Funniest Moment In Thailand

[Jet Gorgon]

I lived in the jungle near Maenam Samui for a few years. A footpath shortcut from the market to the village was about 20 metres in front of my home. The only traffic was villlagers and a few motorbike drivers who always waved as they passed. One morning, I heard a rumbling, almost like an earthquake tremor. Looked up and saw two water buffalo chasing each other down the path to the village. A few seconds later, about 30 screaming Thai men came hoofing it down the path in pursuit. Huh? Apparently the lady buffalo was in heat, the male got out and the chase was on, straight down to the beach.

Ever seen that on Rama V?

Please share your hahas. Nothing nasty, now.

Edited January 4, 2007 by Jet Gorgon

[cdnvic]

the lady buffalo was in heat, the male got out and the chase was on,

Ever seen that on Rama V?

Seen it in Nana Plaza, but they wern't buffalo.

Edited January 4, 2007 by cdnvic

[Jet Gorgon]

Oh ya, lots of stray dogs there.

[aaaaaa]

the lady buffalo was in heat, the male got out and the chase was on,

Ever seen that on Rama V?

Seen it in Nana Plaza, but they wern't buffalo.

a lot of other places apart from Nana !

too many funny moments while in Thailand - can't decide which one is the funniest.

[pumpuiman]

One afternoon while sitting with my wife and her sister in the shade of her Isaan home, I watched as the two of them scrambled like kids running for the ice cream truck.

An elderly Thai man was making his way down the soi announcing his wares.

My wife and sister soon returned with several flayed,gutted and cooked rats.

They were absolutely beaming!!

Yes, I ate them too. Not bad really.

[Jet Gorgon]

Um, I'm going to the toilet now.

[cdnvic]

Um, I'm going to the toilet now.

I take it you're sitting.... it's awful hard to hold the laptop in one hand, type with the other, and aim with....

[Barney_the_Dinosaur]

1) During a visit to a bar in Nana Plaza, imagine my consternation when I found out that the 'hostesses' were actually men.

2) During a visit to Soi Cowboy, one of my entourage decided to strip down to his briefs and prance about on stage.

[donna]

one of the funniest things that happened to me was when i was working as a tour leader. i was running a family trip with 4 families and we were at the FAE elephant hospital in lampang. there was a very naughty baby elephant there called BB who was a real little terror. he kept on putting his front legs on the railing and reaching over with his trunk at all of the group. (yes, we were a little close, but it didnt seem dangerous at the time as the elephants were behind a fence).

anyway, one brave little 9 year old, christopher, was posing for a photo in front of the elephant (elephant was behind him) when little BB reached over and pulled the kids head into his mouth! not right in, mind you, but enough to have a thick coating of elephant spit all through his hair. anyway, the trunk was going over the kids eyes and whatever. we were all having a bit of a laugh, but then common sense kicked in and i called out 'christopher...you should take your head out of the elephants mouth now'.

he didnt.

i said it again and all i can recall is his arms flailing about. we were all in hysterics, his parents included, and then i went over and extracted the child from the elephants gob.

after the event (we were all still laughing at it), i asked him if he could hear me calling him.

'no.....all i could hear was ttthhhhwwwkkkkk ttthhhhwwwkkkkk ttthhhhwwwkkkkk from the elephants mouth'.

as if that wasnt funny enough, one of the parents also got it on video.

i cried with laughter for days just thinking about that.

[Barney_the_Dinosaur]

Can you ask them to upload that video to Youtube? Sounds remarkable.

[Jet Gorgon]

Um, I'm going to the toilet now.

I take it you're sitting.... it's awful hard to hold the laptop in one hand, type with the other, and aim with....

Um...I'm a girl.

[Jet Gorgon]

Yeah, Donna. lol x 10. Send the vid!

[cdnvic]

Um, I'm going to the toilet now.

I take it you're sitting.... it's awful hard to hold the laptop in one hand, type with the other, and aim with....

Um...I'm a girl.

That makes my response even more apt.

[Jet Gorgon]

Um, I'm going to the toilet now.

I take it you're sitting.... it's awful hard to hold the laptop in one hand, type with the other, and aim with....

Um...I'm a girl.

That makes my response even more apt.

I am multidextrous.

[cdnvic]

Um, I'm going to the toilet now.

