chickenslegs

A giraffe walks into a bar. The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve Heineken here.”

The barman says “We don’t serve time travellers in here”. A few moments later a time traveller walks into a bar.

I had a job as a delivery driver. One time I dropped off a huge load of bubble wrap to an office supplies depot. The warehouse manager said "Just pop it in the corner over there". Took me f'kin hours.

Girder

Reporting 90 days in the Kingdom, or reporting to show that your 800/400K THB has not been moved?

Moon

Also nicked fro ISIHAC ... THE UXBRIDGE ENGLISH DICTIORY (M to Z) Alternative definitions for some familiar English words: Macaroon To leave a Scotsman on a desert island Magenta Here comes the Queen Mishmash What Sean Connery will do if he doesn’t get to church on Sunday Module Christmas with The Who Nose dive Bad plastic surgery clinic Ovaltine A fat adolescent Pantomime Underwear for the hard of hearing Passport Fathers’ race Pastiche What Sean Connery eats in Cornwall Phlegmatic Battery-powered handkerchief Pomegranate Australian for a Englishman made of stone Pretext Letters and phone calls Psychedelia Mental cook Quick Noise made by a dyslexic duck Receipt To sit down again Realist A catalogue of bottoms Reindeer A Michael Winner weather prediction Scruple Cross between a screw top and a ring pull Tabby A big church in Yorkshire Template The secretary hasn’t turned up Tenure How they describe a decade in the West Country Testicle A boat maker’s first attempt at a coracle Toll Where you try to put the ball in on a Yorkshire golf course Transport Cross-dressing athletes Truculent That lorry you used to rent out Unfettered Without Greek cheese Urinate You’re a size eight Vanish Rather like a van Walnut An obsessive bricklayer Warehouse A person who turns into a house at the Full Moon Wince A setting on Jonathan Ross’s washing machine X-ray Former fish Yodelling Trainee Jedi knight Zucchini Animal park enthusiast

UNDELIVERED LETTERS FROM HISTORY (Nicked from ISIHAC) In this game, the teams imagine what effect certain letters might have had on history, had they not gone missing: Dear Herr Hitler, Sorry for taking a while to get back to you. We think your paintings are extremely promising. Do hope you haven’t embarked on another career. Dear Arch Druid of Wiltshire, You are hereby advised that planning permission has been denied for the erection of a large henge of stone. We note that although you will provide adequate chariot parking for visitors, the attraction’s proximity to the A344 and A303 junction is likely to cause severe traffic congestion. Yours, Wiltshire Council

Maties

Hemingway's Jomtien. I think there's one in Pattaya too.

https://www.androidtipster.com/what-is-the-key-icon-on-android/ Information about how to find and remove a VPN. Navigate to the ‘Settings’ menu of your android phone Now, depending on the model of your phone, you have to go to the ‘Wireless and Networks > VPN’ option. For some models, it might be Networks>More>VPN. Or else, search for ‘VPN’ on the search bar above the screen. And tap on the ‘VPN’ option from the search result. Whatever the case for you, your aim is to find the VPN settings on your android phone Now that you are on the VPN settings, you will find the name of the VPN apps installed on your phone Among them, you will find an app that will be in the ‘Connected’ state So, tap on the connected app. In doing so, a popup will appear saying whether you would want to disconnect the VPN service or not Simply, tap on the ‘Disconnect’ option and the VPN app will be disconnected

Hudson

No.

Really handy information, that! Thanks! ???? Could perhaps help someone to identify him. Perhaps he fell out of the tree to his death.

Mr Prakan website has some annual travel insurance policies for up to 85 years old (Tune Protect). https://misterprakan.com/en/travel/plans?type=QW5udWFs&tr=MQ==&country=V29ybGR3aWRl&duration=365&startdate=MzEvMTAvMjAyMg==&enddate=MzEvMTAvMjAyMw==&continent=V1c=&code=T3V0Ym91bmQ=

Death penalty would be well deserved in this case. I hope the mother finds some peace.

Brainwaves

A psychic goes into a shop and asks to see some shirts. The shop assistant says: “How about this one?” “It won’t fit”, says the psychic. “How do you know, you haven’t tried it on?” replies the shop assistant. The psychic answers: “That’s a small, I’m a medium”.

I have a feeling that my wife had a secret affair with one of the band Boston. In fact, it’s more than a feeling…

That will please the rhyming slang jokers. Nothing rhymes with Kwasi Kwarteng.

Maybe suggesting that he's from the south but, apparently, he's not Muslim.

aEq1jep_460svav1.mp4

Energy