How Much Sin-sod Did You Pay?

[buriramboy]

when you think the average wedding in the uk costs around 10,000 pounds (700,000 baht) a sin-sot of 50,000 baht (which is what i paid) is nothing in comparison. i was never asked for a sin-sot, just asked all my freinds what they paid, did a bit of research then came up with a figure of 50,000 baht, gave it to the mother-in-law and she was delighted, probably because i had already told the wife i did not want it back. the wifes cousin got married last month, she's only 18 and married a local security guard and he paid a sin-sot of 15,000 baht and 1 baht gold, and this guy ain't got 2 satang to rub together.

BB

[a2396]

My 24 y/o niece from Korat just got married to an American on December 29th....Sin Sot...500,000 baht!!

From what I know of my niece, she never had a boyfriend. Very dedicated to her family. Came home every weekend to help her parents at the market.

Even though I feel my niece is a great catch (very attractive, educated, hard working, loyal), I think 500,000 baht was a little over the top. The Sin Sot was used to pay for the huge party and paying off a truck loan.

When I got maried to my 20 y/o Korat girl, I paid 100,000 baht but the money was returned to me the next day. Granted, I did pay for the wedding but I made decent money from the guest

All my friends (Thai and American) paid a Sin Sot when they married. I think this is a personal matter and calling someone who pays a "moron" or "idiot" will not change anything. I also think calling those who don't pay a "cheap charlie" will help the issue any.

Ski.....

Question If your niece had a brother he being a Thai hcould not afford 10,000 bath Sin Sot would you lend him 100,000 to give a poor rice farmer to marry his poor daughter?

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

Well....3 of my wife's friends got married within the last 4 months and these are the Sin Sot numbers:

1st girl (20 y/o-factory worker) - 100,000 baht and 2 baht gold

2nd girl-(19 y/o-factory worker) - 60,000 baht and 1 baht gold

3rd girl-(22 y/o goldshop employee) - 150,000 baht and 5 baht gold

Now, the grooms are all simple factory/office workers. They raise money mostly through selling off the land and borrowing from loan sharks. The cheapest Sin Sot I've heard of around here was 20,000 baht and 1 baht gold.

So if you still believe that only rich "farangs" pay Sin Sot or that Thai people are out to get you....than that's your choice. Don't confuse 1 Thai family trying to rip/scam you as the norm. Most Thai families I know are just simple folks and Sin Sot is part their tradition. I've never heard of a family around here getting rich from Sin Sot.

Yes, I still think 500,000 baht for my niece was over the top but than again......my niece is a nice simple girl...wish I can say the same about her parents.

Ski......

Selling off family land and borrowing money from loan sharks to pay for some "extorsion" like this does not make a lot of sense to me. The bottom line is that one has "purchased" a bride/wife. Love?? Who knows where it is or how much love, if any in corrupt deals such as these. The whole idea is NUTS!!!

[TAWP]

Selling off family land and borrowing money from loan sharks to pay for some "extorsion" like this does not make a lot of sense to me. The bottom line is that one has "purchased" a bride/wife. Love?? Who knows where it is or how much love, if any in corrupt deals such as these. The whole idea is NUTS!!!

Also think how much better the family would be off having that land and NOT a debt to loansharks...

If you are a rich thing and like to show it, by all means, have your issan-party and give until it bleeds. Some of us have found girls (and families) of the 20th century however...

[LoveDaBlues]

If you think the whole idea is nuts then don't pay sinsot. Simple.

Love? The concept is different here; especially in the early stages of a relationship.

[Bruce1]

My daughter's wedding in Oz cost me $13,000. His parents' contributions was a few bottles of drink. He was totally poor and culd barely afford a coffee. By comparison, as a parent of the bride, sin sot sounds like a good deal to me.

[BkkAnimalover]

I think that anyone , may be in different way and amount , give some contribute to the family's wife or girlfriends . I do not believe to the ones that say zero ( N.B. exception confirm the rule )

Standing right now: 50% paid and 50% didn't pay or don't want to admit

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2007-01-02 01:00:52)

You're the only farang in Thailand that I've heard of that benefits financially after marrying an Isarn farmer's daughter. Are you sure you do ?

I'd never give a divorced woman, especially with kids, a sin sot.

Of course it's a deal.

