Why would or shouldn't a man get married to a woman?

[Elkski]

What are the reasons for a man and woman to get married in 2017?

 

And since I am a USA citizen with assets and I am looking to retire in Thailand and may end up with a Thai woman that is where I am most interested but I didn't want to say farang/Thai in the title and limit the discussion.  I understand if a married couple live in USA for 10 years then the woman can get SS benefits from husband.  

I maybe wrong on these things. Please correct me if needed. 

I understand there is a simple Temple wedding, one where there is paper work filed with amphor, and then lastly registering the marriage in Your home country.   I understand a thai marriage is recognized in the UK. 

I can think of a few reasons to get married. 

1-Religious

2- Some people have beliefs of marriage before sex or cohabitation

3- To qualify for Thai pensioner health care coverage 

4- Thai woman has a career where she is a role model. 

5- to get a USA visa for the woman.  

 

Reasons to not get married.

A- assets purchased after the marriage are jointly owned no matter who purchased said items. Ex. Scooter, car, etc 

B- risk to assets in home country??

 

I myself don't have any reasons I can't live with someone without marriage.  I would be just as loyal with or without some paper.  I am quite anti religious. So giving any religion any credibility by some ceremony my cause me heart burn.   I can see a big party professing our love and intentions.   No I don't have a lady in mind.   Yet. 

Edited August 7, 2017 by Elkski

[Here2008]

2 minutes ago, Elkski said:

I understand there is a simple Temple wedding

Such a wedding does not result in a legal marriage in Thailand or outside. 

 

"To qualify for Thai pensioner health care coverage" -- There is no such thing as a universal pension. 

 

Most people marry a person they love and respect. You should give that some thought. 

[Elkski]

You should think of why you think this?  Brainwashed?  I think man and woman were happy together for millions of years before any marriage certificate was thought of.  

I hear that a legal (?) spouse, parents and children of a government worker has some sort of health coverage at government hospitals.   Isn't this true? Maybe it's just the 30 baht system.  I am all ears and learning. 

Edited August 7, 2017 by Elkski

[Here2008]

Just now, Elkski said:

You should think of why you think this?  Brainwashed?  I think man and woman were happy together for millions of years before any marriage certificate was thought of.  

Most of us no longer live in caves. 

 

You are welcome to do as you wish but beware Thai women ! 

 

 

 

 

[Elkski]

So if a couple don't get sone official Marriage like you believe in, you think they are like Neanderthals?  Or that they can't be happy?   Do you see how judgemental this is?  

[Here2008]

Just now, Elkski said:

So if a couple don't get sone official Marriage like you believe in, you think they are like Neanderthals?  Or that they can't be happy?   Do you see how judgemental this is?  

NO -- But I do recognise misogyny! 

[Elkski]

People like you make me happy humans have a fixed lifespan. 

[RowdyAlpha]

The cash. A wedding supposed to be memorable, which can't be done on the cheap, I've got other things to spend money on so it's better not to get married. Well that's my excuse. Lol

[Here2008]

Just now, RowdyAlpha said:

The cash. A wedding supposed to be memorable, which can't be done on the cheap, I've got other things to spend money on so it's better not to get married. Well that's my excuse. Lol

Our wedding was conducted at an Amphoe --  50Bht was paid for the certificates. 

[Elkski]

So 1.50$ USD proves a couple love each other?   I'm confused. 

How does this certificate provide the power of Love and a shield against being called a misogynist?  

I think a toast of strong drink among friends has more meaning.   I'm affraid this thread didn't go in a meaningful direction.  

[theguyfromanotherforum]

There is a difference between not being religious and downright disrespectful. My entire family are atheists, but I still kneeled in front monks on my wedding day.

Aren't you the guy that blurted out hilarities such as Thai women prefer partners 20++ older. Well...yes...yes they do indeed, but a scooter and a toaster won't cut it with those ladies, roflz

[Elkski]

Blurted??  How does one blurt in writing?  How was this OP or my replies above  disrespectful to men or women? I just   submitted a question about marriage.   I was aiming and expecting for more factual replies.  Or if  religious views , and I support you if that is your reasoning for feeling the way you do,  but at least have the cahones to say why you believe in marriage.   Or do you still believe in a tooth  Fairy.  I guess your feelings seem strong enough to cause you to spew hatred.  Or it that just always your way to communicate?. 

I never said Thai women prefer 20 year older men.  But i have talked to some who have parents as role models with an age difference of 20 years.  Many Thai women have told me they know of happy Thai Women married to older farang.   Maybe it's always for monetary gain?  I'm just learning.  I'm not anti marriage.  I just want to know why a guy should do it?  

