot is just part of the over all scam (by the minority) of NE Thai people.

EXACTLY!!!

[leftcross]

i didnt pay a single satang.

You really loved your wife then, I can see that!!!

Joe

i really loved my girlfriend, as she was at the time. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and thought as much the moment i met her.

but i was never going to pay a sinsod, as it goes against many basic premises of what i regard as a healthy relationship. i told her that from the very start so that if it was an issue with her she could have walked away.

however i realised that even if she said it wasnt a problem then it might be for her family.

luckily my now-wife's family held a similar viewpoint. they aren't rich people but they aren't poor either. they are as middle class as you can get for thailand.

sinsod is mainly an isaan tradition and it is a system so easily exploited for foreigners as the family cry 'thai tradition' when the reality is most westerners can take care of their daughters for the rest of their in a far better financial manner than the majority thai men.

[leftcross]

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

But it is not the same, and suggesting that it is, is the same as a Thai telling you Westerners are evil and do not love their parents because they put them away in retirement homes instead of having them live at home with the family, like anyone with a heart would.

absolute rubbish.

[bmanly]

the problem is the stupid farang who met and marry a local within a space of a few months not bothering to learn about there future spouse and local customs.

i have no sympathy for these desperado's.

Oh really, I met my wife in Sydney, 4 weeks later I popped the question and 3 Months later we were married. I had never been to Thailand and didn't know anything about the country. Now 17 years later we are still together and still going strong. For a bloke that's never been married you sure have a lot of opinions on the subject.

On another point you suggested Australia had no culture as it "was only 200 years old", obviously you did not include the original custodians of the land OUR Aboriginals who were here 65,000 years ago. Have you ever done a bit of of bush walking and caving in Northern Australia? The evidence of this Aboriginal culture is well documented.

You're lucky to have found your wife and to stay so long together, great!

It used to be common to get to know each other say for at least 6 months, with thai women farang seem to forget that and marry after 3 weeks (some), I don't mean you. You are an example of "love at first sight". Cheers

Terry was right about aussi culture and I wrote it before in one of my posts: Australia, if you talk farang, has not a long history and culture. I wrote that the culture in Australia is Aborigins, in NZ Maori and in USA native Indians. Terry meant the culture westerners are proud of and he is right.

Joe

Actually Joe I quite like the way you have supported your views on sin sod. You are right for the reasons and way that you have done it. The best part about it that you respect those that did it in a different way, like me for that matter. I reckon that's a good excuse for a few "Non Dutch" beers together sometime somewhere, cheers mate.

[SanukJoe]

i didnt pay a single satang.

You really loved your wife then, I can see that!!!

Joe

i really loved my girlfriend, as she was at the time. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and thought as much the moment i met her.

but i was never going to pay a sinsod, as it goes against many basic premises of what i regard as a healthy relationship. i told her that from the very start so that if it was an issue with her she could have walked away.

however i realised that even if she said it wasnt a problem then it might be for her family.

luckily my now-wife's family held a similar viewpoint. they aren't rich people but they aren't poor either. they are as middle class as you can get for thailand.

sinsod is mainly an isaan tradition and it is a system so easily exploited for foreigners as the family cry 'thai tradition' when the reality is most westerners can take care of their daughters for the rest of their in a far better financial manner than the majority thai men.

As I said: you really loved your GF, everyone can see that!

Sin sot is not Isaan but Thai (and beyond that as you could have read) and not for farangs but for all men, still many more thai men marry thai women than farang men, and pay sin sot, the majority!

Joe

[SanukJoe]

the problem is the stupid farang who met and marry a local within a space of a few months not bothering to learn about there future spouse and local customs.

i have no sympathy for these desperado's.

Oh really, I met my wife in Sydney, 4 weeks later I popped the question and 3 Months later we were married. I had never been to Thailand and didn't know anything about the country. Now 17 years later we are still together and still going strong. For a bloke that's never been married you sure have a lot of opinions on the subject.

On another point you suggested Australia had no culture as it "was only 200 years old", obviously you did not include the original custodians of the land OUR Aboriginals who were here 65,000 years ago. Have you ever done a bit of of bush walking and caving in Northern Australia? The evidence of this Aboriginal culture is well documented.

You're lucky to have found your wife and to stay so long together, great!

It used to be common to get to know each other say for at least 6 months, with thai women farang seem to forget that and marry after 3 weeks (some), I don't mean you. You are an example of "love at first sight". Cheers

Terry was right about aussi culture and I wrote it before in one of my posts: Australia, if you talk farang, has not a long history and culture. I wrote that the culture in Australia is Aborigins, in NZ Maori and in USA native Indians. Terry meant the culture westerners are proud of and he is right.

Joe

Actually Joe I quite like the way you have supported your views on sin sod. You are right for the reasons and way that you have done it. The best part about it that you respect those that did it in a different way, like me for that matter. I reckon that's a good excuse for a few "Non Dutch" beers together sometime somewhere, cheers mate.

Cheers mate, if you insist I'll even drink Fosters

[meadish_sweetball]

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

But it is not the same, and suggesting that it is, is the same as a Thai telling you Westerners are evil and do not love their parents because they put them away in retirement homes instead of having them live at home with the family, like anyone with a heart would.

absolute rubbish.

Dazzling counterargument.

[bkkmadness]

[meemiathai]

i didnt pay a single satang.

You really loved your wife then, I can see that!!!

Joe

i really loved my girlfriend, as she was at the time. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and thought as much the moment i met her.

but i was never going to pay a sinsod, as it goes against many basic premises of what i regard as a healthy relationship. i told her that from the very start so that if it was an issue with her she could have walked away.

however i realised that even if she said it wasnt a problem then it might be for her family.

luckily my now-wife's family held a similar viewpoint. they aren't rich people but they aren't poor either. they are as middle class as you can get for thailand.

sinsod is mainly an isaan tradition and it is a system so easily exploited for foreigners as the family cry 'thai tradition' when the reality is most westerners can take care of their daughters for the rest of their in a far better financial manner than the majority thai men.