Are you sure of this comment?

Yes.

The farang usually benefit, but not financially. As I say it's almost like a business deal in most cases I've known.

Do you know the destuction of drink, I will tell you that without this Isaan girl that you appear to hold in so much contempt, I would be not have benefitted in anyway, shape or form, than I have at present.

I know personally the evils of drink. I don't hold Isarn girls in contempt - what makes you say that?

Before you ask, yes she was married and had a child, someone I hold as the continued light in the face of pathetic comment as yours.

But as you know nothing of these circumstances and I can't be bothered to show you any respect to tell you, that will remain undisclosed.

I seemed to have hit a raw nerve, I apologise, but you're the first I've heard of if you have benefitted more than the Thai family.

Have a good year

Mossfinn

Thanks, you too.

I paid a 100,000 baht dowry and 6 baht of gold. We kept the gold and half the dowry was for the party. There was 50,000 that wasn't paid back -which I took to mean that I never have to take care of the parents again. If they had been wiser, they'd have given it back. No big deal - when one of my daughters gets married, I'll get more than that back.

I know 2 guys whose Thai step-daughters got married and they never asked for a dowry, after paying one themselves for a divorced woman with kids - what's all that about? The rules change when there is a farang involved, ESPECIALLY if he has just arrived in the country.

[terry57]

My 24 y/o niece from Korat just got married to an American on December 29th....Sin Sot...500,000 baht!!

From what I know of my niece, she never had a boyfriend. Very dedicated to her family. Came home every weekend to help her parents at the market.

Even though I feel my niece is a great catch (very attractive, educated, hard working, loyal), I think 500,000 baht was a little over the top. The Sin Sot was used to pay for the huge party and paying off a truck loan.

When I got maried to my 20 y/o Korat girl, I paid 100,000 baht but the money was returned to me the next day. Granted, I did pay for the wedding but I made decent money from the guest

All my friends (Thai and American) paid a Sin Sot when they married. I think this is a personal matter and calling someone who pays a "moron" or "idiot" will not change anything. I also think calling those who don't pay a "cheap charlie" will help the issue any.

Ski.....

Question If your niece had a brother he being a Thai hcould not afford 10,000 bath Sin Sot would you lend him 100,000 to give a poor rice farmer to marry his poor daughter?

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

Well....3 of my wife's friends got married within the last 4 months and these are the Sin Sot numbers:

1st girl (20 y/o-factory worker) - 100,000 baht and 2 baht gold

2nd girl-(19 y/o-factory worker) - 60,000 baht and 1 baht gold

3rd girl-(22 y/o goldshop employee) - 150,000 baht and 5 baht gold

Now, the grooms are all simple factory/office workers. They raise money mostly through selling off the land and borrowing from loan sharks. The cheapest Sin Sot I've heard of around here was 20,000 baht and 1 baht gold.

So if you still believe that only rich "farangs" pay Sin Sot or that Thai people are out to get you....than that's your choice. Don't confuse 1 Thai family trying to rip/scam you as the norm. Most Thai families I know are just simple folks and Sin Sot is part their tradition. I've never heard of a family around here getting rich from Sin Sot.

Yes, I still think 500,000 baht for my niece was over the top but than again......my niece is a nice simple girl...wish I can say the same about her parents.

Ski......

dont you think its a bit extreme to sell off ones land to raise sin sot.?

it seems a bit crazy to me as thats the basis of all wealth.

dont seem like a very good start to ones relationship to be doing things like that but your telling the story and i dont know any thing about it.

its only a question thats all.

[tuky]

My wife and I have a joint bank account where all our money goes.

My MIL asked that the only form of "Sin Sod" we give is that I take good care of their daughter.

Having said that my MIL does live with us, FIL bounces around from here to there. We did buy FIL a motocy a couple of months after the marriage (at the Amphur).

My wife doesn't give her folks an allowance, I have told her I am ok if she gave a couple of k a month but she says we pay the household bills for them and they eat off our table so that is enough. We have got a really great deal as the only difference between MIL and a maid/nanny is that we would have to pay a maid/nanny.

The whole extended family know my wife to be kii neow so they know to visit only when I am home as I take pleasure in buying the drink and food.

BTW my wife was 24 when we married (I was 28) she was never married or had any children. We now have two lovely daughters.

[Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t]

The only thing that bothers me a lil about paying a truck load of Sin Sot (which I am), is that Thai families usually help their son with the sin sot. When you see some young Thai paying 500,000 baht it's usually his DADDY's money. Where as we generally come up with all the bread ourselves without the family support mechanisms they have YET we are generally expected to pay more!. SO I think for us when we pay a Sin Sot it actually means allot more.

[Sakeopete]

I put 100 000 for show for her parents to gain face with the agreement that it was to be returned. My wifes parents are very good and didn't want a satang.

[BlackArtemis]

I paid nothing, and we are both paying for the wedding. I wouldn't pay it, heck I am going to take care of my finacee for the rest of her life.

Now it might be different for me, she has a masters in TEFL, and her dad is a high Govt employee. So the high education and wealth might be the difference. I notice most Farang paying sin sod are marrying girls in Issan. I also do understand that Thai people pay it more often. But when a family asks a farang for 300-1million baht, it's time to just leave, after all you marry the family...

The above comments are right, making a debt is a horrible way to start a family, heck money is one of the leading causes for divorce, so why start off a new life already behind?

[Far Angst]

'

I've inquired about this matter of a couple of Thai men whom I much respect. They both said the dowry (sin sod) is only paid on the first marriage and only if the bride is a virgin. It is never paid for used goods, ever. If the lady has kids from the first marriage or other colorful past, they'd expect to be paid to take care of the other man's kids.

I know some guys have made it clear from the day one that the marriage is a farang marriage and they both do as farang do. He does not expect her to be a virgo intacta, he’s not paying sin sod nor is he sending any money to bride's family. A very clear-cut situation, this one. This is Thai marrying into farang culture.

Now, many of the marriages I’ve seen in T-land are a quite unhappy mix of the two cultures so blissfully united:she’s pure as driven slush, he’s paying more than a courtesan’s ransom in sin sod for shop-soiled merchandise and he keeps on sending the money (knowingly or unknowingly) to support the laid-back life-style of the bride’s family. The two packs of the cultures together thusly shuffled seem to be stacked against the farang and are dealt from the bottom.

Then again, maybe this is how the Romans in Thailand do and farang is expected to take it all with a silly grin. And, of course, the fool in his paradise is in a paradise and is enjoying it all. May he never open his eyes.

,

Edited January 2, 2007 by Far Angst

[Neeranam]

Then again, maybe this is how the Romans in Thailand do and farang is expected to take it all with a silly grin. And, of course, the fool in his paradise is in a paradise and is enjoying it all. May he never open his eyes.

Wise words.

[The Professor]

I say if you choose to marry a Thai then you must abide by the culture. I married a 19y/o virgin hiso Thai and paid nothing because I don't have any job or money. My wife supports me

Edited January 2, 2007 by The Professor

[Donz]

im paying a small sin sot that will be returned but I have refused it.

her father will be paying for my wedding and now he wants to pay for a deposit on a house for me in Sydney.

I love it

[beejoir]

Bugger all!

[SanukJoe]

Hi SanukJoe,

I can't repeat all of your quotes but you speak so much sense in a sea of hopeless, worthless paranoid misanthropy that I would like to buy you a beer in the future.

I see you will be in Isaan in Feb but it may now be some time before I am back again, hopefully I will buy you that beeer then.

Good Luck

Moss

Hi Moss

Thank you for then nice words, good to know I'm not alone in my thinking, no doubt out there are a lot of farang thinking the same as you and me. Old Wanderer is one of them...

Invitations: great guys! I accept your invititation for a beer sometime in Isaan and Old wanderer: I will be there at that house warming party, just let me know when and where. Thanks guys.

Joe

Edit: our house will be ready around july/aug this year, needless to say that you are both very much welcome to visit us, would be fun.

Edited January 2, 2007 by SanukJoe

[tuky]

Now, many of the marriages I’ve seen in T-land are a quite unhappy mix of the two cultures so blissfully united:she’s pure as driven slush, he’s paying more than a courtesan’s ransom in sin sod for shop-soiled merchandise and he keeps on sending the money (knowingly or unknowingly) to support the laid-back life-style of the bride’s family.

This is as sad a generalisation as I have ever heard.