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Blurted??  How does one blurt in writing?  How was this OP or my replies above  disrespectful to men or women? I just   submitted a question about marriage.   I was aiming and expecting for more factual replies.  Or if  religious views , and I support you if that is your reasoning for feeling the way you do,  but at least have the cahones to say why you believe in marriage.   Or do you still believe in a tooth  Fairy.  I guess your feelings seem strong enough to cause you to spew hatred.  Or it that just always your way to communicate?. 
I never said Thai women prefer 20 year older men.  But i have talked to some who have parents as role models with an age difference of 20 years.  Many Thai women have told me they know of happy Thai Women married to older farang.   Maybe it's always for monetary gain?  I'm just learning.  I'm not anti marriage.  I just want to know why a guy should do it?  

No one should do it and I am certainly not an expert about Thailand, but if she wants to get married this nonsense about it just being a piece of paper won't fly here. I used to live in Quebec which is the centre of the universe with couples co habitating and never getting married. I could use the piece of paper argument there - not in Thailand. This is a religious country. I mean...a piece of paper? What a hell?

[Elkski]

I'm not to the point of the M word with anyone.   I understand that there maybe reasons some Thai Women insist  on getting some official blessing. I've heard teachers need to set an example , perhaps parents, Budda or whatever.   I have had a few light discussions on this topic with Thai women.  Some say nothing is required and others talk about being a teacher.   It doesn't seem to offer a Thai woman any financial commitment from the man except for purchases made after.   I met the one couple where the guy was a typical big belly Falang and a cute 18 yr younger Isaan wife.  He is her 4 the marriage?? They were planning on making a trip to USA to make it official there.  I can't understand this guy's reasoning.  Or her desire to do this.   I'm just trying to find out the benefits, pitfalls of the various Thai  American marriage.   I was happily married for over 25 years.   Despite all the advice I get I am  not looking for woman 20 years younger.   I don't judge others but I have not started to chose to rent it yet.  

[thehelmsman]

I've been with the same lady for 9 yrs., have a child together, never got married. My love and commitment shows in the land and 2 houses I've bought for us. We do plan to make it official someday. I guess my lady always knew I was in for the long haul, she never pestered me about the subject.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

21 hours ago, Elkski said:

I'm not to the point of the M word with anyone.   I understand that there maybe reasons some Thai Women insist  on getting some official blessing. I've heard teachers need to set an example , perhaps parents, Budda or whatever.   I have had a few light discussions on this topic with Thai women.  Some say nothing is required and others talk about being a teacher.   It doesn't seem to offer a Thai woman any financial commitment from the man except for purchases made after.   I met the one couple where the guy was a typical big belly Falang and a cute 18 yr younger Isaan wife.  He is her 4 the marriage?? They were planning on making a trip to USA to make it official there.  I can't understand this guy's reasoning.  Or her desire to do this.  

 

The reasoning is simple. He wants to show a trophy wife in USA and she wants to show a farang mug to her family and friends giving her a hiso lifestyle.

 

Things in Thailand are very simple. Most parents would practically disown their children if they found out they are living with someone without being married. I even dated a Thai Canadian and she couldn't say to her parents she was sleeping in my condo until I met them in person.... and this girl was Westernized and rich. I spent 2 years in my current wife's house before getting married and she asked me never to even mention to her mom that I am living in her house which she bought and paid with her own money. I am strictly speaking about women who never married before and have no children as this is my experience. Someone who married before it is probably another story.

 

So, to summarize...... marriage is important here and yes, it's just a piece of paper, but so is Fiat money, university degrees, your stocks, birth certificate, etc, etc.....

[Emster23]

 I got married, did the civil paperwork. No religion of any sort involved. It made her happy, and there are some future benefits that won't matter to me (I'll be dead) but does give me some peace of mind. If I wind up in coma in hospital, she can make decisions as my wife that girlfriend couldn't. As my legal registered spouse, it will be harder for Thai government to make off with assets I leave behind when I die. And I love her, trust her, knew her for 5 years before marriage and she is not a young woman on the make. Or an older woman on the make....

[transam]

13 hours ago, Elkski said:

Blurted??  How does one blurt in writing?  How was this OP or my replies above  disrespectful to men or women? I just   submitted a question about marriage.   I was aiming and expecting for more factual replies.  Or if  religious views , and I support you if that is your reasoning for feeling the way you do,  but at least have the cahones to say why you believe in marriage.   Or do you still believe in a tooth  Fairy.  I guess your feelings seem strong enough to cause you to spew hatred.  Or it that just always your way to communicate?. 

I never said Thai women prefer 20 year older men.  But i have talked to some who have parents as role models with an age difference of 20 years.  Many Thai women have told me they know of happy Thai Women married to older farang.   Maybe it's always for monetary gain?  I'm just learning.  I'm not anti marriage.  I just want to know why a guy should do it?  

We are all individuals with our own individual thoughts on stuff, even marriage..A couple may want to get married for what ever their reason is. That reason has nothing to do with you or me...In fact your question is daft...

[smotherb]

16 hours ago, Here2008 said:

Most of us no longer live in caves. 

 

You are welcome to do as you wish but beware Thai women ! 