As I said: you really loved your GF, everyone can see that!

Sin sot is not Isaan but Thai (and beyond that as you could have read) and not for farangs but for all men, still many more thai men marry thai women than farang men, and pay sin sot, the majority!

Joe

And he really believes so!

I was about to make the same comment.

[meemiathai]

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

But it is not the same, and suggesting that it is, is the same as a Thai telling you Westerners are evil and do not love their parents because they put them away in retirement homes instead of having them live at home with the family, like anyone with a heart would.

absolute rubbish.

Dazzling counterargument.

Yes, very meaningful. Lots of substance!

And he knows the sin sod is just an isaan thing as well!

Thailand expert?

[leftcross]

not me, the mother in law, but i guess you cant really call her a thai expert seeing as she is thai and has never left the place!

better to take the work of some old bald farang with a ''countryside'' wife

[meadish_sweetball]

Sorry to say mate, but if your mother in law maintains sin sod is not the custom outside of Isaan, she must have lived her life in quarantine. Are you sure she wasnt scamming you when she said that?

[JacknDanny]

not me, the mother in law, but i guess you cant really call her a thai expert seeing as she is thai and has never left the place!

better to take the work of some old bald farang with a ''countryside'' wife

She probably realises her son- in- law is a tight wad, so is saying that to try and save face all round

[meemiathai]

not me, the mother in law, but i guess you cant really call her a thai expert seeing as she is thai and has never left the place!

better to take the work of some old bald farang with a ''countryside'' wife

So you feel proud over old, bald, and countryside people? you think you are better than these people?

[meemiathai]

not me, the mother in law, but i guess you cant really call her a thai expert seeing as she is thai and has never left the place!

better to take the work of some old bald farang with a ''countryside'' wife

She probably realises her son- in- law is a tight wad, so is saying that to try and save face all round

Got to agree with you on this one, Jack. Exactly what was in my mind.

[leftcross]

i know it may surprise some of you to hear that what old man somsak told you was ''THE ONLY WAY'' inbetween sips of his lao kao may, in fact, just have been a ploy to steal your cash.

i realise that is an embarrassing prospect to admit, you know being hoodwinked by someone who left school aged seven.

my view is to those who may marry thai women who are not from the ''countryside''. my mother in law looked down on the sin sod because she said it was a ''banor'' thing.

as stated the father in law said he wanted me to use my cash to make sure his daughter and i had a good start in our married life.

its a situation i was happy with.

[JacknDanny]

not me, the mother in law, but i guess you cant really call her a thai expert seeing as she is thai and has never left the place!

better to take the work of some old bald farang with a ''countryside'' wife

So you feel proud over old, bald, and countryside people? you think you are better than these people?

There is a word for it.......................Insecurity

[meemiathai]

Just telling what farangs are saying about sin sod to my wife and my wife got really pissed.

[leftcross]

touch a nerve?

[JacknDanny]

i know it may surprise some of you to hear that what old man somsak told you was ''THE ONLY WAY'' inbetween sips of his lao kao may, in fact, just have been a ploy to steal your cash.

i realise that is an embarrassing prospect to admit, you know being hoodwinked by someone who left school aged seven.

my view is to those who may marry thai women who are not from the ''countryside''. my mother in law looked down on the sin sod because she said it was a ''banor'' thing.

as stated the father in law said he wanted me to use my cash to make sure his daughter and i had a good start in our married life.

its a situation i was happy with.

I sense a lot of hate within you. Have you tried talking about it to a psychiatrist?

You really are saying some nasty things here

[meemiathai]

i know it may surprise some of you to hear that what old man somsak told you was ''THE ONLY WAY'' inbetween sips of his lao kao may, in fact, just have been a ploy to steal your cash.

i realise that is an embarrassing prospect to admit, you know being hoodwinked by someone who left school aged seven.

my view is to those who may marry thai women who are not from the ''countryside''. my mother in law looked down on the sin sod because she said it was a ''banor'' thing.

as stated the father in law said he wanted me to use my cash to make sure his daughter and i had a good start in our married life.

its a situation i was happy with.

My wife said if you had actually went through some education you wouldn't have said something like that.

I was bred here in HK which is also a place that sin sod is the norm. So I don't need somsak to tell me what it is.

You are either trolling here or otherwise I really look down on you. You have absolutely no respect for people.

No manners whatsoever. Be careful of falling down from that high horse, it is really going to hurt.

[leftcross]

it's strange how that was my thai mother in law's opinion and also my thai father in law's opinion.

different strokes eh???

[meemiathai]

touch a nerve?

Your narrow-mindedness is unbelievable. Come over here to HK and see who I really am. You would be surprised. And remember to use Listerine coz shit stinks.

Hope I get the chance to meet you in person and see how smart you are. Just for the sake of broadening my eyesight that human brains can function that way.

[meemiathai]

OK, lastly I hope you get some self satisfaction from here on the internet where you can't in real life.

[Neeranam]

touch a nerve?

[leftcross]

touch a nerve?

Your narrow-mindedness is unbelievable. Come over here to HK and see who I really am. You would be surprised. And remember to use Listerine coz shit stinks.

Hope I get the chance to meet you in person and see how smart you are. Just for the sake of broadening my eyesight that human brains can function that way.

did you puff your chest out while you typed that?

[meemiathai]

I am actually throwing my mobile phone against the wall and my tv onto the ground. Breaking everything within eyesight. Really angry!