I do not know where some of you guys are hanging out and who with but out of all my friends in Thailand some have paid sin sod some haven't, but none are married to shop soiled merch. and none are knowingly or unknowingly paying for her families laid back lifestyle.

[solo siam]

I believe Sin Sot really only applies if you are married in the village/with the in-laws in a Thai traditional wedding. I personally didn't pay any as we got married here in Phuket, but then the first time I went to the village I spent some money doing up the family house - which I was happy to do, did off my own back, and supervised - even did some of the work myself (not much else to do there).

I think many are missing the point, that its supposed to be fun - I attended a wedding between two young Thais in the village, Sin Sot was paid and announced over the PA system exactly how much it was, to much cheer and whooping. Frankly there was no way the poor kid could have paid that, so I'm guessing the whole family pooled together so they wouldn't lose face.

[meemiathai]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

What are you smoking? Million of Thai paying 100,000 to get married. The only way most Thai can get a 100,000 to give is from a Farang,

Henry, as you claim to live in Pakistan, what have you viewed with your own eyes?

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

Tradition or no tradition, let's just think about what this concept results in. With such a monetary basis (requirement) for marriage, it is highly probable that many matches are made soley for money and not love. What about the poor Thai guy who can't scrape up enough cash and what about the Thai girl who is "marketed" and sold off to a Farang, just beause the family neeeds money. This is a common scenario here. Unfortunately, love is often NOT the primary factor. I recently know of one 20 yr old lady who cannot marry the Thai guy of her choice, because her Mother wanted 100K. They bargained it down to 50K, but he still cannot pay. SO, she likely will be "sold offf" to whoever has 100K. This is not the makings for a future happy marriage, in my opinion.

Does one have to be very intelligent to see that the case you mentioned has nothing to do with sin sod? A greedy mother can always ask for money even if sin sod had not existed. And the girl can always run away from home to marry the guy she loves nowadays.

It is fine for me that some of you guys don't like the concept of paying sin sod. But no need to insult the ones that do. I also grew up in a culture(HK) that everyone accepts the concept of sin sod. So you just don't know how much bs is coming out of your mouths when you talk about something you don't know.

For me the sin sod is to thank her parents respectfully for creating and giving me such a wonderful woman. And I won't take it back even if they want to.

By the way, how much did you pay? a2396?

[SanukJoe]

Now, many of the marriages I've seen in T-land are a quite unhappy mix of the two cultures so blissfully united:she's pure as driven slush, he's paying more than a courtesan's ransom in sin sod for shop-soiled merchandise and he keeps on sending the money (knowingly or unknowingly) to support the laid-back life-style of the bride's family.

This is as sad a generalisation as I have ever heard.

I do not know where some of you guys are hanging out and who with but out of all my friends in Thailand some have paid sin sod some haven't, but none are married to shop soiled merch. and none are knowingly or unknowingly paying for her families laid back lifestyle.

Well said! Some people are not able to look at a culture from the owners of the culture side, farang look at it farang way: stupid and arrogant. If a Thai comes to whatever country in the "civilised" west, he/she has to adapt to the rules and traditions of that country, right?

So why do some farangs who come to Thailand not adapt to the culture and traditions of Thailand? Why they judge and condemn everything that is different from their poor, yes poor culture/traditions?

To one poster: yes I'm in paradise and I have my eyes closed. I closed them after haven seen with open eyes how it looks outside of paradise. I decided to leave the rich civilised western culture!? and go for the paradise. I read a lot about thai culture, I accept it and I'm happy, got it?

[SanukJoe]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

What are you smoking? Million of Thai paying 100,000 to get married. The only way most Thai can get a 100,000 to give is from a Farang,

Henry, as you claim to live in Pakistan, what have you viewed with your own eyes?

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

Tradition or no tradition, let's just think about what this concept results in. With such a monetary basis (requirement) for marriage, it is highly probable that many matches are made soley for money and not love. What about the poor Thai guy who can't scrape up enough cash and what about the Thai girl who is "marketed" and sold off to a Farang, just beause the family neeeds money. This is a common scenario here. Unfortunately, love is often NOT the primary factor. I recently know of one 20 yr old lady who cannot marry the Thai guy of her choice, because her Mother wanted 100K. They bargained it down to 50K, but he still cannot pay. SO, she likely will be "sold offf" to whoever has 100K. This is not the makings for a future happy marriage, in my opinion.

