tomazbodner

A man is making rounds giving Easter greetings to his neighbour when he gets to the last one... When the door opens, he puts on a grin and says: I wish you all the same as you wish for me! Angrily, neighbour blurts: How dare you!

2 girlfriends talking and one asks the other: I've heard you married a boxer. What's he like? Ummm.... difficult to describe. He looks different after each match...

Cop walks up to theater ticket seller and says "I'd like 2 tickets for tonight's show." "Romeo and Juliet?" "No. For me and my wife!"

Johnny is bored in heaven, so he goes to complain to God: How is it possible that I am so bored in heaven? I thought it was going to be fun! God: Maybe that's because I have no sense of time. For me, 1000 years is like 1 minute. Johnny: What about 1000$? God: That's nothing. Like 10 cents, I have no sense of worth either. Johnny: Cool! Then can I borrow 1000$? God: Sure, no problem. Just wait a minute...

Woman is standing in front of mirror.... Geez, I'm so fat! And look at all these wrinkles! I look so old! Dear, please say something nice to console me... Husband: You have excellent eye sight, darling...

Employee: Boss, my salary is so lousy I can't even afford to get married! Boss: You'll thank me later...

Frank walks into the office and sees John at work... John, my man, what are you doing here? I thought it is your mother-in-law's funeral today?! Yeah, it is... but you know... work first, party later!

They are not at all rare. Even Lazada is full of them, so are PowerBuy, PowerMall, HomePro, Boonthavorn... Installation is simple like washing machine - connect intake, put the drain hose in the drain and connect electricity. Takes 10 minutes. Supplies for them (pills, powder, rinse aid, salt) are available at Tops, Villa, Foodland, BigC... and of course online sellers.

Now take that Canon to China and let me know how that goes...

@HappyExpat57 Maybe time to rename to Unhappy Expat?

Reminds me of a real story - a man raped 2 women. He then started identifying as a woman. Convicted, (s)he was sent to all women's prison! https://www.cbsnews.com/news/isla-bryson-trans-woman-convicted-rape-scotland-prison-sentenced/ Some sanity prevailed as a few days later (s)he was moved to men's prison...

Waiting to hear when we agree to host Russian tactical nuclear weapons...

Open Google Maps. Choose starting point, destination and tap on Directions. Choose means of transport and starting date/time and it will show you the best routes and approximate time it should take at that time. Obviously if there are any accidents or something, it will be off, but in general it's quite accurate.

Close the windows! Else vacuum sensor at the back. This is not normal for filter running in (seems Air Purifier Pro) up to 60m2 space, if 450 AQI outside it should bring it down to 30-50 AQI inside with leaky Thai windows...

I see an excellent advice to ditch the masks for people in Chiang Rai province. I guess this article comes with sponsorship from some funeral services? Maybe this one?

I call that a nose job... On a serious note: The Boeing 747 was being taxied on Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia) airport from a hangar toward a departure gate to board 319 passengers for Jeddah (Saudi Arabia), when the crew lost directional control of the plane and it entered a monsoon drainage ditch, resulting in serious damage to the forward air frame/nose section. None of the six crew members aboard were seriously injured. The aircraft was being moved by a maintenance crew, who taxied using only the no.1 and no.4 engines, apparently not realizing that the aircraft's braking system is powered by hydraulic pumps powered by engines no.2 and no.3 only.

5 Spray cans!

Now get your lungs examined.

Boy and girl are sitting on a bench and watch the Moon and the stars, when all of a sudden the boy turns to the girl and says: Darling... hmm, I don't know how to say... I don't know if you would.... if you...." The girl interrupts him:"Of course, dear. No need to be shy. I am waiting for these words of yours entire evening already. Of course we can make out!" Boy:"Oh no, that's not what I meant. I wanted to ask you if I could borrow 100$?" Girl:"How dare you! We barely know each other!!" Fetching my coat...

And please a lot of snowflakes.

Listen man... when you go fishing, you can't catch all the fish in the ocean, can you?

Taxi driver might have license to legally operate taxi but that doesn't give him rights to assault others. By assaulting others, he is demonstrating that he is a danger to his passengers and others, and his license should be immediately revoked. If karma holds, he should then be assaulted by legal taxi driver for taking passenger in his illegal, black plate, cab.

Hope anyone going there has health insurance... life assurance, so at least family members can benefit from traveler's demise.

Steals half a million baht and buys a Casio. Epic! PS: I just got a renewed admiration for this company after Shakira split with her hubby.

Close the windows. Get a real air purifier.