I take it you're sitting.... it's awful hard to hold the laptop in one hand, type with the other, and aim with....

Um...I'm a girl.

That makes my response even more apt.

I am multidextrous.

I'd like to stop this line of discussion now

[Jet Gorgon]

Me, too. Please add a funny page.

[toptuan]

Last weekend, while visiting a temple ruin on the Thai-Cambodian border, I seated myself among the ruins, on a high ledge in the shade for lunch. A moment later, a Thai woman decided to do the same but on a lower ledge. Then everyone suddenly noticed the culturally uncomfortable situation she put herself into: After she had sat down, her head was about six inches directly under my foot. Noticing the horror on the faces of her friends, who were looking at my foot and her head, she glanced up--directly into the bottom of my foot.

The startled and embarrassed surprise on her face was immediate. Without thinking, I immediately responded with a "mai pen rai" (no problem).

About 10 Thai people around started laughing their a$$es off, and I was perplexed at what was so funny, until I saw it through their eyes:

Here's a farang sitting with his foot practically on top of a Thai's head (which would normally elicit revulsion, offense and insult), and he's telling her "Don't worry about it."

Instead of creating an uglier scene, and thanks to the good-natured Thai sense of humor, they all saw the crazy irony of the situation that the woman had inadvertently put herself in the offending position. My verbal response just added fuel to the irony. Result? They just laughed themselves silly. Suddenly seeing it through Thai eyes, I joined in the laughter, and quickly repositioned my low-life foot--away from most sacred part of a Thai's body!

Edited January 4, 2007 by toptuan

[davidjtayler]

I live in the Ari area of Bangkok and whenever we have heavy rain the roads get severely flooded.

A few years ago I was on my way home during a thungerstorm and got to Ari to find the road flooded as to be expected ... I rolled up my jeans, took my shoes off and waded through.

As I was nearing my home, amidst the pandimonium, I noticed a little old man running around the edge of the road, which was now a river, with a tea strainer in his hand.

I curiously went up behind him to see what he was doing and to my astonishment found that he was in fact chasing a small fish ....

He was trying to catch this fish for supper with his tea strainer in the middle of the road ....

I can only think that the fish swam up through the swollen storm drains which is how it ended up in the road but it was a sight to behold ...

I laughed so hard, I laughed my <deleted> off, so he's probably chasing those too now ....

[Jet Gorgon]

Nice one, toptuan. Ever had that on the train trying to traverse the 3rd class carriage (from the dining car) to get back to the sleepers after you drank a lotta beer.

[Jet Gorgon]

I live in the Ari area of Bangkok and whenever we have heavy rain the roads get severely flooded.

A few years ago I was on my way home during a thungerstorm and got to Ari to find the road flooded as to be expected ... I rolled up my jeans, took my shoes off and waded through.

As I was nearing my home, amidst the pandimonium, I noticed a little old man running around the edge of the road, which was now a river, with a tea strainer in his hand.

I curiously went up behind him to see what he was doing and to my astonishment found that he was in fact chasing a small fish ....

He was trying to catch this fish for supper with his tea strainer in the middle of the road ....

Oh, jeez! That is so funny. It reminds me of two gay friends who had a huge pond of koi and guppies. Their place was way low and it got flooded one year. I was out to get coffee and Toy was on the main road with a fish net and bucket trying to catch his fish as they came flowing out on the street with the water. The fish all died, even the ones he rescued, but the sight of the rescue mission was priceless.

[toptuan]

A Blanket to Reckon With

I came home to a muffled cry coming from S's room. S is a university student who rents an extra room in my apartment, and is normally no trouble at all. His cry sounded like a distressed voice trying to talk through a mattress. I opened the door, and indeed it was as it sounded. He was laying face-down on his bed, apparently unable to move his head. Coupled with his useless effort to talk, it looked very unnatural.

"What is it?" I asked, alarmed. All I could make out was a muffled phrase of distress. So I tried my question in Thai: "Arai Na?!" Same unintelligible response.

I stooped down close to his head, and decided to pull it up from the bed--apparently something he seemed unable to do by himself. To my surprise, the whole bedspread came up with his head. Did he try to swallow the bedspread? A strange suicide attempt? Did his face get smeared with super-glue, then he fell asleep on the bed?

