scottiejohn

Everyone accepts payments with QR codes these days, even all the QR code scammers! A QR code is a very easy way to be scammed! Beware of QR Code Scams | disb (dc.gov) FBI warns hackers are planting fake QR CODES in restaurants that steal your data when you click link | Daily Mail Online QR codes may be OK inside a well established business/building but never on external things like parking meters etc! I will never use a QR code for any form of payment!

As will every ex employee/confidant of the orange one who wants to either stay out of Jail or reduce their time in one!

Forgetful preacher and his riding sins! A Baptist preacher and a Methodist preacher lived in a small town. Being quite young ministers, they rode their bicycles to the town’s only service station every Sunday morning to eat breakfast and discuss their sermons before riding off to preach to their respective congregations. One Sunday morning, the Baptist preacher rode up on his bicycle, but the Methodist preacher walked up on foot. The following conversation ensued: BP: “Brother, what happened to your bicycle?!” MP: “Brother, I believe a member of my congregation has stolen my bicycle.” BP: “Brother, that is a shame. But I know what we ought to do. I’m gonna help you get your bicycle back. When you get into your pulpit, I want you to forget what you were going to continue preaching. Instead, I want you to preach on the Ten Commandments.” MP: “Alright, Brother, I can do that!” With that, the young pastors went their separate ways. The next Sunday, both men arrived at the service station at the accustomed time on their bicycles. The Baptist preacher was ecstatic at the apparent success of his strategy. BP: “Hallelujah, Brother! A miracle has occurred! Did you take my advice? Did you preach on the Ten Commandments as I told you to?” MP: “Yessir, Brother, I did!” BP: “Amen, Brother! And did you make them feel the fire, and did you make them feel the brimstone?” MP: “Yessir, Brother, I did!” BP: “Amen, Brother! And when you got to ‘Thou shalt not steal,’ did you bear down on it, and whoever stole your bicycle got to feeling bad and brought your bicycle back?” MP: “Well, Brother, not exactly.” BP: “Well, do tell, Brother!” MP: “Well, brother, when I got to the pulpit, I did preach on the Ten Commandments. And I did my best to make them feel the fire and smell the brimstone. And I fully intended to bear down on it when I got to 'Though shalt not steal'. But before I got that far I came to; 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and it reminded me where I had left my bicycle!"

I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me... Until I rode pasta.

Don't seem to be any in Chiang Mai! What is their (TTB) full title now as I get different answers on Google/Wiki!

A pastor’s wife walks into a butcher shop She sees the most perfect looking cut of meat in the display case and asks the butcher what kind of meat it is. “That’s Dam Ham,” he replies “I bet your PARDON?!” the lady says, “I am a good Christian woman, and I would kindly ask you not to use that kind of language.” The butcher explains, “Oh no ma’am, I’m not using profanity. Dam Ham is what we call the especially delicious filets we get from Amsterdam!” The woman apologizes for the misunderstanding, buys the filet, and goes home. Later that evening, her husband comes home from work and asks, “What is that Heavenly smell?” “That's Dam Ham,” she replies. “Honey! What would the congregation think if they knew their pastor’s wife was speaking in such a way?” “Oh no honey, I would never!” She responds “They call it Dam Ham because it’s a special filet from Amsterdam.” She finishes making the dinner and they sit down at the table with their two beautiful children. They join hands and say grace. The husband carves the meat, takes some for himself, then passes the plate to his son. After taking his first bite, the husband says, “Honey, you’ve really outdone yourself. This Dam Ham is delicious! “Right on, Dad!” The son says “Now could you pass the <deleted> potatoes and the bloody cabbage?”

AI/CHAT GP They say that the new AI computer knows everything. A skeptical man went online and asked CHAT GP, “Where is my father?” The computer screen flashed came back with "Your father is Skiing in Switzerland!" The skeptical man typed triumphantly, “You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years.” "No, replied the computer immediately. Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed on his @rse coming down the mountain!

A man walks into a fishmongers carrying a trout under his arm. "Do you make fish cakes?" "Yes we do" replies the fishmonger... "Great" says the man, it's his birthday"

Remember when Putin said he didn't have any plans to invade Ukraine? I'm starting to think he was telling the truth.

Putin dies and goes to hell, but a few years later he gets permission to leave hell and to visit Moscow for a day - Goes to a pub in Moscow, orders a few drinks and asks the bartender: Crimea is still ours ? - Yes, bartender says Donbas is still ours ? - Yes, ours Is Kiev also ours?? - Yes yes, of course it is all ours all of the old USSR is ours! Wow, amazing ... how much for the drinks ? 5 Euros please - Bartender says

And certainly not when they arrive without any invites and refuse to leave!

Which new law are you referring to?

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for £500. Before they started, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT." So they did it! On the way to his office he regretted what he had promised, deciding that the whole event was not worth the price. So, he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclosed the following note: Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that: 1) it had never been occupied 2) that there was plenty of heat 3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and feel at home. Last night, however, I found it had been previously occupied, that there was no heat, and it was entirely too large for me. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately replied with the following note: Dear Sir, First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of heat available if you have the wherewithal and know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is, actually, of regular size, but since you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, you can hardly blame the landlady!

MOVIE RATINGS EXPLAINED: G: Nobody gets the girl. PG: The good guy gets the girl. R: The bad guy gets the girl. X: Everybody gets the girl!

Boy calls 999. Hello? I need your help! Operator; Alright, What seems to be the problem son? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! Operator; So what's your emergency with that, are they using weapons or something? Boy: No! Not that it's the big fat ugly one is winning.

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

Lady Gaga Performed at the Prison today. Might I say that the Audience were Captivated.

Why did Lady Gaga cross the road? Because she was wearing the chicken.

Beats per minute with which hand?

I think you really meant to say; "If I were to marry bar girl/prostitute she would first need to insist I get some help from a qualified therapist!" PS; As do us for reading your cr@p!

What calm seas? They make statements about area's weather trends but NO data to back it up! More hot air than practical solutions or facts!

I totally agree! I am a great believer in the phrase "Put up or shut up"!

He should be put in a home and not allowed anywhere near a keyboard! PS; I don't think he is actually a real person and is just a badly programmed AN AI "Click Bait" BOT!

And of course you have the links and proof to back that up?

I think you could have phrased or put that better! ????