Boater

Are the guys in the Military Gear not Voulenteers or from the Army just for Songkran to assist? as i noted they did not carry any firearms?

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

A little girl and her mother were out and about.

Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"

The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.

The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.

The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

A lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquires.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible," the priest exclaims, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responds.

The next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

If he was out in the ocean, how did he get struck? was he wearing a metal chain/necklace?

Different Kinds off Rip-offs

thanks donna

Pattaya is actually moving forward and slighlty improving year on.... well thats my observation over the last 4 years.....

you pay for what you get, but you are looking at around 25,000 THB Per Metre Sq... Excluding Land.....

But with this you can buy a very well built upmarket villa ina development for 40,000 THB Per Sq Mtre... Fully Fitted and Furnished....

Hi AmyB

just please be very careful, as from your user name, i take you are female, and there are some very nasty people who take advantage of flatshares.... also travelers who seem real to begin with, but can also end up not nice people.... I hope you catch my drift

where is deli supermarket?

Don't forget older sister, Long Stay.

and dont forget her foreign boyfriend ' Over Stay '

these bus drivers are the worse breed ( taxi drivers, lorrydrivers and Tuk Tuk Drivers following in second place )

I do the trip between Phuket and Samui, and have seen on sevral occasions near bus crashes, which are always caused by the driver overtaking with on coming traffic or on a blind corner........

I was once so shocked by one bus drivers actions on the road, i rang the bus company to complain about the driver as i feared he would crash with the way he was driving, and surprise surprise the company was not interested!!! even the police seem to want to do nothing!

They need to bring in stricter rules for coach and bus drivers!!!

Does anyone know whether they have to take a seperate test in Thailand to drive a bus ??? as many bus drivers seem to judge the speed and distance and motions of the bus as if they where driving a pick up......??..........

I have met many girls with the same name....Nit, Nat, Poo, Por, Noi etc but cant believe how many girls with name badges called Part Time work at Tesco.....

Yes its a bit wierd, and a lot of thier sisters work in bars and they are called short time

Thank you breezein

that made me giggle ..

this one is really good!!!

No, only August is busy then quiet again for a few more months.

and only busy with Italians who never seem to spend any money

i have been here 4 years now, and i do believe every year it seems to get hotter!!

Global Warming?????????...........

Black Diamond is actually one Buiness in Lamai that makes money!!! place is always packed..... but as above poster mentioned, they have just had a refurb, nice to see a local with buiness sence, as it has only got busier since..

Go to a Tesco Lotus or Big C, they always have Car Booths there.......

or you can try the YMCA or Back Packers hostle

But as Donna mentioned, accomodation is so cheap, there isnt really a demand here... unlike London for example

so i believe he never opened

I didn't think there where any tigers wild in KP???????

Further to the post by Scott, the goverment should already have a plan in place for this kind of emergency.......

Again, this is not normally public knowledge either? unless the goverment has forgotten or hasnt put such a plan to place..... maybe it has been sitting on someones desk for 10 years, and they have had the attitude of ' I will do it tomorrow '

But it is quiet alarming they would mention this as the way they are doing... is this just someone being stupid as normal in the PR department or is this a soft warning of things to come very soon?