His face turned from distress to impatient irritation. "Get this brlllllghghghkt off my brdhglsdfcs!"

"What?" I yelled in his ear.

"Get this brlllgghghhkt off my braydghffflces!!!".

I started pulling on the blanket, but in pain he stumbled after it, with his face firmly attached to the bedspread. OK be gentle. The guy is in obvious pain and distress.

I finally wedged a couple fingers between his face and the blanket, enough to look in more closely. Yes, the blanket was somehow attached at his mouth. A slight twist, and the light revealed the source of the blanket's imprisonment: S's new braces. Something the dentist never warned him about ("stay clear of chewing gum, corn on the cob, and those clinging blankets!").

I thought we'd never untwine some of the loose threads of the blanket from his braces. Many minutes of untwining, punctuated with muffled "Oy!'s" made slow progress of separating the prey from captor (and which was which?).

When we finally freed up his sore and tired mouth, the story spilled out. While laying on his tummy on the bed, he had momentarily put his face down to the blanket and yawned. That's all it took. Baited and hooked. That's about the time I came home.

Then the funny side of it hit. We both laughed until the tears came. We imagined what it'd be like taking him to the dentist with a full bedspread attached to his face. First there'd be the nighttime 9-kilometer motorcycle trip with the blanket wildly flying around his head in the wind. It'd look like a ghost or banshee flying down the highway, and the Thai are terrified of both. Then the long wait in the waiting room and the quizzical stares from the 50 other waiting patients. What's this? The grown-up Thai version of Linus with his blanky? Then tucking him into the dentist's chair, blanket and all. I'm sure it would have made dental history, for at least that office.

I told him that if he insisted on catching blankets with his braces, he'd have to eventually get some kind of hunting or fishing license--and that he'd have to gut it and clean it all by himself. No more help from me!

2006 is gone. But among many more important and profound events of the past year, we'll always smile about "The Day of the Blanket Attack". In light of the things that others have been through, may all our new problems be so small and solvable in 2007. Yours, too.

Happy New Year

[helicoptor]

A few years ago we travelled on the overnight train from Surat hani to BKK, as we stayed up all night with the Thai train guard trying to communicate and drinking Thai Whisky (which, BTW had its funny moments) we were about 100KM from the capital and going through a barren area.. I happened to look out of the window at this point and up ahead by the track was lone shed/hut no bigger than metre square. This BTW was in the middle of nowhere!

As we passed this hut I noticed a guy sitting inside watching TV! Maybe it was the drink but the whole surreal vision made me laugh till it hurt. My friend and the Train Guard did not believe me and blamed it on the Mekong

[bkkmick]

Almost five years ago when my first kid was about 9 months old I was out boozing with some friends while my Mrs was looking after the kid.

I was down Patpong (a bit drunk, amazingly) and got a phone call from the wife: "Buy some Pampers before you come home", no problem.

When I had finished my evening I went into Foodland to get the Pampers. I walked around the isles and found the section. After looking for a while I called over an assistant. I asked her in my best Thai "Me yai gwar mai?" (do you have bigger?)...She looked confused, obviously not understanding my Thai, so I gestured with my hands the size of my daugheter "this height, this width" - she still didn't understand...I kept saying bigger (yai gwar) and gesturing...finally she got what I was on about and led me around the corner to a different isle and pointed to the Pampers. Great, I got the size. Then I wondered what I was looking at...I was at the tampon/tampax area. The packaging is the same, blue plastic tight wrapped packages.

I wondered why the girl was looking so confused when I was pointing at the tampax saying "bigger, this height".

Made me laugh anyway.

[Jet Gorgon]

Too funny, y'all. That's the best part of sharing cultures. Good laughs. If only we could make vids of this stuff.

[steveromagnino]

We imagined what it'd be like taking him to the dentist with a full bedspread attached to his face.

You wouldn't just use scissors and chop the blanket up?! the mind boggles.....

