Gsxrnz

You know you've become well adapted to Thai driving and road conditions when you drive at home and feel scared and confused by the rigid orderliness.

They should stick to doing e-coli and formalin tests at the markets and food outlets. I vaguely recall some results a few years ago showing that something like 70% of street vendor food in Bangkok was smothered with e-coli.

Put up the argument that the past weekend shouldn't count as they were not business days and the IO was closed, so really only 7 days overdue.

You have to be British (or a colonial) to appreciate the culinary delight of bangers & mash. Must be beef bangers, of course.

I consider myself to be somewhat of a sausage and English breakfast aficionado. The best breakfast available is cooked daily by yours truly. After more than 14 years of research, I can attest that the best sausages available are from Manston. Their English breakfast pork sausages are probably the best, but I only have these sage and red onion ones in the fridge at the moment. For clarification, they don't come anywhere near the quality and flavour of the many brands of boutique style sausages available to me at home. But they are miles ahead of the tasteless plastic skinned dogfood otherwise available in Thailand supermarkets.

I'm struggling to recall the last time I had a day sans alcohol, but I'm reasonably confident it was during the reign of Maggie Thatcher, may God rest her soul. ????

They're talking "Thai time", 20 seconds could mean 3 minutes, or the day after tomorrow......maybe. Get with the programme.

I wonder what John Galt would have to say about this?

Don't try to explain the theory of earthing to a Thai Sparky. It's a rabbit hole you don't want to go down. When I eventually convinced him the earth wire on the newly installed water pump was a necessity, he screwed it to a plastic housing.

Economists and Meteorologists are allowed to get it wrong more than half the time and still keep their jobs. I look out the window and can make a better guess. Objectivism comes in handy every day.

Back to the future, when a spade wasn't a shovel, and a transvestite was a bloke who wore women's clothes.

Sell the house. Sorted.

If they can't utter a sentence without using the F word, I tend to avoid any interaction. Another good test is if their knuckles are dragging on the ground. Funnily enough, some of the nicest blokes are the ones that look as though they got dressed in the dark and are a walking fashion crime.

My wife is 36. My girlfriend is 26. I'm one year older than their combined ages. I leave the math to the reader.

No smoke, no skid-marks. Drifting Thai style (driving in circles). Hell yeah brother, you're not on the Cleetus McFarland youtube channel.

This happens to me all the time. I just thought it's because I have a face like a burglar, and they assume I'm about to nick sumfink.

This is Thailand. I can see the Sub eventually being powered by a string of Honda PCX150 motors.

Ironically, woke-ist dogma decrees that even though the perpetrator possessed an allegedly bent penis, we don't actually know their gender. Hypothetically, the perpetrator may identify as a woman - potentially making this a female on female offense - even though the criminal and the victim both had 2 veg and meat. Actually, I vaguely recall a Monty Python sketch along these lines.

Go to Homepro or any other similar retailer and you will find ready made drapes as per your picture. The drapes are in a multitude of sizes and shades (pun intended) and the selection of curtain rods is virtually limitless.

Assuming the work is completed by October, I wonder what the timeline is to come back and fix all the cockups?

At 88, I wouldn't be deferring too many decisions until tomorrow.

Let's be fair, it does look like well organised chaos.

Another step towards the demise of the USD as the world's Reserve Currency.

Dollars to a jar of rancid fish paste says he'll be ensconced under "house arrest" in a mansion befitting his fragile state of health within a month. The only burning question is what were the numbers preceding the nine zeroes of his merit-making gift to facilitate the homecoming. House arrest a la Thai will mean don't vacation on Mars, otherwise no pompem.

Hope he's not the bloke booked to clean my A/C at 10:00am today.