 

 

 

 

You don't have to live in a cave to not need a government or a religion to sanction you and a loved  one living together. I too do not hold any sacred thoughts for marriage. I am married, but for the convenience of travel and residence together without undue hassle. I have been with my wife for almost 40 years and would be with her whether or not some government or church recognizes the marriage.

[smotherb]

16 hours ago, Here2008 said:

NO -- But I do recognise misogyny! 

Are you saying not getting married and simply living together is misogyny?

[georgemandm]

17 hours ago, Here2008 said:

Such a wedding does not result in a legal marriage in Thailand or outside. 

 

"To qualify for Thai pensioner health care coverage" -- There is no such thing as a universal pension. 

 

Most people marry a person they love and respect. You should give that some thought. 

You don't need to marry someone to love and respect them at all .

 

[transam]

5 minutes ago, georgemandm said:

You don't need to marry someone to love and respect them at all .

 

Think that is common knowledge..

[Tony125]

Why would or shouldn't a man get married to a woman?

Most guys would prefer a long term relationship with a woman who they love cares for them and he for her and is a companion rather than just sex with some girl they don't know who  they just met at a bar.  If you don't have a Federal or Private Company Retirement plan and will only be receiving Social Security then she must live in USA for 5 years not 10. You can protect any assets you have with a will drawn up in USA  As a farang you cannot own land here but can own a home (seperate deed) or a condo outright in your name. If the marriage goes south the family court will divide the goods bought during marriage equally unless you have made a prenup in Thailand, warning the court may overrule part of the prenup if it seems blatantly unfair.

[RowdyAlpha]

Our wedding was conducted at an Amphoe --  50Bht was paid for the certificates. 

Must have been memorable, what was the wedding cake made of. Rice and fish sauce icing.

[transam]

3 minutes ago, RowdyAlpha said:

Must have been memorable, what was the wedding cake made of. Rice and fish sauce icing.

That would have been top notch chum....

[Beats56]

Not that I don't love my wife...I do.

It was because of our son so that let me be named as the father...which I am. And if some thing bad happened to my wife...I pray not....I would be able take back home with me. Hé already got a passport and citizenship so there would be no problem.

 

 

[peterb17]

All I can say if you are concerned about 50% ownership of a scooter, then there are some serious issues. It's sounds like you have already decided not to get married.

 

I have a suspicion that the divorce rate here is quite high- but there are many members who have very successful marriages and bring up beautiful well behaved kids.

 

A marriage is a partnership- built up over time ( can be tricky!) and can take hard work to overcome cultural differences.

 

To be honest - all you seem concerned about is money ( I imagine I'm not the only one who laughed about Thai pensioner cover) .

 

If you want to hang onto your 'assets' don't come to Thailand. 

[Elkski]

Ease of travel?  I have not encountered any issues with accommodations.  In fact many times I have the woman fill in the registration card. They don't ask for my passport then.  No reason to let Thai govt know my whereabouts. This works even if I use Agoda.  

I hadn't really thought of the trophy wife thing. At least not to brag about.  It would make no difference to me if I introduced a woman in the USA as my GF or wife. 

No one  has really  commented with facts about the govt health care system that all govt workers have.  I'm not sure how good it is? I have heard of que's  for certain non life threatening things.  I've been told a legal spouse is entitled? As well as parents and children of the retired govt worker.  Nurse, teacher, etc

 

It's not the scooter. It's the BMW X5, the Robertson, etc.   

As a relatively healthy person the health care may provide for the catastrophic things?  Is this health system a  joke or something? I heard many govt hospitals are quite good heart trauma centers.

There seems to be a way to get children dual citizenship without marriage from what I've been told by one unmarried widow. 

I'm not against the idea of marriage.   I do want to protect my assets but over time make sure any person I am with gets her share.  But maybe I want some of her riches.  Why do so many people have to be sexist as well as cling to traditions without thought?   Why would I be laughed at for just asking this question?  

Edited August 8, 2017 by Elkski
Add on stuff

[transam]

1 minute ago, Elkski said:

Ease of travel?  I have not encountered any issues with accommodations.  In fact many times I have the woman fill in the registration card. They don't ask for my passport then.  No reason to let Thai govt know my whereabouts. This works even if I use Agoda.  

I hadn't really thought of the trophy wife thing. At least not to brag about.  It would make no difference to me if I introduced a woman in the USA as my GF or wife. 

No one  has really  commented with facts about the govt health care system that all govt workers have.  I'm not sure how good it is? I have heard of que's  for certain non life threatening things.  I've been told a legal spouse is entitled? As well as parents and children of the retired govt worker.  Nurse, teacher, etc

I reckon you have issues with yourself chap....

[Slain]

Good luck Elski

You seem to have a sensible approach to find out what you need to help in your situation. So I assume when you meet up with your future partner  you may  find the best options that would suit your situation.

As always though, it is probably mostly luck how things will go.  

I am always put off by the statistics of second/third marriages so cant honestly recommend.