BTW, if someone inserts themselves below your foot, normally, the issue of greng jai should kick in; you should be the one to make an effort to accomodate them by moving the offending foot; kind of like someone crossing a room and you have your legs outstretched; even though they are the ones moving, you can pull your legs in so they can get past; but sounds like it all worked out fine in the end any way :-) Was that Panomrung by any chance? Lots of high ledges there :-)

Well....to add to the stories, I do recall once commenting to my boss regarding an advertisement in Thai - those models (who were westerners) just look like East European gangsters and prostitutes, they have no class, whoever chose them has no taste at all blah blah blah. Probably talked for about 10 minutes about the lack of taste in the ad, all in extremely inappropriate Thai language. Ah well, of course it turned out she was the one who had chosen them and laid out the ad.

Ah well, I still work for her, so I must have done something nice along the way to make her forgive me :_)

I also recall clogging up the family toilet with paper, not knowing that some areas of Bangkok still cannot flush with paper; not helped by the fact that I had a supreme case of kee dtaek, meaning that the entire suam was full of liquid kee and my aunt had to clean it all out.

Also....when I first arrived, same aunt offered to take me to a job interview, that was pretty important, after I had just asked her to help me with work and thing. To which I said, 'mai kair, mai kair luey na. Khun mai dtong mah' when what i meant was 'mai benrai'; ######, not sure how I managed to screw that up. A few tears and hugs later, we sorted things out.

And finally, I recall taking a new client to a er, massage parlour, for entertainment as is often expected. After claiming that I never indulged in this sort of activity, upon the massueses arriving, for some reason, a woman who I cannot recall ever seeing before, claimed that I was the most frequent visitor there that she knew and that I had probably visited every single woman in the dtoo. And it just came out of nowhere, so I went completely red, and was so embarassed at this assault on my good name. Which just leant weight to the rumour, and resulted in a client going back to their country and spreading the story that their Thai consultant was a supreme whore monger.

Ah well, such is life; I've made some supreme language bloopers as well on the way; what I learned in snowboard racing, boxing, sailing and almost every other sport and activity I've done, if you aren';t making mistakes/looking like an idiot from time to time, you aren't trying hard enough :-)

[JacknDanny]

Um, I'm going to the toilet now.

I take it you're sitting.... it's awful hard to hold the laptop in one hand, type with the other, and aim with....

Um...I'm a girl.

Priceless!!

[lost_in_space]

Once, while getting students to come up with job names/careers using compound nouns, instead of "air hostess," a student wrote on the board... "air hostage."

[Billfo]

While in Chiang Mai, me and three mates went to the xtreme sports place and went offroad buggying. It was 2 to a buggy and I was driving the buggy behind my 2 mates, following my mate around a corner, much to my amazement and worry (and later much amusement) my mate drives into/over a dead tree trunk about the height of a football, as he hits this tree trunk the buggy starts to turn over on its passanger side. Our mate who was in the passanger side sees the ground coming at him fast, so instinctively and rather foolishly he puts his arm out the car toward the ground! The car settled on its side with my mates arm trapped between the roll bar and the ground (thankfully dirt). So me and my passanger rush out the car to free the arm, but just before we help our friend in need his best mate decides to get a photo! Priceless.

Unfortunately the driver had to pay for damages as the buggy refused to work afterwards!

[edd]

One day, outside our house my brother in law and his friend wanted to harvest coconuts from one of our trees.

They had made a hook on the end of a long bamboo pole so they could hook the coconuts down from the trees.

All went well until Sami, my brother in law, got two coconuts stuck on the end of the 30ft pole.

He was trying to balance them but we knew that it was a hopeless cause as he ran back and forth in an attempt to stop them falling.

When gravity eventually took over they came crashing down and they destroyed my mother in laws outside toilet.

At this point Samai and friend ran away before his mother saw what they had done.

They probably ran away in practice for when they learn to drive and have an accident.

[jEFFREYk44]

About 25 years ago I was living on Soi Saen Suk off Rama 4 rd., there were six 3 story condos all serviced by one maid. The maids daughter was named something like Moi, so we called the maid Mae Moi (Mother of Moi).

One hot afternoon I deceided to take my second shower of the afternoon when much to my surprise, no water, the maid had the pump turned off, so I went to my third floor window and yelled out....."Mae Moi, mai mee nam!", did so a few times.

Saw a few people downstairs looking up at me quizically (that means funny and curious to you Aussies), anyway, I later found out that the way I was pronoucing the words basically meant that I was saying....."Mother of pubic hair, we have no water!"

or so I was and am told