ballpoint

I put a bet on at the bookies and my horse came in. I said "What the hell are doing in here? You're supposed to be at the race track!

I think I'm getting fat. When I sit in the bathtub the water in the toilet rises.

Let's see what Musk does when Trump starts trashing EVs on Twitter.

They're now reporting the true activity of the source is indeed 19 gigabecquerel. "Chief Health Officer Andrew Robertson said the small silver cylinder was a 19-gigabecquerel caesium 137 ceramic source commonly used in radiation gauges. “That may not mean a lot to people but probably more concerning is that it does emit a reasonable amount of radiation,” he said. Dr Robertson said the unit emits about two millisieverts of radiation per hour, which is the equivalent of having 10 x-rays in an hour". To compare, the maximum dose rate permitted for radiation classified workers in Australia is 20 millisieverts per year. Outback hunt for lost radioactive capsule - Australian Associated Press (aap.com.au)

Give him enough rope...

Lat week I said to my wife that my New Years resolution is not to say anything that will upset people, and I bet yours is to lose a lot of weight”.

I paused a film last night while I made a cup of tea. I've now lost my job at the cinema.

Greenland have launched their first ever national lottery . You have to be Inuit to win it!