Does one have to be very intelligent to see that the case you mentioned has nothing to do with sin sod? A greedy mother can always ask for money even if sin sod had not existed. And the girl can always run away from home to marry the guy she loves nowadays.

It is fine for me that some of you guys don't like the concept of paying sin sod. But no need to insult the ones that do. I also grew up in a culture(HK) that everyone accepts the concept of sin sod. So you just don't know how much bs is coming out of your mouths when you talk about something you don't know.

For me the sin sod is to thank her parents respectfully for creating and giving me such a wonderful woman. And I won't take it back even if they want to.

By the way, how much did you pay? a2396?

Wise words Meemiathai, I totally agree.

[tuky]

If a Thai comes to whatever country in the "civilised" west, he/she has to adapt to the rules and traditions of that country, right?

Being an Aussie I tend to follow the Aussie news, over the last few years I have read many quotes from the PM stating that people migrating (opening a can of worms here? I hope not) to Australia need to become "Australian", Aussies expect it. You need to fit in.

Forgetting the visa issues, if we expect others to become Australianised then why should we not adapt too?

[SanukJoe]

dont you think its a bit extreme to sell off ones land to raise sin sot.?

Maybe I can clear up a little bit on this item.

Thai people who own land can borrow money from the farmers bank, say a mortgage on their land. They pay it back and don't lose the land and can still use it.

On top it is known that if a groom and his family are very poor, both families come together before the wedding and agree on a sin sot that will be given back to the poor family after the wedding.

So at the wedding it is loudly announced how much the groom paid, so he and his family don't lose face (big thai issue, for those who don't know: read about it!). That is the way thai stick to their tradition without bringing families to bankrupcy. Nice, isn't it?

Joe

[Diablo Bob]

Reading this thread it becomes apparant that there is a wide disparity of thought concerning the issue of Sin-sod. Myself, I don't really care one way or the other if you did or if you didn't.

The doomsayers applying Western thought to an Eastern tradition are a little harsh on their judgements of the others actions. As to the amounts that have been paid, who cares! As long as the person is happy it was a personal decision made in what they thought was their own personal interest. Their financial advisor might disagree, but again who cares!

They/We might have our eyes closed, but I do think that after 6 years and 2 kids I would have seen the light at some point.

[SanukJoe]

If a Thai comes to whatever country in the "civilised" west, he/she has to adapt to the rules and traditions of that country, right?

Being an Aussie I tend to follow the Aussie news, over the last few years I have read many quotes from the PM stating that people migrating (opening a can of worms here? I hope not) to Australia need to become "Australian", Aussies expect it. You need to fit in.

Forgetting the visa issues, if we expect others to become Australianised then why should we not adapt too?

Right again! In the European Union people have to take a course on history, culture and traditions of the country they want to live in. On top: THEY HAVE TO SPEAK THE LANGUAGE!!! I know a thai woman who married a dutchman and she wants to live in his country until he retires. She is an english teacher but she has terrible problems learning the dutch language.... poor girl. So if a Thai has to speak the language of the country and knows everything about history, culture and traditions, why would we farangs not know and accept thai culture if we want to live there? We are not forced to speak the language, we are not forced to know about their history, culture and traditions, they expect us to have so much "civilisation" and respect that we fit in on a voluntary basis.

Joe

[chuchok]

If a Thai comes to whatever country in the "civilised" west, he/she has to adapt to the rules and traditions of that country, right?

Being an Aussie I tend to follow the Aussie news, over the last few years I have read many quotes from the PM stating that people migrating (opening a can of worms here? I hope not) to Australia need to become "Australian", Aussies expect it. You need to fit in.

Forgetting the visa issues, if we expect others to become Australianised then why should we not adapt too?

if you are able to buy a house in your own name and work here without jumping through hoops then I would say 'fair enough'.Untill then no way.I am not treated as an equal here.I accept that,but my wife would be treated as an equal in my home country.

I can fit in anywhere,but I don't expect the "trouble" to adobt my culture 100% and she does not expect me to adobt hers 100%.A far as I am concerned it is a 50/50 thing.

[a2396]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

What are you smoking? Million of Thai paying 100,000 to get married. The only way most Thai can get a 100,000 to give is from a Farang,

Henry, as you claim to live in Pakistan, what have you viewed with your own eyes?

