ballpoint

Just won a medal at the World Weather Forecasting Championships. I beat the raining champion.

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots, but cannot hit...

Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now you mention Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I'm Dishlexic.

Can anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle? 2 across. "Where they nailed Jesus."

April is mathematics awareness month. Celebrate with a takeaway.

I've just seen my mates new tattoo, his chest is covered in vertical and horizontal lines. He's excelled himself this time.

This is a song for Mathematicians: Get your kicks, on 8.12403840463596

If one Domino's pizza shop collapses, would the others then fall in succession?

I like my women like I like my whiskey... 90 years old and kept in a barrel. Only joking, - 18 years old and full of coke!

I bought 50 gallons of Tipex the other day. Big mistake.

I saw a man being arrested by an albino policeman this morning. I thought, "That's a fair cop."

I used to wear a pork pie hat. But I couldn't stand the gravy running down my neck.

Man dressed in cricket whites walks very slow into a doctors surgery. Man. “Doc, you’ve got to help me, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my rear“ Doc. “Oh really? Howzat?” Man. “Don’t you bloody start!”

Doting Jewish mother meeting her daughter coming off her flight; next to her, holding hands, is a Native American gentleman of noble bearing, with the most beautifully woven cloak, a plume of exotic feathers upon his head and a richly decorated stick in hand. Mother screeches: "Oy vey iz mir! No, no! I said a RICH doctor!"