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

Tradition or no tradition, let's just think about what this concept results in. With such a monetary basis (requirement) for marriage, it is highly probable that many matches are made soley for money and not love. What about the poor Thai guy who can't scrape up enough cash and what about the Thai girl who is "marketed" and sold off to a Farang, just beause the family neeeds money. This is a common scenario here. Unfortunately, love is often NOT the primary factor. I recently know of one 20 yr old lady who cannot marry the Thai guy of her choice, because her Mother wanted 100K. They bargained it down to 50K, but he still cannot pay. SO, she likely will be "sold offf" to whoever has 100K. This is not the makings for a future happy marriage, in my opinion.

Does one have to be very intelligent to see that the case you mentioned has nothing to do with sin sod? A greedy mother can always ask for money even if sin sod had not existed. And the girl can always run away from home to marry the guy she loves nowadays.

It is fine for me that some of you guys don't like the concept of paying sin sod. But no need to insult the ones that do. I also grew up in a culture(HK) that everyone accepts the concept of sin sod. So you just don't know how much bs is coming out of your mouths when you talk about something you don't know.

For me the sin sod is to thank her parents respectfully for creating and giving me such a wonderful woman. And I won't take it back even if they want to.

By the way, how much did you pay? a2396?

I paid more than enough and would never do it again, knowing what I know now. The money I paid was of no benefit to my lady & was used to pay off her mother's house mortgage, which has in her sister's & mother's names, ie she received nothing from this transaction. I pointed this out to her at the time, but she did not want to raise a fuss. In addition, I was and am expected to pay a mothly stipend to her and her Mother. So, what I got and have is a relationship based on money. As for the 20 yr old runing away & marrrying the boyfriend: If you are a so-called expert on Thai culture, you know as well as I that this girl will generally follow the wishes of her Mother. She is expected to bring in the cash in whatever means she has available. This institutionalized practice of sin sod is an easy method.

[SanukJoe]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

What are you smoking? Million of Thai paying 100,000 to get married. The only way most Thai can get a 100,000 to give is from a Farang,

Henry, as you claim to live in Pakistan, what have you viewed with your own eyes?

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

Tradition or no tradition, let's just think about what this concept results in. With such a monetary basis (requirement) for marriage, it is highly probable that many matches are made soley for money and not love. What about the poor Thai guy who can't scrape up enough cash and what about the Thai girl who is "marketed" and sold off to a Farang, just beause the family neeeds money. This is a common scenario here. Unfortunately, love is often NOT the primary factor. I recently know of one 20 yr old lady who cannot marry the Thai guy of her choice, because her Mother wanted 100K. They bargained it down to 50K, but he still cannot pay. SO, she likely will be "sold offf" to whoever has 100K. This is not the makings for a future happy marriage, in my opinion.

Does one have to be very intelligent to see that the case you mentioned has nothing to do with sin sod? A greedy mother can always ask for money even if sin sod had not existed. And the girl can always run away from home to marry the guy she loves nowadays.

It is fine for me that some of you guys don't like the concept of paying sin sod. But no need to insult the ones that do. I also grew up in a culture(HK) that everyone accepts the concept of sin sod. So you just don't know how much bs is coming out of your mouths when you talk about something you don't know.

For me the sin sod is to thank her parents respectfully for creating and giving me such a wonderful woman. And I won't take it back even if they want to.

By the way, how much did you pay? a2396?

I paid more than enough and would never do it again, knowing what I know now. The money I paid was of no benefit to my lady & was used to pay off her mother's house mortgage, which has in her sister's & mother's names, ie she received nothing from this transaction. I pointed this out to her at the time, but she did not want to raise a fuss. In addition, I was and am expected to pay a mothly stipend to her and her Mother. So, what I got and have is a relationship based on money. As for the 20 yr old runing away & marrrying the boyfriend: If you are a so-called expert on Thai culture, you know as well as I that this girl will generally follow the wishes of her Mother. She is expected to bring in the cash in whatever means she has available. This institutionalized practice of sin sod is an easy method.

We can all see now why you are so bitter and condemning sin sot.

Obviously you're not happy as you feel you have a relationship based on money.

Sorry mate, shit happens, just realise that one bad example is not the standard.

Joe